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Approved Location Praeda System

Grand Shepherd Burtch

Retired old admiral
Grand Shepherd Burtch
Character Bio

ANVIL AND HAMMER TOGETHER, PRAEDA SYSTEM (Anvil (X) on the left, Hammer on the right, both orbiting on a shared barycenter together, forming a Lagrange point.)
Location on map is marked by ANVIL (X)
Rushed_1.jpg

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: Create a resource-rich, inhospitable, and industrial system for industrial/trades minded people to RP in.
  • Image Credit: (X) (X) Both images edited together by Heath Valhoun
  • Canon: N/A
  • Permissions: (X)
  • Links: some inspiration comes from (X). Planet Anvil submission here (X)
SETTING INFORMATION
  • Star System Name: Praeda System
  • Region: Outer Rim Territories
  • Affiliation: Mandal-Elysium Arms, NAKAIOMA.
  • Accessibility: This system is highly accessible to all. However, because Damascus Station is protected by several built-in gravity well generators, traveller's cannot simply drop out of hyperspace right next to it. Once exiting hyperspace, a traveller must complete the last leg of his/her journey with sublight engines, just like if Damascus Station was a planet.
  • Description: Upon a glance, this system is a bustling industrial powerhouse, with heavy space traffic coming and going, and obvious facilities. There are two worlds that share a barycenter while orbiting around the Praeda star together. The barycenter forms a Lagrange point where Damascus Station is securely held. The magnetospheres of the two worlds often discharge electrical currents between them, so Damascus Station harnesses that power for its factories.
SYSTEM INFORMATION
SOCIAL INFORMATION
  • Population: Moderate breakdown by worlds:
    • Hammer: Uninhabited
    • Anvil: Insignificant
    • Damascus Station: Crowded (see submission)
  • System Traffic: High
  • Demographics: Composed entirely of refugees that have been taken in by the Elysium Empire
    • Humans (about 50%)
    • Chiss
    • Wookies
    • Trandoshans
    • Mon Calamari
    • Dorneans
  • Native Species: none
  • Immigrated Species:
    • Humans (about 50%)
    • Chiss
    • Wookies
    • Trandoshans
    • Mon Calamari
    • Dorneans
SYSTEM FEATURES
  • One yellow sun
  • Two planets orbiting around a Barycenter, creating a neutral gravity point between them (called a Lagrange point) as they both orbit together around the sun
    • Hammer - a gas dwarf planet. This planet is a rich with gas resources that are harvested and brought back to Damascus Station for refining.
    • Anvil (X) - a crusted planet with oceans of lava. This planet is rich with minerals and ores which are taken back to Damascus Station for refining. Anvil suffers from being highly Inhospitable to live on, but there are massive habitation domes on the North and south poles that provide lodging and amenities for miners that work here. Although work here is extremely lucrative, people usually return back to Damascus Station on their days off in rotation.
    • Damascus Station - a massive station, securely positioned in the barycenter Lagrange point between the two planets. This station is densely populated and is the only properly hospitable location in the system. Industrially, it is a refinery for raw materials and a robust manufacturing center at the same time. For this reason, Damascus Station is a dominating economic powerhouse for whatever faction controls it.
  • The outer asteroid belt. A resource rich asteroid belt surrounds the whole system, although it is largely unexplored. The orbital zones outside the belt are almost entirely unexplored.

SECURITY: High
  • Mercenaries protect The North and South Pole Habitation Zones on Anvil.
  • A significant detachment of Elysium Ships is based at Damascus Station.
  • The Elysium Imperial Fleet is Stationed in neighboring systems and would reinforce the system if necessary.
  • Damascus Station is protected by its own security force. See Damascus Station submission for details

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Early into Loreena Arenais-Valhoun's insertion into the Elysium Empire's Royal family, she and Rex Valhoun decided to spend their honeymoon with the Elysium Empire's Exploration Expeditionary Force. The goal for this particular operation had been to find resources to help sustain the nomadic imperial civilian fleet and establish a remote garrison for future emergencies. Upon reaching the mouth of the southernmost galactic arm of the galaxy, they took a chance on a system that was heavily cloaked in radiation and magnetic interference. When they investigated the system up close, they discovered that the sole star was orbited by two planets that shared a gravitational barycenter as they orbited the star together.

The naval officer in charge of overseeing the survey considered their time to be limited and elected to place a recon probe in the barycenter between the two planets. That way it could collect data and be recovered later. The probe was rather unsophisticated and needed to be delivered by a ship, so they sent an escorting Majesty Class Star Destroyer, named the HMS Wrought Iron to deliver it. What occurred then, caused Loreena and her team of scientists to consider this system more seriously...

Upon reaching the Lagrange point near the Barycenter of the two strange planets, the magnetic fields between the two worlds began to discharge electrical current through the hull of the large warship. The sudden presence of a large metal mass between the worlds seemed to complete some sort of circuit, which cause the two worlds' magnetospheres to release their electric disparity towards each other. The current arced through the defenseless star destroyer for mere hours before the molecular integrity of the vessel was broken down to the point of no longer conducting electricity. All hands aboard had been lost.

Although aggrieved, Loreena and Rex's team of scientists became fascinated with the world and petitioned to perform more surveys on the twin worlds. What they quickly discovered was that the solid world, newly named Anvil, had a static magnetic field while the gas dwarf planet, now named Hammer, had a dynamic magnetic field that reversed it's polarity once every galactic standard year or so. The constant change in the relationship of magnetic polarities between the two worlds could then be exploited to create immense electrical current with the aide of a regulated electrical conductor in the Barycenter. The power supply would be immense and endless, if regulated correctly.

This information was taken straight to Loreena Arenais-Valhoun and Rex Valhoun whom they took it to King Heath Valhoun . With this information, plans were drawn up to build an extremely massive space station, and Mandal-Elysium Arms was contracted for the job. NAKAIOMA was contracted to build most of the ground based infrastructure on Anvil.

Some time later, the space station, called Damascus, has finally been completed. It is now a highly capable production facility capable of exporting a wide variety of manufactured goods while also being a place for Elysium Empire citizens to call their new home. While many races and species are racing in to call it home and begin making a living, the Imperial Descendants that Heath Valhoun found many years ago have been starting to cause trouble, as they jockey for privilege, status, and control. Time will tell if the culture in the Praeda system can maintain stability for the sake of the local population.
 
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Grand Shepherd Burtch

Retired old admiral
Grand Shepherd Burtch
Character Bio
Submission is ready for judge now. I apologize in advance for this one, since it’s my first planet and naturally I couldn’t just make a simple world that circles a star lol. I’m more than happy to make whatever changes are necessary to make this work.
 
Major Faction

The Mongrel

Mawite Legend
The Mongrel
Character Bio
Under Review Grand Shepherd Burtch Grand Shepherd Burtch

Very interesting idea (and the image edit is very cool, took me a minute to register what Heath did but it came out great), but as you mentioned was likely, we're going to need to make some tweaks to make this work.

  • The Planet template is for individual planets; you could submit a planet and mention its moons and other bodies in the same system, for example, but you cannot submit two planets as one Planet submission. Systems are different; they are considered Locations in the Codex, and have to be submitted to that section. I can move this submission to the Locations forum, but the template you use will need to change (to the System template), and systems are not eligible for inclusion on the map. Only planets are. Why? I dunno. But rules are rules, and that's what the rules tell us.
    • My advice? Make Anvil the planet you're submitting (and, accordingly, the title of this submission). Talk about Hammer in the System Features section. Later on, once you've got your custom world on the map, submit the Praeda System as a Location. You can flesh out Hammer more there, or you can sub it as a separate Planet if you think it has enough points of interest to merit that.
      • This would mean removing all the Hammer info from Geographic Information, Location Information, Population, and Government and Economy sections. It can stay in the Major Exports section, that works fine.
    • If you don't care about having this on the Chaos Map, I can just move it over to Locations.

  • Damascus Station is not a planet, and should not be included in the Planet Name section. You can describe it under System Features, but it should not be a focus of this submission (unless you opt to move it over to Locations and make this into a System sub). It should not be described in sections such as Gravity or Climate. It already has its own submission, for one, and we can probably guess the climate aboard a space station.

  • Demonym: I'm confused as to how we get Praetorians out of the Praeda system. If this becomes a planet sub for Anvil, this should be changed to whatever you call someone who lives on Anvil (Anvilite? Anvili? Anvilian?)


  • Major Exports: Linking to a list of all canon metals is asking a bit much; no planet is going to have every metal listed on the Wiki. Same thing for the gases. Pick a few and keep it there. Although durasteel is an alloy, it's acceptable to say Durasteel Ore to represent many different industrial ores. Duranium could also be a good pick. For gases, tibana and argon are already strong picks. Please link all of those resources to the Wiki individually.
    • Rhydonium in canon is mined on a terrestrial world, and stated to be a non-gas element (it's unclear if it's originally solid or liquid) that resembles chrome and produces noxious fumes. How could this be mined on a gas giant?

  • Unexploited Resources: Please expand with some specifics. What kind of minerals exist in the outer belt? What kind of technology might be out there? This is an OOC record of the planet, so concrete info is more appropriate than vague plot hooks.

  • Major Locations: Per the template, please "Include an explanation on each" major location. A sentence or two will do.

  • Immigrated Species and Demographics: Mandalorians are a culture, not a species, so I would remove them from the list. It would help folks picture the setting if you provided rough percentages of the non-human species in Demographics, but it's not required.

  • Government: Unless the Elysium Empire owns the hex this planet is going in (which, based on the map, it would appear that it currently does not), it cannot claim to control this system / planet. This could be a golden story opportunity for your faction: tell us what came before the Elysium Empire as far as government, then make it yours in a Dominion, Populate, or Junction. Making this work may also require tweaks to the History section.

Please reach out with any questions or concerns.
 

Grand Shepherd Burtch

Retired old admiral
Grand Shepherd Burtch
Character Bio
The Mongrel The Mongrel

Ok so I worked this over pretty good. I decided that I want to have this turned into a system location sub, and it is ready for judgment. That way I can preserve the hyperlink that I made on the Damascus Station sub to this one.

I will make a planet sub for this later and link this system to it so that I can add it to the map.
 
Major Faction

The Mongrel

Mawite Legend
The Mongrel
Character Bio
Grand Shepherd Burtch Grand Shepherd Burtch

The switch to the new template and relevant changes look good, nice work. My one concern is this: the ores present on Anvil seem... rather excessive. Some of the most coveted planets in the galaxy are greedily desired because they have deposits of cortosis or beskar or phrik or songsteel. This planet has all of them at once. It also had Xonolite, which is noted as coming only from Mustafar, where the Jawenko lava beast (which presumably does not exist on Anvil) plays a role in its transition from solid to liquid.

Overall, the list of metals on Anvil reads like someone went down the list of metals on Wookieepedia, picked every single one with unique properties or military applications, and then put them on this one planet. The rare materials I listed above occur on only a handful of approved Chaos planets, and almost none have more than one of them. None at all have more than two. Let's cut down on this list. Pick one (or two at most) of the highly rare materials, and maybe 3 - 4 other ores.
 

Grand Shepherd Burtch

Retired old admiral
Grand Shepherd Burtch
Character Bio
The Mongrel The Mongrel

Yeah, I wasn’t holding my breath on that list, but I had to try lol. The word “Praeda” literally translates to “quarry” so I tried to make it as prominent in mineral extraction as possible. That being said, this new list looks much cleaner to read.

Is it reasonable to assume in RP that the common basic periodic table metals such as nickel, chrome, titanium, iron, copper, etc. can be found here too?

Also, this is ready for judgement again, and thank you!

Edit: I updated the Anvil planet sub as well with the new list.
 
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