Need feedback. Thanks.

[Zinai]

If you haven't checked out my character, you can find a hyperlink on my signature. If you haven't checked out my role plays, you can find them in he bottom of the character sheet.

How is my character? How is my writing? What can and must I improve on?

Thanks! I really appreciate you guys giving feedback.

 

[Gherron Dragovalor]

[member="Heol Wraith"]

Not too bad at all man I remember reading your bio yesterday, and I just now read up some of your roleplays, and you've got a nice, solid character going on here. I like the idea of a force user assassin. Makes me sad we won't be able to roleplay. Unless you're still here when I get back xp I look forward to it.

 

[Zinai]

Wait, what. He is force sensitive, but he's very weak with it, I dont think I would consider him a force user. Not really sure if I said he was assassin, lol..

You sure you got the right character man?

[member="Gherron Vael"]

 

[Gherron Dragovalor]

[member="Heol Wraith"]

I read one of your threads where it looked to me like you were tying to assassinate a noble

 

[Zinai]

Ooh okay. Right, the one with Arick.

[member="Gherron Vael"]

 

[Gherron Dragovalor]

Yup lol

[member="Heol Wraith"]

 

[Zinai]

[member="Eliza Lunelle"]
[member=Akio Diachi]
[member="Arick Serrus"]
[member="Zandra Tal'verda"]
[member="Eralam"]

Opinions? Suggestions?

 

[Eralam]

You write well enough. Posts seem to be short and concise, which is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. Some people write novels to describe what their character ate for breakfast, and that gets old. I think you'll be fine once you get a couple of duels under your belt. Once we get done with the training, we'll have a sparring match for real to see how you do.

[member="Heol Wraith"]