My regrets only make me stronger

[Onrai]

[member="Zandra Fenni"]

"Maybe you have a shard .of affection for him?" She raised an eyebrow. "I've known quite a few people who've experienced similar feelings. What you're describing is the aftermath of a one-night stand, with what sounds like a hint of emotional attachment." She paused, thinking for a moment before elaborating. "Had you known thi particular guy at any point previously? Through business? Faction affiliation? Maybe an old friend?"

 

[Zandra Tal'verda]

Emotional attachment? Affection? It sounded like nonsense, so Zandra took it as nonsense. There was nothing else for it. Zandra didn't believe in love, and almost nothing could convince her that she was feeling that way for anyone.

"Met 'im when i saved his life. we've been friends for years."

[member="Enigma"]

 

[Shalla Horizonis]

All in all still steaming about the whole situation. Anything just added to the the personality that was being put out there. Not the shy or even the happy nice personal that now called upon. "Oh yes, if only I could I could be my sweet lovely sister to inch of her life right now.," , giving him a sweet smile that only came into a low growl. As it seem to only flow into it being a bit demanding to the server to hurry with their drinks.

[member="Jessie Volt"]

 

[Serenna]

[member="Shalla Horizonis"] [member="Shiva Horizonis"]

Jessie looked at Shalla and gave a nod while he waited there, more curious about what she planned to do later on. He focused on keeping them together and ready to be protected. A bar could still be dangerous regardless of how they were going about it. "Make sure there is enough for us together"

 

[Shiva Horizonis]

Giving him a smack on the behind before giving out a smirking. "I sure can handle it staying before. " as he once again looked at the ones dancing. Smirking as she make herself hers get up from the play feeling her sister hand upon her shoulder. Only she brushed it off from her, to find herself out in the dance floor. Slowly as if forgotten how fun it was to dance again listen to the music.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqNcyFNMfLM[/youtube]

 

[Onrai]

[member="Zandra Fenni"]

She paused, thinking for a moment. Focusing for a moment... Something seemed... off. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but the woman, at this exact moment, seemed to emanate a familiar feeling, one Circe herself had experienced and later repressed. "I see..." Thinking partially about it, she stopped and moved in a bit closer, asking her next question quietly.

"Have you and this person ever been... more than friends?"

 

[Zandra Tal'verda]

Why was she being so quiet? Zandra was confused and a little... uneasy now.

"Err... you mean did we do the dirty?"
Zandra put on a awkward little smile. Most times, she wouldn't mind bragging about her sexual conquests, but this was a little different..

"Well, yeah. I mean, it's no big deal."

[member="Enigma"]

 

[Onrai]

[member="Zandra Fenni"]

"Well... Perhaps you doing that with him has caused some sort of emotional connection to form with him. It's something that happens sometimes with these sorts of things - I'd know, as I once experienced the same thing." She paused, sighing and thinking back to her own conquests, ranging from former Sith Emperors to smugglers. Some of whom she... missed.

"Or is it that there were aftereffects to your time together?"

 

[Zandra Tal'verda]

She didn't make sense. Zandra was more confused than ever.

"Aftereffects? Speak Basic," she sighed, swirling the drink in the cup, "I dunno what you mean."

[member="Enigma"]

 

[Onrai]

[member="Zandra Fenni"]

She sighed. How could she have forgotten about the aftereffects of her time with Dranok? Well, time to pop the question, she supposed.

"Well, there's no other way I can put this... after you and him did it, did you take a test?"

 

[Zandra Tal'verda]

Zandra blinked, more confused than ever. Something was wrong here, and this odd woman was just dancing around something. Why couldn't she just be plain and straight with her?

"Test? Like a history test? Cuz I don't think I'd do well..."

[member="Enigma"]

 

[Onrai]

[member="Zandra Fenni"]

"I meant a pregnancy test. I assume you and him used protection of some sort, but the Force does have a nasty way of reminding you that such things aren't a hundred percent effective. I would know." She sighed, not wanting to think about what had happened.

"If you did, well... what did it say?"

 

[Zandra Tal'verda]

Zandra had chosen to take a sip, just at the exact moment the word 'pregnancy' was uttered. There was a brilliant spray of bright blue all over the table, in the air, and on the back of the guy in the table in front of her. He didn't seem to notice, thankfully.

"Pregnan- No. I can't be! There's no way."

But the more she thought about it... well, they had both been incredibly drunk. It was possible that she'd completely forgotten to use protection. It was possible that... No. More than possible. She thought back. How long ago had it been? And she'd missed her cycle, but that was hardly unusual. She missed them frequently. But if it was true...

"...I have to go," she groaned, rising from her chair at once, eyeing the bright blue liquid with something close to fear.

[member="Enigma"]

 

[Onrai]

Circe paused, eying the Echani over as she stood up as well. "I'm a licensed medical practicioner. Have my own clinic on Coruscant, but I do bring some things with me. If you really feel that you want to know for sure, I have a simple test that, with over ninety-nine percent certainty, can give you the solidly truthful answer." Circe moved and pulled out her datapad, looking over whether she had the equipment of said test. "Portable centrifuge, vial... Yep. I have what's needed. Would you be okay with doing this?"

She merely wanted to help the woman out. Just because she was a Sith Lord didn't mean she couldn't help a woman in a similarly sticky situation to one she herself had been in.

 

[Zandra Tal'verda]

Zandra paused for just a moment, but not for long. Even if she was interested, she didn't want to talk about it here. She kept moving, out the back door, into a dark alley, lined with trash and discarded music posters. There, she leaned against the cold brick, gently hit her head against the wall, and fished through her oversized leather jacket for a pack of cigarras and a lighter. Yes. She was going to need a smoke. One more, before swearing it off, assuming it was true.
And she didn't want to know. She wanted to keep partying. Keep drinking. Keep smoking. Keep going to Calico's to hang out. Wake up at twilight. Gamble. Be irresponsible. Carefree.

And if it was true, would it be right to just... get rid of it? She always thought she would if it ever happened on accident, but that was always because she had the assumption that she would have no clue who the Father was.
This time, she knew. This time there wasn't a doubt.

But it was too soon to spring it on Cal like that. It wasn't fair to him. He had enough to deal with as it was, right? He didn't need some street rat bugging him for child support.
...But didn't he have a right to know?

[member="Enigma"]

 

[Onrai]

"The aftershock." Circe paused, some distance away from Zandra, but still well within visual range. "I'm guessing from how quickly you're looking for a light that you've been a hedonist for some time. Similar to how I was, before it happened to me." Stepping over to the Echani, whose white hair and fair albeit pale skin stood out against the dark background of the alleyway, she placed her hands on her hips. "You have to face it eventually... It's the moment in every hedonist's life where they have to take up responsibility - no more wild partying, no more drinking and smoking and fething around. I went through it, and it didn't end up well for me. The least I can do is make sure that you don't end up in a similar situation."

Pausing, stepping closer to Zandra, she placed a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Let's make sure. I could be wrong, and this could be nothing."

[member="Zandra Fenni"]

 

[Zandra Tal'verda]

Zandra's shaking hands lit the end of the cigarra and she took a deep drag off it. As the woman spoke, she watched the smoke lift into the cold night air, vanishing amongst the neon colored lights. Could she ever give this up? Could she stop and be something else?

"Shut up. I don' wanna hear it," Zandra snapped, letting a long stream of smoke billow out between her pale, cracked lips, "Yer givin' me a head ache."

She looked up, flicking ash off the end of the cigarra.

"I can't be a mom. I can't even be a good daughter."

[member="Enigma"]

 

[Onrai]

[member="Zandra Fenni"]

"You're not the only one." Circe sighed, moving to stand next to the Echani. I ran away from home when I wasn't even a teenager. Worst mistake of my life. My mother would probably break down in tears if she heard about some of the things I'd experienced, not to mention did of my own volition. I've done many horrible things... but when it came to starting a family, I grew out of being a hedonist and into being a mother. And you will too." Considering the circumstances, Circe felt only sympathy for Zandra.

"And I want to help you make sure that your path doesn't follow mine."

 

[Zandra Tal'verda]

The 'H' word this woman kept using made Zandra want to punch her. She was trying to make her feel guilty? Zandra had just about enough of that. And nobody had told her to do anything. She wasn;t crying for attention. She wasn't mad at the world. She didn't hate people. She was just a girl trying to have a good time in this Galaxy. Was that a thing to really be so ashamed of.

"Buzz off," Zandra snapped again, "You ain't some saint, you know. An' I ain't your little project. You don' know nothin' about me, an' you got no right judgin'. You can't save me, because I don't need or want savin'."

She turned her face away from the woman, putting the Cigarra in her mouth and taking a long drag.
If Calico was here, he'd make her shut up, she told herself, even if she was only making it up, He'd tell her to go away. He'd tell her she's wrong about me. He'd...

[member="Enigma"]

 

[Fasalin]

[member="Enigma"]
[member="Zandra Fenni"]


Assadar tried to sit in peace, but the shadow kept growing on his mind, and the longer he sat there, the more sure he became that enemies were about. But also...friends, too.

He tried to concentrate his senses, to feel the flow of the force through the different people in the bar. Yes, he decided, there were Jedi here. But also...also Sith. All of a sudden, a sense of urgency filled Assadar's mind. Could he leave now? In such a small cantina it would be noticed. Would the Jedi want a fight? If they could sense he was Sith, perhaps they would consider him to be their ticket off the planet. If he could sense them, they could likely sense him, too. He needed to gain control of the situation. If he had a potential ally here, he needed to make contact. But were the Sith his allies? Granted, he was Sith. He had been Sith for years. But he didn't feel Sith. Granted, not all of them were bad, but most...

[DELETED THE REST]