Learning to Breathe Again

[Jairdain]

It had been several months since she had left Veradune and her recovery behind. In those months Jairdain had gone through a series of changes and now had more abilities. These skills were totally new and relatively unexpected by her and she needed to learn control of them

Knowing she wanted to do this in a place where it wasn't likely to cause harm to anybody, she reached out to Vulpesen. Sending him a message and requesting transportation to his world, he answered it would be provided and now here she was.

The blind master exited the ship and waited for her friend to escort her to where she needed to be.

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

Vulpesen stood calmly his hands clasped in front of himself as he watched the ship land on the Veran docking bay. As the loading bay opened with a hiss, he opened his arms in greeting. "Good to see you Master Jairdain. How've you been?" Last he had seen the woman, she had been brought to the capitol to recover from a sith attack on Coruscant. Since then, she had been allowed the com system for pick up to his planet, but for security reasons, had not been allowed coordinates of his home. Still, upon reaching the surface, she was as free as she wished to be.
[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Having spent around a month here previously, Jairdain had been exposed to many things. She knew if there was any place in this galaxy where she could safely learn how to control her new found abilities it would be here.

She exited the ship and gave Vulpesen a small nod of respect and as a friend.

"I have been well, Valde."

He was being proper so s​he returned the favor and in front of any of his advisors that might be present, it would show she knew what he was.

"Have you recovered as well?"

Pleasantries needed to b​e done before business could be attended to and that was fine with her. Jairdain was in no real hurry right now.

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

Hearing her concern for him, Vulpesen's smile only broadened and he offered her an affirmative nod. "Very well. Not hard to make a full recovery when every doc on the planet is knocking on your door three times a day. Honestly, the hardest part of it was getting some sleep." Moving to Jairdain's side, the Valde then turned and started to the main courtyard of his castle. "So, what brought you to Veradune this time? I recall something about training in the message ya sent me."


[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Happy his recovery had gone as well as hers, Jairdain walked next to him as he lead her inside. She knew the rules here and hoped that freedom given would not be abused or wasted by her.

Vulps asked what had brought her here and mentioned training. Chewing on her lip for a moment, she stopped walking.

"Try to make me mad or upset. I know it sounds odd, but please try."

Right now, she had no control on her new abilities. It wasn't so much training that brought her, but the need to control them.

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

His stride halted in an instant and Vulpesen turned to face her, his head cocked to the side. "Are you sure about that?" The note of concern in his voice came at the thought of his own skills. His life was war, and if there was one thing he had learned to do, it was to start a fight. He'd pushed more than a few buttons in is years, while he was willing to do as the grand master asked, he didn't want to risk pushing her over the edge with what words he might employ for his goal.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Concern or not, Jairdain nodded before speaking.

"I recently went through a ceremony and it granted me new skills. Right now I have no control over there. You see I can control nature once I learn how to use the abilities properly. Without control, these powers go haywire and especially when I'm upset. Clouds, storms, lightning...All come crashing down. Please."

Maybe there was a touch of pleading in her voice when she finished and she could sense Vulps was wary of doing as she asked, but it needed to be done.

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

Vulpesen, usually an amalgamation of light and dark, had always shown a force of light to [member="Jairdain"]. But as he opened his mouth, his body would instantly change in her view, bursting out in black shadow into a void of pure black, sickening, rageful, darkness."Might have nothing to do with gaining control. You could just be trying to wrangle powers beyond your comprehension. Hell, I did end up rescuing you didn't I? A jedi temple, a bastion of light and even swaddled in all its power you were too weak to defend it. You and everyone let it fall and tumble into darkness for no other reason than you were too weak. Too insignificant to do a damned thing." While he started calmly, with each word, his voice began to drip venom until it was pouring out freely with accusation. "I finished my mission. Even did something extra! But what did you do? inconvenience the men who put you down like dogs?"

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

If there was one thing Jairdain understood is that everybody had light and dark in them, but what Vulps did was shock her. It didn't make her mad at first, but his words did the trick.

Around them, specifically her, a small storm appeared. Out of nowhere. Soon the woman was soaked and dripping wet from the rain.

"I do not comprehend this, you are right about that, Valde. This is why I am here. Before I can comprehend, I must learn control."

She did not intentionally strike out at him with her own already known abilities. This new one with the weather though did. Lightning flashed and though the storm was not large enough to hurt him, he might feel the shock of it.

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

"Control it? Seems you're doing about as good a job as a Gizka might have, wrangling a rancor." His words were cold and emotionless despite their venom, the remnants of a man long dead and forgotten. Darth Tsolan had never been a very expressive personality. As a bolt of energy shot towards him, Vulpesen simply absorbed it into his palm, protecting himself, even from the small inconvenience as he continued his verbal attack. It was a game almost, to upset [member="Jairdain"] until she learned to control herself, while also wrestling with his former life. Every hateful, angry, and evil thought was on display at this moment, laid bare for all the world to see until it smothered out the light that Vulpesen usually showed.

 

[Jairdain]

He was doing as she requested and slowly attempting to make her learn control. However, it wasn't control of herself she needed but this ability she had inherited. It was tied to her emotions and how she felt. When she was upset, the weather around her would change. So as he assaulted her verbally, she gulped down what anger and irritation she had and the storm slightly subsided.

"You got me there, control is difficult. My own emotions are tied to this. No matter how well I control them, this skill amplifies them through the Force and causes...this."

Jairdain showed n​o fear to Vulps in this exchange which probably helped with the test. If she had fear, she didn't know how it would effect the storm. Now it was more of a simple rainfall and no longer a tiny thunderstorm.

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

"I controlled my emotions for two years. I became darkness so that the sith wouldn't know me from another. I walked the line of darkness day and night without faltering! And here you are... struggling like a drowning babe because you can't get a grip for thirty seconds." In battle, there was no respite. The enemy was relentless. You fought and you fought until you won or died. Why should training be any different? He intended to push her to the edge, challenge her until she broke or overcame. In truth, he was impressed by her progress so far, though he refused to let an ounce of that show through the facade of shadow he had risen up.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

And his words again brought about the lightning and thunder from the air around them. It was nice learning this information from Vulps though and she filed away the personal facts he told her for the future. Suddenly this situation became amusing to Jairdain and she started laughing. It was going to take longer than just this encounter for her to fully learn the control she needed, but this was a start.

When the laugh happened, it was unexpected even by her, but the little pack of weather cleared up around her. If there was a way to bring sunlight in, then that would have been surrounding her. As it was, that wasn't how this skill worked exactly. Right now all she could do was call on storms. Eventually as she mastered this new ability control of weather aspects would happen.

"This is going to take me a bit of practice."
​
[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

For several more moments, Vulpesen watched as she attempted to calm the storms around here, though a few did pop up with his most recent bout of insults. Though, as quickly as the resurgence came, he saw her mood change, the laughter beginning to calm the storms. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, the Valde dispersed the darkness that enveloped him, casting it away like smoke as he focused on reading [member="Jairdain"]'s presence in the force. For what moments she had left of this ability, he wanted to see how it worked, to understand just how the force flowed around her to create the effect. Besides, with her newfound amusement, perhaps it was time to relax, lest his words lose all future effects. "Practice and understanding. You'll need to figure out why it's linked to your emotions like it is."

 

[Jairdain]

This wasn't a skill he would be able to learn no matter how much he attempted to. Jairdain had gone through the Netherworld and an adoption ceremony to become part of the Kashi. A ritual that gave her a far greater connection to the Force itself.

It also wasn't her trying to calm the storms but at the moment they relied solely on her emotions. The surface ones. Anything deeper than the surface she kept a tight lock and key on. She wouldn't be able to control this fully until she had total control of even her surface emotions.

"That's easy to answer."

She went on to tell him ​what happened to her.

[member="Vulpesen"]

 

[Vulpesen]

Listening to her story, Vulpesen went to find himself a place to sit. There was only so much you could do to upset a person at one time, and he felt as though he had hit that limit. Certainly there were other means he could sue to bring about some level of emotional distress, however such tactics could very well prove to have adverse side effects... such as Jair hating him for the rest of her life, or leaving Veradune with some debilitating injury. He figured it was best if they stopped while they were ahead. "If that's the link, then perhaps you should attempt to bring up those feelings when you can, and study how they affect you in the force. It might prove a little difficult, but I'm sure you could figure it out in time."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

There was one aspect of Jairdain people might not know. She couldn't hate. There was not one person in her life currently or her past that the woman could say she truly hated. So that might be a concern of his, he did not need to worry about it. Maybe it was a flaw, but it was also a strength and not something she wanted to change.

"How does one just bring up emotions? As I go through my memories, I can remember how I felt, but it doesn't affect me now. So the weather around me does not change. So far it is only what I am currently feeling that changes things."

Tipping her head in his general direction, she took a seat nearby and gained a thoughtful look.

"Thank you by the way. I figured coming here would be the safest place for me. Since I'm not exactly sure what might happen."

 

[Vulpesen]

"Any time, Jair. And as unhealthy as it might sound, dwell on those thoughts. Often when people look at the past, they look at it as if it were a holofilm, detached. As if they were merely characters in a story. Remember not just that it happened, but that it happened to you. Don't just remember the emotions, remember the injustices, remember what caused you to feel that way. Let it, just for a moment, be real again." As he thought about it, Vulpesen realized that the dark cloak was a trick that he had never really disclosed to another. Sure he had displayed it before, but never had it been broken down and explained. "I bear the jedi no ill will. But in hiding with the sith, I remembered all the jealousy and spite I felt. Every injustice their corrupt oder did me. And every lost opportunity and wasted year under their banner. Such emotions aren't caused by nothing. They grow from the seeds sown by injustice that is done to you."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

For the first time in a very long time, Jairdain was truly surprised by what she heard. It was quite unexpected, but his suggestions were very true. Her life had not been an easy one. Not as hard as some people's, but for her it had been filled with times of trial since the age of 15 with a few short periods of peace and maybe happiness.

Right now she was at a cusp of, a small interlude before her world would be shattered once again.

Nodding at his words, she would remember and feel again her past. The sorrow and loss she had felt when her people and world were destroyed. At being captured by those cultists and the fear she had. After that, it was Krest and the confusing time she had with the sith. After that it was clear sailing and that lead her to now.

Coming out of her memories, she let out a sigh and shivered. Covered in snow, she was quite damp and still no further along in controlling this skill.

"Practice..."

Brushing her hair and shoulders off, she gave her attention to Vulps in the Force.

"Speaking of injustice...You should reconsider allowing Alex here to see your children."

 

[Vulpesen]

"Don't focus so much on controlling your anger so much as controlling their effects. It's a difficult thing to split your attention in this way, but it can be done. When you feel those emotions, watch yourself, feel the force and feel how it reacts and bends around your emotions. Then when you are calm, attempt to bend it back in the same way." Vulpesen clasped his fingers calmly in front of himself, allowing Jairdain to practice a bit. Then, as she spoke of his own injustices, his brows furrowed a bit. "Alexandra and I have already had this talk... and I'm afraid you might be right. But tis no easy thing. She was banished from Veradune. Politics are now involved, and while I can eventually allow her to be here, it will take time to implement, at least, if I don't want to risk losing any large amounts of favor within the council. And as much as I've done for them, it is still possible that they could remove me from office."

[member="Jairdain"]