Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved Species Kullasexriak

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Zak Dymo

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Kami Meran Kami Meran

I'll be reviewing this for you. I note that there has not been any substantive changes, but I do want to take a moment to make a few recommendations.

1. Relevant Links.

  • Links: na

You reference this as a creation of the Yuuzhan Vong. As those are something from Legends canon, they may be unfamiliar to someone who comes to our board with only familiarity with the movies or current Disney canon. As such, I'd recommend that you include Yuuzhan Vong and/or Biot here as a point of reference for what you're building upon with the submission.

2. Origins

  • Origins: Vongform mutation

The statement here (Vongform mutation) isn't really what is being asked here. If you refer to the template, the question is where are they from? This can be a planet (canon or Chaos canon sub), a company's lab, a region of space, extra-galactic, etc. Provide a link if applicable.

Is there a planet or region of space where the mutation first appeared?

3. Grammatical and structural items.

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
A semi Vongformed former rodent, the Kullasexriak is seen as both a nuance and a threat they are often hounded to death and killed on site.
The Vong unintentionally created the Kullasexriak as it was originally a food source similar to a chicken and a form of waste management with it acting as a carrion eater untill it cross bread with an as yet unknown second species.
After attempts to exterminate the species proved fruitless it has simply become an ugly common site.

There are a number of word usage, spelling, and grammatical errors throughout the submission. The snippet above is one example, with the yellow highlights being grammatical corrections while the red highlights are word usage. For example, I believe you meant nuisance instead of nuance.

I'd recommend picking through it just one last time with an eye toward those. If you need any help, please just let me. :)
 
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