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NPC Review James Greg

XxkenykenxX

Ken Skywalker | The Old Skywalker
Writer
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent:To make an NPC companion for Ken Skywalker, To make a Rebel Shooter and Sniper on an army and squad.
  • ​Image Credit:None
  • Role:Ken Skywalker's NPC companion and Rebel Shooter/Sniper
  • Links:Alliance Remnant, The First Order, Jakku
PHYSICAL INFORMATION
SOCIAL INFORMATION
  • Name:Alliance Remnant Commander James Greg
  • Loyalties: Ken Skywalker
  • Faction:Alliance Remnant
  • Wealth:Normal
  • Notable Possessions:VT-DB Datapad
  • Skills:pilot, Sniper and Shooter
  • Personality:Friendly, Calm, Smart, Brave and Loyal
  • Habits and Traits:Hates Dark Side, Likes the Jedi, and Wants to defeat the Dark Side once and for all.
COMBAT INFORMATION
Strengths:
  • Good Aim
  • Good Melee with anything
  • Can throw Efficiently
  • Good at Hacking
Weaknesses:
  • Lets guard down when focusing on something
  • Cant Dodge Many Attacks
HISTORICAL INFORMATION
He is a Rebel and hates the dark side from the age of 12.
He was held hostage by the The First Order on Jakku but saved by a small group of Jedi and a large army of Rebels.
His family was working with the rebels as Pilots but died fighting the Imperial Fighters.
He began training as a rebel sniper and rebel shooter.
He Perfected his training and he trained as a rebel Pilot and began his first mission on Jakku.
They fought The First Order until they were vanquished on their missions.
He was ranked Commander after he defeated all the imperial fighters by only using a HBS-01 Heavy Blaster Pistol and willingly saved a rebel's X-Wing by pushing his own X-Wing to the rebel's X-Wing a flaming Imperial Fighter.
 
Rebel Without A Cookie
Writer
[member="XxkenykenxX"]

I like the thematic elements that you present in this submission. It plays off of a very classic Star Wars archetype that is as timeless as the franchise itself. That said, I do have just a few comments that I think will help to clarify your concept for your reader.

1. Links

XxkenykenxX said:
  • Links:[member='XxkenykenxX']
As our template, you'll want to use a hyperlink here, rather than @mention to tag yourself. Based on the historical information, I would suggest adding Alliance Remnant, The First Order and Jakku as well.

2. Species (Link)

XxkenykenxX said:
  • Species:Human
As per our template, please link Human here.

3. Appearance (Links)
XxkenykenxX said:
  • Combat Clothing:Galactic Alliance Trooper Armor and Galactic Alliance Scout Armor
This seems rather specific, so I'll ask does this a reference to a specific armor submission? Is there a link that you could include here to clarify your intent for what the qualities of these armors are?

4. Loyalties (Links)

XxkenykenxX said:
  • Loyalties:Ken Skywalker
  • Faction:Alliance Remnant
Please provide links for Ken Skywalker and Alliance Remnant here.

6. Notable Possessions / Weapon of Choice

XxkenykenxX said:
  • Notable Possessions:VT-D8 Datapad
XxkenykenxX said:
  • Weapon of Choice:BlasTech DLT-29 Heavy Blaster Rifle, BlasTech DLT-29 Heavy Blaster Rifle, and BlasTech A320 Blaster Rifle.
As per our template, please describe or link any notable possessions. Is there a Wookieepedia article or Factory submission that you could link for those items? Are they intended to be modern versions of canon technology? You seem to be referring to specific weapons, so please either link to what you are referencing or add additional language to describe the item in question in some more detail.

In the alternative, if these are intended to be generic examples of their type, just list 'datapad' or 'heavy blaster rifle'.

Those are my comments. Please tag me when you have had an opportunity to complete your edits.
 
Rebel Without A Cookie
Writer
[member="XxkenykenxX"]

Let me see if I can be of help. How you interact with the board will vary, depending on if you are using the "full version" (regular website) or the mobile version of the site (such as on a smartphone browser). My reply will address the full version of the site, which provides 3 ways of linking something in a post.

Option 1: The WYSIWYG Menu Function

When you click the EDIT button at the bottom right corner of your post, a page similar to the below will come up.


From the menu bar at the top, you'll want to identify the following button


This button allows you to insert a hyperlink into your post as follows:

Step 1: Highlight text in your post
Step 2: Click the hyperlink button
Step 3: Type or paste the link in the menu box that appears
Step 4: Click okay.

You should now see underlined text indicating a hyperlink, such as this.


Option 2: Include the full link in your post

You don't have to use in-line text links. You can simply type or paste the link into your post and the board will automatically change it to be a link. For example: Zardu Hasselfrau is a human ( https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Human )


Option 3: BB Code

You can type the following code to produce a hyperlink as in-line text.

Human

Bonus Option: The Copy Pasta

My reply has several links for your use. If you copy the linked text in my reply and then paste it into your post, the link will be included in your post when you edit.

Please let me know if you have any further questions that I can be of assistance with.
 
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