Private In Restless Dreams...

[Auraya Irath-Ur]

She had been trying.​

​

Force, had she been trying.​

​

Her days as of late had been spent almost entirely in some form of training. She took to as many classes as she could possibly fit, within the schedule they were offered, and her evenings were filled with endless reams of knowledge collected from the Archives and the Holo-net, or self-training which lasted long into the night.​

​

If not for her focus, the intensity behind her desire to grow, Raya might have burnt herself out. Some days she wondered if she had not already done that. She had found herself held together with caf, a drink she despised yet seemingly could not live without, and whatever bits of food she could snatch from the mess hall between classes. Sleep was a fleeting thing, in fact just the other day she had caught herself falling asleep during one of her three Room of a Thousand Fountains meditation visits. For shame.​

​

She simply could not help herself. Any time she stopped and allowed herself time to think of anything else she could see them. The pulp against the wall, the screams as men ran from and through the flames. The scent of singed hair and flesh which melted from bone. The mere thought of it made her gag, and kept her up at night. No, she would keep herself busy, keep herself focused, and by the time her head hit her pillow she'd be so exhausted she'd be right to sleep.​

​

A dark, dreamless sleep.​

​

Her understanding of Shii-Cho had grown as a result. Heck, even her application had improved. She had not yet tried to train it alongside another, did not wish to see it used against her fellow man, but the droids had been helpful to say the least and the sequences she practiced through the dead of night were second nature to her now. Methodical, precise. But not necessarily practical, she knew. One could not be stiff and clinical in true application, after all.​

​

Today was no different, though momentous in its own way. It was to be the start of her Padawanship; Zaavik was recovered, it was time to begin.​

​

She had arrived at the training room an hour ahead of their appointed time, shed her jacket and shoes and took up a bokkan. Eyes closed she walked through the motions, took the ready stance, targeted zones, exhibited many of the Marks of Contact, it was second nature to her now. And an intensity lay behind each stroke. In such a state she had no need for timekeeping, and thus an hour drifted on into more and minutes were added to the time she had provided herself with.​

​

Again, she told herself, determined that she would never again repeat the mistakes of Jakku, Again!​

​

Zaavik Perl ​

 

[Zaavik Perl]

The infirmary finally cut him loose. He certainly didn't feel recovered, the slice up his back hadn't ceased screaming a dogged pain into his synapses. Regardless, he wasn't going to let it slow him down. Enough time had been wasted laying around already. Zaavik pushed defiantly through the soreness, picking himself up and carrying himself to the Temple, shoving physical anguish to the wayside of his consciousness.

To his surprise, Auraya was already present. His arrival had been silent, befitting of a Shadow. Unnoticed, he'd observe for a handful of drawn-out moments. Form, method, execution, each watched with an advisory, scrutinous eye. Zaavik was a far cry from a Jedi Master, but the experience gap between them was great enough that even he could pick her performance apart.

"Not bad," he began, announcing his presence. It was a compliment to soften the criticisms. "You need to pick your elbows up more, though. Your shoulders too. You want to be limber but not totally flaccid." The distinct screech of ignited lightsaber sounded off, heralding an emerald plasmatic blade. "Like this," he declared before demonstrating. Pain rippled up his spine, but he did not allow it to hinder him. The strokes were fluid, maintaining a lethality that melded with effortless leisure

It was almost elegant.

A flourish closed out the brief demonstration. Viridesence retracted with a wavering hiss. A quick motion clipped the saber back onto his belt coupling. "You know, a good night's rest goes a long way," he mentioned knowingly. "Regularly, I mean," he added.

Zaavik's regard shifted away suddenly, suddenly aware of his advisory tone. I'm starting to sound like Allyson, he thought. Wasn't that the point? She was his learner, wasn't that his job? A begrudging sigh masked his embarrassment. Getting into the mentor persona so quickly shook him a little. He was always so lax, what was going on? Maybe it was some hidden sense of duty taking over.

A quick, small shake of his head snapped him out of internal self-complaining. "Go on," he said, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. His tone had suddenly taken a left turn to match it. "Marks of Contact, Strike Zones, let's see it."

Auraya Irath-Ur ​

 

[Auraya Irath-Ur]

She had not noticed his arrival.​

​

He was eerily good at remaining unseen, she had come to realize. He could have been anywhere at any given moment, and her senses would not pick up on it until precisely when he wished her to. That was how it felt, at least.​

​

Words punctuated that revelation, and she jumped slightly in response. It was a weird feeling in truth, to be caught off guard when the Force tried so hard to make sure potential danger was foreshadowed. Like she had been disconnected from her senses, if only for a little while.​

​

She might have said something, made a hasty apology for not noticing him or for starting early, if he had not immediately taken the time to turn it into a teachable moment. Raya turned to face him, listening intently as he gave instruction and provided a visual demonstration. In response she tried to pick up where she had left off, to mimic what he had shown, yet all that time spent just slightly off kilter came back to bite her in the butt.​

​

To do it the way he expected felt alien, her joints felt like they were in a forced position and the motions no longer came to her naturally. She tried to adjust, dismiss the discomfort, before ultimately heaving a heavy sigh and lowering her saber arm in frustration.​

​

With a snap-hiss she disignited her blade.​

​

The very real desire to turn heel and run from the room coiled into each and every necessary muscle. It had all been for naught; it certainly felt like it had been for naught. She was not one to give up, she soldiered on through thick and thin, but how much fight did she even have left in her?​

​

Another sigh. This time those same muscles relaxed. Irritation nagged at the corners of her mind, heightened by the caffeination coursing through her veins. As though reading her mind his next words addressed precisely that.​

​

"I... I do sleep, Master," she lied, not so smooth as the thought had been in her head. "Some..."​

​

A change in his demeanor, however fleeting, caught her attention. It was almost as though he actually cared, as though he wasn't just saying it because he had to. But in the next breath his tone was once again dismissive, as she had come to expect it to be.​

​

In so frazzled a state, it was becoming harder and harder not to take such personally. Because what if it was her that caused it? For once that thought remained, festering away as she ignited her blade once more and centered herself back into a Shii-Cho appropriate stance.​

​

Marks of Contact. Zones. Things she had been working on endlessly since Jakku. Yet under the eyes of another they felt so foreign to her. She shook her head, eyes lingering briefly upon the doorway before hardening in resolve.​

​

Marks of Contact. Okay. With a wave of her hand one of the droids she'd become so accustomed to training with whirred into action, stomping forward on two feet and clutching a bokkan of its own within its grasp.​

​

Sun Djem she told herself, as she directed her blade toward the hilt of her opponents. Her form was not so precise as he had tried to correct it to, but it was better than it had been. She was trying to adjust to the change, even if it made her feel clunky. Shiim, as she brought the very tip of the blade into zone 2 and marked a small length of the droids outer arm...​

​

She did not look at Zaavik as she went through the motions. A strike that would remove its hand, had the weapon been true, then arm... On and on through the various marks, until they neared the final few and she faltered. Sai Cha, Sai Tok, Mou Kei. She could execute the former two with ease, they were after all just a simple slash, the latter passably, but when it came time to do so the droid before her no longer looked like a droid to her.​

​

And the thought of what either would do in reality held her firmly in place.​

​

Zaavik Perl ​

 

[Zaavik Perl]

Zaavik winced as he observed her technique. It wasn't the worst, far from it, but she should have been far beyond initiate mistakes. Shii-Cho should have been old news for a Padawan, yet she was struggling. Her lack of grasp on these things probably explained why the information given to him was so sparse. They knew he would object, so why would they give him more reason to be more adamant about his reservations? He sighed, moving forward with loud taps of boots on tile. He wasn't going to give up on Auraya, just as others didn't give up on him.

"You're thinking too hard," he asserted. A wave of his hand sent the droid away a few steps. "I know it sounds cheesy, but you need to feel more than think. Remaining conscious of your stance and position is one thing, but focus less on what you should be doing, and more on how it feels." He waved his hand again. A different droid stepped up and took a stance in front of him. Emerald blade shot forth from the hilt once again, and Zaavik took the basic Form I stance along with it.

The Knight closed his eyes. "Remember how you should move, but don't think any further than that. When you finally move, just move, don't catch yourself up in conscious micromanaging of every muscle. It's all about intent, Raya. Your body is yours, it will follow your command. Like so-" Zaavik began a sudden flurry of strikes. With eyes still shut, he went through all six points of contact. Despite the speed, there was a fluid grace to strikes and transitions between. As soon as plasma and metal flashed with contact, he pulled back to the next one without following through a full strike. Black and orange scorch marks left as indicators of perfect contact. Finally, he brought the saber up from point six, the left leg, and executed sun djem.

The mock-saber in the droid's hands sundered in two. Loose end clattered against the ground and rolled slowly to stop at the tips of Auraya's feet. Zaavik exhaled, returning slowly to the beginning stance before deactivating his blade once more. "I'm not just showing off, either. It's easier than it looks, once you get the hang of it." He moved forward, pulling something out of pocket as he stalked around her left side. "Hold still," he insisted before slipping something over her eyes.

Fabric played a muffled hiss as he pulled the blindfold tight. "Your eyes are a tool, not a guide. They should assist, not lead. It's easy to let what you see overshadow what you feel." He waved the droid forward. As it took a position in front of Auraya, he began to spin her around like a child before a piñata. As he released, he grimaced slightly and took a few steps back. "Alright, find the target, go again."

Auraya Irath-Ur ​

 

[Auraya Irath-Ur]

He was... oddly patient with her.​

​

It had always been a mixed bag, that first time a new Master truly came to see what she was made of. Stood before her without distractions and really watched. Truth be told there were times when their reactions, or the way they stared and tutted, had been enough to be off putting. Had made her nerves skyrocket and forced some great calamity to befall her already poor form.​

​

But Zaavik simply gave clear and concise criticism, the kind meant to actually help as opposed to berate. Through it she felt the guard she'd put up since he'd arrived begin to slip away, the agitation and frustration too began to splinter. She simply listened and watched, and pushed thoughts of Jakku from her mind. Her limbs seemed to lighten, her head lifted some, and the resolve in her gaze seemed to soften more toward determination.​

​

She could do this.​

​

And not just to prove she could. Not for fear of disappointing him. Because as much as he might have cringed at her form, he didn't seem to be holding it against her. He wasn't glancing to the door or the clock hoping that their session would soon end. No, for the first time since coming to Coruscant, arguably before even then, Raya felt a renewed sense of worth.​

​

"Okay," she breathed, and this time her tone held no edge, just the subtlest sign of eagerness. A renewed vigor. "Okay, let's do this..."​

​

Blindfold on, Raya was left with just her other senses. More than that, in truth, as to compensate she delved into the Force and allowed it to blossom outward around her. Without visual distractions it was easier to call upon it, to feel the vibrations on the air, the sturdy floor beneath her feet and the bastion of the walls around them. Her remaining senses pricked with delight, finally permitted to shine unhindered.​

​

Once more she ignited her lightsaber. That snap-hiss sounded different now, she felt it reverberate down the length of the hilt, felt it flow up her arm and into her core, resonating with the soft hum it continued to emanate even after.​

​

She span around and around as Zaavik sought to disorient her, dizzying until she came to a stop. Her head swayed slightly, before she took a slow breath and focused. Truly focused. Beyond herself, on the room at large, grounding herself in place and feeling what lay around her. Through it, and her remaining senses, she began to paint a picture of the room around them. The doorway was at her back, Zaavik stood off to one side - his presence shone like nothing else in the room - and...​

​

And there.​

​

There it was. Her first step was somewhat uneasy, slipping across the floor without lifting for fear that she might lose all sense of direction. But after that her confidence grew in steady, measured steps. She whetted her lips, formerly dried under the strain of so much stimuli, and let go.​

​

Her blade danced forth, though she paid no heed to how it came to be; she focused on the act, allowing it to flow through the air in order to connect with her target. Well, it certainly struck something.​

​

And Raya could only hope that it was the droid. After all, it had been its weapon hand she'd been aiming for.​

​

Zaavik Perl ​

 

[Zaavik Perl]

A grin crept across Zaavik's face as the training saber cracked into the droid's hand. "There you go," he encouraged. Suddenly, he was upon her. Without notice, he began to spin her around once again. A quick gesture beckoned the droid to change position, circling around the left. "This time," he began, still spinning her by the shoulders. "Go through all six marks of contact. You can find the droid, now let's see how well you can visualize it. Remember, you don't need your eyes. If you can get used to not relying on them, it'll be easier to resign them to aiding rather than dictating."

His hands gripped suddenly to halt the oscillation. Both extremities retreated with an uncomfortable eagerness that formed a shudder once he'd let go. Even necessary contact wasn't quite agreeable. Either hand brushed on his jacket as he shoved the subtle lapse in composure away. Hopefully, that'd been enough spinning to at least momentarily shatter her spatial awareness. More time before he had to do it again, that way. Retreating footsteps were silent, even to ears unimpeded by the eye. Masking his path of movement to further throw her off what orientation she tried to retain while in a forced spiral.

"Alright," his voice called out. Acoustics in the training chamber placing him somewhere vaguely behind her. "Again!"

Auraya Irath-Ur ​

 

[Auraya Irath-Ur]

Though her eyes were shrouded beneath the folds of fabric, and thus remained unseeing, she could not help but blink a couple of times all the same as Zaavik confirmed that her strike had been true.​

​

Had it always been this simple a fix? Was relinquishing a little bit of control really the answer? Here she had thought that it was a lack of self-control that had led to her ineptitude. That if she only pushed herself harder, made herself live and breathe and think every miniscule step and detail, she'd get it. Because she had to, right? Hard work, patience, dedication, those things were rewarded in time.​

​

It was as though her whole world had been turned upside down. And as daunting as that could have been she did not find it to be so at all. She found it freeing.​

​

"Yes Master," she responded, chin held ever so slightly higher, when he gave her new instructions. Round and round and round again she was moved, though without her eyes to see it the off-kiltered equilibrium was less of a nuisance than it could have been. She grounded herself through the Force even as she span, willing the motion away from her ears. Without such she might have stumbled, heck she might have thrown up.​

​

Instead when she came to a halt her head swam, sure, but she did not waver around as she had previously. She breathed in a breath, slow and calm, and reached out again.​

​

She sought the different counterparts once more. The door this time was in front of her, though the droid was not at her back. They had not switched places, no the droid had moved... Zaavik was the one who was behind her, slightly to the right if she were sensing correctly. She bled further into the Force, reaching out into the room, and though a slow process she began to visualize it in her mind. As though her eyes were open.​

​

No. She didn't wish to think of it that way. Another breath, and this time she merely felt.​

​

She turned to her right, and felt the presence of the droid a few feet away. When she made her first step she did not slip her boot against the ground as she had last time. She took a measured step, and put herself before it. Force she hoped she was before it.​

​

And then she began. She started with a Sun Djem as she had previously, and provided her strike rang true she'd move on to the next. Through the marks, slow and methodically, sizing up the droid without seeing it at all and using each strike that potentially hit to guide her through to the next. Instinct took over, that which she had truly hammered into herself over countless years of training the same damn thing. Without eyes to see, it was purely instinct.​

​

Zaavik Perl ​

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"Needs work," Zaavik observed, now suddenly upon her again. "Much better, though. You know what to do, clearly. Seems like you've just been too in your own head about it." His fingertips snuck under her hands to lift the pommel of the saber slightly. One hand moved to her shoulder, the other seizing the hilt to incline it slightly. Pulling back a few steps he'd give her posture and stance a once over. One final correction came as he moved forward, kicking gently at her feet to move them apart slightly.

"Commit this stance to memory, to instinct." She'd hardly have more than a handful of seconds before he began to spin her around once more. "Again!" he demanded. After she'd give it a shot, he'd repeat stance correction, and then twirl. "Again!" Correct. Twirl. "Again!" Emend. Spiral. "Again!" Ameliorate. Spin. This would repeat several dozen times. His corrections would become less in magnitude as they went, her speed and accuracy improved, but it was far from a miracle cure. It was progress, at the very least.

Blindfold would slide across, absconding her visage with a sudden tug from Zaavik. Directly in front of her would be the training droid this time. Black marks and nicks mired its skeletal chassis. "Remember, don't let your eyes dictate, resign them to aiding," he explained again. Observing her bearing, the only correction given was another small kick to move her left foot. "Take a breath, remember to feel." Zaavik took a slow step back. There was a brief silence before- "Go ahead."

Auraya Irath-Ur ​

 

[Auraya Irath-Ur]

On and on and on again they went. Stance corrected, a slight lift to her saber, again, and again, and again.​

​

And somehow through it all Auraya remained motivated. Determined. She did not show any more of that brief frustration exhibited when Zaavik first entered the room, just a cool, calm, collected mind and a willingness to learn.​

​

Even as her limbs ached from continual strain.​

​

If she had been tired before, she was exhausted now. But with the Force through her limbs it was softened some. Boy would she sleep well tonight. Raya doubted even the night terrors would rouse her from it.​

​

Finally the blindfold was removed, and slowly she opened her eyes and allowed them to adjust to the bright light of the room. Adding back a sense which had been deprived for so long was a strange, overwhelming experience. But she had learned that she didn't need to rely upon it, so instead of trying to strain through it she simply accepted the temporary blurriness for what it was and instead prepared herself.​

​

She took up the stance he'd etched into her memory that afternoon, tipped her bokken up ever so slightly more than how it naturally wished to lay, and nodded once.​

​

"Yes, Master."​

​

Inhale. Exhale. Clear the mind. All that remained was the girl and the droid.​

​

Her movements were fluid; they lacked the stiff control she'd tried to hold over them at the beginning of their session, instead they moved from one to the other, targeting the various zones, without thought. As though the bokken was an extension of her arm, nay her body, and her body in turn one with the blade.​

​

Sun Djem, Shiim, Shiak... On and on... And even when she reached those final three, even with the droid stood right before her visible as anything, she did not falter. She did not succumb to the mental blocks she'd previously exhibited. She brought the blade through each of the motions, and when the final and arguably most difficult of the lot came to be it was as the others had been.​

​

Fluid.​

​

Zaavik Perl ​

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"See? Not that hard." He stepped forward and waved the droid off with a lax gesture. "Still need practice, but you'll get there. Already doing better than when I walked in." Encouragement took an odd cadence in his usual dry monotone. Another wave of his hand sent the droid even further back, returning it to the not-in-use repository. Mechanical head drooped and a low whirring sound echoed as the droid powered down.

A training hilt flew across the room, arriving into Zaavik's left hand with a metallic thud as durasteel met cortosis. Low-intensity blade burst to life with a sharp hiss, blue light radiating weakly. After a few one-handed flourishes, he took his own basic Shii-Cho stance ahead of her. He stood as an imperfect mirror of what he'd taught her, given his sinistrality.

"Let's skip ahead to the fun part," he declared, grinning. A nod of his head indicated for her to turn and take the stance before him. A brief, two-handed flourish danced impatiently in long arcs as she took up the proper carriage. "Remember not to get into your own head about it," he advised yet again. "Just remember what I taught you. Breathe, feel, strike."

"Got it?"

Auraya Irath-Ur ​

 

[Auraya Irath-Ur]

She could feel her breathing begin to slow back down to its regular rate as she was finally provided with a moment's respite. Her skin felt hot and sticky owing to the workout of a lifetime, chest rising and falling as she took deep and measured breaths. Her cheeks were flushed, a very slight tremor to her hands was visible, but none of that mattered.​

​

She'd done it. Not perfect, not without fault, but passing. The relief which washed over her as he spoke threatened to sap the rest of her strength, but she held firm and watched as he maneuvered the droid back to its bay.​

​

"Thank you," she said, closing her eyes for a moment rather than finding a spot on the wall to stare at as she found the words she wanted to speak. "For not giving up."​

​

The thud drew her attention back to him, eyes opening once more, and she watched as he took the stance she'd been spending all afternoon working on. Though her muscles felt heavy she found herself bouncing upon the balls of her feet, forcing the blood flow back through her body and reigniting some of the adrenaline which had begun to wane.​

​

Tired as she was, she knew from experience that she could drag it out for longer if she needed. This wasn't so much a need, though, it was a want. Put all she had learned into practice, true practice. She expected to be knocked back down a few pegs, but maybe that was for the best. She could not get complacent, not when she was so close to actually achieving something in life.​

​

"Yes, Master," she responded as he reminded her of all he'd tried to instill, taking in a slow and deep breath and feeling it ripple through her body. The exhale did similar, loosening her joints and breathing life back into her muscles.​

​

With a soft motion of her hand she sent the bokken back toward the stand, and pulled free a training saber in its stead. As it reached her hand she held it there for a second, before igniting it with a snap-hiss; thereafter she positioned herself into the opening stance, and bowed toward her Master.​

​

Excitement, anticipation, and a slight bit of anxiety rose within her. For once she did not succumb to either.​

​

Zaavik Perl ​

 

[Zaavik Perl]

No response was offered to her thanks. Only a look that whispered 'don't sweat it' in some vague, ostensibly communicative fashion. Form one didn't generally lend itself well to saber on saber combat, especially not when compared to its six counterparts. Zaavik would resign himself to only using Shii-Cho for that reason, and to perhaps go easier on the exhausted Padawan. If someone asked him why, though, he'd never admit to the latter.

"Think of it as more of a demonstration than a spar," he said. His fingers fidgeted, half releasing the hilt and slowly wrapping back around. A momentary pause stagnated between the two, Zaavik waiting and Auraya presumably unsure of where to start. His head tilted, peering around the blue blade in front of him. "A good opportunity to apply what you've learned about feeling to the defensive counterparts of each strike zone, too."

Zaavik began to move, circling around with his saber up. His steps herded Auraya to match his movements, the two of them locked in a momentary mirror of rotation.

The Knight halted, facing her once again the effortless stance. The feelings welling up inside her were easily sensed, but he'd take no advisory tone about it as long as she kept them secondary to her intent. Again, he waited, eyes locked forward onto hers with a cold deadpan about his features. "Well?" he goaded expectantly. "Let's see it, kid."

Auraya Irath-Ur ​

 

[Auraya Irath-Ur]

Zaavik made no move toward beginning this demonstration.​

​

That meant it was down to Auraya to set the tone for the whole thing. The choice she made could have it end as swiftly as it started, and that was a little unnerving to think about. So she didn't.​

​

She didn't think, she acted.​

​

The pair were opposites in terms of which hand they used, which meant their blades were close together no matter how they stood. His guard would be harder to slip beneath as a result, as no matter what she'd have to swing past his saber to land a hit.​

​

Had this been real danger, a true fight, instinct might have bade her do so something unconventional. Crouch, perhaps, to get a low swing in, or something of the sort. But that wasn't the purpose of this. As he said, it wasn't really a spar.​

​

So she inhaled a slow breath, and before he finished his last words she swung her blade into a disarming slash. She knew it wouldn't land, not unless Zaavik allowed it to, but it didn't matter. She had initiated, and now she could move with the ebbs and flows of the not-a-spar.​

​

Zaavik Perl ​

 

[Zaavik Perl]

Wrists rotated to meet the incoming strike with a fluid ease. Zaavik's words died down to a series of hems and haws as he performed the blocking manuever. "Clever," he offered with a grin. "Struck like a Shadow, and to think I haven't even gotten into the misdirection lessons yet-" A sudden hiss sounded from below, Zaavik's training saber biting at Raya's hip suddenly with a harmless twinge of pain. The grin grew even wider. "-But there's your first one."

Low-intensity blades danced against one another, demonstrating the strike zones and defenses with near-hypnotizing motion. The weak hissing of plasma on plasma harmonized with his occasional instruction and reminders as they went through the motions. Every time they fell in sync, Zaavik would mix up the order to throw her off, gauging how well and how quickly she adjusted.

The long demonstration concluded with a sudden stroke that stopped only inches from Raya's neck. A labored exhale inflected the effort exerted, a subtle sheen of sweat across his vermillion features. "That about does it for now, I think." The training blade retracted away from Raya and back into the hilt. An accurate toss sent it clattering onto the holding rack across the room.

A hand extended from the Knight, fingers making an odd curl as his face wavered slightly into focus. Something dragged loudly across the ground, soon revealed to be a meditation chair as it slid up next to the Padawan. "Sit," he instructed softly before turning to pull another meditation chair from the opposite side of the room. "We'll meditate and reflect on what we've learned," he said, as if he'd really learned anything himself.

"I never really cared for this part, but all the Masters, including my former, swear by it. Can't hurt, right?" Zaavik climbed into his seat, crossed his legs, and let out a deep breath. "We'll do guided meditation, alright? I'm sure you know what to do already, but just follow my words."

Auraya Irath-Ur ​

 

[Auraya Irath-Ur]

Was that... praise?​

​

Real praise?​

​

Raya grinned, showing a little confidence in herself for the first time that day. Perhaps longer. But it was short lived, as the training blade singed against her hip. The grin only barely faltered though, as she fell into the motions and oddly began to feel at peace. With herself. That was rarer than the confidence, to be sure. All thoughts of Jakku bled away as she succumbed to the moment. Step by step, beat by beat, they continued on in the same vein, tripped up by changes here and there but onward all the same.​

​

It was different, going against a fellow sentient. The chaotic, unpredictable nature of person-on-person sparring was raw and fragile and exhilarating. Not in some weird bloodlust sense, just... A reminder that she was in fact alive.​

​

Their not-a-spar ended with a blade inches from her throat, and Raya's head tipped back to avoid it. Her breathing was laboured, cheeks flushed, yet the fatigue shown in body was not present in her eyes. There was only a fire which slowly began to quell in the aftermath.​

​

"Y-Yes Master," she breathed, trying to slow her racing pulse. Her own lightsaber whooshed from existence, and she returned it to her hip soon after. It wasn't until she was bade to sit that she realized her legs had practically become jelly, wibbly wobbly and uneven. She lowered herself to the low seat, legs crossed, and closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing. Erratic as it was.​

​

"I like to meditate," she revealed, before falling silent and listening. Had she ever actually outright told him something about herself like that? Had she ever said more than a handful of words in response to him? She couldn't say for sure. She felt like she hadn't. Meditation was hardly a drop in the bucket, of course, but it was something. It was nice to escape ones thoughts for a while, and simply... exist.​

​

So she did. Following in whatever path he wished to guide her in.​

​

Zaavik Perl ​

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"That makes one of us," Zaavik replied, letting slip a little about himself as well. A smooth exhale came with the falling of his chest. "You know the initial drill. Let go, relax." Zaavik felt the echoes of exertion slowly leave his body, drowning beneath the neutral malaise of meditation's egress. He forced one eye open, distancing himself from the oncoming trance and checking across the way toward his learner.

"Take everything you learned today, and pull it all inward." The eye fell closed again. Zaavik took another breath, the clutter of his psyche falling away to a blank void. "Find what's inside yourself. I'm sure you've seen it before; The Force." Against the dark, a small flame began to dance. "It's always a fire for me, like the tip of a candle," he explained. "Everyone perceives it differently. I've heard oceans, rivers, trees, but for me, it's always a huge fire."

Zaavik allowed himself to be pulled in, gazing into himself and thus into everything, all connected by the force. He could see so much, even if it only appeared to be one flame. His own wisp. A dancing flicker nearby, Auraya. A greater ring of infernos encompassing them, The Temple and Jedi within. Zaavik's voice fell into a slient monotone as his focus split between meditation and speaking. "A fire is light, warmth, and life. But it's also passion, destruction, death. The duality of the Force working just as much together as against-" The image began to pull out and grow indistinct as he spoke, slowly pulled from his trance as he exerted effort to explain. "The pit of ashes beneath, the only true point of no return: The lowest stagnation of the dark side. The illumination far above: The loving embrace of the light."

"Everyone's perception conveys it the same way, even if the visuals vary. How the Force presents itself to someone, and how their spirit comes to perceive it, speaks volumes of the individual." Oddly out of place was the sudden sagely wisdom, if you could call it that. Another layer yet peeling away off Zaavik's pseudo-careless apathy. Even if he'd never admit it himself, no one was Knighted so young for nothing. There was a hidden depth of growth and experience beyond his years somewhere in there. Perhaps Auraya had earned the smallest peek through this lesson.

"What do you see? Concentrate."

Auraya Irath-Ur ​

 

[Auraya Irath-Ur]

Let go.​

​

Relax.​

​

Even with the mounting pressure she'd felt since coming to Coruscant, even following all she'd experienced since then, meditation was something Raya found easy to fall back upon. It was time spent in utter peace, her mind free from distraction and thought. Just breathing, permitting herself time to merely exist within the Universe. Within the Force.​

​

Yes. She could do as he bid. Did as he bid. Her eyes remained closed, and an easy calm settled over her. A slow and steady intake of breath, felt throughout her body, and then an equally slow exhale. Rinse and repeat. With only his voice to focus on.​

​

He wanted more than a blank mind, though. He wanted reflection, introspection, for her to grasp at the Force and allow it to flow through her, to form however it chose to exist within her mind. And with that he gave her another snippet into his life, a most sacred snippet at that. He revealed to her the way in which he viewed the Force, how it manifested for him, and though she could not visualize it in the same way she took it in all the same, breathed life to those thoughts.​

​

It was a deep and thoughtful observation which he relayed to her, more detail than a mere analogy would usually give. No metaphor then, it was truly how it presented for him. Fire, flames, heat, and embers... Light which bled from it, shone even.​

​

She listened to it all, and visualized it within her mind for a time. Slowly inhaled and exhaled and continued with her breathing exercises. Continued to draw upon the Force and center it in her core. That was until he asked her to do the same, to reflect upon the way in which it presented itself to her.​

​

It took her a moment, perhaps she did not wish to say, perhaps she had not been too certain, but either way with time she finally spoke up.​

​

"I see... an endless ocean."​

​

Mundane? Overused? Raya did not know. Raya did not care. She had no say over how it came to her, it simply had been this way for as long as she could recall. There was nothing she could do about that.​

​

"It's still, save for ripples stirred by you and I... Peaceful."​

​

She drew deeper still, flowing into the Force as she sought further introspection and sank deeper into the meditative state.​

​

"But each ripple continues on," she continued, though her voice began to take on a quieter, more serious tone, "They are endless too... Eternal... Every action taken adds more to the water, until in places it's no longer still. They're waves, not ripples."​

​

Was this still the manifestation, or something more? Raya could not drag herself out of the turbulent depths of her mind, the breathing she'd until now kept calm and coordinated became far more erratic, her relaxed state far more rigid.​

​

"It's hard to swim where they all converge... To remain afloat. They pull you under, 'til you're sinking and you don't know which way's up or down. I don't know how to find the surface..."​

​

There in the inky black she'd unwittingly formed in her mind, so deep in the figurative water that there was nothing else to see, Auraya found herself lost. Alone in the depths, and unable to shake herself out of it, she was surrounded by the water-logged bodies of those who had perished inside the Starship Graveyard, even beneath the water their bodies burned as the aftershock of the explosion struck them.​

​

So deep in her mind, Jakku could no longer be suppressed beneath fleeting thoughts and a steadfast mind. There was no adrenaline from the fight, no fatigue in the aftermath.​

​

Just a girl and her mind, left to their own devices.​

​

She couldn't even sense the presence of the man who sat just across from her; alone with her demons.​

​

Zaavik Perl ​

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"It's always an ocean," Zaavik remarked with dissapointed timbre. It was a little thing, sure, but he held a secret hope that he'd hear her describe something he hadn't yet heard before.

Closing his eyes again, insistent against his restlessness, he tried to fall into the meditative trance once again as he listened to her further explanation. Despite Raya speaking, he slowly found himself sinking back toward the cosmic fire in the center of the all-encompassing void. The fires blazed in his mind's eye. Two wisps, one for each of them, fluttering nearby with a heart-like pulse.

I don't know how to find the surface..."​

One of the wisps began to undulate with uncertain turbulence. Diminishing and rising with no set rhythm, it reflected turmoil as best as the visual possibly could. The vision of the inferno became haze, fading to the back of Zaavik's consciousness as his dominant eye fluttered open to check on Auraya. "Hey, you good?" he asked.

A moment passed with no response, which Zaavik might have chalked up to focus had he not been able to sense her inexplicable struggle. "Raya?" he nudged verbally again, this time his voice reflecting a sternness that was insistent on getting her attention.

No change, no reply, just a seemingly sourceless turmoil emanating from a half-conscious padawan.

"Hey!" he shouted. This time, voice demonstrating the slightest shred of concern. The bottom of his boot planted into the front of her meditation chair, jarring it slightly along with a loud, hollow thud.

Auraya Irath-Ur ​

 

[Auraya Irath-Ur]

Down, down, down.​

​

The girl just kept spiraling down, deeper into that black abyss. The light of the surface was gone at this point, there was no warmth, no life, just... black.​

​

Somewhere off in the distance came an echo of an echo of a voice. So fleeting that she could barely make it out, so quiet that she did not know the words uttered. She tried to move toward it, it was something and something was better than nothing, but her limbs felt heavy as though the water was sludge, quick sand that refused to release its grip.​

​

That voice became louder, and louder, but the words still made no sense to her. As though they were spoken in tongues, or muffled by the endless sea between them.​

​

Down, down, down...​

​

Then thud.​

​

With a jolt she was knocked from her seat, whether intentional or not, and pulled all at once from the depths of her mind. A gasp was the only breath she took for what felt like an eternity, that breath held in her throat and threatened to constrict the life from her lungs.​

​

Her eyes opened as she fell back against the floor, and for a moment all she could do was stare up as the inky void ebbed at the corners of her senses. Only slowly dulling, as the innate light of the Temple washed over her. As she remembered who she was, where she was... and who was with her.​

​

Zaavik Perl ​

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"Oh, foitan banas!" Zaavik let out a reactionary curse in his mother tongue his expression contorted into a grimace. Had he kicked the seat that hard? Shooting to his feet, he moved around both seats quickly to stand over Raya. Close-lipped grimace still over his visage, he scratched his temple with embarassment.

"Ah- Uh- You alright?" His hand danced awkwardly as he hesitated to offer it outward. Stuck between wanting to help and reconsidering on the basis of contact. Finally it came fully forward, the desire to assist winning the conflict. Aluminiferous digits lined with unfeeling cortosis waiting patiently, dreading the inevitable obliging grasp.

"I wasn't trying to knock you out of your seat, just snap you out of... whatever that was."

Auraya Irath-Ur ​