This will be my first recording when i'm not drunk, quite the opposite,sober and taking a break from drinking, only for a short while at least. Smoking however is still rather frequent, some of that pipeweed I managed to "Obtain" through perfectly legal transactions from those villagers and farmers has came in handy. However im quite unsure of my standing within this rather ragtag crew that works within the ship, call me crazy but as a Bothan it's my job to be suspicious of others and most importantly obtain information. Many other species don't understand what it is to be a Bothan they only understand the view from the outside not the inside. Paranoia begins to set in the minute a young Bothan understands our way of life, trust is not something we give freely and willingly. My kin provide services for many and in exchange we rattle the power rankings within society,governments,corporations and even the underworld.
Perhaps I may need to rethink my actions yet I am unsure of how to proceed without alerting others nerves are rather on edge, but then again when aren't they... I think everyone and everything is out to get me, and for the first time in a while I got offered a chance to escape that life, only if its for a moment. I will not compromise myself, however I do feel under threat due to what I am rather than who I am. This is my only chance to enjoy life for a little bit and indulge in it without people dying constantly around me. Anyway I still need to give
Kelsie Sylvan
a gift without peeking her interests to much. Its almost an unnerving instinct when your surrounded by strangers, but I enjoy their company. Well most of the time I do ahah there are times when I need my own personal space to reflect on my life and my actions. This "voyage" is truly a refreshing experience into life! No governments, no law abiding citizens, and most importantly no hired gun with the gaul to try me because "He wants his credits" the bodies i've buried within my line of work are numerous and of all shapes, sizes and species.
But for once I don't have to shoot anyone, well not yet at least. Although I am worried about this little adventure, that it will come to a halt all to soon. I'm not someone who is trained in this type of stuff nor would I have ever been, i'm good at getting the job done, but for once there is no job. It just feels weird everything is off to me, not in a bad way off just in an odd way off you know what i'm saying future me? Look forget that question as of right now i'm more worried about someone getting shifty around the "Bothan" so lets just calm some nerves and enjoy this "voyage" i'm here because I wanted a break from the usual and others are here because, well quite frankly that is their own damn business, but as a Bothan it's also my business to. Arrangements have been made to securely and secretly send something that was annoyingly frustrating to get, but like I said it's my business to know business. Meiloorun is rather delicate and delicious, non alcohol so it can't interfere with whatever
Kelsie Sylvan
dose as well as some chocolate I heard was around, that was extremely difficult and annoying to get my hands on. I do hope this is effective and enjoyable for Kelsie and myself, I also managed to get some information about the "chocolatier" we have on the ship, rather interesting, but harmless information nonetheless, besides I have no intention of divulging it...unless I have to.
But I must admit, these living quarters are rather spacious. Better then some sort of prison cell I guess, surrounded by mostly good people with good intentions from what I have gathered and no harm or foul, well mostly accidents are bound to happen, but so called 'Security" has been taking care of those issues im quite intrigued thought, this head of the science vessel is such a commanding women and has this imposing force of will, I do hope she enjoys those anonymous gifts that I sent. Anyway this is quite enough information about a sober situation rather than a drunk one I do rather enjoy drinking aha, but I can't risk putting myself in danger. I care about the safety of this crew, because I value my safety first and foremost and I for one cannot risk being labeled as a liability to this crew. Bothan values and our way of life is unnatural to many especially humans, they don't understand why we do it, why we follow these "Degenerate" ways of life.
I value my peoples teachings, our philosophies and our ways of life. Most other species especially Humans have scrutinized my peoples way of life. yes my ideals of "The Way" are different and not exactly liked, but it's my interpretation of the teachings "Power and Influence" are valued words to a Bothan, not just valued, but everything! Ehhh I fear I got caught up in emotions. Rather than destroy this recording I will keep it. For my own safety I want to enjoy this adventure while it last, it's the first time in years I have ever felt truly "Free" from the galaxies barbaric tendrils of "Law and Order" Bok Out.