What's new

Ham's Big Confession - And Return

My name's Hamish. Some of you here might remember me from the early days of the site, though I think I dropped this char in late 2015 or thereabouts.

I've been back since then, under different aliases. Staff probably know because of shared IP addresses and my fascination with reading my old writing. I used VPNs sometime, but I'm no expert in digital stealth.

Thing is, I love Star Wars, writing and roleplay, so I keep getting this itch that only this site can scratch.

I do, however, have a tendency to disappear. This is usually because my RL circumstances have changed - the biggest tend to be moving house, sometimes to different countries.

Each time I did, and came back, I was embarrassed at having left without notice. I made up some stupid lies to hopefully redirect the judgement. Why not, I'd been lying about everything since I began post-by-post rping in 2010.

I initially started on a site called Star Wars Descension as a character called 'Sean Dakari'. I was 12 years old and pretended I was an adult. Looking back on it now, I don't think anyone believed me and it makes me cringe to think about.

I migrated to another site, The Gungan Council, a couple months later and made a slight fool of myself there, too.

I was growing up and I knew that, as I matured, I needed a fresh start to distance myself from the ridiculousness of youth in a site full of adults. So, I made Sven Tveskoeg, some Empire pilot with Arnold Schwarzenneger as his playby. Cool stuff. I also moved to Australia in this time and started a new school, which was terrifying.

I disappeared from roleplaying for a couple months and then came back full force around 2011 or 2012, as Hamish McNair. I started fresh, again - pretended I was new. Do you see a pattern emerging? I moved back to Scotland in October 2012 and then to Malta at Christmas. Every time I moved I disappeared for a while and had some whacky explanation for my absence.

The two big ones I can remember were telling folk I'd been hit by a bus and that I got arrested for cocaine possession. Lmao, pure cringe. I was 15/16. Thought I was cool. Eventually, I realised that telling such outrageous stories was ridiculous and nobody in their right mind believed me, so I left again.

I came back a few times under different aliases over the years, to scratch the itch. Only noteworthy ones I can think of are Kobeon, the Killian Prince, and Kaden, the Sith Jedi. Really enjoyed that one.

Still, I'm in the habit of making someone new every time I return and do you know what? I feel guilty. I feel stupid. This time, I can't be bothered with lying about who I am, it just isn't worth it. I'm 22 now, an actual adult. I have a job, I study, why am I pussyfooting around a bloody roleplay site? So, here it is, my big confession.

Here's some noteworthy characters I've played as on here and elsewhere over the years;

Sean Dakari
Sven Tveskoeg
Hamish McNair
Menoetius
Kobeon
Kaden
Jagen Danner

And here's the people I want to apologise to for the deceit;

Sarge Potteiger Sarge Potteiger - Dude, you were my bestie on TGC, and for a while on here. Thanks for all the bro'ing out.
Tefka Tefka - I doubt you care, you're a pretty blasé person, but I'm sorry for taking the piss around here.
Alric Kuhn Alric Kuhn - Chris, sorry for disappearing halfway through multiple threads over multiple years.
Ashin Varanin Ashin Varanin - Jon, I loved talking writing with you, you know your stuff.
Scherezade deWinter Scherezade deWinter - I remember you ran SW Descension so, sorry you had to deal with me and my 'trolling' in my early days.

There are more people who I've been less than honest with other the years, so to you all, I'm sorry. I'm so over the same old cycle and I'm ready to settle in and amalgamate everything into one writer and own all the mistakes I made in my youth up to now. I'm happy to be here - if you guys can forgive me.

And yeah, I realise this is a wall of text that means nothing to many people, and more people couldn't care less, the main reason I'm posting this is to get it off my chest.

TL;DR I AM LEGION FOR WE ARE MANY
 
Top