Approved Planet Fush Bnigeai

[Darth Vyrassu]

Images:

Source: Wookiepedia

Name: Fush Bnigeai

Region: Outer Rim Territories

System: Kitza System

Suns: 1

Orbital Position: 4th planet from the system Sun, furthest away from the sun explaining the climate.

Moons: 1

System Features:
*Dromund Vatsu
*System under Jen'ari Control

Coordinates:

Rotational Period: 22 GSH

Orbital Period: 526 GSD

Class: Frozen Terrestrial

Diameter: 12,200 kilometers

Atmosphere: Type I

Climate:
Fush Bnigeai is the fourth planet of the un-named system controlled by The Order of the Jen'ari, the farthest from the system sun causing a lack of warmth from the sun. Theodore it is a desolate world covered with ice and snow, The planet consisted of a molten metallic core with dichotomous crust. Its surface was entirely covered by a frozen ocean, except where volcanic fissures opened up steam vents, depositing rock and minerals in darker patches on the glacier plains. A few mountain ranges pierced the permanent ice shelves, some being geologically active. The tidal pull of Fush Bnigeai's moon caused fissures in the ice-layers, sending jets of ocean water into the freezing Fush Bnigeai air. The intense cold froze these jets into spires of ice, suspending primitive ocean algae within these tall columns and glaciers. Massive oceanic currents beneath the southern hemisphere caused regular seismic activity, resulting in a constantly shifting landscape of caves and tunnels. Buried deep in Fush Bnigeai's equatorial region was a fissure, reaching hundreds of meters towards the core of the planet

Gravity: Standard

Primary Terrain:
Ice caves
Tundras
Frozen plains
Mountain ranges
Canyons

Native Species:
Fire Bats
Glacier worms
Ice Bats
Ice Cats
Ice Piranhas
Ice scrabblers
Icetrompers
Iceworms
Icy jellyfish
Ion eels
Rayboos
Snow Bears
Snow Mynocks
Snowmice
Tauntauns
Wampas

Immigrated Species:
Jen'ari Imperial Shadow Troopers
(10,000)

Primary Languages: Galactic Standard Basic

Government: Magocratic/theocratic empire

Population: Exact Population known
32% ice scrabblers
23% tauntauns
11% wampas
34% other beings such as immigrants
Unknown amount of Skels


Demonym: Fushi

Major Imports:
*Meat
*Fruits & Veggies
*Weapons
*Random types of technology
*basic supplies (housing supplies, wash room supplies, cleaning supplies)


Major Exports:
Diamonds
Crystals
Water
Ice

Affiliation: Order of the Jen'ari

Major Locations:
* Jen'ari Imperial Prison

The Jen'ari Imperial Prison is where The Order of the Jen'ari keeps it's top priority prisoners. The entire Compound is secured by laser walls security Cameras and sensors as well as Imperial Shadow Troopers guarding every square inch of the Prison. The prison had enough capacity to hold 1,200 prisoners. It's also fitted with an armory, wardens office, Staff Headquarters, Troop barracks, and storage facility for 4 Imperial AT-AT Walkers Darth Vyrassu secured in 234 ABY. The Base itself is guarded by turrets aside from the troops and watch towers. The walls are made out of Black Durasteel.



Culture:
Other than Jen'ari Imperial Forces and Jen'ari Prisoners The planet is uninhabited; as such there is no culture. The Imperial Jen'ari Forces use the Planet as a military outpost and training ground as well as a prison for its high priority prisoners. The ONLY KNOWN culture is prison gangs being formed and prisoners playing dice and Sabacc for sports. The Imperial Guards when not training enjoy activities as gambling on podracing Swoop racing that they see on the holonet, working out, boxing, as well as they have Swoop races through the snow canyons. For those choosing to be lazy enjoy hot coca or building snowmen or snow ball fights.

Technology: Average of the rest of the galaxy.

History: A few years after Vatsu City was completed, Darth Vyrassu wanted an imperial Prison built, but he wanted it somewhere abandon, not Likely to have a population. Vyrassu again sent out his scouts, this time only a few weeks past and scouts delivered word of a frozen tundra world much like Hoth. Vyrassu investigated the Planet himself and then led a campaign to conquer the Planet against anyone who would try and take it from them. In the end of the campaign an Imperial Prison had been built.

Notable PCs: Darth Vyrassu, [member=Darth Rapax]

Intent: To generate good roleplay for captures and escapes and skirmishs

 

[Rusty]

Under Review.

 

[Rusty]

There are some pretty major issues that need to be addressed.

Name: fush bnigea

Please capitalize the name of your planet wherever it appears. There were a few spots that need to be fixed.

System: Un-named System that Dromund Vatsu is in (I'm making the entire system, already spoke to an admin about it)

Given the irregularity of the situation, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to elaborate. Which admin told you what and when?

Diameter: 7,200 kilometers

Too small to have standard gravity by about 5,000 kilometers.

Coordinates:

If I'm reading this correctly, there are too many planets occupying this hex. Please choose another location.

Immigrated Species: <Immigrant species with significant populations>

Please fill out this section in accordance with proper procedure.

Major Exports: <What does the planet produce and bring to the galaxy, note that not all planets have to produce things. They can be barren or have riches yet to be discovered. If they have restricted materials [see banned and restricted section] there is a template that need to be filled out)

Please fill out this section in accordance with proper procedure.

Other than Jen'ari Imperial Forces and Jen'ari Prisoners The planet is uninhabited; as such there is no culture. The Imperial Jen'ari Forces use the Planet as a military outpost and training ground as well as a prison for its high priority prisoners.

This is unacceptable. Even among small populations, some culture arises. Prisons and their inhabitants are known to form unique bonds found nowhere else, whether for good or ill. Unless everyone, including the guards, has been lobotomized, there needs to be more here.

Technology: Average of the rest of the galaxy.

The average of the galaxy is likely a spear and a rock, given that there are billions of stars and only a few thousand spacefaring species. If the technology is galactic standard, fine. Average doesn't work.

History: Darth Vyrassu discovered the Planet in 245 ABY and had an Imperial Prison and Outpost built on the frigid world. Not a too common place to visit due to its icy temperatures it was not a place too common for visitors. This would keep the prison well hidden. The Prison would remain active up until 255 ABY When the Jen'ari Empire dissolved. Now nearly 600 years Later Vyrassu returned to the frigid world and repaired the base from what the Planet has done to it and begun it's operations again as maximum security prison for the Jen'ari's high priority prisoners.

Leaving aside the fact that 400 years would have wiped the prison off the face of the planet, I find it hard to believe that there were no notable events. This needs to be elaborated upon.

That's all I have for the moment.

[member="Darth Vyrassu"]

 

[Darth Vyrassu]

Leaving aside the fact that 400 years would have wiped the prison off the face of the planet, I find it hard to believe that there were no notable events. This needs to be elaborated upon.

I think I was pretty clear on that because nothing note worthy did did happen here so please explain better how you want me to elaborate.



[Member=rusty]

Also do not use black bars in telling me what to fix, I cannot read anything with the highlights. I'm on a cell phone, meaning MOBILE version. Can't see the site normally like you. Everything else is fixed that I can fix within keeping the Planet the way I designed it

 

[Rusty]

I'm quoting you directly. Works fine on mobile for me.

As far as the history goes, there has to be something. A timeline for base construction. Notable prisoners. If you just say the outpost magically appeared one day and then they decided it wasn't working out, that's hardly worth the effort of going through an making a whole planet.

[member="Darth Vyrassu"]

 

[Darth Vyrassu]

[Member=rusty]

Fixed

 

[Rusty]

I haven't forgotten about this. I'll check everything tomorrow, once time permits.

[member="Darth Vyrassu"]

 

[Rusty]

Alright, now that I'm back at a computer, we've got a couple of issues left to address before we can move onto the next step.

Firstly, your major exports section needs to be completed. If there's nothing that's fine, but you've still got the filler text from the application.

Secondly, your culture section still needs work. Remember, these are people, not just machines. They have thoughts and feelings and a desire to bond with other sentient beings, unless they're all from a race of misanthropic loners, which seems unlikely. It's a universal truth that social beings thrown together into adversity tend to bond. They form habits, which become shared rituals, which become a part of the culture. No soldier that has ever existed has desired to spend all day every day training, from the lowest private on up to the highest general. In fact, spending as much time as humanly possible avoiding anything resembling work is a pretty big deal for lower enlisted.

Imagine you and 100 of your best frenemies were trapped in that place together for years on end. How would you react to the stress?

[member="Darth Vyrassu"]

 

[Darth Vyrassu]

[Member=rusty] Updated

 

[Rusty]

I think that just about wraps it up.

Approved, pending secondary.

[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Darth Vyrassu"]
I'm about ready to pass this. One final thing however.

You did talk to me in PM, but as I said there and I'll say here, the system has to have a name.

If you want to call it the Vatsu System that's fine, you can change it later.

 

[Darth Vyrassu]

[Member=Valiens Nantaris]

Call it the Kitza System

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Very well, approved.