I kinda understand what you mean with your problem between switching from first-person to third-person(I to He/She/etc). So i currently write Taru and the rest of my characters in the third-person and in the past tense instead of first person present. With past tense, for me, it just involves writing
about what happened from a a standpoint of
the thing I'm writing about happened around a second ago unless otherwise specified.
Ex: Taru ducked low as the blaster shots came flying at him from three different directions, singeing his armor vestigial horns and bringing his emotional state into more of a whirlpool of rage.
Continued Ex: As the shots flew at me from three different directions, I ducked low, trying to create as small of a target as i could, but alas not small enough. Something was singed. MY HORN! Realizing that my horn was singed, well, I dont know how to explain it but i felt the adrenaline pumping as my rage went to my head.
I just like how third person sounds.
Also a small tip on making things better:
These are from
here. I dont know if you still write like this, but this is probably a good place to start. Your writing is solid. Its readable, well-spaced, and enjoyable to read.
But you had asked for how to make your writing better and so I shall say, these quotes I stole from
the same place as the last hyperlink, they highlight complete sentences that can be made much better. Instead of just saying I collected myself or Anger started to rise, you could make this writing much more easy to understand your view of your character's actions by describing how they collected themselves and how they became angry. Were there any physical signs of anger, like a scrunching of the fists and frown upon the face? Any calming breath techniques utilized or tidying of clothing to show collecting oneself? Describing something in how it affects your character physically, mentally and emotionally can all help make your posts sound and look better. You seem to get the emotional/mental states down well but dont portray and write out the physical signs as much.
Hope i was able to help
Okkeus Dainlei
, and btw Im still working myself on implementing these into my writing. 276 posts and almost two years with this char alone, and I'm still learning, so dont worry your writing for your first month of RP is good. And if ya ever want to thread with me and any of my chars just hit me up either here on Chaos or through Discord.