Drama, Salt, and You.

[Tefka]

....Chaos has had a tumultuous relationship with drama.

We love it

We hate it

We love to hate it

We hate to love it.

How do you make amends with drama? Do you enjoy being a centerpiece of it? Do you enjoy watching it? Do you hate it and want to ban it forever? Or do you believe a nice balance between it, and all of its forms (both good and bad) should be welcome here?


....and if you're in support of it, what kinds of drama do you like witnessing the most?

 

[Adron Malvern]

I think in just about any instance where there can be disagreement there can be drama. It's not something that can just be wiped away with the twitch of a nose. That being said I don't think letting it run rampant is conducive to an enjoyable RP environment. I very much appreciate other writers who are conscious of where drama can breed and how to deal with it, but at the same time I don't see any way that you can truly minimize drama without instilling rules or codes that would make things a bit tight around the neck. So I'd say maintaining a nice balance keeps things in a happy place.

 

[Lyth Meran]

easy DGAF fanyasy drama is fantasy. or make a big guy and have him roll over the guy.

 

[Rusty]

A pinch of salt isn't a bad thing. I've seen personal rivalries fuel some epic stories over the years. So long as things don't get too out of hand, a little genuine tension can elevate a good story to greatness. Unfortunately, that's a fine line to walk, and few are the folks who can tread it for long.

Me personally, I know I have a temper. I can roll with a great many things in RP, but once certain lines are crossed, I lose any semblance of cool. Most of the time, someone makes me take a step back before things get irrevocably karked, but not always. And since I'm trying very hard not to go that route again, my approach this go round is to avoid salt altogether. Keep it light, keep it fun, make big guns.

 

[Ardgal Raxis]

One month the Misses and I were having a lot of problems, and I admit, that a lot of it was mine. I had been stressed as hell and was transfering a lot of that into my relationships. Money was really tight, and I was behind the 8 ball with some work stuff and school stuff. And she wasn't the only one I was having words and drama with. I went out for a walk one night with this stuff and when I came back my dad was outside to meet me. He told me something that has really affected me; a sincere apology goes a long way to fixing problems.

I do love to watch drama, but I hate to be in the center of it. (I am a great troll, tho and I love to troll people, but that's different). It can be pretty fun for me to just watch someone else get their head chewed off by someone else as I kick back and chew on popcorn. Its not all I love, and I don't love it all the time, a small amount of it goes a long way.

 

[Kurayami Bloodborn]

IC drama and salty comments are fine. Like Rusty said it can really make for some fun RP and help push stories along, or create a path you didn't see before. OOC honestly I find it hard to care, it's always entertaining to me to watch people argue endlessly OOC over something that in the grand scheme has no lasting effect on anything. I will lurk and read invasion threads both IC and OOC to see just how salt filled they truly are, even if it is hidden to a degree behind false kindness and subtle passive aggressiveness(or at least attempts at such things). If a situation gets out of hand I find the best thing to do is walk away or just say 'fuck this' and start making posts that are simply for comedic effect instead of actually throwing fuel on the fire.

 

[Kay-Larr]

The only drama and salt that I like is IC. The OOC kind (of which I've thankfully avoided fir the most part), can be toxifying. People quit over it when it goes too far and as a forum, we lose some really good writers.

This is all for fun. People shouldn't take it so personally to bring themselves down to the level of enacting revenge and flinging poop.

But as my hubby keeps telling me, there's always drama on forums. So I'm not entirely sure if there's a way to end it. I just try to keep away from it.

 

[Marcus Itera]

Do you enjoy watching it?

Yes.

what kinds of drama do you like witnessing the most?

Real people getting worked up over fictitious characters, items, and locations they've created with their imagination. Play by post roleplaying is a game. It's a hobby.

Sure it might be a sweet release from real life and all of its stressful endeavors, but I find it quite entertaining and a little disheartening to see these folks miss the point of roleplaying. Create a story, make some friends, and have those characters you made do all sorts of scary, silly, and amazing things. When you're faced with an obstacle such as another writer, you've just gotta communicate, cooperate, and roll with the punches.

 

[NightSister]

To a certain extent, I like drama. When fights break out in OOC discussions I'll most likely watch from a distance with a bucket of popcorn and laugh at the people who are being salty. I don't try to get caught in drama myself but I'm far too opinionated to avoid it altogether - when drama happens that I'm part of, though, I'll certainly get a few laughs out of it.

Of course, I've seen and heard of fights happening that escalated into absolute trainwrecks. Those are not good, and should be kept to an absolute minimum. But in my humble opinion, people are aware enough of how to block people, report people, whatever, that until they need to do so we can self-regulate our salt well enough.

 

[Ak'lya]

I tend to try and avoid conflict in general. That's not saying I'm good at it, or that I haven't caught myself being a passive-aggressive piece of hutt-slimed gutter trash before, but as a rule, I tend to run the other way or just stay silent than confront people about things. That said, I know I've been part of some massive drama fests in the past, and it's kinda to the point where it seems like drama is unavoidable if you want to be anything near a major player on the galactic stage. But there's also some factions and people who go about it better than others.

If I could name one thing I would blame for the site's drama, it's the "us vs them" mentalities that tend to develop, an I know I'm not guiltless. I've been in groups where they were good at saying "We're all writing together, let's have fun with it." and others who say "They're just trying to kark us, they hate us, etc." and I can say one of those is a lot more fun to write in than the other.

I think another reason is the map. Dominions are hard work, and people don't want to lose what can be hours, days, or sometimes even months of work, which makes attacks on their territory, and espically rebellions and invasions, stressful. I've said many times I didn't like how rebellions worked. I think part of that is my own neurosis, but I'd also guess part of it was that I was always on the defending side. I didn't want to lose the planets I just worked to gain. So I got upset (Probably to [member="Marcus Itera"]'s enjoyment. If so, at least someone benefited from it). As far as if we should eliminate it, I don't think that's possible. With how much of story is based on conflict, and with how much stake we tend to put in our characters, drama is inevitable. I think the best we can do is try to understand viewpoints, and remember, as Marcus said, it's a game. Enjoy it as much as you can, and try to not get too invested.

TL;DR: I avoid conflict, even if I have started Drama. Us vs Them ideas are bad. Map game can add to drama and stress.

 

[WolfMortum]

In the two years that I've been on Chaos now (Still feel like a baby here xD), I've only had a falling out with two people that couldn't find a mutual ground with me to try and sort it. Given the amount of drama I've seen in that time I consider my experience to have been quite the success with interacting with others across the board. Going into sharing the experience with others, mutual respect is a must for me. I don't hold others to this, they're welcome to act how they please but as long as I'm able to show good faith and attitude towards those I'm Rp'ing with then I'm satisfied that there's little more I could do to make them feel welcome and appreciated.

Player vs Player threads are also a big instigator of salt and I love taking part in those, the challenge to compete against the writing styles and imaginations of others is thrilling, but the same applies there, respect each others boundaries, treat them as you wish to be treated and don't take everything to heart, there's a line between OOC and IC and I feel a lot of people can get this mixed up and take feedback or posts as personal attacks. We're all writing a story here, an enjoyable one and most importantly a fictional one. Have fun with the experience. Getting pissed with people you'll probably never meet in life or have any significance to you as a person will only limit that enjoyment.

That's my take anyway.

 

[Sanya Val Lerium]

I've been in the middle of a long period of drama at one point and well it made me bitter and angry. It didn't help that I was going though an emotional time in my life and it bled into my role play and effected the relationships I had on site with others. I ended up taking a brake for three months without saying anything to sort myself out and came back with a fresher mind. Unfortunately some of it still stuck and people who I won't name and shame tried to drag me back into it. So I went on another shorter vacation but with regular check ins.

By the time I was fully back I was more happier with my life in general and once again I became the helpful nice person I was when I came to the site. I remember one person saying a few weeks ago saying that I wasn't as bad as what people made me out to be. (Put a smile on my face.)

I do also admit that I've done mean things and I apologized to the people I may/have hurt.

So my advice to people who seem to be dragged into the mud by others or your self, just take a vacation and let it pass.

 

[Alkor Centaris]

As long as the drama stays in character, I don't care. It can be good for story.

Rivalries, if civil, can make for good writing.

But people should always treat each other with respect and conduct themselves with integrity, because that fosters a positive environment.

 

[Connor Harrison]

I've lots of backstabbing and two-facedness going that escalates from IC to OOC, and it's not good. As [member="Lady Kay"] said, it's toxic.

I've seen established writers quit the site over the 3 years I've been here because of amplified IC actions turn into near OOC bullying and intimidation, all because a plot point doesn't pan out, or a character doesn't behave how you wish.

This has pushed me to the brink one or two times, but I've been able to come back to turn away from what doesn't work to find something that does, and there is a good amount of people here always willing to listen and help get you back on track, which is a big positive.

The thing I remember here when I see drama flair up is that nobody is superior over another. Not even due to rank title, Faction, post count or colour of their name - except Tefka, I'll give him that! - and to use that "status" in escalating something IC to OOC, or vice versa, is a real RP turn-off when it happens.

If someone has an issue, talk it out and you may see there's nothing to it. Don't snipe behind backs in Discord or in small groups or across PMs. It's not funny, clever or amusing. We are all here for the same thing, and I am sure 90% of brewing IC/OOC drama can be stopped by simple, adult communication and understanding.

 

[Winter Sovereign]

I find it amusing to watch...but once it starts getting personal and people begin to attack one another OOC i find it rather toxic, and as a result we end up losing writers. Just do what your momma taught you and play nice.

 

[Faith Organa]

I am not a fan of drama it tends to kill a muse, or give a site a bad rep . I agree with what has been said by [member="Lady Kay"] and [member="Connor Harrison"] - drama is toxic . I don't want to start it or be part of it

I am not a fan of confrontation either which seems to happen whether in PMs or in the OOC. I don't want to read it, it makes me uncomfortable.

For me when something has happened a lot of times I will go and talk to the other writer and ask directly what is wrong, and work from there it is a private matter. Sometimes the apology is accepted, sometimes they say thank you but never talk to

I think sometimes there is misunderstanding between writers. It's like a text message or chat rooms you see the words but you don't hear the emotion or intonation behind it. Something that one person means as being funny another takes to heart as an insult which leads to misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and drama.

Just my thoughts on it.

 

[Faith Organa]

I am not a fan of drama it tends to kill a muse, or give a site a bad rep . I agree with what has been said by [member="Lady Kay"] and [member="Connor Harrison"] - drama is toxic . I don't want to start it or be part of it

I am not a fan of belligerent confrontation either which seems to happen whether in PMs or in the OOC. I don't want to read it, it makes me uncomfortable.

For me when something has happened a lot of times I will go and talk to the other writer and ask directly what is wrong, and work from there it is a private matter. Sometimes the apology is accepted, sometimes they say thank you but never talk to

I think sometimes there is misunderstanding between writers. It's like a text message or chat rooms you see the words but you don't hear the emotion or intonation behind it. Something that one person means as being funny another takes to heart as an insult which leads to misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and drama.

Just my thoughts on it.