Demons within

[Mantic Dorn]

Aboard the Praxeum ship the meditation room held a different atmosphere. Mantic could not help but feel the loss and longing for the hallways of the jedi temple on Ossus. But he also knew that these were just thoughts of the material world. It mattered little in comparison to what was important.

And now, the time had come for an important step for both his padawans. They had both skills enough to be able to enter meditation. And he would guide them further into the depth of their inner selves on this day. It would be another test, but one they could endure together, side by side.

​

Mantic had placed himself on the central meditation pad. He positioned himself the way he preferred, with his knees down.

He knew both [member="Rafeesh"] and [member="Aston Jacobs"] only had gotten a day or so to get to know the massive jedi star desteroyer - their new home.

He rested his eyes in his lap and pondered the time. the force was constantly there, but it was a time of turmoil and disorder. He had to trust his own plain guts as much as the force on this decision.
A decision that they were ready for this.

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh had been growing accustom to life aboard a vessel. Her had never spent more than a month aboard one in the past and so believing that this would be home was a bit of a stretch. He recalled jokes from the Republic Army, during the Great Galactic War, about the Navy people being crazy for calling a ship home. Rafeesh could understand the allure of a spaceship, all the clean lines and engineering foundations. But he could not see one as a place to live one's life.

He didn't miss the temple of Ossus, not that he was happy to leave, but he did not have a connection with it that he had had with the Temple on Coruscant and Tython. Those were both gone now, or so he had been told. It grieved him deeply, but then the Sith Academy on Korriban was also gone. The citadel of Dromund Kaas too was no longer in place. Everything that he had come to find home, as a Jedi or Sith, were all gone.

He didn't think much of it, he tried not to remember. He tried to focus on the present, but it always seemed that something would remind him of his past. The odd word here or there, the way a person moved, news about a planet. They all seemed to trigger a memory. But he tried anyways to forget. He thought himself lucky he hadn't gone to deathsticks or alcohol for relief.

The Zabraak stepped quietly into the room, trying to stay silent so as to avoid disturbing his master, who he felt was meditating. Not that Rafeesh's senses were strong at this time, he just had a feeling and was trusting it whether it was right or wrong. The Force would lead him on, turn his mistakes into thing of beauty if he let it. He had heard that somewhere, before the stasis, probably as Jedi, he couldn't remember who though.

[member="Mantic Dorn"]

 

[Aston Jacobs]

Aston had for several hours found himself walking the long halls of the Republic Star Destroyer, Aston in part never truly had a home. Not one that he actually called his own. He was a wanderer for almost 3 years. Part of him still felt that way for the most part. But as he fought side by side with the Jedi and Soldiers of the Galatic Republic,Alliance and the Sanctum he was starting to discover what his home truly was. And it may not have been exactly what he would have thought. Aston just looked ahead and lingered on to hope and that he would have the friends and allies at his side to face whatever was coming.

And if that wasn't available. He always had the force as his ally. One that would never leave or betray him. For in truth the force was his most powerful ally. Aston entered the mediation room, then slowed his movements down as he stood beside [member="Rafeesh"] Aston glanced over to him and gave him a friendly smile and a nod, looking back to their Master. Aston took a deep breath as he awaited what was to come.

Unsure what the meeting was about, the force would guide him, just as it guided them all.

[member="Mantic Dorn"]

 

[Mantic Dorn]

The numb humming from the ships engines could be felt through the vast ships hull. At least for jedi who tried to listen. Mantic sensed a rythm in it, it was soothing and actually gave some comfort. A feeling that was strengthened by the appearance of the two padawans.

"Welcome padawans," he greeted them and gestured for them to take one meditation pad each. As they stepped forward the doors behind them shut themselves and all outside noise and distractions were forced to wait.

"I have asked you to come here since we need to adress something of a great concern to us all." Mantic spoke with a low yet steady voice.

"Please, I will need you to assume a meditative mindness. Shut everything out except my voice. I will soon guide you further."

Without expecting any answer or protest Mantic himself placed both hands with palms upward and then closed his eyes.


[member="Rafeesh"] [member="Aston Jacobs"]

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh returned the friendly gesture to [member="Aston Jacobs"]. He knew that the man had taken part in the raid on Roche. Probably had been a better help to. Rafeesh still felt somewhat guilty about that. The first chance to prove his loyalty on the battlefield and he had spent it all in a medical camp. Not exactly what he had hoped for. Not to mention the loss of that fighter.

He tried to quietly make his way to the pad and took a less than comfortable sitting position on it. It would keep him from dozing and allow him to think clearly. He wondered what could of be great concern, yet [member="Mantic Dorn"] called Rafeesh in. He assumed it related to himself in someway, or perhaps in something that would strengthen Rafeesh. The Iridonian did not know what his master had in mind, he did not fear that unknown.

He took a moment and tried to slip into the calm of meditation, something that he did not do quite enough of.

 

[Aston Jacobs]

@Rafeesh@Mantic Dorn

Anytime he was called upon in such a moment like this, he had had the utmost respect that it was of great importance. Any lesson or whatever this was being taught was something of great importance, especially when it came to guiding the padawans.

Aston followed suit as Rafeesh moved to a position on the cushion as Aston did Indian style on the other cushion. The Padawan glanced from his Master to Rafeesh, thus taking a deep breath and then closing his eyes. A few seconds and few more deep breaths had been taken until the padawan was breathing normally, the force as his ally and in a small meditative state.

As he awaited the answer and call from Master Dorn and Rafeesh.

 

[Mantic Dorn]

Mantic more felt then observed the two taking seats on the opposite meditation pads. As they were beginning to enter a meditative trance Mantic knew he had to help them along. But there was no rush.

"You two do not know each other well yet, but what you need to remember, even in the darkest of time is the fact that you both are jedi above all. Personal feelings, such as suspicioun, envy, fear... they are secondary at all times." Mantic then instructed possibly disturbing their peace of mind. But it was worth it. They had time.

"Today we will enter meditation together. For a jedi this state of mind is not only means to relax and recover. Meditation can be a way to find answers that your surface consciousness will not allow to appear."

"Through this state we will find those strings of the great web that is the force that we normally do not sense. Sometimes we are unaware that they exist even." Mantic took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly.

"To master your inner self is as important as master your surroundings."

"Remember to keep your breathing steady, focus on that event, or that place, real or imagined that grants you safety and stability. Then picture yourself there."

Mantic would soon intervene in a more direct fashion but it was important that both students had reached as deep meditation that they could themselves before taking this further.

[member="Rafeesh"] [member="Aston Jacobs"]

 

[Rafeesh]

Safe and secure. He had to look for that which was secure to him. For one it had to be solid, it had to withstand time. That wiped most of his life clean away, almost everything he had was all gone. Anything he had held dear or concrete was gone. Now he had to find something to hold to. He had to find some safe ground, but what and where. He could hold to the planets that he remembered, for it seemed they alone had remained almost untouched by the time he had been away. But those didn't feel safe to him. He could have fell onto certain emotions that had remained, anger, rage, hatred. But no, they were not of the Jedi. He might have once fallen on the love he felt for a person, but it was all gone now.

He decided to hold to the Force, the only thing that was still constant in this time and before. He could remember feeling something strange when first awakening from stasis. He had felt as if it were gone or different, he had felt distanced and lost. He had been sick as well. Apparently a side effect of the stasis was nausea and a large number of immune system deficiencies due to the lack of time through certain diseases.

He turned all his focus onto the Force, allowing his thoughts of the past to disappear as he tried to meditate. He could feel it right on the edge of reach. He was able to begin to feel his mind slip into the calm that was so rare for Rafeesh. That was when a memory seemed to jump to him. A battle, cities, a head seen through macrobinoculars, indecision. He could remember a name, Ord Radama, he could remember defeat. They had lost the planet and been forced to retreat, he had been sent with the first of the transports away.

That disturbed his meditation and he tried changing his focus. He tried to remember what happened, Rhen Var. He remembered a victory, he remembered a rousing speech before heading into battle. A Jedi Master and a role model. He had not been able to remember her name. He focused on this. He wondered if he should head to Rhen Var to remember more, perhaps it would come to him. He felt calm, very calm. He felt safe, in memory. He knew that once he had returned to reality he would feel worse, but for now he would be alright.

[member="Mantic Dorn"] [member="Aston Jacobs"]

 

[Aston Jacobs]

Aston glanced to [member="Rafeesh"] then to Master [member="Mantic Dorn"]. The Jedi Padawan nodded his head as he closed his eyes for a moment, the stance itself had not begun as he was listening to the sound of Master Dorn's voice. Aston nodded his head as in truth he didn't know Rafeesh that well. But that was something that would be changed in time. Aston thought highly of Master Dorn, just as Aston though highly of those padawans just as him. Aston closed his eyes and centered himself with the force and in his own right and mine he was back on Dathomir, many years ago. Just a young boy it seemed running through the forest, the rain,thunder and lightning speeding up his endeavors as he sped through the forest.

At one point the Jedi could sense a small disturbance, small at the sort. Aston could feel that it wasn't coming from him, but from Rafeesh. The Jedi Padawans vision and senses opened outward fully and it seemed something was wrong. He wasn't sure what, but if at all possible. He wanted to help his ally, his friend. They were all in this together after all.

Aston of course wasn't going to press the issue, if he could help...then he would. Aston took a deep breath as he focused inward and outward once more, feet pounding on the muddy service as a little boy sped through the forest quicker than anyone could have imagined.

 

[Mantic Dorn]

Mantic observed as the padawans was slipping deeper into mediation. It was not done without hardships however and the jedi master decided it was time to help.

"You have entered your own inner self padawans. This is good." he continued speaking with a low tone. Slowly his voice would shift from vocal and turn more and more into a thought, lingering in their minds as he began guiding them deeper into their own subconciousness.

"There is a layer beneath where you are sitting. It is soft, transparent to a degree. See the light beneath you, sense it..."
Mantic reached out to connect with them both as they hopefully would try to imagine what he was describing. Even though they were only padawans their minds were open to the force and capable of powerful things, even though they currently needed help to utilize it.

"You will sink through the layer together." by now Mantic created a sensation of the floor slowly allowing them to glide downward. Naturally it was not real, this was an out of body experience, one that would grant them keys to places they could not visit otherwise.

[member="Rafeesh"] [member="Aston Jacobs"]

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh hardly noticed the transition of [member="Mantic Dorn"]'s voice to mental words. He concentrated himself inward as best as possible, while still maintaining enough awareness to understand his master's commands. He tried to create a mental image of what he had been told of. He was sitting on his very being, not the physical but the mental. He imagined it as a room of sorts, filled with strangely shaped databanks. Beneath him was his mind and soul, he imagined them as a softly glowing bluish orb of light.

He focused on that particular part of him, pushing the memories away as he looked to his inner most being. He was not able to open it to himself, he could not see what was hidden within. He instead sank into it, as Mantic spoke. He felt the presence of his master, but he did not distract himself with wondering what he might be doing. He felt himself slip beneath the layer of his mind, much like slipping under water. It was very strange, very alien in feeling, almost too real. He was curious as to what was hidden in this place, but it still remained a mystery, even when he was within it he did not understand that which he saw.

[member="Aston Jacobs"]

 

[Mantic Dorn]

The floor of the level simply seemed to swallow them up.
Quickly they found themselves almost dragged through the floor, as if invisible threads were controlling their descendant.

With that both padawans found themselves alone.

A blackness had lowered itself over the room.

In the distance a dripping sound vaguely broke itself free from the otherwise thick silence.

Having blinked a few times the dim lines of their bodies started to become visible.

Alone in the dark there was barely any telling of direction or size of the immediate area.

"Welcome my love." a hissing voice suddenly sounded. It was silent yet powerful. Coming from nowhere and everywhere.

"You need to tell me your secret loved one. Tell me what you fear..." it continued before falling silent leaving nothing but an imprint of utter and complete helplessness floating in the air.

Spoiler

[member="Rafeesh"] [member="Aston Jacobs"]
Due to very different posting times we will treat this individually to avoid too long waits for either part. Almost as if we had two seperate threads. Post away in your own time.

 

[Rafeesh]

Panic did not set in until after Rafeesh had listened to the sound of drops for a few moments. He wondered what this was. This was quite the out of body experience compared to what he was used to when dealing with the Force. He tried to focus on his connection. He noticed only the vague outline of the other two, but he could no longer see how far or close they were. He stayed motionless as he tried to feel the Force.

That was when he heard the voice. Alien and most definitely strange. Was it the voice of the Force? How could it be that? This sounded sinister to him, like the voices of the Sith in the old days. It told him to share his fears. He could feel those returning. The fears that he buried, those that he hid from all. He had run from them, holding off the conflict that would inevitably come. He did not answer, instead asking a question, "Who are you?"

[member="Mantic Dorn"]

 

[Mantic Dorn]

The darkness welcomed [member="Rafeesh"] into its endless void and offered soothing comfort and strength without pain or suffering.

"We are the truth. The one that you now exist deep inside you despite what the blinding light keeps telling you. Search your feelings and contribute some to your own need. You can take the power needed and leave this wretched path. It is what you have always wanted.... " the voice hissed in response.

Around [member="Rafeesh"] a blackness thicker then walls established itself. Two red eyes opened themselves in the far end, throwing a burning sensation into [member="Rafeesh"]

Something was coming.

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh felt apprehensive. There was something about the voice. He would have assumed it was related to the Sith, the corruption on the body that he had seen in the old Sith Empire had easily been evident in almost every physical part of the person. Often the voice had become raspy and hiss like. He could no longer decide whether this was the real enemy, or simply a simple representation. Was this that which he had to fight, or was it a friend in disguise?

He had to think, but his thoughts were seemingly muddled. He heard the words, he felt a good feeling, but there was something off. It felt like an eternity before the words actually reached him and he understood them. The truth that he knew was within him, that was buried deep within his being. It was part of the Force, the light blinding him to it. Yes. The Dark Side was stronger, it was the truly powerful. What he had here was not the same strength that the Sith had. That was true. However, there was a different strength between the two.

That was where there was a fine line of truth to lie. The darkest of powers were stronger from a different way, the light was a power of its own. "What do you mean?"

[member="Mantic Dorn"]

 

[Mantic Dorn]

From the darkness a black mist swirled forth, slowly taking shape as its red eyes held a steady gaze upon [member="Rafeesh"]
The presence of the dark side grew by the minute and while Mantic was near by in his physical form there was no trace of him to support [member="Rafeesh"] on whatever this was.

The cloud rose and slowly extracted legs, feet, arms, hands...

A dark reflection of the inner essence of [member="Rafeesh"] finally stood before him.

"We can return to the truth, you and I, let me show you the truth." a red saber ignited from the entity's black hand.

 

[Rafeesh]

As the mirror became real Rafeesh felt chilled to the bone. As he had hoped against this was himself. The old one, the one that would have been if he had continued down the path of the Sith. Perhaps if he had not been put in stasis he would have been this. Rafeesh wished he had his saber again, even though he knew that it would have been useless against this enemy. That was something that he had lost and forgotten over the years.

He had become proficient at fighting the physical enemy, he could handle himself when fighting with a blade. But this was beyond physical, this foe could not be beat back by lightsabers or using the Force. This was the enemy that would shake his beliefs. He had to stand firm. He told himself over and over that he was to be a Jedi. He was a warrior of the Light, more than that he was a defender of the Light. He would fight the darkness, he had taken that path.

"I know the truth, your way is no longer my way. I will not go back down that path." He felt strong at this point, but he had not yet been tested.

[member="Mantic Dorn"]

 

[Mantic Dorn]

there was a brooding silence following [member="Rafeesh"] s declaration. Only the vague sparks of the burning red eyes could be heard. then a hissing breath blew forth a cloud of foul darkness over the aspiring jedi.

"Then kill me....." it suddenly roared. "I will not leave you unless you finish me. But you wont, because you need me. We need each other!" Its voice being filled with dread and hatred. A concoction that ran across the edges of the dark walls that appeared to be closing in.

Looking down at the cloud that had been blown toward him it was dissolving. Leaving a hilt in the hands of [member="Rafeesh"]. The hilt of a lightsaber.

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh closed his eyes and braced himself against the wave of darkness that swept over and past him. Rafeesh felt the weight of a lightsaber in his hand. He could strike the darkness down. He could and would beat it back until only the light remained. But, he wondered if the evil was right. Was it part of him? Was it so integral to his being that there was no way to remove this? Was it like a cancer that had become to overgrown that he could no remove without destroying the organs that were so important to him?

His lightsaber slowly ignited. He raised till it pointed to the ceiling of this dark place. "You are no more a part of me than a leach is part of its host." He was trying to convince himself as much as fight this enemy.

[member="Mantic Dorn"]

 

[Mantic Dorn]

The black entity raised his hands to protect from the expected strike.

"You kill me! You kill the truth!"

"Go on then, live your lie!"

It whimpered and crawled before [member="Rafeesh"] waiting for what seemed to be the innevitable end of the creature.