Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Convergence


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Eloise had fallen back asleep in the time it took Arcturus to bring Beholder in to connect with Leviathan. As such, as they made their way through the tunnel with a view to the jellies, and across the threshold from one ship into the other, he had the girl carried in his arms. He couldn't blame either of them for their sleepiness, they had been through hell and back, though Marcus walked alongside Ishani and rubbed at his eyes as opposed to snoozing like his sister.

Leviathan was rather quiet, the steady hum of the engines not withstanding. It had halted its position along the lane so that they could dock, but now Arcturus reached out through the Force and saw to it that it began anew. Paths had, of course, been altered, where once it had been a rather aimless crawl now they were locked in for Kal'Shebbol and from there? Well from there Tribunal Station awaited. The end of their journey together, for now.

It would take quite some time though. Which brought Arcturus to the more nerve-wracking part of this entire ordeal. He redirected his attentions through the Force along the ship until he found who he was looking for, than gently nudged Tamiko mentally. Giving her a heads up before he spoke into her mind. When you're free, please come to the lounge.

Already he was leading Ishani and the kids that way. Well, not so much leading; Ishani knew the way.

"Are you hungry?" he asked Marcus, casting his gaze down to the boy once they reached the lounge, "Or are you more sleepy?" He set down the few items he'd been carrying in his free hand, mostly just a bag with some of the kids things in it, then nervously waited for the arrival of his Apprentice. As each second ticked by he wondered if he shouldn't have put the kids to bed in one of the crew cabins first, but truth be told the last thing he needed was for either party to unexpectedly run into one another in the middle of the night, unsure of who they were.

After all, Arcturus had only really stated that they'd be having guests. It seemed like something best stated when face to face. But maybe he'd made a severe lapse in judgement.

Tamiko Sabo Tamiko Sabo Ishani Dinn Ishani Dinn

 
All that was visible of Eloise was a mane of red curls, her face pressed against Arc’s shirt as she slept. Ishani watched them in the shifting lights of Leviathan’s corridors, her eyes tracing the curve of his neck as he angled his head around the little girl’s on his shoulder.

Marcus tottered along beside her, led by his mother’s hand. The boy began to perk up as he looked around at yet another ship’s interior, this one larger and more grand than Beholder. A question from Arc made him nod his head. “Yes. I want some food, then I go sleep.” He made a vague gesture with his free hand as if to reach for something, then added, “Please.”

Ishani exchanged glances with Arc, then moved toward the kitchen with steady familiarity. She already knew where everything was, barring any changes he might’ve made in the interim (which it looked like there were none; to her recollection, everything appeared achingly the same). While he ate the snack she gave him, Ishani sat Marcus on her lap in the lounge, memories swimming in her eyes.

“There is a girl here like Miss Persis,” Marcus said, in-between licking his fingers.

Really?” Ishani asked. Persis Solusar was a friend of Ishani’s family. “How do you mean?

“She’s blind and has magic in her, so Daddy is teaching her how to use it.”

Did Daddy tell you that?

Marcus nodded. “Her name is Tomato.”

That was enough to shake Ishani out of her nostalgic blues. “Are you sure about that?

“Daddy said that her name is Tomato," Marcus repeated with absolute conviction.

 
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Amidst Arcturus's absence the girl had taken to filling the time before his undisclosed return rather restlessly. Moving through a constant rotation of drills to keep her mind and body busy, she passed moment to moment with a shroud of utter concentration, wielding her lightsaber against invisible opponents.

Then, in all abruptness, the solitude was broken. A beckon of the force waking her mind. Instinctively she straightened, lightsaber subsequently extinguished and slung in the hold of her belt.

You're back.

Returning the acknowledgement, she couldn't help but lace her tone with blended surprise and expectancy. He'd better have a more than passable explanation ready.

His departure had been closely guarded, uncharacteristic but seemingly appropriate for the broiling emotions that swept him in the moment. Whatever had drawn him away was a deeply personal matter. No one had to point that out for her.

Pushing towards the lounge, wisps of accompanying prescenes gradually strengthened, confirming what Arcturus had vaguely prepared her for. Company. However rushed and dismissive he'd been with his warning it did achieve its intended purpose, channeling her anticipation.

The short time she was given to deliberate, she made use of, steeling her mind as she made her approach. With mechanical hiss, the door parted just in time to hear the last breath of conversation.

Her name is Tomato.

Reeling in her immediate confusion, the girl remained guarded, arms crossed and expression almost unreadable. Was that a kid? Straightening against the doorway she blinked quickly assessing the arrangement. Three guests, two considerably young. Their impression on the force didn't relinquish much the girl was attuned to discern, but it certainly gave her something to grapple with.

He'd brought kids with him? Suddenly hyper aware of her appearance, scars and all, she shifted. Quickly blinking up towards Arcturus with an equally leveled and prodding look. "You've been busy."

She cocked her head towards the woman with speculation then dropped her misted gaze to the twins, held protectively by both parents. Who were these people? Specifically who were they to Arcturus?

Leaning against the door frame, the girl regarded the newcomers,"Welcome aboard." Quirking an eyebrow she kept an even expression. "Suppose introductions are in order?"

 

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It was the tiny please that got him, though evidently not before Ishani took charge and led him into the galley to fetch some snack from the cupboards. Good, so she did remember where everything was. He watched the pair of them for a moment, his hand gently settled against the back of the girl in his arms. If he hadn't been a ball of nerves he might have grabbed something to eat himself.

Marcus began to speak then, explaining to his mother that there was another person on the ship. Arcturus nodded his head to that, having already explained as much to Ishani back on the Beholder, yet when the boy recalled the name of his student he couldn't help but choke back an amused laugh.

Tomato?

Was that really what the boy had heard?

His chest rose and fell rapidly with mirth, as much as he tried to keep it from doing so lest he wake the sleeping babe. No sooner had the words been uttered than Tamiko appeared, no doubt having heard the little boy's incessance at her new name.

Arcturus dipped his head into a brief bow toward her, obviously hindered by the child he held, then gently gestured her into the room. Instead she settled against the doorway; he supposed that was a fair compromise.

"Busy? You could say that" he remarked back at her, turning gaze from student to family, then back again. He owed the girl a true explanation, having ran off in a rage with barely a word uttered. "You've had no trouble in my absence, I hope?"

Then, after hearing her response if she even saw fit to give one given the circumstances, a small sigh escaped his lips.

"This is Ishani," he stated with a gesture toward the only other woman in the room, "And these... Are our children. Marcus, and Eloise." He nudged his head toward the boy, then gently tapped Eloise's back. "I did not mean for you to meet them under such circumstances, and certainly not without prior explanation, and for that I apologize profusely. They were kidnapped, by slavers; that's why I left in a rush. And that's why they are here now."

A lot to take in, he allowed her time to do so. Then turned slightly so that he was addressing Ishani and Marcus at the same time. "Ishani, Marcus, this is Tamiko" he said, sounding the name out to avoid further confusion on the part of his son. "She is my student, and this is her home. We'll all be respectful of that fact, okay?"

Another glance back to his Apprentice. "I understand it may be disruptive to your studies, but it's imperative that I see them safely to the Kathol Outback. Have you ever been to the Outer Rim, Tamiko? I'm sure we'll see many wonders out that way." Awkward. Why was this so awkward?

Oh, maybe because he'd never said he had a partner, nor children... Maybe that was why, Arcturus. You fool.

"We'll keep up with your training while they're here, I just can't promise the ship will be quite so quiet."

There was more he wanted to say, of course, but such things were probably best left until the kids were in bed.

Tamiko Sabo Tamiko Sabo Ishani Dinn Ishani Dinn
 
"You've been busy."

Ishani's eyebrows shot up, a suggestive smirk on her lips even as she stared at the floor.

She remained otherwise quiet for the majority of the rambling introduction by Arcturus. It was awkward for him, she could tell. He probably had never mentioned her or the kids to Tamiko before.

"Her name is Tamiko, not Tomato," Ishani whispered to Marcus. The boy grew suddenly shy upon realizing his mistake, hiding against his mother's side as he finished his snack. Like his sister, though, it was clearly past his bedtime.

With a sigh, Ishani patted his back and finally looked up at Tamiko. Perks of talking to a blind person; you could get away with not making eye contact, as had long been Ishani's habit when meeting new people. The girl was young, in her late teens, and sported wildly curly black hair. Her face was heavily scarred, and it was clear that her blindness had been caused by injury rather than a birth defect. Something about her told Ishani that she suffered no bullshit from anyone.

So she decided to be frank. "Things are... complicated and messy right now, though we've come to something of an agreement. A compromise." She paused, realizing what all this sounded like, before pursing her lips and continuing on. "You may wind up seeing more of us in the future, but we won't be around all the time. I'll... make sure the kids respect your privacy." To the best of her ability, anyway.

 
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In response to him asking is she’d faced any trouble, the girl shrugged. Far more interested in whatever explanation Arcturus was biting back, "Course I wouldn't." Being stranded in the middle of space was as uneventful as it was isolating.

Glancing over at the woman as Arcturus mentioned her by name the girl regarded Ishani before splitting her attention to the kids. With every ounce of suspense, the truth parted from his lips, drawing the connection between him and the twins. It was difficult admission, ridden with more complexity than she could fully discern. So much history she wasn't wise to.

Shifting from the doorway she tried to cut through the choking atmosphere with a loose remark, "Didn't strike me as a family man."

A moment elapsed before Tamiko could fully blink away the look of surprise washing her face. An apology quickly followed, then an explanation. They were refugees. That certainly added an angle.

Why leave them in the first place. Refraining from voicing the question, she instead stifled her skepticism. Certainly some part of him cared about the three individuals scattered about the lounge.

She'd seen it herself. The rage he brandished when their safety was threatened.

Maybe sith lords didn't make for great dads, but Arcturus? Her gaze dropped to the figure of Elosie snug in his arms. "Sounds like everyone's been through a lot."

He then outlined their travel plan, to escort them to the Kathol Outback. Going as far as to ask if she'd been to the Outer rim. The improbability of that was likely forgotten in Arcturus' mild state of anxiety, worried how her judgment would manifest. The standing assumption being she hadn't been offworld before him. In reality it was a step closer to home. She was quick to bury the thought.

Instead she nodded before loosening a dry chuckle, "Yeah, I'm familiar." Personally seen enough of it.

Ensuring her training wouldn't be postponed it was clear he felt out of control of the unfolding situation. Attempting to offer some semblance of damage control. The girl didn't pass judgment. She couldn't find it in her to penalize the suddenity of it all.

Then Ishani spoke for the first time, and as such gained the girl‘s attention. The woman carried herself well, words straightforward and diplomatic, harboring an air of calculation.

She called their arrangement a compromise, an obvious euphemism embellishing what was sure to be something of an emotional battle. Whatever relationship existed between the two was strained, evidently tested.

The girl nodded, "We'll have time to sort through things." In other words she'd push for information when the kids weren't hanging around. Additionally she shrugged, "There's more space than we know what to do with., I’m sure your welcome to make yourself comfortable."

Ishani whispered something to Marcus, causing him to withdraw shyly. With a flash of understanding the girl loosened a small chuckle. Tomato huh? Seemingly prompted to cross the threshold, her arms unfolded.

She approached the pair, briefly glancing up towards Ishani for something akin to confirmation before crouching to the kid‘s level. She rested her elbows on her thighs. Whatever he and sister had been through in the past few hours? days? -couldn't have been easy. It never was when it came to slavers. Some of her own fury ignited at the thought, the cruelty they'd been exposed to. She'd do what she could to make him feel safe.

"Hey lil' man, long day huh?" Keeping her tone gentle, she barred any of the storming thoughts brewing between the adults. Save that for the right environment. "I'd be exhausted if I were you." With a reassuring look she placed a hand on her chest as emphasis. "We won't keep you up talking all night if you'd rather sleep. You'll need the energy to explore around tomorrow don't you think?" With a loose smile she continued, "By the way, Tomato sounds like a respectable nickname."

 
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"Good" he stated, "The lanes aren't always so peaceful." Stalling... Stalling... No longer.

In the wake of the revelations, he watched as his Apprentice pushed away from the doorway with an accompanying snarky remark he'd come to expect from her. Even if it was just a front, an attempt at normalcy to cut through the tension, it was a welcome respite. "Never took myself for a teacher, either, and yet here we are..."

He could tell that she had questions, her curiosity was often as unquenched as his own. It was what made them a solid pair, in truth, there was nothing quite like having your inquisitive nature rejected so to see such flourish was a nice change. Credit where credit was due, however, Tamiko did not immediately pry.

Yet all the same Ishani was a little more forthcoming with information. Still vague enough that the children couldn't really make heads or tails of it, but still. A little further insight. Arcturus glanced between her and Tamiko, then let out a small relieved sigh. It was going better than he'd expected, for now at least. While there were two little distractions pleasant.

With any luck it would remain this calm.

He watched as his student stepped into the room and approached Marcus. In that moment her entire demeanor seemed to shift. His head tilted gently to one side as he observed the interaction between the pair, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of familiarity in the way Tamiko spoke to him. With more of his memories now available to him, it brought him right back to Ession, to the younger brothers he'd kept watch over like a third parent.

All the trappings of an older sibling.

His eyes met Ishani's and he smiled a small and hopeful smile. Still tense, but easier to come by now.

"Why don't we get these little one's to bed, then we'll talk more." Stepping over to the trio, he settled a hand on Tamiko's shoulder for a moment before reaching out to ruffle Marcus' hair. "Provided that snack was enough for you?" In his arms, Eloise stirred just the smallest amount; his hand returned to her back.

"I'll get her tucked in..."

Arcturus turned then, pausing only to swipe the bag of children's items from the dining table as he passed it by. There were a couple of unused cabins on the ship, crew quarters with stacked beds. One had been used by Melydia Gold Melydia Gold whenever she was around, and likely still held some of the girl's belongings. So for now he took the sleeping child to the room across from that, where just two bunks lay. Perfect for the twins, he reckoned.

It didn't take him long to settle her in, though untangling her arms from around his neck was certainly a difficult task. After settling a kiss atop her head - and presumably Marcus' if Ishani brought him in after him - he took a moment to breathe. Then he returned back to the lounge.

"Tea? Caf?" he asked the both of them as he approached the open galley, clearly unable to just sit still for now.

Tamiko Sabo Tamiko Sabo Ishani Dinn Ishani Dinn

 
Marcus shook his head. “You don’t look like a Tomato.” Then, as Arc asked him if he’d had enough, he said, “I want… three more of this.” He held up his empty snack wrapper.

Three more? You can’t eat that many,” Ishani said.

“I can eat them all,” Marcus insisted.

Ishani compromised by giving him one more, then handed the boy a napkin to clean his hands and face. She was worried he would refuse to go to bed, as three year olds were wont to do, but he didn’t protest as she carried him to the bunk and tucked him in.

As if in a dream, she watched Arc kiss each of the children good night. When he straightened and exited the room, the two of them briefly stood alone in the corridor. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, realizing she had nothing noteworthy to say yet about Tamiko or anything else. Besides, she was better off staying quiet as long as she was afflicted by this overwhelming nostalgia. Everywhere she looked, it seemed, she saw something that inspired bittersweet longing for a simpler time.

So she simply walked alongside him back to the lounge, where he offered drinks. “Do you have hot chocolate?” she asked. He knew she disliked both tea and caf.

 
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The girl straightened as Arcturus and Ishani guided the twins to bed. Halving the parental responsibilities wordlessly. It allowed her to gleam a side of her master she'd been blind to. It didn't take a connection through the force to sense the war waging in his thoughts. The weight of his mind only slightly alleviated as the twins finally rested from the chaos.

Alone in the corridor Tamiko blinked over towards the woman, words dying on her lips as some inner turmoil drew her inward, facing down some emotional barrier the girl was a stranger to. The current situation wouldn't be dealt with seamlessly, they were in for something of a long night.

Before she could dwell on it they headed back to the lounge, Arcturus immediately offering the two a drink. It was some social buffer, anticipating the incoming fallout. "I could go for tea." Leaning against the counter top, the girl turned the rim of her cup before lowering it to the table.

There was a lapse of silence heavy with apprehension, mostly on the part of Arcturus, which prompted her to speak.

"Cute kids." Her gaze flickered up towards him,"Guess your mysterious past is finally unfolding. “ She shifted along with her disposition, eyes searching the floor before returning to the two people before her.

"I won't dance around the subject. I could probably be more delicate but-" The girl glanced over towards Arcturus then Ishani, "I doubt either of you would appreciate stiff formalities at this point." With a stabilizing look she blinked up towards her master, "You've never mentioned having a family. I thought you were-" directionless? That's how Arcturus had sold himself anyway, but he apparently had roots. A future to invest in. "Well, not one for domestic life."

"Are you a part of their lives at all?"
 

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Back out in the lounge, Arcturus busied himself with the hot drinks, two teas and a hot chocolate, then handed then off to their relevant parties. Held his own mug within two hands, and drew upon the warmth which emanated from within.

Silence. He sipped at his tea, then frowned and moved to the cupboards in order to fish out some honey which was hidden in the back. Added a touch, tasted it a second time, then seemed satisfied. Stirred it longer than was necessary...

Heck, he might have even gone so far as to handwash the spoon if not for Tamiko breaking the silence. All at once he felt guilt writhing within his stomach, she shouldn't have had to be the one to do that. He was being silly.

He faced the both of them, setting his back to one of the counters, and tried to consider how best to broker the subject.

"I hadn't met them until I took them from the slavers" he explained first and foremost, clinging to his mug for dear life. "Four years ago I was transported from my bed in the middle of the night, and thrown into the Nether." He half lifted his left hand, and wiggled his index finger where a ring lay. No point in really doing the whole gesture, since she couldn't see, but with any luck she'd sense it through the Force. It certainly had a distinct impression at the very least.

"Trip courtesy of the ring," he stated, eyes shifting to Ishani. Then he frowned, seemed confused for a moment... "But, I told you that already didn't I?" Yes, yes he had. No matter, he looked back toward Tamiko. "I was stuck there for... four? years out here. Longer in there. In that time the Academy Ishani and I belonged to fell, our Masters fled into the shadows, and unbeknownst to me lost within the depths of Chaos, she discovered that she was pregnant. Four years... A long time had passed by the time I reemerged looking no older than the day I stepped inside."

Had she eyes to see, she'd notice the clear difference in age. Not hugely noticeable, but he still had that teen vibe going for him, while Ishani.... Well, Ishani had settled into motherhood beautifully. All at once he found he couldn't really look at either of them, so his eyes strayed through the doorway and back toward the bedroom that the children were now sleeping within.

"I eventually found her on Coruscant, through a mutual friend. She seemed like she had her life in order, and at first she didn't even mention the twins. And when she did?" He swallowed, adam's apple bobbing up and down as he did. "She's going to try and claim otherwise here, Tamiko, because she only wants to see the good in me, but... I'm not whole, you have to understand this. I've spent too much time in the Nether, and I'd be lying if I claimed my studies into the Force weren't -- aren't -- corruptive."

A small pause, no doubt finding that either one of them might have something to say about that.

"I panicked. I'm ashamed to admit it, in truth, but I never claimed I wasn't a coward. The idea of threatening their purity put my feet to the pavement, and I didn't stop moving until about a week before I met you. Right back on Coruscant... I found my Master there, and he snapped me out of the stupor I'd drank myself into. I swore I'd stay away from them, keep them from my influence, but... The Galaxy had other plans. And only in meeting them did I realize my own folly."

He reached out to set the mug aside, then crossed his arms defensively. "Ishani said there's a compromise we reached. A way to ease my concerns, without denying them a father. They'll join us every now and then, or we will join them. Training will continue as normal, but we'll have time together and then they'll have time away from any further corruption that seeps into me."

It was only then that he looked at Ishani.

"I know you don't believe me, I know you think I'm paranoid, but I also know you sensed what's inside of me now. Ever since Tash-Taral..." It wasn't even really Ishani who could cast judgement at this point, though, she'd aired her concerns, and fought to remain, and the compromise was the result of such. Tamiko, though... What would his Apprentice make of all of this? Would she see him as foolish, too? Irresponsible? For a moment his heart skipped uncomfortably as he acknowledged the possibility that she might choose to walk away.

Could he blame her?

Tamiko Sabo Tamiko Sabo Ishani Dinn Ishani Dinn

 
The mug of hot chocolate warmed her hands, but the moment the smell hit her, wafting up with the steam, her stomach twisted. Abruptly she became hyper-aware that she was in the lounge of Leviathan, and as Arcturus was soon to point out, he hadn’t aged a day. If not for Tamiko’s presence, she could almost pretend no time had passed at all…

Tamiko demanded answers, pulling her out of her reverie, and Arc began to answer. Ishani just stood there, holding the cup without drinking its contents. Ah well, it would’ve tasted better with whipped cream anyway.

She tried to settle into all this with the detached perspective of a historian or an editor—there to listen and perhaps fill in the gaps where he skimped on details. But his words dragged her down memory lane, from waking up to an empty bed one morning at the Academy, to the fall of the Sith Eternal and her flight from Korriban. Four years. It felt like nothing now, a blink, a breath.

Ishani may have filled out her clothes, but her face still had that quality of untouched innocence which Arc had labeled ethereal at their first meeting. It would probably stay with her all her life, as it had with many of the women in her family. Her voice, too, was soft and girlish, and she’d grown no taller, the top of her head barely reaching Arc’s chin.

For the most part she’d shown little reaction to his little spiel, but “she seemed like she had her life in order” provoked a slight wince. Little more than the rapid blinking of her eyes, as though batting something away. It was followed almost immediately after by the ghost of a smile as he complained about her desire to see only the good in him. Well, one of them had to love him, after all.

She was already looking in his direction when he turned toward her, her fingertips idly stroking the sides of the mug.

"I know you don't believe me, I know you think I'm paranoid, but I also know you sensed what's inside of me now. Ever since Tash-Taral..."

"I know what you've said, and I know there is something in you." She shrugged. "But I have yet to see it in action, and you say you have it under control."

 
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The girl let Arcturus explain without interruption, mulling over his words with a faint look of contemplation. Her eyes traced the ring as he brought attention to it, the small band laced with residue of the force. Unearthing revelation after revelation she caught the slight hesitation in his pauses. Until he finally relented to the uncertainty of it all, laying his cards on the table.

Surprise shadowed a more prevalent look of consideration as Arcturus elaborated, unveiling what he'd intentionally or otherwise kept hidden from the girl.

Tamiko regarded him. Her Master suddenly transformed into a far more conflicted man.

It was plenty to think about. She certainly wasn't sure what to make of everything that had been said. Of how her perception of her Master gradually shook in the moment. It could almost be seen on her face, weighing his series of admissions with differing levels of gravity.

But his past and the change to follow was an easy pill to swallow. Whatever insight it provided didn't curb the trust between them. He was trying to rectify circumstances out of his control, not at all absurd. But at his mention of not being whole, that his time in the nether changed something within him, her gaze shifted. Corruptive studies huh?

After Ishani further added to her skepticism the girl turned towards Arcturus with the first real flicker of mistrust.

"Tash-Taral? What are you talking about?" Her hand loosened from the cup's handle, withdrawing into her seat with calculation, "What's corrupt about you? What are you afraid of your kids being exposed to?"
 

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"You didn't see it?" he stared at the woman pointedly. "You think I just magicked my way past all those slavers? That, what, I suddenly became a master swordsman overnight?" If she hadn't realized then at least he'd done a better job than he imagined he had. Arcturus supposed he'd cleaned himself up a little before he saw Ishani on that ship, if only for the sake of the kids, but still... Their path back to Beholder had been marked by barbarous remnants of the slaver's he'd slain along the way.

That he'd been able to draw back sense enough to face the children was probably more a testament in her favour. He was in control, somewhat. Sometimes. Where it mattered, evidently. But largely? Well... He didn't know. It was too soon to tell.

Now wasn't the time to argue it though, he realized. No, Tamiko had picked up on another part of what had been said. He pursed his lips, and inhaled slowly through his nose.

"Before we left, I saw an old friend." Could he really claim Velok was a friend? Probably not, no, but it was easier than explaining their real connection which was strange at best. "I'd had you go on ahead. He was, uh... Selling wares." Wares, is that what they called that now? "Boons, really. Bring a part of a creature you've felled, and gain some of its power. It seemed so... harmless at the time."

Arcturus shook his head. "I didn't even stop to ask. Don't do that, even if you know the person peddling. Don't blindly trust... Terentatek," he sighed when he said that word, "Gave me the boons of a Terentatek. Resistance to their venom and poisons. Pretty sweet, huh? Yeah, well, the other part not so much. Funny thing about Terentatek, most Sith creatures in fact, they have a peculiar tendency toward all things Force Sensitive... A hunger, you might say."

He turned his head up toward the ceiling, unable to meet either of their gaze.

"I have it under control. Mostly. Certainly none of you are in any danger, I wouldn't remain in your company otherwise. But between that, and corruption inherent from the Force? I'm not someone they need to be around like that. Corruption spreads, maybe not immediately but with continued exposure? No, they're getting a chance at a normal life. That's final."

Ishani Dinn Ishani Dinn Tamiko Sabo Tamiko Sabo

 
"You didn't see it? You think I just magicked my way past all those slavers? That, what, I suddenly became a master swordsman overnight?"

"You had to have spent your time in the Netherworld doing something," she muttered. But he had a point. The pirates' bodies had been viciously mutilated. She'd sort of blocked the entire affair out of her mind, unwilling or unable to deal with the trauma yet. Hm. On the other hand, she'd seen how violent he could get when something threatened her. The mermaid he'd killed with blood magic sprung to mind. "I thought you were just really, really pissed at them. As you had every right to be."

Probably none of them were Force Sensitive, so it wouldn't make sense for him to be, uh... eating them. Consuming their energies? How exactly did this work, anyway?

Ishani finally took a sip of her hot chocolate (now more akin to warm chocolate) and listened to him reiterate the story of the terentatek boon/curse for Tamiko. Something within her bucked and kicked in a futile rage, remembering the look on his face when he realized he could've just stayed with her and the kids from the very beginning, and avoided all this bullshit about curses. His impulsivity had probably done more damage than any other force in his life. Granted, she was just as bad, tearing down the life she had built in his absence to build a new one around him as soon as she learned he had returned.

She was still here, too, even after learning her love had become, essentially, a cannibal. Or a vampire. A zombie? A lich? The Human Terentatek™?

Did that make her crazy?

…Yeah, it made her pretty fething nuts. Oh well. She was already the obsessed psychotic ex-girlfriend. The more she thought about it like that, the less likely it seemed that the twins would have a normal life regardless of whether Arc stayed away. What even was a "normal life" anyway? Was she really that much more stable and responsible than he was, just because she wasn't corrupted by the Dark Side? Feth, if she went back to her alchemy studies, how long was that going to last?

Eyebrows rising, she took another sip of chocolate, then said, "Whatever you think is best, babe."

 
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A hunger for force sensitives? She blinked the bewilderment from her eyes. Not only that but Arcturus considered himself too corrupt to be around.

"You should've told me." The words were direct. "Secret family? Sure, I can get behind that. But not-" She shook her head, gaze scraping the floor before returning to meet Arcturus, "Don't keep me in the dark. I've already made enough leaps of faith as is."

She looked over at Arcturus.Watched as he fiercely pushed away the potential of a nuclear family out of fear he'd taint them. Ruin their chances at some semblance of normalcy.

Dabbling in the dark arts, skipping planet to planet?

No, not normal. Probably not even healthy. Kids needed stability in their lives, some foundation to cling to, that much she knew. But nonetheless it seemed radically unfair to deprive Ishani and the twins of a completed family.

Tamiko blinked at the two, trying to read their converging maelstrom of emotions.

There was no unbridled anger. No overt resentment pushing them apart, only circumstances. Circumstances creating an unscalable barrier. Though that's not to say one might try and dismantle it. After all Ishani seemed rather reluctant of Arcturus's conclusion. She could see the sense in such a reaction. Watching as the pain ebbed and flowed from the two quietly. Dreams of a future dying with every word.

She was an outsider to the woven tragedies of their relationship. A third wheel in possibly every aspect. And as such she acknowledged her opinion as void. The girl's gaze shifted to Ishani. What would Arcturus's decision make her? A single mother charged with raising two kids in some nondescript "stable" household. Nearly an impossible task to be sure. Only made harder by the knowledge their dad, while entirely competent as a father, was nearly unavailable. Off in some unspecified region of the galaxy raising someone else's kid.

If Ishani felt any way about that, Tamiko couldn't discern it. Trying to tame her own twinge of guilt.

"So that's it then? You'll go be a stand-up dad every now and then, while minimizing whatever spiritual damage you believe you're somehow a conduit of?" The girl shifted in her seat, hands clasped around the mug "And that's the best case scenario."
 
He lowered his gaze back from the ceiling, to look upon his Apprentice. Guilt was borne anew within him, and he solemnly nodded his head. "I should have," he stated, "but at the time I was more focused on keeping it at bay, and once I had my means to..?"
Arcturus sighed. They were just excuses, weren't they? Explanations with a truth to them, sure, but they did little to change the outcome. "I'm sorry. Navigating all of this is as new to me as it is to you, but you are correct. I should have made you aware. It was wrong of me to keep you in the dark, and I will strive to do better going forward."
If she chose to stay.
Would she?
Uncertainty gripped him like a vice by the gut, and he swallowed the lump in his throat.
Her closing statement just added further salt to all of the wounds already shared. Was that it?
"I don't know what's best" he confessed, slumping back against the counter once more. A hand was raised and he ran it with an exhausted grace down the length of his face. Pinched the bridge of his nose in the process. "Everything seems at odds with one another, in conflict. I don't know how to be all the things I'm supposed to be, I need to be. I wish, for their sakes, there was another way. Truly I do."
A Father, a Partner, a Teacher, an Alchemist, a Student himself... So many converging paths. Dedicating to one took away from another, and each came with their own pitfalls and struggles. Truth be told, Arcturus felt as though his brain might explode, or melt, or...
"If anyone knows of a way to make it work, I'll forever be all ears. But until then..." Well, until then this was what they had. "I am sorry. Both of you. All of you. You deserve better than this."
 
Tamiko was clearly upset about having information withheld from her, and so she spoke somewhat harshly. But Ish realized belatedly that her own careless statement, whatever you think is best, had likely done the most damage. She’d meant it as a quick, simple way to sweep all the technicalities aside and show that she’d accepted the conclusion he’d drawn, especially after she’d spent so long trying to undermine his choice to stay away from her and the kids. That was her source of guilt—that she hadn’t loved him enough to respect his decision, to let him leave without pursuit.

Granted, it had been a stupid decision in her eyes, motivated by kneejerk fear and uncertainty rather than anything logical. Now the alternative she’d fought for wasn’t even an option anymore.

Arc turned away, admitting he didn’t know what to do. What if there was something better, and they just weren’t seeing it? Wouldn’t that be a tragedy… one tragedy too many.

How she wished she could simply stay with him. Tamiko didn’t really pose an obstacle—Ishani didn’t care if she lived on the ship with them. The girl could stay here as long as she wanted. It was this whole corruption thing that seemed to be the one remaining roadblock.

It wasn't just the terentatek boon poisoning him spiritually. That didn't afford him enough benefits to be worth losing his family over. It was much more than that. A lifetime of suffering, personal demons piling up. Training, and being trained in the Dark Side. Maliphant's legacy to him, and Arc's endless thirst for knowledge. That was the real curse that was impossible to break. But she couldn't take that away from him. It was part of who he was, part of what had made her love him in the first place. They were both still dopey alchemy students, talking about their projects in front of the fire, laughing and kissing over Nether tattoos and imbued perfumes.

Leaving her mug behind, Ishani slowly approached him. He stood facing the counter, his back to her. She sidled up beside him, looking at his downturned face in profile. “I say give it some time,” she said. “Don’t rush any of this. Take things slow, don’t be impulsive… and maybe something better will present itself eventually.” How much time he would need to figure things out, she didn't know. But she was willing to give him all her time, if that was any comfort.

Probably not, if he thought she didn’t deserve this.

Reaching out, she laid her hand against his cheek, her touch gentle and feather-light. "Hey. You've done your best. Really. I don't have all the answers, either. But sometimes that’s just the way it is."

 
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She let her futile distrust and confusion thrash around in the confines of her mind a moment longer. Only quieted as Ishani cut through the atmosphere with a few softly spoken words of reassurance. She blinked up at the women skeptically, watching the tender moment unfold, written in some unspoken language. Comfort, yeah that was probably the more appropriate less self-absorbed response. Her eyes fell to the floor in a moment of self-reflection trying to clear the mental fog wrapping her mind. She could hardly be envious of the position Arcturus found himself in, of the burdens piling on his shoulders. Biting her tongue she felt a twinge of guilt at offering anything besides support. There didn't seem to be any cure-all answer ready to surface. In all honesty Tamiko couldn't fathom a direction to go in. Whatever Arcturus was now faced with was painfully skewed.

"She's right." Tipping her head over towards Ishani in acknowledgement she loosened her hold on the caf before crossing her arms over her chest, gaze shifting. "I mean you don't need me to be an nerf herder about things, you've already punished yourself enough."

Her gaze fell from Ishani to Arcturus as they stood in a moment of calm. At least Ishani had at least some sense in how to navigate the present situation. That she could feel appreciative of. "I wouldn't know where to go from here either but-" her shoulders slumped slightly as she searched for the right thing to say, "-I trust you. Trust that you'll manage your way through this sensibly enough." God being supportive was a stiff position. One Tamiko clearly wasn't a master of. Nonetheless she felt conviction in what'd been said, she'd meant it after all.

Clearing her throat, her gaze dropped to her caf.

Arcturus Dinn Arcturus Dinn Ishani Dinn Ishani Dinn
 
A visible weight seemed to lift from his shoulders as both of them gave their support in their own way. Neither was going to turn tail and run, not yet at least, neither had dubbed him incompetent and rejected him outright. There were misgivings, of course, and a desire for things to be otherwise, but at least for right now they could find a path forward through it.
So much lay on the table between them now that it was dizzying. Where Maliphant had always been so closed off with his students, Arcturus seemed to be having the opposite problem. He could only hope it would not damage the integrity of their Apprenticeship for her to realize he was just another mortal man who made mistakes and did stupid things in the heat of the moment.
"It's been a long day" he finally remarked, after a minute of silence had been left between them. "Unless there are any more questions, or pressing concerns, I suggest we retire for the night. Regroup in the morning..."
He didn't move to leave immediately of course, he really did intend for there to be an open floor in case anyone wanted to speak about something...
 
Well, that was that.

A few things were still left hanging, the future was uncertain—but Ishani felt a little bit better about it all. She’d been worried that her presence would be enough of a turnoff to cause problems. She certainly didn’t want Arcturus to lose his apprentice because of her, so she was glad Tamiko was sticking around.

It was late. There wasn’t much left to be said or done, and her body was begging for sleep in an actual bed. Not that Arcturus' lap hadn't been comfortable, he just could only sit still for so long. “No questions or concerns,” she said, letting her hand drop from his cheek to his shoulder. “Do you want me to sleep with—I mean, uh, where do you want me to sleep?

 

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