Private Absolution

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra crinkled her nose. "But that's boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring." She picked up the coffee and slurped, the caffeine inside it not going to help her one bit. She looked a little more awake sitting there before him, her eyes fully opened and her responses more expressive.

"Why don't we just go back to bed and call it a day, it's like. The same thing," she reasoned, face crinkled in distaste. Rewards or not, this was not going to be easy. He had taken the bull by the horns, and this was going to be a ride.

Any other lesson would be like child's play after getting through this with her.

Loathed. Loathed. Loathed. Loathed.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Pfft...-That's what all Students believe".

Caedyn rolled his eyes, knowing full well it was also what he had believed once upon a time. "Meditation is the gateway to all greater Force related skills, such as how I was able to take hold of your blade without being burned" he reminded her, "AND...-Also how to have a sparring match with another student, while replaying it out all within your shared connection while neither of you are actually moving; reaping the benefits all the same".

"People only say it's boring until they actually connect with the Force, and then their whole world opens up. Sensory abilities, precognition, astrogation...The possibilities and the limits are only set by you yourself..." he explained, his words fading momentarily before adding "But hey, if you don't want to know what kind of secrets are in this head of mine, it's no skin off my nose".

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

"Astrochahcation...?" She echoed, her voice going distant. His expressive words had captured her attention. In a turn of events, it was her turn to try and keep up with what he was saying. She reeled back in place, a spark of eagerness igniting in her chest. "No wait! I wanna do that!" Whatever that was.

"And I didn't even touch your nose- thats a stupid saying," she dismissed, shuffling a little more comfy on the ground. She tried to pull a nonchalant posture, looking down and picking at the ground.

"But I don't see how that has anything to do with meditation. Your eyes weren't even closed when you touched my blade. I'm not stupid, nice try."

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn laughed softly in response.

"Well of course they weren't, I'd have caught your blade in the face had they been" He joked, though truth be told he could probably have still fended her off were that the case. "Meditation doesn't require people to close their eyes, but it is the easiest way and is the best starting step for all students. As you move on, you can learn to meditate through simple repetition, doing exercises or practices that you can meditate alongside" the was far more to the subject than Kyra might have realized, learnings that would come with time, and further practice.

"In any case, let's begin" Caedyn suggested, holding out his hand in gesture to her "Now close your eyes..." he encouraged, soon placing both hands upon his knees, relaxing his posture and closing his eyes first so that she might not feel foolhardy or vulnerable for doing so.

"Remembering our first step..." He spoke calmly and gently, "Our breathing. In slowly, hold and then out slowly".

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra did not close her eyes. She squirmed, her lips pursing in a pout. She watched him for a long moment, then reached out and waved her hands in front of his face to check if he was looking.

"Kaaaay," she drawled, acting the part of someone trying to calm down.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"If you were to succeed today, there might be a time where you will learn to see things in a manner different from that of visual sight" Caedyn explained, "Just as I know now that you're hardly taking this as seriously as you ought to, Padawan" he referred to her by her title with a tone of a more cautioning demeanor. There were many ways of learning about the subject, some more interesting and engaging than others. She didn't want to test him.

"Please return to your position and give this a serious attempt..." He encouraged her, "We can do this the fun way, or you can be assigned an essay requiring study and my eventual marking of said paper" Caedyn remarked. On the inside, he could imagine himself grinning. The thought was highly amusing, although he wasn't inclined to show his amusement to his Padawan of whom would no doubt take it as a personal affront.

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra made a face, dropping her hand into her lap as she was left thoroughly chastised ... and grumpy for it. "No fair, that's cheating." She wiggled, squirming back and forth with each leg as she readjusted.

Her lip fell into a heavy pout, the girl frowning at the master before she very begrudgingly closed her eyes.

A dramatic breath in and out was taken. She peeked out, watching to see if she could catch him opening his own. She huffed and closed her eyes again, squirming in place.

"..It's not working," she complained.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Be patient"

Caedyn's reply was calm and short. Despite the frustration of Kyra Perl , the Jedi Knight sat in place already having attained a trance and established his connection to live within and outside of the environment they shared.

"Don't fight the exercise. Calm yourself. Listen to each breath. Take note of how your body feels. Forget about everything else" he encouraged her, and while she ought to be talented by now at acting as though the world revolved around her, Caedyn was prepared to be sitting there for quite some time yet.

This wouldn't be a five minute exercise.

 

[Kyra Perl]

"It feels like it wants to get uuuuuuuuuup, do we have to do thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis?" The answer was evident. She hated him for it. She gave a desperate look around, eyes not closing again. Off in the distance, she felt the sparking energy of two padawans sparing. She wanted iiiiiiiiiin.

As the minutes passed, her squirming picked up in desperation. Her energy built and gathered in her chest, coiled there, the little zeltron unable to find the calm within. Kyra whined.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"This could mean the difference between your becoming a Jedi Knight one day, or your becoming a farmer within the agri-corps".

Caedyn's words weren't a threat but the truth of it all; a Jedi relied upon the Force as their guide. It was their saving grace from what would otherwise be certain death when facing off against the Sith in one on one combat, or being shot in the back when they might otherwise sense the shooter through precognition and turn to deflect the blaster-fire.

"Even if you were to write me a ten thousand word essay on the subject, you would be required to prove that you have adequate control in the Force".

Caedyn's right hand rose from his knee without interfering with his meditation, his will reaching out to the Force and initiating the locking mechanisms on the entrance to the arena.

"Focus. You are here, within this room, as should your concentration be".

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra sputtered in pure indignation--"Farmer- I would never!-- Ten thousand?? What are you-" She looked behind her, following the sound of the door being locked over her shoulder. Her express fell, deadpan.

"I could still unlock that, you know." The challenge was soft spoken, but delivered none the less. The girl turned back to him, eyes open, brows furrowed in contention. Speaking back would get her no where good here, she knew it well. But it was a welcome change from the silence, so she reached out her hand pulled with the force, trying to trigger the lock to undo itself again.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"If you cannot meditate, you have little chance of deterring my hold over the entrance, Padawan".

Caedyn remained where he was, still his eyes were closed and he remained unmoving. However she might be trying, his patience was just as permacrete, his emotions and mind placid. He was the embodiment of Calm.

"You should know that I can sit here for hours. I would guess even days, however the longer we do this, the less time we have for saber practices".

The room was sealed and Kyra Perl lacked the experience to override and relinquish Caedyn's control over it. The longer she planned on fighting him, the longer they would be spending together and in the absence of other tasks that she might otherwise have enjoyed.

"I thought you might have realized by now that your stubbornness gets you nowhere with me".

 

[Kyra Perl]

We'll see about that! Kyra gave a frustrated huff, standing up and storming to the door herself. She reached out, physically turning at the lock with her fingers.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Unfortunately, Kyra Perl would find that the locking mechanism within the doors frame itself would not budge. It was as though someone had cemented the interior, or more to the point, something was keeping it from unlocking with an iron grip.

Caedyn's consciousness had grown in his connection to the Force and he could feel everything that was going on around them. There were Students who were training with one another, lessons and classes being taught my Caedyn's fellow Knights and Jedi Masters, and yes, Kyra Perl's frustration heightening as she would find herself failing to get one up over her Master, yet again.

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra kicked at the door, her fuss bursting out into physical violence. “Arg!” She growled, turning on him.

The urge to pitch a fit— to dive head first out the window— It all came slamming back into her. The intention coiled in her muscles, the girl abruptly feeling trapped by her own inadequacies. She looked towards the windows way, taking a sudden step towards it.

But then she clamped down, stopping in place, as she remembered just what was at stake if she obeyed her emotional whim.

Her jaw worked, the girl simmering.

Did she want to stay or go? The question suddenly felt much heavier.

“...uuuuuuugg!” She complained, kicking over her empty cup as she came to stand over him.

“Let’s saber practice now.” She demanded.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Kyra Perl managed to incite an emotional response from Caedyn, however it wasn't large nor nearly as dramatic as the Girl's own. A quiet sigh escaped his lips as he sat there, eyes remaining closed yet now having to contend with an outburst of emotion that the Padawan should've known well better than to display.

"You will not be participating in any form of practice with that attitude" Caedyn informed her, "Nor would you be fit to handle a tool as volatile as a Lightsaber". Aggression, violence, she had acted out and while not directly in the expense of her Master, she had kicked her cup and sent it scuttling across the room.

"If you wish to behave like a child, then perhaps you would also like me to start treating you like one" Caedyn further warned her, giving her the choice however with an ultimatum, "Or you can retrieve your cup, take your position and follow my instructions. It's up to you".

 

[Kyra Perl]

It was a battle of wills, the struggle between them palpable as the padawan glared down at the meditating master. A surprising amount of force was abruptly thrown at the hold on the door, the strength raw and uncontrolled, containing unpolished potential. Kyra grunted, giving single minded focus to the battle of control. Which was more than could be said about any of her performances before, her effort in that moment unmistakable ... and fueled by frustration.

She could only maintain it for a few moments, her puffed out chest deflating as the power burst away from her and scattered like the wind. She flopped to the floor, slumped over in a melodramatic show of defeat.

"S'no fair," she grumbled, turning her cup right side up and pouting at the ground.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"You wouldn't be having such a hard time if you put some effort and time into your training, but you seem determined to be lazy and expect the benefits to happen for you without actually earning them" Caedyn pointed out, bluntly.

Sitting there, meditating still, his emotions remained entirely calm both inside and presented upon the out. However that did not mean that Kyra Perl wasn't beginning to ware his patience or that she wasn't succeeding in frustrating him. He simply refused to let these emotions influence his actions and behavior as she was so impulsively driven by.

"You say you wish to become a Jedi Knight, yet I haven't seen any sort of commitment or dedication to your hopes and dreams of becoming one. You can blame me or others around you but how well you do here within the Order is entirely up to you" he explained. Truth that she needed to hear and understand, regardless of whether she didn't like it or not.

"This is a two way street. I can give you my time, teach you all that I know but you need to put in the effort as well".

 

[Kyra Perl]

His words, while earned, brought frustrated tears to the surface. "I'm trying," she protested softly, and he might be surprised to sense she meant that. The tools he placed in front of her, she couldn't use. Her out burst wasn't malignant, it was inevitable. Asking her to sit and grow calm on her own accord was like asking a non force user to move water with their mind.

The world was too loud for this untrained empath. The sparking determination from a padawan sparing a master sat in her chest. The tears of young girl, missing home, tugged at the corner of her subconscious. Caedyn's own frustrations were like a veil, laying over her like a sheet that tugged and pulled at her own experiences.

The world was not calm, so she wasn't either.

Every attempt to close her eyes was dashed by the next emotion-- not her own. The world was colorful, blindly so, and shutting her eyes did not block it out. She could not tell him this, she didn't understand it herself. She had only been in one other person's mind before, and she had just thought his perception of things to be particularly dull. She could only make noises of frustration as she squirmed on the floor, failing to direct her thoughts anywhere for long.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"You're trying to compete with me" Caedyn countered her, finally opening his eyes too look upon his Padawan. She had met him at every turn, at every suggestion and even every question as though it was an affront to her very being there within the Silver Rest. Things were not going their way, and while her response was to naturally find ways about fighting the given situation, Caedyn's was to find an alternative means for which would work for them both.

She did not trust him, not understand him. Something that Caedyn also struggled when it came to understanding her torrential emotional impulses, those which seemed to shape and control her. It was these very impulses that she needed to learn to rise against, to look beyond.

It wasn't something that Caedyn thought was very bright, or responsible for a Jedi Knight to do, yet compromise for the betterment of the pair of them was what he hoped would bridge the gap between the two. Kyra Perl would notice a change within Caedyn, a sudden vulnerability in which had not formerly been present. In a turn of events and one he himself felt very wary of, he had completely let down his cognitive guard, his mental wall that kept others from prying into his personal life, or reading and seeing that which he held dear.

Intentions, memories, goals for the future, current and past relationships and associated feelings; as well as the traumatic times such as the Sith Empire's invasion of Commenor, the first experience he had held of a real wartime scenario, dozens slain before him. His duel with a Sith, and his and Asaraa Vaashe 's desperate attempt to escape the Capital, Chasin City. All that and more.