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Public A Totally Serious Invasion Of Coruscant [non-canon] [open to all]

Dorthea Dobson

Chief Director of Damascus Station
Literally five minutes before the coruscant security shift-change…

HMS Karen, a mighty vessel of both immense mass and boisterous attitude, slapped into existence as she exited hyperspace. The ship seemed to arrive out of no-where, dropping out of hyperspace into a loading zone, and then "waltzing" right into the Coruscant protection perimeter. The local security forces of the planet were simply flabbergasted by the ignorance of such an obnoxious entrance. So much so, that they just sat there and wondered what a ship with such a wide aft could possibly hope to accomplish by jumping in so close to the planet's defences.

Dorthea Dobson, woman of the navy, and known negotiator, stood on the bridge of the mighty HMS Karen. She was exceptionally irritable due to her current assignment. She had never conned a vessel this size before, and was not entirely clear as to what her mission parameters were. She was a logistician and a diplomat by trade, and had never endeavoured to study anything regarding commanding a proper warship. That, and her orders had simply been, "take this ship, and go invade Coruscant."

After that, all of her inquiries had been stone-walled.

The HMS Karen had a notoriously slow hyperdrive, forcing it to take over a month to get here. Along the way, she had been suddenly ordered to make a pit-stop to pick up a "package" of some kind. The aforementioned "package" had been a group of unidentifiable robed individuals that, once on board, had kept to themselves.

Once the ship was in position, Dorthea ordered her equally confused Comms officer to open a channel to the Coruscant security command. She began speaking, "This is Lieutenant Commander Dorthea Dobson, Captain of the HMS Karen. I demand to speak to your leaders at once!"

(OOC: happy April fools everyone! Jump on in if you like and have fun! No rules!)
 

Jsc

Disney's Princess
Dorthea Dobson Dorthea Dobson

Meanwhile, somewhere on Denon. . .

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A Totally Real Thread
Tags: Dorthea Dobson Dorthea Dobson , God, etc...

Mr. Nine was back home on Coruscant, sitting in the room of his family's apartment. Nine, of course, was doing what any reasonable adventurer would do on their off time: Game. For the last ten hours, he had been playing the totally canon and lore accurate action shooter Star Wars Battlefront 2 while eating an unhealthy amount of off-brand spicy chips. After a while, his holo-communicator began to chime.

"Hello, Mr. Nine speaking," Nine answered.

"This is Senator Obama of the Galactic Alliance," the voice said. "We currently have a planetary crisis on our hands and are in need of your assistance."

"That's stupid," Nine replied with an eye roll, "And this isn't even canon. Why the hell should I care?"


"We have chicken nuggets?"

"I'm on my way, sir," Nine stated in a smoldering tone.

The Umbaran grabbed his jetpack, jumping out his window and flying to the top layer of the planet.
 
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"Doofy" Dobson

Guest
D
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Meanwhile, on Tattooine, a search was on for the ulitimate treasure. One that would ensure that Doofy was the rightful ruler of the Galaxy! Or at least, Coruscant which everyone knows was the center of the Galaxy and what everyone wants.


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And everyone wanted Doofy. I mean, how could they not?? He just oooooooozed with charisma, hos behind was PERFECT and no one would have predicted that HE could think up such a genius plan of having the HMS Karen invade Coruscant. The unpredictability was the genius behind his plan. What would seem like a joke was really fully serious!

And he couldn't wait to see the looks on their faces when HE takes control!

Dorthea Dobson Dorthea Dobson
 
Tommy the Grandmaster, now in full rage, began it release his ultimate power.

The Anime Ceasing / Destroying Machine appeared above Coruscant as well. But there was no intention to take over the planet.

No, Tommy simply played Big Balls over the speakers. All of Coruscant would listen to its beauty.

This would be a good day for Tommy the Grandmaster.
 
A Totally Real Thread
Tags: Dorthea Dobson Dorthea Dobson , hado hado , @God, etc...

Mr. Nine was on a starship with cloaking, a one man fighter intended for infiltration. A voice came up on the coms as he stuffed his face with chicken nuggets, the first half of his payment.

"Nine Leader, are you there?"

"Yes, sir, Mr. Obama," Nine responded after swallowing his first handful.

"Good," Senator Obama replied. "The vessel in question is attempting to make contact with the senate as we speak. To stall her time, we rerouted their transmission to the line of some 'hado house,' or something like that. Intelligence believed his enticing deals would distract the invading force for long enough to let you slip onboard."

"Go'it," Nine mumbled, stuffing more nuggets into his mouth. "Then wuh?"

"Unfortunately, intelligence hasn't gotten that far. Blow something up or whatever. This isn't cannon, so there aren't any real consequences for your actions."

"Alright," Nine shrugged. "Guess it's for the nuggets."

Before long, he had landed in the docking bay of HMS Karen.
 

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CORUSCANT
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible." SEQ. 75 - "INTRO TO BARRY" INT. BENSON HOUSE - DAY ANGLE ON: Sneakers on the ground. Camera PANS UP to reveal BARRY BENSON'S BEDROOM ANGLE ON: Barry's hand flipping through different sweaters in his closet. BARRY Yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black...oohh, black and yellow... ANGLE ON: Barry wearing the sweater he picked, looking in the mirror. BARRY (CONT'D) Yeah, let's shake it up a little. He picks the black and yellow one. He then goes to the sink, takes the top off a CONTAINER OF HONEY, and puts some honey into his hair. He squirts some in his mouth and gargles. Then he takes the lid off the bottle, and rolls some on like deodorant. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Barry's mother, JANET BENSON, yells up at Barry. JANET BENSON Barry, breakfast is ready! CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 1. INT. BARRY'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS BARRY Coming! SFX: Phone RINGING. Barry's antennae vibrate as they RING like a phone. Barry's hands are wet. He looks around for a towel. BARRY (CONT'D) Hang on a second! He wipes his hands on his sweater, and pulls his antennae down to his ear and mouth. BARRY (CONT'D) Hello? His best friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, is on the other end. ADAM Barry? BARRY Adam? ADAM Can you believe this is happening? BARRY Can't believe it. I'll pick you up. Barry sticks his stinger in a sharpener. SFX: BUZZING AS HIS STINGER IS SHARPENED. He tests the sharpness with his finger. SFX: Bing. BARRY (CONT'D) Looking sharp. ANGLE ON: Barry hovering down the hall, sliding down the staircase bannister. Barry's mother, JANET BENSON, is in the kitchen. JANET BENSON Barry, why don't you use the stairs? Your father paid good money for those. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 2. BARRY Sorry, I'm excited. Barry's father, MARTIN BENSON, ENTERS. He's reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE, "Queen gives birth to thousandtuplets: Resting Comfortably." MARTIN BENSON Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, Son. And a perfect report card, all B's. JANET BENSON (mushing Barry's hair) Very proud. BARRY Ma! I've got a thing going here. Barry re-adjusts his hair, starts to leave. JANET BENSON You've got some lint on your fuzz. She picks it off. BARRY Ow, that's me! MARTIN BENSON Wave to us. We'll be in row 118,000. Barry zips off. BARRY Bye! JANET BENSON Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! CUT TO: SEQ. 750 - DRIVING TO GRADUATION EXT. BEE SUBURB - MORNING A GARAGE DOOR OPENS. Barry drives out in his CAR. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 3. ANGLE ON: Barry's friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, standing by the curb. He's reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE: "Frisbee Hits Hive: Internet Down. Bee-stander: "I heard a sound, and next thing I knew...wham-o!." Barry drives up, stops in front of Adam. Adam jumps in. BARRY Hey, Adam. ADAM Hey, Barry. (pointing at Barry's hair) Is that fuzz gel? BARRY A little. It's a special day. Finally graduating. ADAM I never thought I'd make it. BARRY Yeah, three days of grade school, three days of high school. ADAM Those were so awkward. BARRY Three days of college. I'm glad I took off one day in the middle and just hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM You did come back different. They drive by a bee who's jogging. ARTIE Hi Barry! BARRY (to a bee pedestrian) Hey Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Barry and Adam drive from the suburbs into the city. ADAM Hey, did you hear about Frankie? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 4. BARRY Yeah. ADAM You going to his funeral? BARRY No, I'm not going to his funeral. Everybody knows you sting someone you die, you don't waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hot head. ADAM Yeah, I guess he could've just gotten out of the way. The DRIVE through a loop de loop. BARRY AND ADAM Whoa...Whooo...wheee!! ADAM I love this incorporating the amusement park right into our regular day. BARRY I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. CUT TO: SEQ. 95 - GRADUATION EXT. GRADUATION CEREMONY - CONTINUOUS Barry and Adam come to a stop. They exit the car, and fly over the crowd to their seats. * BARRY * (re: graduation ceremony) * Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under * the circumstances. * They land in their seats. BARRY (CONT'D) Well Adam, today we are men. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 5. ADAM We are. BARRY Bee-men. ADAM Amen! BARRY Hallelujah. Barry hits Adam's forehead. Adam goes into the rapture. An announcement comes over the PA. ANNOUNCER (V.O) Students, faculty, distinguished bees...please welcome, Dean Buzzwell. ANGLE ON: DEAN BUZZWELL steps up to the podium. The podium has a sign that reads: "Welcome Graduating Class of:", with train-station style flipping numbers after it. BUZZWELL Welcome New Hive City graduating class of... The numbers on the podium change to 9:15. BUZZWELL (CONT'D) ...9:15. (he clears his throat) And that concludes our graduation ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries. BARRY Are we going to pick our job today? ADAM I heard it's just orientation. The rows of chairs change in transformer-like mechanical motion to Universal Studios type tour trams. Buzzwell walks off stage. BARRY (re: trams) Whoa, heads up! Here we go. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 6. SEQ. 125 - "FACTORY" FEMALE VOICE (V.O) Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. (in Spanish) Dejen las manos y antennas adentro del tram a todos tiempos. BARRY I wonder what it's going to be like? ADAM A little scary. Barry shakes Adam. BARRY AND ADAM AAHHHH! The tram passes under SIGNS READING: "Honex: A Division of Honesco: A Part of the Hexagon Group." TRUDY Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco, and a part of the Hexagon group. BARRY This is it! The Honex doors OPEN, revealing the factory. BARRY (CONT'D) Wow. TRUDY We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks bring the nectar to the hive where our top secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent adjusted and bubble contoured into this... Trudy GRABS a TEST TUBE OF HONEY from a technician...

- @Bofadeez - @Ligma -

 
Son of a bi***!

Those were the first words that left Felix's mouth as he hit his head on the exhaust pipe of the speeder bike he was working on only to look up to the sky and see a massive...what the hell was it? Some new Star Destroyer? Felix shook his head slowly, then rolled his eyes, grabbed the wrench he came out from under the speeder to grab, then went back under to finish the job he had started. This one paid big, some politicians were sponsoring a racer and they chose Felix to tune up the bike before the big day. In return he'd receive 180,000 credits and a front seat to the race itself, which would be a well-deserved break that he normally wouldn't take due to its' 25,000 credit price.

Of course there was a little more to the story...he was mixing something into the fuel, but it wasn't technically illegal, and he wouldn't be caught. It certainly wasn't the worse he had done, and he wasn't crossing the lines he had drawn since leaving his "family"...
 

Dorthea Dobson

Chief Director of Damascus Station
hado hado Tommy the Grandmaster Tommy the Grandmaster Toby Russen Toby Russen

Location: HMS Karen, the command bridge.

Loud music thrummed distantly from beyond the transparisteel viewport of the bridge. The whole ship seemed to vibrate rhythmically to the sound of "Big Balls" and it grated against Dorthea's blossoming headache. She rubbed her right temple with her right hand in irritation as she sat in her chair, waiting.

"Comms. Any response from the planet's surface to our hails?" Dorthea asked impatiently. She began tapping her fingers of her left hand on the arm of her chair in annoyance. At least we're not getting shot at yet…

"Um…" the comms officer seemed to hesitate.

"Spit it out…" Dorthea murmured.

"There… is a response, Captain. From a… laundry company that sells pharmaceuticals? Every time we try, they seem to be the only ones to respond…" his voice was mildly incredulous.

"Oh." Dorthea murmured. We actually could use a decent laundromat… "Are they offering any promotions?" She blurted her question out loud without thinking.

"Umm" the comms officer seemed confused.

"I mean…" Dorthea blushed in embarrassment, "after… we conquer… the…" she burried her forehead into her right hand. This headache was killing her…

"Do you just want me to ask them?" The comms officer must've decided to soldier on, in spite of the ridiculous nature of the situation, "I can keep them on the other line and run inquiries while we keep trying for the senate with the main line if you want."

"Um… yeah. Do that. Maybe see if they have any loyalty programs for…" she began to say.

"Captain! The enemy has entered us!" The sensor officer announced frantically… then his face flushed in embarrassment, "I… I… I mean, the enemy has… entered… or… boarded our… aft hangar bay…" a look of disbelieving defeat clouded his eyes as he resigned himself to the ridiculousness of what he just said. There was no fixing it.

Dorthea furrowed her brow in confusion, ignoring the man's obnoxious verbal gaff, "are you serious? How can anyone even fit in there? The aft hangar bay is way too tight."

The whole bridge staff just turned to stare at her.

She burried her thumb and forefinger into her forehead, "I kriffing hate this stupid ship…"

"Um… Captain" one of the internal comms officers spoke up, "one of our… special guests that we picked up is offering to help deal with the intruders. He claims to be able to deal with them himself."

Dorthea removed her hand from her forehead but closed her eyes as she felt the pressure from her headache thrum louder still, "does he seem reliable?" She asked in mock glibness.

The internal comms officer's voice remained firm, "I think so ma'am. He says, and I quote, 'I am never going to let you down'."

She cocked her eyebrow and sighed as she opened her eyes slowly, "well that's a pretty bold claim I guess. Whatever. Give him the go ahead to head down to the aft hangar bay and confront the intruders"

"He says he's already there, ma'am" the officer replied.

"Good"

Dorthea noted that the other previous comms officer was already quitely talking to the laundromat about deals and promotions…

************

Location: HMS Karen, aft hangar bay…

As the intruding ship touched down on the hangar bay floor, a lone hooded figure stood and watched. His arms were crossed and his hood was kept low to hide his face. He waited until the ship opened up and the enemy piled out into the hangar space. He dropped his arms to his sides and strode towards them with smooth confidence.

He stopped a few paces away from the arrivals and then pulled his hood back. The handsome face of the Clone Of Darth Caedus was revealed, and he spoke in a mellow tone, "Let's dance."
 
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"Doofy" Dobson

Guest
D
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Brick and Wall stood silent as they always did, standing watch to make sure that Doofy didn't make a (complete) fool of himself. There were rules that only they knew that Doofy was to follow. But it wasn't as though they'd tell him. Brick and Wall never said anything.

Ever.

Doofy found that utterly annoying!! At least he had his sock puppet trio. And then there was his bestest buddy (and psychic!!) in the whole Galaxy.....the one and only.....

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STARGAZER THE GREAT!!!

"I have foreseen it, Doofy! The scroll is there with your picture on it! They have to keep loooooookiiiiiiiing!"

"Righto! The Karen should be already preparing the way! What better way to win the masses than their rightful heir saving the day?! There IS no better way! Because I am a genius!"

Dorthea Dobson Dorthea Dobson
 
A Totally Real Thread
Tags: Dorthea Dobson Dorthea Dobson , hado hado , @God, etc...

"Pew, pew pew," Nine narrated as he fired his blaster, which was lacking sound effects. "Kriffing budget cuts," he sighed. "This is why spin-offs don't work."

Using his jetpack, Mr. Nine zipped through the HMS Karen, uncanonically dispatching opposition as he did so. It was all for fun, so he didn't have to worry about the ethics of taking lives just this once. Before long, however, Nine came face to face with a fearsome foe unlike any he had seen. Clad in robes, microphone stand in hand, and a funky beat in his step. Nine knew he was looking at a Sith: the infamous Clone Of Darth Caedus.


he spoke in a mellow tone, "Let's dance."

"I knew this wouldn't be easy," Nine sighed, his shoulders drooping.

"I'm gonna make you cry," the clone decreed. "Say goodbye!"

"That's where you're wrong," Nine snapped back, a grin across his face. "I've been trained in your melodic arts by the ancient Sith lord Michael Jackson."

He lifted his hat, revealing a microphone and a single silver glove. Fog began to set in and Nine began to slide his feet in place as if the laws of friction no longer applied to him.

"Prepare your sickest beat," He told his opponent. "Our battle will be legendary."
 

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