Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private A Little Piece of You


Amani's Corellian 1500
Over Tython
It felt odd, not having the children with them.

For weeks on end, Alicio and Amani hadn't had a moment alone with each other. Either they were together, caring for August and Liana, or one of them was away at work, and the other had their hands full with twins, or they were both working, and the babies stayed at the Temple. It had felt like forever since the two parents had been together, apart from their fledgling family.

Alicio didn't feel relieved about it, as nice as it was to be with Amani without distraction. Instead, a little part of him worried about Lia and Aug. He wondered if they should have taken the twins with them, despite the tipped balance of the planet they emerged over, and the possible dangers of a previous Maw incursion. But his conscious mind pushed those thoughts aside. He wasn't about to lead his children into danger.

The Count frowned out of the viewport of the cockpit, at the morning greens and refreshing blues of Tython, marred by a deep, angry scar on one side of the planet. Bogan rested to their right, while only the shattered remains of Ashla hung suspended in space to their left. Even from here, the wild tastes of the Force confused his senses, the planet's natural maelstrom only intensified by it's recent imbalance.

"Do you still remember how to get there?" Alicio went to stand behind Amani as she worked the controls, resting his hands on her shoulders, giving her as much comfort as he could. "The farm?"

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
It felt quiet without August and Liana around.

Not just in the literal sense. Their absence was an emptiness. The bond between parent and child ran deep, but even Amani, who had taken so enthusiastically to motherhood, hadn't expected the longing she now felt to be with her kids again.

Alicio was here, thankfully. He grounded her. Even though his presence also amplified the peculiar feelings surfaced by this journey. Just the two of them. She'd almost forgotten what that was like.

Tython was no place for the children. Not yet, at least. Not without knowing what the surface held. Even this long after the battle, it had been in a state of flux. The Force was already known to have a volatile presence on the world, but now it was amplified. The scar was the worst of it. There was no telling how other areas had been affected since. "…Yeah." The weight of years clung to Amani's simple answer. She drove the ship through the atmosphere, heading towards a region close by, though not quite in, the scar.

They took a scenic route, avoiding the brunt of the storms and approaching the valley from relatively low altitude. The hull rattled through the clouds, but nothing worse came of it before they pierced the veil and found the surface. Chains of mountains spaced apart by stretches of verdant valley. In the distance, the western horizon turned glooming. Ever-shifting storms and flashes of silent lightning marking the site of Tython's near destruction.

"Here," Amani suddenly said, taking the ship lower. They passed a large, resplendent lake, beside which signs of settlement could be parsed. Whether abandoned or inhabited, was less discernible. But their destination took them beyond the village, to the center of a gold and green valley. As they came lower, a lone structure became visible among the natural landscape. The Serys farmstead.

Amani lowered the ship at the outskirts, and waited at the ramp. It dropped, revealing a field of long grass, moving hypnotically against the gentle winds. It was exceptionally quiet. Like the valley had been holding its breath ever since that fateful day.

 

Alicio's grip on Amani's shoulders tightened only briefly as the ship broke through the clouds, and the Count was transported back to his first visit to the planet. The refugee camp. The Sith Lord Attack. Amani...

Alicio maintained a silent vigil, staring out the viewport in solemn contemplation. He had visited once, and already he harbored so many mixed feelings, gazing at the chaotic colors of Tython. He could only imagine what memories were flashing behind Amani's eyes, seeing her homeworld for the first time in ages.



Alicio seemed to grow more present, standing a little taller as the ship descended into a valley, setting down gently, so as not to disturb the fields of gold. Alicio waited a moment, to take in the sight, before offering a hand to Amani, and walking with her down the exit ramp, until they were waist-high in rustling Tythonian grass. There was no whistling birds, no lowing of grazing beasts, no sounds of industry, none of the joy that Amani had described in the stories of her youth. It was quiet.

So Alicio would be quiet, too.


"...Whenever you're ready," he affirmed, squeezing her hand.

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
Amani took a deep breath that cut through the breeze, releasing it as she felt Alicio squeeze her hand. She turned and gave him a muted smile, then stepped forward, further into the grass. The sky was gray, but placid, lending to the frozen-in-time appearance of the landscape. Amani ran a hand through the grass, blades brushing her fingers before being swept back into the rhythm of soft winds.

In the middle of it all, an L-shaped, single-story home still stood. It was modest, dull gray but marked with scratchy remnatns of streaked paint. A dilapidated garden fence still half-standing, but whatever plants had been there last were long since decomposed, and overtaken by weeds, "This was what my mom liked to do. Grow flowers and herbs. There used to be a rainbow of colors here." Amani muttered wistfully, "I think she loved them so much because it was so different from Mirial. There's not exactly a lot of greenery sprouting out of frozen deserts." She then turned to the expanse go grass beyond, "The crops grew across the field out there. Once we harvested, we would take a trip to the town east of here to sell what we could. Everything else was for us. The trip to and back took the whole day."

 

Alicio kept a dutiful pace beside Amani as they approached her childhood home, feeling the silent wind tousle his hair, his dark clothes, even his connection to the Force. He strengthened the grip between his hand and Amani's, so as to keep either of them from blowing away.

The garden, long-since abandoned and overgrown, left Alicio with a feeling of loss he couldn't describe. He'd often compared cities to gardens- tending to them, giving them the nurture they needed, would let them sprout and bear fruit. But this garden hadn't seen care in years, and it showed in the wide leaves and ugly roots of weeds choking the life from the earth.

He couldn't bear to see a garden neglected.

Turning his attention to the fields around them as his wife did, Alicio let his imagination expand to the area around them, until he could almost see a family of three, walking along rows of tended grains, hand in hand in hand.

"It's... peaceful," he breathed, finding a small smile. "Maybe a little lonely, now. But you can't deny the view."

Finally letting go of Amani's hand, Alicio slipped past the broken fence, until he stood over the abandoned garden. Undaunted by the task before him, the Count got on his hands and knees, and began pulling weeds, tossing them over his shoulder as he worked.

"I'd like to... leave this place with a bit of color, too. If you don't mind."

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
Amani found a soft, melancholic smile, "Yeah… It used to be even better." When the sky was clear and blue. When the sunlight shimmered off the grass and the mountain faces that cradled the homestead. Tython had no shortage of inclement weather even before the battle, but now Amani could only reflect on what once was with wist. She'd happily sit through an angry Tython thunderstorm over the ghostly void that seemed to loom over the planet now. It reminded her too much of what had been lost.

Alicio stepped towards the garden, while Amani stayed awkwardly behind. She blinked a few times, her hand still stuck where Alicio had parted with it.

"I'd like to... leave this place with a bit of color, too. If you don't mind."

She blinked again, then smiled once more, "…Sure." Amani knelt beside him, and gingerly reached towards the first weed. She hesitated for a moment, as if afraid that disturbing anything within the homestead would break some kind of illusion. But what was there to break? If anything, this was the first step to returning things how they were meant to be. She steeled her resolve, and ripped out a weed. It felt good, so she kept doing it. Patches of soil began to clear up, free of the overgrowth, "I'm sure my mom would appreciate it."

"I think she'd have really liked you, too."


 

The pair of them worked diligently on the garden.

It wasn't easy. The weeds had been growing for years, but that didn't stop Alicio from giving it his all, hands and knees quickly soiled from the dirt he was digging in. Not giving his ruined clothes a single thought, the Count continued to clear out the flowerbed, until patches of earth began to peek out from the greenery.


"I'm sure my mom would appreciate it."

"I think she'd have really liked you, too."

Alicio pulled up another wide-leafed plant, taking the moment to look at Amani. "I think I would have really liked her, too," he returned, pausing a moment to wipe a crumb of dirt from his brow. Which, of course, only smudged more dirt on his forehead.

"What do you remember of her?" They had discussed Galar and Niah before but never so close to home, so to speak.

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
Amani stifled a smirk as Alicio dirtied his forehead, not even registering that she did the same thing to herself in that exact moment, "She was… a bit of a worrywart. Always looking out for me. Sometimes a bit too much. But she cared. Very motherly, and not just to me. Animals and plants were at risk of being smothered by her love," She chuckled, remembering a few distinct scenes from her childhood. "She might've been a bit… wary of you at first. But once she knew you were the real deal, I'm sure she would've given you the same love."

"In contrast to my mom's worrying, my dad was a constant source of optimism. He could find the good in just about anything. Pushed me to see more of the galaxy when I was older,"
Amani shrugged broadly, as if to say she had done so after all, "And he loved to make corny jokes. I'm sure you two would have also gotten along great."

 

Alicio paused his work, sitting cross-legged in the dirt to listen to Amani. A myriad of expressions fought for dominance on the Count's face, sadness, sympathy, joy, but eventually a timid smile won out over the others. "It would've tormented me, trying to get your mother's approval," he said, finally returning to his work with a little chuckle. "And I would have loved to sit out here, trading jokes with your father."

"But I'd like to think I've met them already, in a way."
His smile warmed. "I see a little of them both in you."

Finally, the garden was cleared of choking weeds. One more swipe of his brow deposited just a little more dirt on his face, as he finally stood up, and looked around. A few steps brought him up close to a couple of yellow petaled wildflowers, growing in the abandoned field. Using his hands, Alicio dug around the root of the plants, lifting them gently from their resting spots, and bringing them over to Amani.

"We can... get more, better flowers later," Alicio muttered, handing one of the wildflower plants to her. "But for now... I hope these will do."

He kneeled back to the garden, dug out a spot, and placed the flower within. After covering the roots, Alicio sunk his fingertips into the dirt, letting a little healing energy leech into the earth. His own little blessing.

With his work done, Alicio looked towards the front door of the house, then back to Amani, an unspoken question in his eyes.

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
Amani's lip curled up at the corner, "Mom had a pretty good sense for people. I think she woulda figured you out soon enough," She leaned over and touched her shoulder against Alicio's, "Like I did." She had dared to give him a peck on the cheek after only one night, after all. "Dad probably would've been overbearing in his efforts to be your friend. At first anyway." A chuckle, "I think it would be funny to see you trying to... acclimate." The introspective Count wasn't cold shouldered, but he might have been a bit overwhelmed by the father's gregarious nature.

"We can... get more, better flowers later. But for now... I hope these will do."

"Good. I'm glad," It meant a part of them was still alive. Something to be carried on even after they left this world too soon. "When I married you, I kept my maiden name, along with your name," Amani wrung her hands, "It's because… I felt like if I got rid of it, it was like letting the name go extinct. I want to at least carry that to the end." She looked at him, almost as if seeking approval for the decision. Not that it was required, nor that she thought she might be denied it. But it was a decision they hadn't dwelled on much before. Now she found the words to convey it. She was happy to be Amani Serys-Organa.

The garden was free of weeds, and Alicio handed her one of two wildflowers he excavated. They each planted them in the soil, next to each other, "They're lovely," Amani smiled, staring down at the flowers. Then, that left only the house. She nodded silently at Alicio, then turned toward the front door. Manually, she pulled it open, knocking bit of dust and dirt loose in the process. Light spilled in to the inside, revealing the entryway. It still had things scattered about, some likely disturbed by seismic activity or simply the weather of time. Old coats draped on a rack. A stand of umbrellas that hadn't seen rain in over fifteen years. Amani took slow, deliberate steps inside, as if not to disturb the scene. But even still she bumped into something on the ground. She looked down to see a small pair of lavender rain boots. Fit for a little girl. Amani sighed.

Beyond the entryway was the rest of the common space. There was no wall to separate them, each transitioning into the next. First, a cozy living room. Then, a quaint kitchen. All frozen in time. A hall split off to the right from where the kitchen was, leaving the wing unseen for now. More line crept through the windows, lending color to an otherwise muted scene.

 

"Those first few meetings would have been... exhausting, I imagine." He shrugged. "Especially considering... who I was, when we started dating." Stressed, uptight, constantly worrying about everything but his own happiness... How Amani had picked him to spend her life with, sometimes Alicio didn't know.

"When I married you, I kept my maiden name, along with your name."

Alicio kept his silence, as Amani explained her maiden name. He'd never asked her about that choice. Perhaps he'd never thought it important enough to address- perhaps some nobles would care, but Alicio had accepted it without question. But understanding her reasoning made him wish he had asked earlier. It was another shared experience.

"I understand," Alicio stated after a moment, meeting her searching gaze with a nod. "Believe it or not, I know how it feels to want to... bear a name. Continue a legacy." It was something they'd spoken about before, but Alicio hadn't thought to consider Amani would feel the same weight he did. "I wouldn't have expected you to take my name at all, if you didn't want it. But... thank you for having it, regardless." It did mean a great deal to him.

After their time in the garden, Alicio and Amani made their way into the house. Unlike the garden, Alicio didn't immediately begin tidying the area. Inside her old home felt... different. More sacred, in a way. This was where they had lived, a young family of three, nearly undisturbed since the tragedies of the past. History was practically thrumming in the air, radiating off of every pot of soil, every article of a little girl's clothing.

His eyes gravitated towards the hallway, a growing sense of gravity pulling at his heart, but he dared not take a step without Amani at his side.

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
"I know they would have been," Amani chuckled, giving Alicio an endearing peck on the cheek, "Hopefully they wouldn't have scared you away."

Of course Alicio accepted her decision. But she hadn't fully considered the shared mindset. But as he pointed it out, it made sense. He had spoken about the legacy of his family before. His desire to keep the name going. Especially being the last male of his line, in his case. At least, until August was born. "I very much believe it," Amani smiled, "And I wouldn't have it any other way." Taking his name was just as important to her as keeping her old one. In fact if she was made to choose, she would have taken the Organa name.

But she didn't have to choose.

Both of them fell silent when they entered the house itself. It was dusty, worn, and disheveled, but still strikingly familiar. Long faded memories, suddenly yanked to the forefront of Amani's mind. Scenes playing out in each room. She stepped into the living room, and sighed, "…My parents like to tell me stories in here. My dad especially," Her gaze fell to the unlit fireplace across from the couch, "Sometimes they were just made up stories. Sometimes it was something about him or mom. Or about Mirial, or Tython, or heroes like the Jedi," It was part of how she grew her fascination with the Order. Her dream to become one of them, "My mom liked to sew, and knit, too. I liked to help her with that. I don't think I was ever as good as she was though."

Amani's eyes suddenly flicked toward something by her feet. She leaned down, and picked it up. It was a picture frame, one that had fallen off the wall untold years ago and cracked. But the image inside remained. In the center of it was a young Amani, dressed in cutesy pastel overalls, her hair in two big buns atop her head. She was giving the camera a wide, toothy grin. Behind her, lifting her up, were both of her parents. Niah looked a lot like her daughter. More matured, a bit more gaunt as well. Like a more subdued version of Amani, but her radiance shone beneath her eyes. An undeniable, motherly joy of life and family that echoed through the stillness of a frozen image. Her hair was tied back in a complex braid, and her frock was evidently hand-made. Galar's cheerful demeanor was equally apparent. His grand white smile akin to Amani's. His black hair was parted at the side, growing a bit down the neck, probably more out of lacking the time to get a haircut, rather than being a deliberate choice in style. He had dark stubble growing across his face, and worn farmer's clothes that had been subjected to numerous patches and repairs. No doubt thanks to his wife.

They looked like quite the happy family, "I remember this…" Amani remarked, studying the photo, "I must've been… six or seven. We'd just come back from town with a new camera to try."

 

Alicio was a comforting shadow behind Amani as she walked into the living room, never more than a few steps behind her. His eyes scanned the walls, lingering on the old furniture, imagining what it all must have looked like, a decade ago. A home in bloom, rather than the shade of it's former self it was now.

He noticed Amani stop, and stepped up behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder to look over it. He found a melancholic smile. "Well, now I certainly see your parents in you," he offered, not without a little humor. She looked so much like her family, Alicio could have sworn he'd recognized them. "And... I like your buns." He laughed quietly.

"We could go into town later, if you want. See if it's still there. Maybe buy some flowers."

Then, Alicio turned towards the hallway that they had avoided thus far. "What's down there?," he asked, inclining his head slowly that direction.

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
Amani smirked in silent agreement. She too could see the resemblance, especially now in retrospect. His second comment even got a quiet chuckle out of her, "Do you now?" She bucked back against him with her hips, "How forward of you." Her gaze fell back to the image. The real buns in question were pretty cute. Maybe Lia would like to have her hair up like that one day.

When she had a little more hair.

"…Yeah. Maybe we could," Amani hoped the town was still around. A piece of her youth that wasn't a relic. Something that still lived on. Their little moment inevitably settled back into solemness, when Alicio inquired about the hallway. She looked in that direction, her smile fading slightly. With a few short steps she passed the kitchen next. A quaint, rustic space, albeit one now old and decrepit from years of isolation. Helping cook had been another past hobby of hers. Amani paused for a moment, remembering such a time, before she completed the transition into the hall.

There were three rooms, each shut behind a door. Amani skipped the first of them— Not much of note to say about the 'fresher. But the second door on the left, she stopped in front of. Then, opened the door. Inside, was unmistakably a little girl's room. It was painted in soft, pleasant colors. Pale purples and blues, almost in a dreamlike sunset blend. Drawing had been hung up along the walls, some fallen off and eaten away. A chest full of toys, unopened in ages. And a small bed, draped in an old, handmade quilt. Amani gently turned and sat on the bed. Springs groaned under the weight at first, but then quieted down, leaving them in silence, "My room," She said plainly, "I was getting a bit too big for this bed. We were planning on buying or making a new one soon," She frowned. A young Amani was really looking forward to that brand new bed. But they never quite got to that.

 

Alicio had to suppress a giggle fit as Amani took his compliment a very different way than he'd intended. "Yes, that too," he managed, shaking his head. "But not what I meant."

The couple transitioned past the kitchen area, which earned a few curious looks from the Count as they walked through. He ran a finger along a countertop, imagining the meals made here. Locally grown, or bought from the markets in town. It must have been a special occasion, when the marketplace got a new shipment from across the galaxy...

Alicio realized he'd been staring for a moment too long. With a few long steps, he caught up with Amani, joining her as they walked into a bedroom together.

He watched on as Amani sat down on her old bed, and joined her after a moment, the springs protesting profusely. "It's nice," he said, holding his hand against the wall. Admiring the colors, even if they had faded a little, after all these years. "You used to be quite the artist, huh?" He found a smile, glancing over all the drawings stuck to the walls.

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
Amani scooted over to give Alicio space beside her. She became a bit bashful as he complimented her artwork; Pictures of flowers, animals, and her family. Pretty good, for a child's drawings. It was a hobby she didn't really delve much into these days, "I guess so," A chuckle, "It's probably been years since I gave it a shot. I used to draw a lot of mirialan tattoos. I thought I had it in me to learn them all."

Slowly, Amani slinked her fingers across the old mattress, sliding them between Alicio's and squeezing his hand, "Sometimes I wish I could give our kids something more like this," She sighed, "…Do you think we're doing… good? Being… good parents?" They certainly gave it their all. But was it enough, with the lives they lived? She wanted to think so, but that guilt and self-doubt had a way of creeping back in when it was least convenient.

 

Alicio took his hand off the wall, resting it between them with a natural sort of ease as they discussed the drawings. "That's ambitious of little Amani," he offered, knowing that there were far too many designs and variations of mirialan tattoos for any one child to wrap her head around.

But then, Amani's hand found his, and she asked a question that made him frown.

"…Do you think we're doing… good? Being… good parents?"

Alicio turned his head to look at her, his grey eyes shading. Of course, his first thought was to dissuade the notion, comfort her, but... "I... think so. But I don't know." He looped an arm around Amani's waist, leaning against her. "I wish we could live on a farm, too. Tend to crops. Gather around the fire. Walk into town. Never have to leave their side..." He sighed, looking towards a drawing on the wall in thought. They couldn't. Not with their professions. Not with their dispositions.

"But they have so much more than I did. We can still tell them stories, and take them on trips, and give them a stable, safe place to grow and learn, and find friends their age, and be there for them..." He trailed off, not out of a lack of things to say, but understanding that there was too much to say. "Our lives are complicated. We've made mistakes, of course we have, we haven't even been parents for a year. But as long as we're doing all that, we have to be at least a little good."

"Right?"


- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
Alicio's answer didn't exactly assuage her worries. Not at first, anyway. But they commiserated over the shared doubts of first-time parenthood. It was a momentous undertaking for any mother or father, let alone two with responsibilities like theirs. Despite the struggles, however, they kept on going. And August and Liana could grow up with two dedicated, loving parents, in a safe, stable home. That had to be worth something.


Amani turned to Alicio, and smiled softly, "…Right." She eased the tension in her shoulders and took a deep breath. Then, she put her arms around Alicio's neck, and hugged him. She didn't say anything at first, letting the gesture speak for itself. The only sound was the gentle creak of an old house. After a few precious moments, Amani abruptly chuckled, "Have I ever told you you're a pretty good husband?" A dreadful understatement. But irrefutably true.

She stood up slowly, and looked towards the door. Stepping back out into the hallway, she found the second door, waiting for Alicio to join her, "This… is my parents room." It opened, to reveal a room just a little bigger than Amani's. A big bed, a small desk, and a reading chair, were among the old but cozy decorations. A window overlooked the front yard, curtains tattered and eaten away. On the surface it held no more weight than the rest of the house, but Amani hesitated at the threshold. Her eyes watered up, but the tears didn't quite break through yet, "This was the last place I saw them. When they were sick. Before they…" She covered her mouth, sniffling behind her palm.

 

"Have I ever told you you're a pretty good husband?"

Fully encircling Amani with a hug, Alicio came across a cathartic smile. "Have I ever told you that you're a pretty good wife, yourself?" Then, with a bit more sincerity, "There's nobody in the whole galaxy that I would rather have with me than you." A simple statement. Obvious, maybe. But the obvious was so often forgotten, when the shadows of doubt began creeping in. Alicio had no qualms reminding Amani just how much she meant to him. To them.

Finally, they moved on, to the last room of interest. Alicio immediately picked up on Amani's change of posture. The shift from wistfully dreaming of lost memories to something more fragile. Opening the room, Alicio knew why. It was a master bedroom. For her parents.

Sensing the brimming emotion in the woman beside him, Alicio felt a sharp stab of pain in his heart. He cradled the back of her head, guiding her cheek to his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her's, a constant pressure to keep her grounded. He wouldn't obstruct her view of the room. But he would be her support, as long as she needed him to be.

"They loved you so much, Amani."

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
"From time to time," Amani teased with a smile. Such words were simple, obvious affirmations of their love. But she never grew tired hearing them, or saying them. It never stopped being any less true.

But even that comfort couldn't diminish the ache she felt as they approached the last room. She'd had years since that fateful day. But despite all that time, it never felt like she truly had the chance to reconcile with it. Not in the way she needed. Recovering from her own sickness, being taken away by the Jedi; Everything was moving so fast back then. Amani thought she had moved past it. And in many ways she had. She had certainly already cried over it, numerous times. But it was all done without the steady shoulder she needed.

So when Alicio stayed at her side, offering all that comfort that, until now she didn't realize was missing, the floodgates opened. Amani hugged him again tightly, and sobbed, letting out years of grief that had been buried. Unafraid of any judgement, or isolation, she could share those feelings until they had all dried up, "I know," She said, weak and messy. Her voice hitched, trying to form full sentences in the middle of her weeping, "I-I just miss them so much sometimes— So many things I— I wanted to share with them—" The longing for so many things that could have been broke her heart. It was unfair. A cruel, random fate thrust on people who didn't deserve it. No evil plans or wartime collateral damage. A disease. A treatable disease. Had treatment not come too late.

Amani shut her eyes, tears still squeezing out, then she opened them again, looking at the empty bed once more. Finally, her breathing started to slow, and the river of tears began to stagnate. She sniffled again, her grip loosening, "Come with me."

Amani moved slowly, but with an abrupt sense of purpose, out of the room. Back through the halls, back to the front door, back outside. She walked around the garden, past the fields, and to the back of the house. There, they found two simple graves lying beside one another. Galar: Husband, Father. Niah: Wife, Mother. Amani looked around, and picked out a pair of wildflowers. She looked back at the graves and sighed, "You're grandparents now..." She set one flower on each, "...I know you would've been the best."

 

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