A Guy Like You

[Scherezade deWinter]

"That's not true, I have at least three ribs... Two, that have never been broken," she tried to joke in order to lighten the mood. It wasn't working. She knew it had been the wrong time to say it the second he'd dropped his bantha burger. He needed his food more than she needed his, but she knew commenting on it now would hardly have the desired effect.

She moved a little bit closer, undoing the distance she had opened so they could eat comfortably, and put her hand on his lap, hoping he would take it in the reassuring way she had meant it. Did he think that it had to do with their earlier conversation? She wasn't sure.

"Because I have to," she tried to explain, "I have Katrine, I have you..." did she? A small voice in the back of her mind tried to peep out, but she forced it down, "but I can hardly sit back and do nothing while I wait for either of you to return. You're with the Knights, you go out on missions as well. Would I be able to keep you from one?"

She sighed, trying to come up with the words. There were a lot of reasons for her to go on that mission. There was exactly one for her not to go. At present, that one did not outweigh the others.

"I'll always be in the middle of danger, Gerwald," she tried again, "I can sit on my ship and someone will decide that it's a good day to blow a ship up. I can go out for a picnic and someone will decide I count as prey. I rather be active about when and where the danger is rather than sit around passively waiting for people to come try and kill me. And at least this way..." she paused, chewing on her words. She had told him that she was not particularly liked among the people of the Confederacy. But would he understand her desire and her outright need to be liked among them? Would he be able to understand just how deep her loneliness ran? Humans were social creatures, and her social-ness was extremely limited. "At least this way I have a chance of being accepted in this stupid Confederacy, and not just because the Nightmother said so."


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Ger tried to laugh, but the reality was he could not joke about it, not when he was still in the middle of feeling guilty about his siblings. If they ever talked to him again, it would be a miracle.

"I know you will always be in the middle of danger, and I know that it is not fair of me to tell you to just sit around and wait while I go on missions. I would never do that. What I am asking is that you do not volunteer for the stupid dangerous ones. I know that talk we had this morning... it wasn't exactly what you wanted to hear, but I know that I need you in my life no matter what. You are too important to me to just have to sit aside and watch you get killed. I wont ever do that."

There is was. Gerwald was not going to use the word, because he did not want to confuse it with the love Scherezade had confessed for him, but he did love her. There could be no other explanation for why he felt so strong about keeping her alive, or making sure that she did stay alive.

He smiled when she placed her hand on his thigh.

"You don't need to prove yourself... at least don't go looking to do that. I'm still earning my chops too, but you aren't going to see me go out of my way to catch the attention of people who can't see me for who I already am. Your actions, your kill count, the fact you are there when called upon, that will speak for you. If something happened, and I wasn't there to help you... and you died... I would never be able to forgive myself, Scherezade deWinter."

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Half of her wanted to just kick him. He said again how important she was to him, how he would never be able to sit aside and watch her die. When she took that to heart along with the rest of things said and done before that moment, all of it leading back to that bonfire, it could only mean one thing. But he wouldn't say it, for this or other reason. It was staring at him right in the face and he wouldn't say it. She took a deep breath, his scent threatening to overwhelm her, and forced herself to let it go. They would have time to talk about it. She would have time to show him that- Time. That was it. That was what he needed. Perhaps... Their lives had been very different. His grasp on what time was, was different than hers. Perhaps that was all he needed, the time and the freedom to understand it himself. And it meant that she would not raise the topic again, not ever, not until he'd had the time to reach the conclusion and let it come from him. He'd said what he had to say that morning, and she wouldn't impose herself. She would merely keep to her promise - create a lot more moments together.

And still, when he said her name, she couldn't deny that it moved something within her, spread a fire in her chest that did not burn and cackle in the way fire was meant to. It was a warm fire that made her feel nice, without any of the destruction that usually accompanied the flames. She wanted more of it. She wanted to hear him say it again and again and again. And what more, he smiled when she put her hand on his thigh. So she wasn't imposing. And now she was comfortable to touch his shoulder with the tip of her nose and smile.

"But I do have to prove myself," she tried to explain, "you're still earning your chops, but people don't disrespect you. When you show up on the field, no one rolls their eyes and wonders what trouble you'll cause to their side. When you're called on missions, it's not because you're the cheapest meat shield they can get without breaking their own mandate. I'm no one in the Confederacy. A loose canon. Someone they'll never accept unless I go above and beyond. I need to do thrice as much as others just to be tolerated. And that's not going to change unless I sign up on these stupid missions."

She inhaled him again, the food on the table entirely forgotten.

"There is nothing you'll ever have to forgive yourself for, Gerwald," she tried to soothe him, somewhere in the back of her mind hoping he would say her name again, "even if something happens... I'll always find my way back to you. Always. I promise."


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

It wasn't that he didn't know his own feelings, he just could not reconcile them. Was it possible to love more than one person in the way he did? What he felt for Scherezade and what he felt for Katrine were both the same and different, but both as strong. He feared losing either, and rather than making him talk, or be honest, it quieted him, and made him out to be something he was not, or didn't want to be.

He still disagreed that she had to prove herself. Perhaps he was biased in all of it, but there was nothing to prove, and there was no sense in signing up for missions that were suicide in nature. Granted it was in her to chace the thrill that came with almost dying. She had jumped off that damn balcony. Gerwald still would not see her die, he would not.

"I cannot forbid it, Scherezade, but if I could, if it were my place or right I would. You know the only reason people do not look at me and wonder is because of my size. Oh look... tall and muscular he must be a good strong fighter. It is no more an assumption than what people think when they look at you and assume you are a loose canon.

"Well, guess what, you are... and I love it. You scare the hell out of me, but I wouldn't change it. You shouldn't either."

Gerwald knew what he was saying was the truth, and he also knew it was not going to change her mind from taking the mission.

"Carry a transponder with... something that makes it easy to track you in case I have to come and rescue you."

He took a bite from his burger and began to dig into the wings. Ger was still upset, upset enough that his food was what he wanted to stuff his face with. It would only take a few bites to get him over it, then he would kiss the girl, messy beard and all.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Scherezade froze. He had said her name, and the desired effect took place in her chest, but then he continued talking, right up until the part where he said that he loved it, referring to her being a loose canon, and how he would not change it. She felt like she was supposed to respond somehow, say something, but it was one of those rare moments in which her lips locked and no words would come out. The thing he said after that, she barely even registered it in her mind, all she could do was nod blankly, still trying to even form words in her mind with the hopes of them making them out of her mouth.

Gerwald was eating again, but Scherezade couldn't bring herself to do the same. She stared at the food, the gleaming meat, the pile of wings that she would have devoured happily only a few moments ago without much thought, and her stomach clenched.

And the suddenly his face was on her, messy beard and all, and once again she found herself melting into him, not caring about the food's taste still on his tongue, not caring that his messy beard made her own skin dirty, not caring about anything else in the 'verse. Her arms wrapped around him and she tried to pull him closer, so much closer, but it was not humanly possible without breaking bones. And she never wanted to break him in any way.

She didn't dare count how long it lasted. Whatever the number, it would always be too small. She lost herself in the moment, in the feel of it, her upper body pressing against his as well, ignoring the fact that she was not half as armed as usual, because it meant that she could feel more of the heat radiating from his body, heat that sometimes felt like a life force.

Only when it was done did she gasp for air, realizing she hadn't even needed it while they kissed.

"Gerwald Lechner," she said, wiping the grease off her chin on the back of her hand like some sort of little barbarian, grinning the entire time. If he had loved the belching the night before, this was right up the same alley. And she would wash her hands and face before they left anyway. She remembered Orcus, and how he had to carry her off the battlefield because she had finished the fight with spears and sword and everything sharp inside of her body. "Some day I am going to be the one to rescue you, and you are going to be in awe of it."


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald was pretty sure he was addicted to her kisses. They were like air to his lungs, though after their conversation on the bathroom floor he felt a certain amount of guilt. He knew his actions and his words were not giving her the same picture, and it was one of those of things he needed to reconcile. It wasn't that anything about their interactions were meaningless, but Gerwald simply did not know how to reconcile the fact that he wanted both women. How was that even fair?

The thoughts were gone with her words though. His lungs burned for air by the time the kiss broke, and her words had taken all the air out of him that he just regained.

She would rescue him... Gerwald wanted to laugh and chuckle at the idea. She was always throwing herself into danger and getting hurt. He had placed her into Bacta once already, and he knew that he would be doing it again. The very idea made him uneasy. He should have known what all of it said.

"That would be a sight to behold, though I have a feeling if that day ever comes, I will be s desperate that I will miss it entirely, and the awe will be absent."

His tongue stuck out at her, just before he kissed her again, and then whispered into her ear.

"If you keep kissing me like this in public we are going to need to find some place private before too long..."

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

"I'll make sure to have a holo of it-" she started responding, but his lips were on hers again, his breathing warm in her ear. Her body shuddered in response to him, her hands already roaming on his. She was more than a willing participant in it. It was odd to think that before that night at the bonfire, she had been so disinterested in the matters of physical romping, that she it had not even crossed her mind to ever think about it. But a lot of things had changed that night, and all of them so far good, and wonderful. She would't have traded it for the world.

Her body pressed into his again as she desired to take more air out of his lungs. There had never been any awkward touching between them, never a movement that came accidentally off as clumsy, and it didn't matter whether the movements were in bed, doing things that were meant to be done in bed, or things that had to do with beds, such as fighting together. It was as though they had both been physically shaped to compliment each other, every nook and cranny modeled exactly to fit together, to move and to mesh together. It had not escaped her attention.

At last she finally broke their more than just a kiss, using her hand to both push him away a little and steady herself against him at the same time.

"Not yet," she said with a hungry smirk. It was taking every morsel of will power she had not to just offer to skip the privacy part and start a horizontal mambo right there and then.

Gliding out of the booth, she held her hand out to him. It was still greasy. But she still didn't care.

"There is one place on Coruscant that is not all buildings and stink," she began to explain, "one place where the ground that once covered this planet, still exists. I want to show it to you, and then I want to dance with you under the Coruscant sky."


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

”I didn’t say yet...” he grinned. ”I just said you make it hard to restrain myself sometimes.”

It was all true, every bit of it. There was something about who they were together that seemed to just work. At the same time, they jumped from one thing to the next, trying to experience so much that it made their relationship seem to be very fast paced. Gerwald had always been warned about moving quickly with anyone by his mother, but only because he was a Lupine. Stewjon has weird beliefs, and Ger would be labeled as a demon or a sorcerer by most.

Scherezade would never, nor would Katrine. While part of him wanted to hold back, another part of him wanted to push forward because it was..... safe.... he was free.

”Oh,” he said with a quirked brow. She had him curious about where this ground was.

Ger took her hand and followed her out of the booth. She would lead them on this little tour, and then they would dance. Their last dance had been completely impromptu. Gerwald had grabbed her hand and pulled her in because it just seemed like what he was supposed to do. It led to events that pulled them to this moment. Their recent past, this story, began with that dance. Why would he say no or refuse to dance with her now?

”Lead the way...”

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Before she lead the way outside, she led the way to where they could find a sink and some soap. Her face and hands were covered in the grease, and Gerwald's beard was too. She helped him remove a piece of the burger that had lodged there, laughing happily the entire time. Her belches had not turned him away, and the food remains in his beard had not turned her away. She kissed him again once they were both grease-less, her clean fingers running through his hair. She never wanted to stop touching it.

Alas, she had to. She took his hand again as they walked to the landing pad, the speeder bike waiting for them. Her body remained close to his as they walked, everything about her body language indicated that she didn't really want to physically part, though that was only a small part of it.

At the speeder bike though, she seated them as they had arrived, herself in the front and Gerwald behind her. His arms wrapped around her middle, she drove.

There was no race this time, no scary falls into the bottomless pit that was Coruscant. If anything, it was a mild ride.

Scherezade inhaled deeply as often as she dared, wanting to keep Gerwald's scent inside her lungs. In her head, she had already titled him as her Shield Against the Darkness, the one person that when she was around, the Darkness turned into a distant threat, and not something that actively tried to pull her back in. She didn't know why it was like that. Certainly, it was not some alluding higher power sort of a thing. After all, they had met prior to that night of the bonfire, and there had been no such effect at the time. If she had thought about it enough she might have realized that Katrine had a similar effect on her, though much less tangible, and she might have started to try to logic out the why's. But she never did, and unbeknownst to our characters at this point in their story, would not until it was perhaps too late. For now, all she knew was that she loved him, that she wanted to spend more time with him. She wanted to share all the moments he had promised and many more. She wanted him in her bed, yes, but more importantly, she wanted him outside of her bed with her.

From their parking spot, the Plaza was not much to look at, unless you were into that sort of thing. Once off the speeder, she leaned into his body again as they began the uphill that led to the bare mountain top. The scenery around it was as artificial as Coruscant itself, with greenery planted just to make it look nice for the tourists and press releases.

But up on the mountain peak...

It was a mere few moments before they reached it, and still she walked. There was a spot, between the trees, a few more steps... There! A place where they could stand, and the sky was open to them, but the trees closed the sides off, giving a feel that they were no longer on the city planet, but somewhere else. She had found the spot entirely by accident during one of her first visits to the city, back when she walked everywhere on it because she couldn't afford public transportation and hadn't known she had a living aunt. It had quickly become one of her favorite spots, and one that she had not even mentioned to anybody else.

The Coruscant sky didn't allow for twinkling stars, but their location allowed for intimate privacy, a moment they could share on their own, without the noise and humms of the busy planet.

Scherezade turned, her arms wrapping around Gerwald. She hugged him and pressed her ear to his heart, just listening to it beat. It was the most beautiful and satisfying sound she had ever heard, and she wanted to do anything that was within her power to make sure it continued beating for as long as possible.


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald could smell the mountain before they reached it. She was taking him to nature, and while he had known it, now he could smell it. The wolf in him was ecstatic. Quickly he learned that his wolf hated the city, as much as Gerwald had been fascinated by it. This reprieve was one that he very much needed.

The only thing missing was the stars. Gerwald missed the sight of the night lights which illuminated the galaxy. They were always so bright on Stewjon.

Under the cover and protection of the forest wall, Gerwald wrapped his arms around Scherezade as they moved together. Ger was still a little clunky when it came to dancing. He was certain he would never be good at it, but he loved easier than he did the last time. Of course Scherezade has helped him figure things out by trying to stab him. It was a memory he would not forget.

”Why live in a city when you can have this...”

Gerwald took in a deep breath. He could smell the woods, and he could smell her. She was human, there was nothing Lupine about her, but he loved the scent. He loved it as much as...

He sighed. His mind wandered back to their conversation. Why had he said what he did? Why risk hurting her? Gerwald didn’t want to, but he also wanted to be honest. This was another moment though. Then his mind went to the mission she had volunteered for. Why? Why didn’t she see she already had value?

”Damn you Scherezade deWinter... they had better have another spot on that team because I’m not letting you go without me now. I’ll be in the ship above or on the surface below.”

They kept moving together, Ger wasn’t ready to leave just yet, though he knew they would soon have to.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

She made no response to his first question. There was no need to. He echoed her thoughts exactly. While she didn't hate Coruscant, and loved visiting it frequently, it was not place she would ever be able to call home. Endelaan was her ancestral home, but she had never been there as an adult, did not know if it was a home-home. But she knew that her home-home would have forests, and lakes, and wild areas that she could explore in, hunt in, kill in. Somewhere that had a warm sun and a starry night. Whatever else happened, that was something that she needed so direly in her life. City planets would never fulfill that need.

They were moving together. She knew Gerwald thought he couldn't dance, that he felt awkward. She also knew that it was a stupid thing for him to think. Their bodies reacted to each other, movement met by movement, all of it with fluidity. They were not professional dancers, either of them. But they could dance together and it would always be a beautiful sight to behold. She wished she could show him that, show him how she saw him like that. But not now. For now, he was in the moment as much as she was, or so she thought.

Scherezade inhaled Gerwald again, remembering a silly little wish she'd had not too long ago about being able to bottle that scent. There was no one else that could make her feel safe like that, that she could lower her guard around like that. He had seen who and what she was, and he had not run away. He had risked death to take a blood debt on for her. He had let her teach him what it meant to be free, to be completely free, and while he did that, he had taken a piece of her that she was all too willing to give, and had given long before any stupid words were uttered. And she wanted him to keep that piece, to keep that sense of freedom. She wanted him to have everything.

Which was part of why she did not tell him about another crazy idea she had. A gift that she wanted to bestow on him. It was too soon for something that huge, anyway, considering it involved the future of the Lupines. Even if he had said the words back, she knew it would've been too soon. But she had patience. She'd spent five hundred years in the Darkness on her own. She could wait another few weeks or months or even longer in this life while waiting for him to be ready.

Her mind snapped back from her thoughts when he mentioned joining. Scherezade nodded, knowing she would not be able to keep him away from that. She would do whatever was within her power to make sure he had no reason to leave that ship, and they would meet up again once it was all over. Besides, he'd said her full name again. Her spine tingled at it.

"Yes," she voiced her agreement, "and after that..."

After that what? There were so many things that could happen after that. She wanted to show him more of the galaxy. She wanted to keep holding his hand and looking at how the corners of his eyes lighted up ever time she gave him a new first. She wanted a lifetime of such firsts with them.

But there were also things that were bigger than her. Things that had to happen for that to be truly possible.

"And after that I want us to go to Stewjon and get your siblings," she said, taking his hand and holding it in hers, "the longer you keep waiting, the more it will eat you up from the inside, and the bigger your regret about leaving them behind will be." He had also promised her he'd tell her more about his siblings. But that could wait. She would wait. She would wait with almost anything for him. "I don't want you to live with that regret. I want you to live free, be a free Lupine, knowing you're better than the mistakes you've made in moments of weakness. I want to be by your side when you do it, but I will be planets and systems away and wait for you while you do it if that's how you prefer it." It was true. Every word of it, completely and entirely true.

She wanted to kiss him again, but she wasn't sure if it was the right time.

"And after that," the words continued to pour out of her in absence of anyting else she could do with her lips, "I want to train with you. Not train you, train with you. We fought those Trandoshians and we moved together as one, without ever trying something like that before. It was more than a dance. And I think we could make an amazing battle team if we worked on it." It had been on her mind as well. "But your siblings first. They're more important than that."


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

"Yes, we will get them after that..."

Gerwald was not going to wait anymore. Scherezade was right. There were no excuses as to why he had not gone to get them yet. Sure, there was the basic training that had kept him from leaving for a time, but since then he had already been on one off world mission, and now this trip to Coruscant. Had he been able to see the news of what was taking place on Stewjon, there would be no waiting. Scherezade would not go to Melida/Daan. They would both be rushing back to the ship to set off and free his sister from the witch trials they were putting her through. There was no knowledge of it, and the pressing need... He knew he would be back for them.

Then Scherezade just began to talk... more, and as before she just poured out what was in her heart and in her mind. All it did was make him feel guilty for not being able to just return the words, and he was not going to say them out of guilt. When those words came from his lips it would natural and right. Would it have been too soon, likely, but maybe not. If that was how they felt then why would the timing matter. How Gerwald felt when he said it, that did matter. Though, to be fair, Scherezade would not know it was making him feel guilty.

"We do move well together," Gerwald said with a playful wink. "Those lizards didn't even stand a chance. Combat is the only dance I really know, Scherezade. I know you think that I am not as clunky as I protest, but put a weapon in my hand, and that is when I am truly elegant and graceful. War is the music, violence is the dance, and death is the play. You have never once blinked at the fact I am a killer, never have you moved away in fear because of the wolf."

"Would you be mad if I said I think my mother would even like you?"

Everything pointed to one conclusion. They were a good team. Gerwald knew it. Even if the feelings and emotions were not there, they would be a good team. It was easy and natural.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Combat was the only dance he really knew. She nodded, understanding the feeling behind it. She wanted to offer to take the knives out, to heat the dance up with the danger of pointy things stabbing both of them. He was well trained by now, both by her and the Knights, to not be powerless against her if she decided to up the game compared to the last time they did it. She could already see it in her mind, the wild movements, the hips moving against each other while their clothes were still on. It made her want to stop waiting again, to just take him right there and then. But she stopped herself. There would be plenty of time to make the ground shake when they returned.

His last sentence took her by surprise. Scherezae froze in his arms, emerald eyes looking up and blinking. Would she be mad? "The little you've told me about her makes her sound like someone I should kill," she said after a long pause. She didn't know even half of it. All she knew was that she was standing in the only forest on Coruscant, pressed against the only person she had ever fallen in love with, and that his mother had tried to convince him that he was not half of what he was worth. If she had known the deeper truths of it, she might have skipped several missions just to go to Stewjon herself, kill the woman, and bring his siblings back all the way to his doorstep. Hindsight was always 20/20.

"I'm not mad," she said with a little smile, her hands moving to rest now against his chest, where she could feel his heart beat through the clothes, "I understand that you mean this as a compliment." And she loved him more for it, but those were not words she could voice. Not after that morning, not after having resolved to give him the time he needed to realize that he loved her too. It was hard, not to say it. But she kept her promises, even if they were made just to herself. Instead, she gave the tip of his nose a playful lick.

"Your wolf..." she began, "you," she corrected herself immediately, "never made me fear, Gerwald. Not ever for the reasons you thought you might. I've known you were a Lupine the second we met, and if I hadn't, I'd have known three seconds later anyway. Whatever shape you're currently wearing, human or wolf, it's still you. It will always be you. And I don't have to be a Lupine in order to understand that."

She had spent more than enough time with him in order to know it. In order to comprehend it. In order to be angry with his mother for convincing him and his siblings that this somehow made him and then inferior, in need of hiding.

"But if we're already on the subject of the wolf," she said with a gleam in her eyes, "I want to spend more time with that shape too. I don't want you to feel pressured into the man shape just because I'm near. I still remember the smell and the feel of your fur, and now you're even capable of communicating through the Force no matter what shape you're currently wielding."

She smiled then, planting a soft kiss on his lips. "Besides," she added, "you never exactly shied away from me being a killing either. We're both predators, Gerwald. In different ways, with different tricks up our sleeves, but the same nonetheless."

[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

The more she talked, the more Gerwald felt emotionally overwhelmed. It had been the same feeling as when Katrine had told him the Lupine was the one in the same. He never tired of hearing that, but coming from Scherezade, who was not a Lupine, and would never fully understand the freedom those words could give, Gerwald was rendered speechless. He could only act, and that he did well.

His lips pressed to hers. She needed to stop talking before the moment could pass, and it was the only way he knew how to tell her what her words meant to him. Gerwald was two things since leaving Stewjob, violent and passionate. Scherezade was seeing both from him now. He did not care that they were outdoors, or the park was designed for tourists. They could hear them for all he cared. Gerwald was free tinbe the Lupine he was, and that was not going to be diminished now.

_____

He rest on the grass which had grown between the wall of trees which surrounded them. It was soft, damp, but perfect. There was nothing much else for him to say, other than to enjoy the body which was entangled with his. Her head was on his chest as he ran fingers through her long glorious mane. Ger simply continued to breathe her in.

Melida/Dawn still weighed on his mind. Something inside ate away at him like things would never be the same after that mission, but he pushed it down. He knew it was just a bad feeling, the same bad feeling he had when he tried to make her promise she would not do anything stupid. Gerwald knew he could not stand losing her... Gerwald...

”How long before the CSF finds us and tries to arrest us?”

No, he wasn’t going to think about losing her. It was never going to be allowed to happen. Gerwald wouldn’t allow it.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

She understood. By the Force, she understood what his deeds meant. Passion and violence were met with violence and passion, and she welcomed him all. Their bodies sang and danced to and with each other, and for those blissful moments, for those wonderful moments, there was nothing else in the 'verse that existed as the same time as them.

Later, much later and yet sooner than she would've otherwise wanted, they lay on the grass. Her ear was pressed against his chest, and she could hear his heart beat with power and strength. His fingers through her hair made her almost purr, the intimacy and the closeness of that kind of touch enough to make her brain and body explode again, this time softer, slower.

She wished she could show him. She wished so dearly that she could shine like a star, that she could bathe them both of them in the afterglow of their deeds. A hand came up, fingers twirling in his beard as she still hungered for his touch.

Her head jumped up at his question and she looked around, sending waves of the Force forth. There was nothing discreet or gentle about her actions. There was no need for it. She easily located the minds of those who were dispatched to investigate the source of the noise.

She faced Gerwald then, a wicked smile on her face. It was an easy trick that she had pulled on the guards when they spent time on Ryloth together, the night of the bonfire. The night that had started it all.

"Only when we decide to let them," she purred into him as she leaned down to kiss him again.

Of course, they could skip that part all together. But there was no denying the joy either of them would relish in from another fight. They were killers who felt no remorse about such things. She'd seen the delight on his face when they killed the Trandoshians, when they caused traffic accidents.

Finding her place again in his arms, Scherezade let her eyes close, let her sense of smell increase as she inhaled the scent of pinewoods, of earth, of freedom. She wanted to. She wanted to say again, so badly, loudly. It was torture not to be able to.

Scherezade began to move, until she was lying right on top of him, and gave the tip of his nose another lick. She loved him so much.

"Do you..." she mumbled, trying to form her words, trying to find the courage to give the voice, "when I..."

Scherezade took a deep breath.

"Gerwald," she started again, "I want to go to Endelaan. Not right now, not when there are scheduled missions and things that need to get done. But after that, in a few months, maybe half a year or a year... When I'm worthy..." She was mumbling. She had to stop mumbling. "Would you like to come with me when I go to my ancestral home planet for the first time?"

Scherezade blinked, deleting the words before they became speech. Too soon. It was too soon. It would have to wait.

"Never mind," she said with a smile, and leaned down to kiss him again.


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald chuckled. This time he knew what she had with the guards. The trick was a simple one that he could now replicate, and it bright a smirk to his face knowing he could get a way with control over the weak minded. What was more, Gerwald was content to be leisure in this setting. Scherezade had always known when it was time to linger, and this time was one of those times. However, it was going to come to an end all too soon. They both had missions and assignments to return to, and Gerwald, had other matters he was seeing to as well. Something of his was missing, and he needed to get it back. Plus it was an excuse to see the person he wanted to see.

Scherezade wanted to say something, but she didn’t. Gerwald wasn’t going to press either. Whatever it was seemed important to her, and it seemed like something she was debating. Gerwald was never going to press her to say anything she wasn’t ready to say. Instead he just let her kiss him.

Rolling her onto her back, he looked at her and smiled after the kiss broke.

”You sure,” he asked, seeing and sensing that there was something there.

He was curious, but if she decided not to share, then that would be that.

The night air was perfect, and as they lay together something came over Ger. He wanted to change, but they had brought a speeder bike. That one thing kept him from doing so. She’d seen him change a couple of times before, so Gerwald wasn’t concerned about it anymore. Besides, she had accepted that part of him from the start. It had never been a question.

There was nothing to hunt, otherwise he would suggest it. For now, Gerwald would be content with knowing they could always find another Rycrit on Ryloth.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

He rolled her over and was on top of her again, a deep moan escaping her lips. There was safety in their movements together, something she could trust. His weight on top of her only added to that and she wanted more, more of it. Her hands came up, one to make lazy circles on his shoulder, the other to play with his wonderful hair. She didn't want the night to end, she didn't want to go back to Ryloth. Going back meant that this would be over, that they would both have to leave their warm and safe bubble with each other and go face the 'verse separately. And after that... After that they would go rescue his siblings, and she would have to take a step back for however long it took for Gerwald to reconcile with them, to make things right. She wanted to be there for him, to be a pillar he could lean against when things got hard, because things would get hard, and on that front, there would be no way for her to defend him, to throw her body in the line of fire if it made sure it was safe.

He asked her if she was sure. How could she answer that? How could she tell him that part of her wanted to scream that yes, that she wanted nothing else than to bring him to Endelaan, to show him her ancestral homeworld, to let him change into a wolf and run through the rivers and forests and lakes, hunting anything he desired save for the wild horses and the black owls that belonged to her parents. The very same part that wanted to show him what their future could hold if he so desired it, a place where someone like him, despite his Stewjon origins, and someone like her, an exiled princess, would be considered the same rank, where they would not have to steal away for moments because all the good things that happened to them would be encouraged. The very same future that she wanted to offer him with the Lupines, because she had told him that if they could imagine it, they could do it, and she had imagined something great beyond what she was sure anyone else had, and that she would have the means to give it to him. A future where he loved her as much as she loved him and they could choose together whether they wanted to be the King and Queen or whether they preferred to continue traveling around the galaxy, killing and exploring as they desired, both the universe and each other, bringing his siblings with them, and some day Brayden too.

The other part of her wanted to just smile and nod and say she was sure, because how crazy was it to want to offer all of that to someone who couldn't say he loved her eventhough all his actions showed the opposite? Why rush into it, why not give him the time. Endelaan had remained secret and safe for centuries, trusting him with the information about it would only increase the risk of being discovered before they were ready to. That same part could not understand why she so yearned for him, wanted him, in both body and soul, in both man and wolf that were one, in every possible way. That same part warned her that she had given herself too fully, too quickly. That she had not only given him the galaxy on a platter, but her heart as well, and he could not say the words back.

Scherezade smiled, her eyes looking into Gerwald's. She loved him so much that she could explode. Would she explode, when he finally said the words back? Would she become a glimmering pile of glitter, blinking with happy lights from every direction? Surely the only way to love him more was to loved by him as well. And besides. She'd never been very good at heeding warnings, not even her own. She jumped head first into danger, right? Hadn't he said he would never want to change that part of her even if he could?

"Endelaan," she whispered, "when all it said and taken care of, I want to invite you to Endelaan, when the time is right. I want to show it to you. I want to see you run through the forests there, to experience the freedom it has to offer, and what it's like to be an equal. To not have to worry because even though there aren't Lupines there yet, the Lupines would be respected. And I know I don't know them yet, but I want that invite to extend to your siblings as well. The three of you deserve so much better than what you've had to endure so far."

And I'll give you everything I can to make you comprehend that with every fiber of your being, because I love you, Gerwald. I know about fifteen languages and all of them put together do not contain enough words for me to be able to explain just how much. Please, please love me the way I love you. Please...

She did not believe in gods. She did not believe in deities. She'd never even know that she could pray. But she prayed now, closing her eyes, kissing him again, guarding her mind carefully so her thoughts would not be accessible to him through the Force.

Please, please, please Gerwald... Please love me the way I love you. Please...

[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

”When the time is right,” was his answer, and he felt like a heel for being only able to say it like that. They would go to Stewjon first, there would be missions, other things would be lived, and Gerwald had no idea when the time would be right. It just wasn’t right now.

She spoke of Endelaan as a place where he could be free to run the forests, where he would be accepted, and they could be seen as equals. Gerwald could only wonder if that meant they couldn’t be now? Wasn’t he already free to run about as he was with her now? Weren’t they already equals among the Confederacy? Yes it was her home, and compared to his they wouldn’t be treated as equal for several reasons, but Gerwald also didn’t want to think he had to go somewhere else to truly experience that.

Scherezade already made him feel equal. Katrine had told him they already were. Everything the two of them had been telling was that he was free now. He could be who he wanted to be now. Gerwald enjoyed the freedom, and no matter what she said the blind woman’s aura told him that there was a chance it could be different than what Scherezade had said. Anyone as traditional as her would certainly be as judgemental, wouldn’t they?

Gerwald sighed.

”When the time is right we will go to Endelaan.”

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

He answered, sighed, and answered again.

Scherezade stiffened beneath him. Had her offer been wrong? Had she said something to pull him out of he glow they were both in only moments ago? She had thought... She had hoped, that he would be happier about it. And while she was glad he wasn't trying the fact that he was not, she could almost see the shadow on his face.

"Gerwald," she said softly, trying to give him a reassuring smile. The hand moved from his shoulder to his cheek, caressing it gently.

These were shaky grounds, though she hadn't known it a moment ago. Something she had done... No, something she had said, because she hadn't done anything, had caused him this. She wanted to dash in head first and break it in order to fix the situation. But these were not situations that could be fixed like that.

"Hey," she added with a reassuring smile, and inhaled again, drawing strength from his own scent in order to ask, "what's wrong?"


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

”Nothing...”

He said with a small shrug. How was he supposed to explain that he clearly understood from the blind woman that Scherezade was the one who would be accepting of him. Just because she was didn’t mean her world would be, and Gerwald was no longer innocent enough to believe that one person represented their world. Gerwald certainly didn’t embody all of Stewjon.

Gerwald kissed her softly, quickly, and gingerly.

”I just want... does it have to...”

He shrugged trying to find the words to say. Instead he just went quiet again and rolled on his back to look up at the sky. His breathing was soft and steady, constant.

”Endelaan... it seems to good to be true. I’m just afraid that it wouldn’t be as perfect as it sounds...”


[member="Scherezade deWinter"]