A Guy Like You

[Scherezade deWinter]

He had to say something. Scherezade froze, and braced herself for the worst of all. It was going to be bad. It was going to be horrible. It was going to end with an awkward trip back to Ryloth and then it would be back to sleeping alone only sleeping really badly because it was only when he was around that she could get something that was remotely similar to normal sleep. She hadn't told him out right but he had been her shield against the Darkness, and now he would just poof, and they'd only see each other during missions.

By the Force, it hurt. It hurt her physically to force herself to listen to him, to not shut her brain off to his words, to not get up and run from there despite the various aches and dirt of her body. Half of her insisted on leaving. The other half was glued to the wall, which now seemed eerily cold, as though a moment ago it had been perfectly warm.

Gerwald spoke. He mentioned Katrine as the reason for him leaving Stewjon. Scherezade blinked. Katrine? What did she... Lupines. They were both Lupines. And he was drawn to her. She knew how to connect the dots. He'd met the only person in the 'verse that was the same species as him and he was drawn to her. How could he not be? Katrine, the Lupine, Katrine the Nightmother, Katrine the Witch Elder. But if he was draw to her, if he caught her scent... Then why... Then what... She thought her heart would explode in her chest. She could see it, the muscle just beating faster and faster until it could no longer contain the blood pumping in it and just went boom. It hurt. It hurt too much. It hurt too much to know that she was a temporary play thing while the woman he was interested in was someone who was practically her sister.

She wanted to dearly to stop comparing herself to Katrine but she couldn't, not when he compared it himself - saying that it was different but similar. She didn't understand when his life had become a lie. When he met Katrine? When he shared the prey's heart with Scherezade?

What did he mean by things being authentic with her? If earlier had been truth, why was she now being labelled as a "something"? He loved... Following? No, that was wrong, that was the wrong word, she didn't want him to follow her. She wanted to share with him. She wanted to hold his hand when his eyes lit up at seeing something for the first time. She wanted to stand by him when things happened. She wanted to show everyone that she was true to her nickname 'the best pin cushion in the 'verse' if it meant that she could defend him against the

But he was the wolf and he was the man and she wanted them both, even if this specific trip had mostly dealt with exploring the man. She didn't want him to repay her for anything. She wanted him to love her. It didn't have to be right now. It could be later. If ever, it would have to be later, based on the words that made it to her comprehension, because now was not... Now was being consistent in his new life and he wanted her in it. Even if... The rest...

He kissed her.

Scherezade froze against him for a moment before the tension left her body and she melted into his lips, her hands coming up, feeling as though she had to feel him, she needed to touch him, to make sure he was there, that she wasn't imagining this.

"I don't know what it means either," she finally admitted after a long silence, her hand coming up to wipe the wetness off her cheeks. She had not even realized she'd been leaking from her eyes. It was silly; she'd promised herself she'd never cry in front of anyone, and now it was twice that he had seen her tears, even if no one else in the whole wide 'verse had seen them.

But what did it mean? She could continue going on the way they have been; that had been the initial plan, before she'd opened her big stupid mouth. But would she be able to resume if things changed? If suddenly they had to be platonic? She knew what her answer to that was and she didn't want to deal with it.

"Can you..." she wanted to ask. Force. It made her feel so tiny, to be in this position. And the sad thing was that she had caused it herself. This could have been avoided entirely. What a big, stupid, mess. If things were going to go bad from here on, she would have no one to blame but herself. "Can you just..." she was going to have to ask it. Half the question was already out. Underneath her skin, it felt as though her bones were rattling. "Can you hold me?" she finally asked, "just for a little bit?"


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald was speechless for a moment. He did not anticipate this happening between them. This was so soon, and just after a day and a night spent with Katrine, one that seemed best to not bring up right in this moment. There had been things said, and moments shared that Gerwald was still processing. She wanted him, and they had agreed that was a decision that only they could make together. All he could do right now was hold the sithling in front of him. He knew his arms were her security, and it bothered him that he had allowed himself into a position that made things difficult. Perhaps if he had just opened his mouth sooner, but Gerwald was too busy exploring who he was, and what it meant to be truly free.

He took in a few deep breaths and let them out slowly as he contemplated what to say. She was right... neither of them knew what it meant... what the weight of his words had been. At least he had been honest and told her about the stirrings he had for Katrine. It was fair to say he didn't know what they were. A word he had used was destiny, but it was so strong, and things now... love... Scherezade had used the word. Ger didn't know what to do about it. All he knew was that it was going to be his choice to make, and the sooner he made it the better things would be. Yet he was afraid... he could not lose either of them. They were both important to him. Both had claimed they could be equal.

Equality... after his time on Stewjon the idea was so important. Freedom to be what and who he wanted to be. That was something he had to know.

Ger finally knew what he needed and wanted to say.

"Just promise me that you wont run off and do something stupid... like get yourself killed. I meant it when I said I don't know what I would do if you were not in my life. There would be an emptiness... so promise me."

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

His arms wrapped around her and Scherezade curled into as tiny of a ball as she could make herself in his embrace. He wasn't that much bigger than she was, but the difference was just enough for it to count. She closed her eyes, her ear pressed against the beat of his heart. She could hear it, beating slowly and steady. The heart of a warrior. For a moment then, she could see it. Not a vision, no - something that was behind her eyes, something that looked like a gigantic spider web set against a murky background. She knew what it was almost as soon as she saw it. The Great Web, where every strand was connected to and affected the others. Behind her eyes, she could almost touch it. Almost. And then just as quickly as it had appeared to her, it was gone. She realized now that the Web had been alive; humming and beating, in the same tempo with Gerwald's heart.

She blinked and snuggled deeper, not wanting to let go. Gerwald smelled of freedom, of pine forests, of musk, of everything that was good and worthy of defending outside of Endelaan, and she knew on a newer and deeper level now that she would let entire worlds burn if it meant she could somehow protect him, somehow remain close to him. The thought of truly letting go was too painful to bear. Missions, meetings, life would always find reasons for them to have to spend time away from each other, but to lose him beyond that, to lose whatever piece of his heart that she resided in, to lose the connection that they had, that would be unbearable. That would be enough to return her emotional state to the Darkness.

But there was no Darkness when he was around. She inhaled him again, letting his scent and his arms protect her. There were many things out there that she was not ready to face. Dangers lurked at every corner. There were people who wanted her dead, both within and without the CIS.

"You know I can't promise that," she said with a little smile as she looked up, scratching her nose against the edges of his beard. "Like you, I am a Warrior. Somewhere there's a piece of parchment with my death date written on it. I rush into danger and I don't come out until I'm covered in blood that does not only or even always belong to my enemies."

It was true, and not just in the poetic sense. She didn't know how to be careful. She didn't know how to guard herself. Force, she didn't even know how to wear armor. All she had was herself, a pistol, and some knives. And that was enough to put fear in a sufficient amount of people.

"But I'll do my best," she added, "and I'll burn that parchment if that's what needed."

A final inhale, and she kissed him again.

Things would be fine. As long as he wasn't leaving her or kicking her out of his life, they would find the way to make what this was, work.

"Whatever happens," Scherezade felt like it needed to be said, "I'm glad you pulled me into that dance on Ryloth. I wouldn't undo that moment even if I had the power to."

[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

”I know dammit,” he said resigning to the fact he was asking the impossible. ”I just know that you go looking for trouble sometimes and I could only imagine how much more you’d want to find it if you were mad, or even worse...”

Ger wasn’t going to say heartbroken, but Scherezade had alluded to it when she said whatever happens. No, they couldn’t regret anything, nor would Gerwald. She was right about being glad everything had happened as it had. Time was more on their side than it wasn’t, both of them were young, and what was meant to be is what would happen.

A soft smile barely pulled at the corner of his mouth as Gerwald thought about the gods which were worshipped on Stewjon. One such god was said to cause destiny to unfold for each one according to a plan long written. Gerwald didn’t want to think he had no choice in his destiny, and for the most part he did not worship the gods, though the reality of the spirits of the Mandragora made Ger wonder about the supernatural. He longed to be a free spirit, and to make his own choices, but he still seemed a victim of fate.

It was meant for him to meet Katrine. Meeting Katrine had led to meeting Scherezade, and the night by the fire, the dance, it had been destiny as well. All of this was meant to happen for a reason, and whatever happened, wherever it all led, it would also be destiny.

That word kept coming back to his mind, to everything that was happening now.

He sighed again.

”So new plan... let’s just make as many moments as possible... and damn what may come... even though we will have to embrace whatever fate has in store...”

It was Gerwald’s way of saying they needed to live in the moment. Something they were both very good at doing.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Looking for trouble. Scherezade nodded, though she wasn't sure why. She wasn't going to actually go and actively look for it. It just... Trouble had a way of finding her. Everywhere. All the time. She didn't even need to do much for it to happen other than just breathe. Just like with Gerwald. That night by the bonfire, she had not planned on even meeting him, and when she suggested the dance the idea had been do to some majorly awkward freestyle dancing that would be so bad that it'd cause him to lose some of the uptighty screws. The rest of how it all played out was stuff she would not in a million years would have thought possible. And here they were now.

She couldn't reply to that statement, she simply couldn't. There was nothing in her arsenal that she could respond with.

When Gerwald smile, Scherezade looked up, seeing him do so. It made her smile a little too. And then he sighed and her facial expressions mirrored his. They were yoyo'ing around going from one extreme emotion to the next and back that it was confusing. and terrifying. She wondered if she would ever be able to stop being this sort of terrified. He spoke of new plans, and many moments, and she nodded enthusiastically to it all.

Until he said fate.

"Fate," she whispered, and closed her eyes. She hated that word. "I don't believe in that," she explained after a short silence, "Fate is just a big fancy word for outcome. One that you can only see in hindsight. I think it's an empty word that's just meant to make us feel better. Sort of like believing in gods. It only makes you feel better if yo believe in it, but it doesn't really mean anything."

She... Had not intended to start a philosophical debate.

"So let's make our moments," she tried to save it, and leaned in for another kiss.


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

”Fate... gods... those are stongly held beliefs on Stewjon,” Gerwald said, pausing long enough to make her fret, then stuck out his tongue. ”I don’t believe like I should, according to father, but he doesn’t understand the Lupine. We are supposed to be masters of our own fate, and yet... I also wonder,” he shrugged and stood.

Gerwald offered a hand to the sithling. Scherezade seemed to be doing much better. It was the drink... the drink always worked. Water was always best, but the cure never failed.

Something had changed, or maybe it was just how Gerwald felt. There was an odd feeling about how things were left in the moment, but it was foolishness to keep pursuing. There was only hurt and confusion if the timing was wrong. Gerwald had watched enough friends go through their own heartbreaks to know timing was key. For now they had their adventures and moments.

”Moments it is then. And a shower, we stink of alcohol. Also food, but not here. You’ve got to know a place that serves typical Coruscsnti fare. I want to taste something new! Try it once right?”

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

"We make our own choices," Scherezade replied, her voice threatening to heat, "we decide what we want to with our lives. There is no greater intervention. Our choices are what leads us to where we go, our choices and the choices of those around us who affect it."

She looked at Gerwald and took his hand, the warmth of his calloused skin sending joyful chills up her arm. She never wanted to let go. She knew she'd have to.

"We are both free, Gerwald," she dug into her point, "Stewjon is part of your past, and it's part of your existence. But you are a free man, and you are free to make your own choices. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. And if they really insist you can point them in the direction of my knives."

There would never be denying that she was up for killing. But when it came to someone making Gerwald think less of himself or the possibilities that were open for them, it increased all her will to go out there and cause maximum damage. Whether it was mutual or not, the Lupine had wedged himself into a part of her heart, and it would take more than she thought was possible to get him out of there.

An hour later, the two were washed and dressed. It would have taken a fourth of that time, but unlike Gerwald, Scherezade's hair had not been detangled while they were speaking, and she almost purred when he gently started helping her out with it. There was something incredibly intimate about the act of touching someone else's hair like that. Earlier, she had thought she'd only used it as an excuse to have a reason to touch Gerwald. Now... Now she was beginning to comprehend that there was more to it.

When they walked out to the balcony, Scherezade lofted a brow. There were a few speeders there, all of them with the keys in.

"Since our stomachs are empty and we can't throw up right now..." she offered, "wanna learn how riding a speeder bike works? I don't know either. Not yet, anyway."



[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald wasn't going to argue about this... it was just his musings. There were things he was trying to work out in his own mind, and at times his thoughts came out of his mouth. He did what he saw his father do on many occasions.

He smiled and nodded.

Stewjon was his past, but it was also where his siblings were. The events of the past few months had made him realize how much he missed his brother and sister. Alwine was likely livid that Gerwald had left her behind, and Varick... well he wasn't exactly sure how upset Varick was over the idea, but they had all three been close. He wanted them to know the people he knew. He wanted them to know Scherezade and Katrine. Suddenly his past mattered in a way it had never mattered to him before. There was a future he wanted people from his past be part of.

Ger looked at the speeders at her suggestion.

She didn't know how they worked either. Gerwald shot her a look. It was a mix of realizing there was no choice he had in this, and genuine curiosity to learn how.

"Why jump from cab to cab when you can drive one?"

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

If Gerwald had voiced his thoughts regarding the matter of choice, Scherezade would have been able to verbally smack him for thinking like that. She knew her own potential limits tended to stray much further away than those of other people, and she knew that by extension, there were more than enough things she'd have to do alone. She wouldn't have forced t on him if he had said no.

But he was making a witty comment, so there was no way for her to know he thought he had no choice in the matter.

She flashed him one of her wicked grins and looked at the speeders. They were big, slightly bulky things, but these were the things you needed on Coruscant, when flying close to the ground was not really an option. Each could fit two people, a rider and a passenger, but she figured Gerwald would want to try driving as well.

Scherezade walked over to one of them and looked

"On/off button, added speed, stop," she said as she pointed at the buttons, "I'm guessing the steering wheel does up and down as well as left and right." These things... Didn't really come with a manual. But there was nothing she recognized as a stick shift of sorts, so it was probably automatic enough.

"And if it starts crashing you can jump off and let it crash. You're more important than a lump of metal," she said as she looked at him, meaning every word. She'd sent Celestine an apology letter if something happened. Other than that, this was their turn to have fun.


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald stood over the sithling as she explained her view of the controls. He nodded as it seemed to make sense, and walked over to another speeder. A wicked grin tugged at his mouth, but he would save it for when he had gotten the hand of driving the speeder.

"Seems simple enough, and I'm guessing it is some kind of hybrid between the military speeder and your ship. These things stay up in the traffic lanes somehow."

He shrugged because he didn't really know. Physics was not a subject Gerwald knew anything about. All he knew was gravity was a very real thing, and even the force could not save him from it's laws every time. There was risk, skill, knowing one could stop, but there was also stupid. Scherezade was reckless, and opened that up within Gerwald, but she was not stupid, and neither was he.

Gerwald climbed into a speeder of his own, and hit the start button. Scherezade would get the gist of what he was thinking, especially as he winked at her as the machine took off. This time it was his turn to leave her in his dust. The girl had won 2 competitions between them, and Gerwald had to redeem himself somehow. Even if it meant making up his own game and winning it without Scherezade catching on. The problem was, she would catch on. They were about to race.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Scherezade shrugged at Gerwald's guess. She didn't understand anything about any of that. She understood that something either worked, or it didn't work, and these speeders were in the category of things that worked, or they wouldn't have been there. Celestine might chew her out for just taking them, but right now she didn't care. She wanted to create another moment with Gerwald, to give him another new thing that was a first.

But while she was lost in thought, Gerwald had already started a speeder and took off. She almost missed his wink as well. She cursed, umping on the one that was nearest to her, slamming her fist into the button that turned it on.

It only took moments before she raced right behind him. There was no way she was going to let him win this. The mere thought of whether or not this was even a race had not crossed her mind; the situation was simple - there were two of them and he took off, which meant that she absolutely had to catch up with him.

The traffic in the streets was busier than it had been the day before. More specifically, less vehicles who were driving in faster speeds. Scherezade controlled the wheel, realizing it was almost like second nature. She had no kraks to give of any kind; she wheeled around, below, and above other vehicles, and she let out a scream of pure enjoyment as she did so.

The only downside to her fun was that Gerwald was still ahead of her.

The Sithling narrowed her eyes and sped up. He was not going to win. She was going to reach him, and pass him, and stick her tongue out once she did.


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald didn't look back to see where Scherezade was. All he knew was that he had to win something. Weaving through the heave traffic seemed to be easier than he thought it should be. He was going to have to talk to Scherezade about it. Was it the force? It had to be. Gerwald seemed to know when and where to turn to avoid getting hit before he needed to. It was like the farseeing thing she had shown him.

The speeder pushed straight for another high rise. Gerwald pulled on the steering wheel taking a hard turn upward and ran along the face of the building. It was a thrill to know that she was following him, a thrill knowing that they were cruising through the city planet at break neck speeds. He howled out of excitement then.

The engine sputtered... the centrifugal force of gravity pulled its weight and now Gerwald found the speeder taking a nose dive. He wasn't panicked. Something in him, the force, told him to restart the engine. Gerwald kept pushing the ignition... trying to restart the engine. He was heading toward a landing platform, howling as it seemed he was going to crash.

Finally the engine restarted, and Gerwald pulled up just in time. He laughed hard as he finally turned to see if Scherezade had been following him.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Everything in her body screamed danger when she heard Gerwald's speeder sputter. She had been following him closely behind, trying but not managing to get ahead of him in between the crazy turns, the ups and downs, and the other butthats that were inhabiting the streets. That had been fun. But then when she realized his speeder was giving him trouble, she almost panicked. Games were fun. Actual danger... Well that was fun too, but not when it meant something might happen to Gerwald.

She was determined to make sure he got out of it alive. She herself drove up the face of a parallel building, eyes always kept on him. They hadn't even thought to bring helmets or other protective gear. And now Gerwald was going down.

Scherezae cursed and tried to turn her speeder around as well. It wasn't working the way she wanted it to. Gerwald was close a landing platform, but landing would be problematic if he didn't get control of his speeder.

There was no need for thoughts, no need to calculate. She knew what she had to do.

Letting go of the speeder, Scherezade left it alone to crash into wherever. She angled herself down at Gerwald, her body vertical so she could fall faster through the air. Her plan was to grab him and find a way to land softly. But then at the last second, he pulled up in time, managing to gain control of the thing.

She cursed again and kicked the wall of the building now, sending her flying forward. Scherezade hoped that her calculation had been right. She'd taken his speed and hers into mind. And if she'd done the right calculation, she would have achieved the impossible - landing on Gerwald's speeder itself.



[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald’s heart was in his throat and his throat was in his stomach. The whole fall had been a feeling unlike the free fall from the day before. Being strapped in was crazy... Ger wasn’t sure he liked it.

When he looked, Scherezade was pushing off a building and flying toward his speeder, and as if she had done this a million times before she landed in the seat next to him and strapped in. He was still laughing.

”I think I’m ready for my own ship now,” he said. ”You wanna help me pick one out or should be beg Metus for a gunship?”

The idea of a big ship with lots of guns was very appealing to the male psyche. What Gerwald needed was his own personal ship for getting places. If he had one, he could get his brother and sister.

”Something anyway... then I can have a way to get my siblings off Stewjon.”

His pack was important to him. Gerwald wanted them, and wanted Scherezade to know them. They would like her... maybe... Alwine would have an opinion at least, and Ger could guess it.

”What’s the best way to get a ship?”

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

The strapping in thing had definitely been a mistake. Scherezade looked at the belt closed across her midrif and blinked in surprise, her fingers working quickly to undo it. Her stunts demanded freedom. She was not going to get injured just because she was stuck inside a belt. But Gerwald was laughing, and there was no force in the 'verse that could keep her from laughing wildly with him.

And since she hated being strapped in so much, she decided that she wasn't going to be in the passenger seat either. With the elegance of an acrobat, she climbed up and sat in front of Gerwald, never removing his hands from the wheel. His arms were around her now and she relished in the feel of it. She never wanted it to stop.

"If you beg Metus for a ship he'll give you one," she answered now that she was close enough to be able to without screaming, "but you'll have to wait a year or two before you actually get it."

The best way to get a ship. What was the best way to get a ship? She really had no clue. But she knew where she could get one.

Carefully, she adjusted his hands towards the direction she had in mind. They needed to be in a non-moving place to do that. There were entire catalogs on the holonet. She'd show him how to use it. But they still had a few minutes to go, and she used them to rest her hands on his legs, inhaling his scent as it mingled with the wind flying by their faces.

Her mind went back to their conversation on the bathroom floor but she forcefully shoved it down. She would think about it later, when he was sleeping, or maybe after they were back on Ryloth.

After what seemed like much too short of a time, she instructed Gerwald to land. They were close to the place she wanted; an old fashioned diner, with droids that served food while going on skates. It had a retro feel to it though she couldn't really pinpoint which era exactly it retro'd to.

As she had at the bar, she took her seat next to him, and pulled out her holopad. Her head rested against his shoulder, almost as if something inside her screamed to touch him as much as possible before they had to part ways again because it would be a while before it happened again.

"This is how you connect to the holonet," she explained, "I can't pinpoint you to an exact place to buy a ship, but you can find a ship you like through all the holocatalogues, and then you figure out where's closest to you and then you can go get it."

The droid arrived then, handing them their menus. Scherezade closed the pad and smiled. They could do this after they had food. She wasn't hungry yet, but Gerwald had a much stronger appetite than her.

"You have siblings?!" Scherezade asked in surprise, her eyes going wide. She almost dropped the pad from her hands as she stared at him, her back straight, the look of sheer surprise all too evident on her face, "you described Stewjon as one of the most unfriendly places in the 'verse for a Lupine. And you've been with the CIS for a while and they're still over there, without the ability to leave?" she remembered what he'd told her. They did not belong to a caste that could afford taking vacations. So when Gerwald was free of the shackles of Stewjon society, his siblings and mother... Well, her mother could stay there if she wanted, but his siblings had done nothing to deserve such a fate. Or least, nothing that he had mentioned.

"Gerwald, why didn't you tell me?" she asked, the pain all too obvious now in her voice. She had told him of her twin brother, whom she had not seen in half a millennia. Whom she did not even know whether he was alive or not. She would drop everything she was doing and fight space whales to get to him if she knew he was somewhere. "You don't have to wait until you buy a ship. You can use my ship. We can leave early and make a detour and go fetch them. Hell, you can take my ship on your own and go get them if you feel more comfortable that way. You can't leave them behind like that."


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Gerwald shrugged. Why hadn’t he told her about his siblings? Maybe because he was trying to forget that he had left them behind. When he left to join the Confederacy, he left everything. Explaining why he had left his siblings opened him up to more questions about how much his force use had really been the factor. The more he asked himself he knew he would have left anyway, but the force had no longer been the reason. He’d left because he’d found another Lupine.

”I left them all behind, that whole life. It is hostile, and I feel guilty for leaving them but.... Finding out our family was not the only Lupine family in the Galaxy made me want to leave at the first opportunity. Even my family couldn’t answer the questions I had. Leaving with Katrine was the only way to get them...”

It was the truth. Perhaps Gerwald could have taken them all, but he had made the choice to leave. They would not be happy with him.

Ger looked at the droids on skates. It was humorous, and he ordered the greasiest thing he could find. Scherezade explained the holonet to him, which was not fully clear, but enough that Gerwald got the idea. It wasn’t that she hadn’t been clear, the idea itself was new to him.

”We are close, very close. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel guilty about leaving them. I can only imagine how my sister reacted when she found I had been gone by dawn.”

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Hearing him explain why he left his siblings almost shattered her heart. She couldn't understand his choice, not really. Not when he had siblings who were close to him and hadn't even known they'd been left behind. It was worse than leaving a baby rancor to fend for itself against oncoming traffic. If he hadn't said that he felt the guilt of it ever day, she would have burst at him, scolded him. There was nothing more she wanted than to find her own twin brother. No one, nothing, would keep her from it if she knew where her bother was. The problem was mostly that she had no clue.

"You should feel guilty," she voiced. But there was no sternness to her voice. The entire situation simply hurt. She could imagine the amazement at discovering that his family was not the only Lupine family in the galaxy. She could not imagine choosing to leave his siblings over it. His mother, sure, Scherezade didn't like that woman anyway. But close siblings...

Gently, she took his hand in hers, her fingers entwining in his. "But you shouldn't let that guilt eat you," she resumed, "leaving them behind was a horrible thing to do. But you should not be forced to live with the guilt of something you can fix."

She could feel the heat of his hand slowly spreading into his, and she covered their entwined fingers with her other hand, nudging just a little, demanding that he looked at her. She had to look at his face. She had to look into his eyes. Until a mere few moments ago, she had thought that Gerwald was a man who could do no intentional wrong. She'd been wrong about it, but in revealing himself to be somewhat human after all, her yearning for him only increased.

But it didn't mean that he was off the hook.

"Please, Gerwald," she said, "don't abandon them there. The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be, for all of you." But that wasn't what she had wanted to say at all, was it. "You need to pull yourself together and go get them. And I am here for you when you do, whenever you do. I meant it when I said you could take my ship if you want it to be a private affair. You can leave today if you want to."

She leaned forward, resting her chin against his shoulder, still holding on to his hands.

"I think..." Scherezade said, "I think it's these hardest moments that define us."


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

“You should feel guilty...”

Gerwald didn’t need Scherezade to agree with him.

”Ouch! You don’t have to agree with me...” Gerwald stuck his tongue out.

He sighed as he listened to Scherezade. Gerwald knew they couldn’t leave them, but he also knew he had to complete his assignments first. He was still on probation with the Knights. Could he just leave and get his siblings when he had responsablities? No, why bring them to the Confederacy if he couldn’t secure a place for them.

”When the next mission is over then we can get them. I’ve been saving the credits to make sure they have a place to live when I go and get them. I know they can’t stay. All this freedom has taught me how opressed they really are. No Lupine should be under what they are. It’s wrong.”

A droid came by with the food Gerwald had ordered. His smile came back as he looked at the food.

”The hard times do define us, and how we handle them. Though let’s hope we don’t have to test that theory soon. For right now this... Bantha Burger? It looks to die for. I promise I’ll tell you about them, but we need to eat.”

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Scherezade grinned when Gerwald stuck his tongue out. She knew the mechanics of lighting up a heavy mood with a silly movement all too well, and she knew she couldn't really judge him for that part. Still, something in it gnawed on her, and she felt as though not everything had been said. Not yet. But when she looked for the words she wanted to voice, her mind ran empty. She wasn't a Lupine. All the information she had was... Well, it was mostly from Gerwald himself. Katrine never really talked aobut it much. But she could assume that if a non-Lupine would have had a hard time with being stranded on a place like Stewjon, for someone who was a Lupine it might be a thousand times over harder.

Her mind distracted by the food, she realized she hadn't ordered yet. "Bantha burgers are awesome," she agreed, "but I'm more in the mood for a giant pile of bantha wings."

Bantha wings. They had been her mother's favorite. They definitely ranked at the top of the list for Scherezade, even if she'd been slightly too scared to look up what they actually contained. Banthas, as a rule, did not have wings. Thankfully though, it was a proper junk meal, and it was only a few second from the moment she asked for it to the moment the plate was in front of her.

"So I never told you this," she started, having already let go of Gerwald's hands, "but I sort of have another ship. One that the Confederacy gave me. It's much bigger than the Giggledust." She'd gotten the keys well over a month ago, though she had never actually used it, "it's been docked on Ryloth this entire time, but there's something about the Giggledust that makes me not really want to trade, even if it's a huge upgrade. But the ship is big, and you can use it too until you have all the credits you need for your siblings." She paused. "For your siblings, I mean. Not for you. You can get your own place to stay when we're not spending our time off together."

With that she returned a sticking the tongue out to Gerwald and laughed.

Scherezade took the first wing. It really looked like a wing. She used two finger to gently place it in her mouth, and when it came out a moment later, there was nothing left but very shiny and very white bones. She would've been able to finish the platter in less than a few minutes if she wouldn't pace herself.

"I'm leaving on the mission to Melida/Daan this week," she found herself saying, and wincing. She hadn't really planned on telling him that before they were on their way back to Ryloth. Sign up for the mission had been purely on a voluntarily basis due to the dangers involved. Plague world, missing scientists, things you couldn't stab... "I'm not sure how long it'll actually take this time before we're back."


[member="Gerwald Lechner"]

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

Scherezade’s wings smelled amazing. The carnivore wasn’t sure his burger was going to satisfy his appetite anymore. He waved the droid down and ordered two more pounds of wings. His size alone required the extra calories, but his activity level almost tripled what he needed a day. Gerwald could eat a lot when he needed to, and when he was not a wolf.

She had another ship and offered it on a temporary basis. He was about to make up a reason why he couldn’t accept that offer, likely completely based in his ego, but then she mentioned the mission to Melida/Daan.

Ger dropped his burger.

The mission had been to find a missing team, check out a crash site, and something about a virus. He didn’t like the idea of Scherezade going. They had just talked about making more firsts, Ger had mentioned that he needed to sort out his feelings and where they stood. Ger had made her promise not to do anything stupid, or tried to make her promise. She never would be able to.

”What if something...” Ger didn’t finish the sentence. ”Why would you volunteer... what if something happens? You have me, and you have Katrine... you can’t keep rushing off into these things that put you in the middle of danger. I’ve seen your body... there are not many places for you to get cut and poked anymore...”

Ger had suddenly lost his appetite. He was not thrilled about this news.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]