This post takes place immediately following the thread: Then Buds the Ardor.
Four years ago
Four years ago
"Brandyn!"
He barely heard his father call his name through the blaring rage that filled his skull. The door closed behind him. Brandyn opened his mouth to scream, but only a desperate gasp of air escaped.
A beep came at the door. His father was wanting entrance, but the door was locked. There was a thump on the door.
"Brandyn. Let me in. I want to talk."
Brandyn didn't respond, but stalked back and forth across the floor thinking of all the ways and times his father had impeded his dreams. Why couldn't he be a Jedi? Why couldn't he spend time with Cybelle? Even his birthday gifts. Why did he have to open his after Briana every single year? What sort of stupid tradition was that?
Brandyn paused in the middle of the room. At some point in his pacing he had picked up the old dusty stuffed animal that his father had bought him when he was small. It had been after a trip away on some undoubtedly super important business trip. He looked down at the small Loth-cat and hated it.
The door slid open. His father, flanked by two men from the security team, stood in the doorway.
"That will be all," said the elder Sal-Soren to the men who promptly tilted their heads and disappeared beyond the view of the doorway.
Brandyn stood, feet resolutely planted, in the middle of the room as if he were facing down the greatest foe of his young life. Of all the Jedi epics he had watched on holo, he knew that they all had their nemesis. Right now, his nemesis was one Baros Sal-Soren. His nostrils flared, waiting for his father to try and patch the unpatchable.
"I remember when I bought that for you," said his father, subtly pointing at the Loth-cat. The elder Sal-Soren looked so big, so hard in the face. He appeared unreachable.
Brandyn dropped the toy. His father seemed annoyed by this.
"I don't remember," Brandyn said finally, breaking a few lingering seconds of tension.
"He does talk," said his father.
Brandyn inhaled sharply. There was plenty he wanted to say. Each sentence filled with words he no longer cared that he would regret. But right now, the greatest punishment he felt he could offer to this meddling old man was silence.
Seconds more passed.
"You knew the rules, Brandyn," his father said, shoulders seeming to roll a little prior to speaking.
His words were met with only silence, and a glare from Brandyn that the boy hoped would melt his father from the inside. Brandyn clenched his teeth, fighting the urge to blurt out all his mind and heart, dumping years of frustrations all at once.
"It's not Cybelle's fault..."
"Don't say her name," Brandyn all but spat out, his stance changing with one foot forward and a finger pointing through the air at the greying Baros. Hers was a name to fair to be sullied by his speech.
His father looked stunned for a quarter of a second, but relaxed into his normal cool distanced self without a fuss.
"You broke the rules, son," Baros said, straightening his stiff coat, "you knew them, and you broke them..."
Brandyn's breathing intensified.
His father raised his voice, seemingly trying to maintain dominance over his son.
"...I am sorry it had to be this way. But there would have been no pain, if you had honoured my wishes."
"Your wishes?" Brandyn whispered with a dusting of vulnerability that dissipated in the wind of emotion, "what about my wishes, father?"
His father raised a hand and opened his mouth to speak. Brandyn was done letting him speak. His finger now worked over time pointing through the air at the man who had taken from him what felt like everything.
"I have wanted to be a Jedi since my...first...memory. Every stick I fashioned into a lightsaber...confiscated...every time I dared show some talent with the Force...reprimanded..."
"Bran..."
"I am not finished."
"Yes. You. Are," came the booming voice of his father.
Startled, Brandyn jumped back a little. With all the complaints he had about his father, he had never once been yelled at. While the anger still boiled, a small dose of fear made its bed in his being as well.
"What I have done. What I always do. Is for your protection. For our families...protection. You do not understand the danger. You are too young to know," Baros said, stepping slowly across the room, "but I ...have seen...with my...own...eyes...what can happen to someone when they give in to the dark side. All the good intentions cannot save you when the darkness grips your soul, son."
Baros reached out to lay a hand on Brandyn's shoulder. Brandyn purposefully moved back to avoid the moment of familiarity. His eyes were still blazing, his breathing still heavy, but he listened out of fear and a slowly encroaching curiosity.
"It's not worth the risk," said his father, withdrawing his hand and looking sad for some reason, "there are other ways to make a difference for good. Your mother and I have done much good...without the need of her pursuing the path of the Jedi any longer."
The hypocrisy of marrying a Jedi was not lost on the young man. It made him boil with a sense of righteous indignation. Why should he listen to someone that would love a Jedi but not let his son do the same?
Brandyn paused mid-thought, looking away from his father to consider Cybelle and her true importance to him.
"You are grounded for the rest of the month," his father said, after a moment.
Brandyn's glare returned again with the full weight of the insult brought to bare in his words. "That's not fair! What? You haven't punished me enough already?"
His father was already turning to walk out the door. For some reason, his shoulders seemed to sag. Brandyn was glad. And he did not let up either as he stalked behind his old man.
"One day, I am going to leave this place and never come back. Do you hear me? One day...I am going to leave. Not even say goodbye. And I hope I never see you again. I hope I never see this place again."
Slowly turning after leaving the room, his father stood blocking the door. Just before he tapped the controls to close the door, he simply said, "I will have someone sent for you when breakfast is ready tomorrow."
The door slid closed quickly between the young man and his father. Even as it did, Brandyn muttered dryly, "I hate you."
The elder Sal-Soren followed after his son. "Brandyn!"
The young man disappeared behind the quickly closing door. Baros grimaced, ruing his decision to go in during Cybelle and Brandyn's official, or unofficial, date and break up their party. He should have dealt with it when his son had gotten home, but if the girl had been encouraging this behaviour then she needed to be spoken to as well.
Baros pounded on the door a couple of times. "Brandyn. Let me in. I want to talk."
The door was locked. He turned back, looking down the stairs at the guards that had walked in slightly after he and Brandyn. He waved at them to get their attention. Within moments they were atop the stairs.
"Unlock this door for me," he ordered.
"Right away, sir," came the respond from the bean-pole thin guard.
Baros wondered just how effective the man would actually be if called on to defend the family. He filed the thought away for discussion with the head of security.
The door opened surprisingly easy. Another note for the head of security.
"That will be all," Baros said to the guards, who promptly departed back down the stairs.
There was his son. Defiant. Mad. All justifiably so. But in Baros' mind they were both justified in what had taken place. He was not angry with Brandyn, but understood that he was fighting a losing battle to keep his son from the path of the Jedi.
Baros cautiously stepped into the room. The door closing behind him. "I remember when I bought that for you."
The toy was dropped. Baros' heart sank a little. Maybe, he had pushed to much. Over protection was certainly always his greatest danger as a parent. The toy hitting the ground felt like a moment that would stick with Baros till the day he died. A signifier that his son had stepped beyond his childhood, beyond his father's control.
"I don't remember."
The pain in Baros' chest increased just a little more.
"He does talk," he said in an instantly regretted attempt to lighten the mood.
Brandyn was stubborn. Like his sisters. Like his mother. Like his father probably most of all. He knew that Baros wanted to talk, and was refusing to give what his father wanted. The pain in Baros' chest spiked. His heart maybe skipping a beat.
"You knew the rules, Brandyn," Baros said, hoping he sounded more remorseful than tyrannical.
Probably not his best starting point, but Baros' mind was becoming clouded with fear. As much as he didn't want his son to follow the Force into darkness and death, he most certainly did not want to be the catalyst.
He would try another tack, "It's not Cybelle's fault..."
"Don't say her name."
Baros took the slightest of steps back. Around his son, on the desks and dressers around the room, various objects began to float as if dangled by invisible chords.
This was getting out of control. Baros had seen this before when he saw the woman he loved touch the dark side in order to save his life. At the time, he wasn't sure if Teyla was even aware of how much had happened in that moment, and he suspected Brandyn might be oblivious to his affect on his surroundings even now.
Baros took a breath. He had to control the situation.
"You broke the rules, son," Baros said calmly, trying to reason with the boy, help him see the disobedience as the main problem, not the peripheral issues at hand, "you knew them, and you broke them..."
A jar in the back, filled with all manner of collected nothings, began to rattled. A crack appeared with a sharp ting. Baros lifted his voice, to try and get his message through. "...I am sorry it had to be this way. But there would have been no pain, if you had honoured my wishes."
Baros knew he was not doing well. His mind clouded by the ache in his heart. He knew that there was a better way to do this, but lacked the presence of mind to find the words. His own failure hit home with the shaking in his son's voice as he spoke again.
"Your wishes? What about my wishes, father?"
Baros tried to speak, noting some larger objects begin to rise from the ground behind his son.
"I have wanted to be a Jedi since my...first...memory. Every stick I fashioned into a lightsaber...confiscated...every time I dared show some talent with the Force...reprimanded..."
Is this all her remembered? Not the love that he had purposely poured on his children, knowing that he had to make up for the hurt of not having at least Brandyn's dream. Briana had never been any trouble in this regard.
"Bran..."
"I am not finished."
Any moment now, Baros felt like the floating items could become projectiles. He needed something to shock Brandyn into submission, just for a moment. It wasn't something that he wanted. It was something he had promised himself first, and then Teyla, that he would never do. But he had to. For the first time in his son's life, his father would yell at him. "Yes. You. Are."
The almost-projectiles behind Brandyn began quickly to find their resting place. Baros had to make Brandyn understand, while the window was open.
"What I have done. What I always do. Is for your protection. For our families...protection. You do not understand the danger. You are too young to know," Baros said, stepping closer to his son, each word bringing him closer to tears, "but I ...have seen...with my...own...eyes...what can happen to someone when they give in to the dark side. All the good intentions cannot save you when the darkness grips your soul, son."
He reached out to his son. It was as if a knife pierced his heart when Brandyn's response was to move away. Had Baros broken them forever? Lost what he sought so desperately to save?
"It's not worth the risk," said his father, voice wavering with the realization of his folly, but he still begged, "there are other ways to make a difference for good. Your mother and I have done much good...without the need of her pursuing the path of the Jedi to any great degree."
And then, Brandyn looked away. His own son could no longer look at him. Baros had become the villain to his son, perhaps irreversibly.
Baros slipped into a resolute stance, adopting the granite like exterior that had become so much his go to for dealing with his family when there was trouble. Inside though, he wept for the folly of his own endeavour. Rued the ideology that had sped him towards this day of destruction.
"You are grounded for the rest of the month," he said, to finalize the conversation. It was perhaps harsh, but he needed to have some form of punishment so that the other children would know that Brandyn didn't get away with sneaking out.
Baros turned away as the expected follow up from his young son rang out.
"That's not fair! What? You haven't punished me enough already?"
With each step away, Baros felt the weight of seventeen years of organization, secret meetings, arguments with his Teyla and the look of hope destroyed in his little boys eyes over and over again. He thought he could control his children's fate. That was the biggest folly for any parent.
"One day, I am going to leave this place and never come back. Do you hear me? One day...I am going to leave. Not even say goodbye. And I hope I never see you again. I hope I never see this place again."
His son continued to talk. Words that Baros had heard before. Not just from Brandyn, and not just for this sort of matter. He had a rebellious quartet of kids, but he felt this time it was not just frustrations loosed in idle threat. Hopefully Brandyn would calm in a few days and it would all blow over, as it had before. But perhaps not.
"I will have someone sent for you when breakfast is ready tomorrow."
As the door closed, Baros heard Brandyn utter some words that finally broke the older man's shell.
"I hate you."
For just a moment, Baros stood there, knees locked. And he cried for regret, for love, and for the utter madness of his attempts to protect the ones that he loved.
