He had begun to drift off. The view from the window had been amazing, but the sun had set now. Brandyn felt his head tip back and he jumped with a start as if he had been about to fall. Cybelle's head was still resting on his chest. He was pretty sure she was asleep, but he didn't dare move to find out.
"Well, this could be awkward," he whispered to himself.
"No."
It was just a breath of a word...But she'd either heard him, felt him, or was dreaming of something she felt like she ought to say no to. Cybelle didn't so much as move while breathing evenly. Comfortable, safe, and warm. Awake or asleep - She couldn't have been happier.
"Sorry if I woke you," he said quietly. He didn't know what he would have done if she hadn't…if she was…was she awake?
"No,” she mumbled again, nuzzling deeper, and curling into his arms. It was the only place she wanted to be. The only place that felt...Real. "No apology."
"My neck is going to get sore," he said after a long pause.
"I'll fix it,” Cybelle slowly lifted her head and looked at him with sleepy eyes. Though, there was a cute smile on her features that was both beguiling and too innocent for words. "...It's a good excuse for a shoulder rub."
It wasn't sore yet. Brandyn didn't speak up. "I wouldn't complain," he said, with a quirked brow before reaching for her shoulder and rubbing the back of her neck with his palm.
She made a small sound that was akin to a purr before curling back into him like a sleepy kitten. He would put her right back to sleep that way. "It's a date then, old man."
"Old man!" He said with a burst of laughter. It was too loud for the moment. "What does that make you?"
"A young, lovely, lady with a thing for old men...,” she murmured without quite thinking how it might have sounded. His laugh was loud...But she liked it that way. "I think I saw a grey hair this morning. It's a nice touch."
He was dumbfounded. "Older men?" He was chuckling. He was barely half a year older than her. "So there's a story behind this. What older man made a grab for your heart before I rescued you from your gray doom?"
"Nice girls don't kiss and tell...I'm nice,” she replied still a little sleepy, though, with a touch of tongue-in-cheek sass that she might not have had if she were completely awake. "Besides...You probably have a trail of broken hearts for me to contend with."
"Whoa. Don't spin it on me. I need to know which silverfox I have to defend against," he said with a smirk. His hand gently played with her hair.
"I would say that you've already won... I'm the one that needs to be on the defensive,” she retuned with a little laugh, turning her head, so that she could press a kiss to his cloth-covered chest. Errant but warranted.
A soft smile was the result of the kiss. He brushed some hair away from her face. "Again with the spin. You have nothing to worry about. No one to worry about."
"...Apparently you've not seen you. Or met you. I wouldn't...” Cybelle trailed off with fondness, though, there was a bit of melancholy creeping in. "I wouldn't blame you if..."
"If what?" He asked after a long pause. His words betrayed the sense of uncertainty that hit Brandyn.
Cybelle hesitated to bring it up. It was a door she didn't want to cross, exposing, what she considered to be a childish insecurity. "If you got...Distracted. You have Queens and Countesses just...Waiting."
Brandyn found himself involuntarily shaking his head. "There may have been expressions of interest but there are certainly no…Queens…or Countesses…waiting for me."
"I met Velda...Remember?” she replied, her nose squinching at the perfectly lovely woman that had obviously been surprised to see her in Brandyn's flat. "I may not be as worldly as some but I'm not so sure expression covers it."
Brandyn's head tipped back and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Velda? I mean…before we…found each other…there was one night…but it's nothing. And she is definitely not the type to sit around pining after…well…anyone. You have nothing to worry about."
Cybelle hid her face down in his chest again. So...There had been something between them. She wasn't sure how to feel about it and closed her eyes. "Isn't she?" The question was far from accusatory. Speaking of something...Women just tended to know. A Countess who didn't care suddenly showing up after an attack to check on him? That was...A lot of "nothing" to worry about.
Brandyn sighed gently. It wasn't intended to express exasperation, but he worried that it would convey as much. He sat there quietly for a moment, wishing he had something to lean his head against. His neck was getting sore. "I can't control whether others have affection towards me aside from not encouraging them, and I don't believe that I do. Whatever was before us. Is meaningless to me," he said quietly, "you have my heart. But. Well. You also have my desire."
She peeked out of her safe space with an expression that might have been hard to read. Cybelle didn't take or mean any offense but it wasn't something they had discussed at large. "I suppose...I just don't feel deserving of it. Any of it...But that doesn't mean I don't want it", she sat up slowly, noting his discomfort, while tugging on him to sit up.
He helped her up. Holding her in his arms. He searched her eyes trying to understand her innate self-deprecation. "Cybelle. Will you ever just trust my love?" He said, eyes actually showing signs of possible tears, "it is I who should question my worth in your eyes. But you would discount that faster than I could say it."
Brandyn felt himself torn to his core by her apprehension. Was it a scar from their mutual past? "Just accept it, alright? I love you. No one will change that," he said, with a huff of air.
Cybelle...Realized that she was making him upset and leaned forward to kiss his nose. It was a habit she was slowly developing when her words didn't come out right. Just—Kiss him instead. "That's not it...I do. I'm just..." still adjusting to the fact that out of all the lovely, shiny things, pretty perfect and pleasant people...He chose her. His father swore that he would forget her.
In some ways she was still waiting for that to happen. "I'm not afraid of things I should be. I'm afraid of things...That should be normal. I'm always afraid to lose you. To wind up...Back where we were."
He closed his eyes with her kiss. They stayed closed, and he slouched in the chair to rest his head on the back of the couch. He lifted his feet to rest them on the coffee table. His face was now pressed into her neck, where he offered a gentle kiss. "Miss Elyance. I fear that your fear may cause you to miss what is good now…and here," he said before trying to copy Valery Noble's accent, "fear is the path to the dark side…”
The accent was dropped. "...not even death itself could stop me loving you."
Her eyes glimmered at the age-old adage that he tossed out in the voice of Master Noble. It was absolutely terrible, though, her shoulders fell at the end...As if the word "death" had taken the wind out of her sails. She might have had some sort of response but it was swallowed up by a particular emptiness in the halls of her eyes. "Even death?"
Loving him was like..Breathing. She did it without realizing, without thinking, and without really knowing how to make it stop. Not that she wanted to...He was just part of her.
"Yeah," he said, a lump forming in his throat. It was not a subject he really wanted to dwell on.
Cybelle shook her head to get rid of the cobwebs and reached out to take his face in her hands. Carefully, angling his face so that she could see him. "I don't doubt you...I just don't see myself very well I suppose. I can't see what you see. But—I love you. It's always been you."
She gave him a soft kiss then...Sealing away apprehensions, insecurities, and talk of death.The way he reacted... It just wasn't necessary. It wasn't the time.
