05 Open: Y/N?[/size]

Personal Report 04[/size]

It is difficult to differentiate reality and the empyrean lately. I have spent so much time wandering the depths of the Force that merely existing in simple reality is growing tedious. I have seen little record of this in the writings of my progenitors, though I suspect it is dangerous nonetheless. With this in mind, I've elected to take a bit of a break from my meditations.[/size]

I have grown admittedly obsessed with the possible futures the Force offers to me. Many of them have seemed to be positive, and I must grudgingly recognize that I have been seeking some form of escapism in them. It seems the loss of Ession has effected me more than I had previously recognized.[/size]

My people have settled well within the New Republic, though I know they are not content. There is a resurgence of religious fervor within the surviving Essonian people, and it seems that fervor has taken something of a military edge. Part of me worries that their desire for revenge will drive us down a path better left untread, but I feel that as long as the Light guides us, we won't stray from the path. I have left the leadership of the people to my military advisers while I search for a solution to our problem - fortunately one may have shown itself.[/size]

My ancestors wrote of a world on the edge of the galaxy that they had sought out in ages long since past. It was something of a prophecy, though all the evidence I've seen to this world's existence has made it something worth seeking out. I have a hope that this world - a fortress world as it is described, and a holy one at that - might serve as my people's new home. Now I only need to find it.[/size]

There have been two particular bright spots in all this. The first is the discovery of an HK unit that calls itself Dak, a droid that's evidently served my family for several thousand years. He has issues with his memory, but I feel that in time learning about his past may uncover tools that could help us build a new future. I also have to admit that having someone watching my back at all times has been comforting. I've grown tired of working on my own.[/size]

The other has left me feeling confused. She's an imperial doctor that decided to save my life rather than deliver me to her superiors, and her name is Aes'ona. I've found that I enjoy her company more than most people, and I worry that perhaps I've opened myself up far too much to what should be an enemy. I tried to convince her to help me forge something of a peace between the First Order and the New Republic - something that would never truly happen. Honestly I think I was grasping at straws to drag her away from her imperial brethren, and for some reason she decided to entertain my absurdity. She'll be returning to the First Order soon, and I find myself rather unhappy about that.[/size]

I am at a crossroads. As a Jedi, I must recognize the attachment I have begun to form for the doctor and the danger it poses. My family has a history of volatile behavior when it comes to how we feel about other people, and given the darker thoughts that have invaded my mind since the loss of the homeworld, I worry about inviting such vulnerability into my life. [/size]

Most of all, I worry that if I don't take the opportunity to bring her with me now, I will never be presented with another one again. I worry that I might make a decision that I will regret for the rest of my life.[/size]

I can only have faith that the Force will guide me down the right path.[/size]