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[Kitter Bitters]

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[Kitter Bitters]

Decided to go a different way. Thank you

 

[The Mongrel]

Under Review Kitter Bitters

An interesting idea that it looks like there will be some support for! I'm sure the academy will be able to host some good stories. Just a few things before I go ahead and stamp this approved.

• Your image credit needs to be a link. Where did you find the concept art? Link it to that website, please.

• The formatting of the first section has gotten a little jacked up. Everything is a bulleted list, even the section headers. As a result, it's very hard to tell where Setting Information and Points of Interest start and end. I would recommend removing the section headers from the list, and saving the bullets for the parts within each section.

• The Description is very brief, and would benefit from being expanded. What ages are the students at the academy? Do people just show up and join when they find it, or are there recruiters out in the galaxy? What Force traditions are represented? What kind of classes are offered? How long does one stay at the academy before graduating? What kind of teachers and staff are there, and where do they come from? How do they deal with discipline, and conflicts that may arise among students of different traditions?

• Your Points of Interest are also very brief, and would benefit from being expanded. What would people visiting each point of interest see, hear, and smell? Writers will use this submission to guide their writing while roleplaying at the Academy, so any details you can give them as a jumping off point will be helpful! As a side note, the correct spelling is "Cafeteria".

• Historical Information could also use a little more information. Who founded the Academy in the past? How long ago? Why did it fall into ruin? Who rebuilt it now?

The first two bullets are the most important to fix. Let me know if you have any questions or need any support.

 

[Kitter Bitters]

The Mongrel thank you for the review! I will get started on these changes this week

 

[The Mongrel]

Kitter Bitters

Sounds good! Go ahead and tag me when you're done.

 

[Allyson Locke]

Kitter Bitters & The Mongrel

Moving this to pre-codex so that you can work on the changes, seeing that it requires a bit of work.

 

[Kitter Bitters]

Update: decided to abandon submission in favor of new avenues. Thank you