Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved NPC Wanica "The Nonexistent"

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION:

GENERAL INFORMATION:
  • Unit Name: "Nonexistent" in Paecian "WANICA" (wah-nee-chah). Thank you to Satara Hawk Satara Hawk for translation.
  • Affiliation: Coven is loyal to Matriarch Pom Stych Tivé in matters private and public.
  • Classification: One individual complete Nightsister Coven.
  • Description: Sacred 13th Party to come into existence on Dathomir, consisting of 13 Coven Members selected from across the land for their collective connection and individualized differing strengths. Nightsisters are stronger together, as opposed to the typical band of Force Users. Much like being connected through Battle Mind, they feed power amongst themselves, and into those who possess specialized skills in rare magick required to be successful in whatever plight they hope to accomplish. The notoriety of Nightsisters appearing on the battlefield alone is intended to cause any cool minded individual to sweat. Everything about them screams wild woman in the mix, and probably unlike anyone you have ever met before.

COMBAT INFORMATION:
Strengths:
  • Ability to function swiftly as a focussed unit.
  • Nightsister Magick.
Weaknesses:

Historically Nightsisters do not feel the necessity to bend to the development of the Galaxy around them. They feel superior. Therefore the following are things most do not typically care for:
  • Tech, Armor, Weaponry come into existence, and regarding much of it, many Nightsisters do not ever hear nor care to learn about it.
  • Many do not study hand to hand combat, because manicured nails.
  • Force Light…yucky repulsive Force Light.

HISTORICAL INFORMATION:
The Bone Temple composed solely of the skeletal remains of sentient beings on Dathomir, fashioned by the charmed vines to draw the bones to it, not many living would stomach visitation. What do they intend to visit for? Who do they go in remembrance of? Nightsisters' ancestors lie embalmed, wrapped and suspended high above the ground in pods, so they sleep during the ritual of the blood moon.

During the Witching Hour, while the Imperials performed their experimentation upon the mysterious Warlock’s Gate, the amazing magick they studied burst out of their usual boundary and reached through to the Bone Temple. The devout reanimated to take advantage of the phenomenon as it took place. This wonder is not just the Warlock’s Gate that makes the strange phenomenon occur like clockwork, nor their experiments of the Imperial Scientists, but the centuries of her ancestors living on Dathomir casting amazing spell after spell, focussing on sacred ritual after ritual, year after timeless year, for lifetime after lengthy lifetime, over this same hallowed ground...this is what makes this phenomenal Magick profound, stretching from the Warlock’s Gate through to the Bone Temple, Darkside energy linking the physical world to the Nether Realm.

During the Sith Experiments, the Witching Hour commenced, and the strange phenomenon stretching forth from the study of the Warlock’s Gate, awakened the souls of the departed. Twelve corpses to ancestral Nightsister Matriarchs, that fell under the reach of the Experiment rose out their slumber. In their want for life again, they made a deal with their descendant Pom Stych Tivé. Her ancestors offer protection and to share their power and knowledge of arcane arts, in exchange for a second chance at life through possession of the living Nightsister. They, plus herself, equal thirteen who would be formed into a single coven entity. Each exists as one living being, sharing knowledge and power. Each shall work off the other’s gifts. They will do anything to assure their continued existence.

Pom Stych Tivé had not been long inside the Bone Temple, and she seemingly came out without anyone with her. She had been tormented, and confused as to whether or not she had even met with anyone else while she had been inside. She exited a more bolder Nightsister, Matriarch to the Wanica. When she tears through the Netherrealm, appearing upon the battlefield and opens her mouth, twelve streams of thick black smoke pore forth from her mouth and land as twelve worthy Nightsisters to fight for the glory of true, pure, beautiful Darkness!
 
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ᴄʜɪᴇꜰ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴄᴀʟ ᴏꜰꜰɪᴄᴇʀ
Hello! I'll be doing the primary revision of your sub. I am a judge in training, so this will require secondary approval.

Congrats on your first sub! I think this is a very nice idea you have here. There are a couple of things I would like for us to go over before I pass it on for secondary judgement. Let's begin!

1. Affiliation
  • Very tiny thing here. I suggest not using the abbreviation "FL" (which i believe means Faction Leader) here. As a new writer to the board myself, it took me a moment to catch what this meant so I believe others could have the same difficulty too.
2. Unit Experience
  • Another small thing. After "Elite", part of the NPC form's guide text remains (highlighted in lilac):
    Unit Experience: Elite. Veteran and Elite are more appropriate to smaller, less common units with lower casualty rates than the rank and file, while Trained and lower are appropriate for larger, more common units with higher replacement needs. You are encouraged to update the units, as they grow through RP in experience, through the submission modification thread.
    This should be erased.
3. Equipment
  • I'll need you to provide a bit more detail here. The intellectual assets are great, they are a nice addition to the field. However, as for the rest: totems, relics, artifacts, canon nightsister weaponry...While its very easy to grasp the type of assets and armament you are going for, these terms are too generic and could mean almost anything. As per the template:
    If your unit possesses any specialty equipment (weapons, armor, combat tools, star fighters, landing ships, etc.) list them and provide links here.
    I recommend focusing on the equipment that truly characterizes them. If there are any relevant enough artifacts, relics or weapons (nightsister or otherwise), please link them to their corresponding wookieepedia article or codex sub.
4. Combat Function
  • As the template requests:
    Combat Function: [ Describe this unit’s general function in combat. Put things like tactics, habits, goals, how they interact with other parts of a larger army, do they need support or are they the support, etc. ]
    I'd like you to expand a bit more on this. How do they provide support? Do they limit themselves to aiding from the sidelines or could they be encountered on the front line, fighting alongside their allies?
  • Also, please link The Sith Empire to its faction page.
5. Strengths
  • What you have here is perfectly okay, so this is just a suggestion. Maybe you could expand on their strengths a bit more. While being a swift, focused unit and proficient Magick users are two very nice strengths, I believe you could either describe them a bit more or add on any specific spells or powers the Wanica might be particularly well known for. Like I said, only if you'd like to.
6. Historical Information
  • As per the template, the information here should cover some of the following (highlighted in lilac):
    HISTORICAL INFORMATION
    [ Include a description of the unit’s history here. How they were formed and by whom, past noteworthy battles, moral affecting defeats, where they are stationed if applicable, etc. ]
    Right now the past of this unit is not really explained in this section, so I'd like you to flesh it out a bit more. How did the coven form originally? How did Pom come to lead them?

This is all I have for now. Please tag me when you've made edits or if you need any help!

Pom Stych Tivé Pom Stych Tivé
 
ᴄʜɪᴇꜰ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴄᴀʟ ᴏꜰꜰɪᴄᴇʀ
This is looking nice! Good work on the history.

Now, we still have the same issue with the Equipment. You don't need to put every asset or weapon they might use here, bur rather the more relevant ones and these should all be appropriately linked. The totems, the ring of invisibility, the relics of the dead and the spell amulets; all these should be linked to a source whether this be a wookieepedia article or a codex sub as per the recent rule update:

8. The Codex and Factory are optional for your participation on this board. However, if you wish to codify non-canon content you must use the Codex or Factory to submit it for approval. Blogs and faction discussions are not to be used for this purpose.

These are all very cool ideas but if they are not canon or already submitted to the factory or codex, they should not be featured in this section. I've done some research in wookieepedia and found some interesting, canon items and weapons from Dathomirian culture; these are the sort of things that you could link in this section (feel free to include these if you like them, of course):


If you'd like to explore some more, this is the wookieepedia category where I found these items.
Pom Stych Tivé Pom Stych Tivé
 
Edited. Fevris Derzelas Fevris Derzelas Thank you so much for your assistance!

Still wondering about Force Powers and codex. The last I knew these were too tedious to be logged. Does this still stand today?

Nightsister Magick is a strange but creative utilization of many of the same canon Force Powers. Some of their personal arsenal, I imagine mimic physics, for example a simple potion can result the same as a flash detonator. Regardless of some Nightsister skills possibly seeming to be non-canon content, I have included a link above to my character's posted Grimoire listed in my Minor Faction. If this still is against the rules due to creative content, let me know, and I will delete that specific link.
 
ᴄʜɪᴇꜰ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴄᴀʟ ᴏꜰꜰɪᴄᴇʀ
No need to thank! I'm happy to help.

As for your question, the rule still stands:
Force Powers may not be submitted to the Codex.

That said, the other reason why you cannot link Pom's Grimoire is because anyone who is not a member of the minor faction (like myself, for example) won't be able to access it. Please feel free to ask any other questions you might have, otherwise after this last edit I think I'll be ready to pass it on for secondary review.

Pom Stych Tivé Pom Stych Tivé
 
ᴄʜɪᴇꜰ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴄᴀʟ ᴏꜰꜰɪᴄᴇʀ
I'm afraid I'll still need you to remove the link though.

A Grimoire can be subbed to the codex under the lore section so long as it doesn't break the Codex Rules (namely, no subbing newly invented force powers), so as it is it cannot be linked to the character's bio either. As a suggestion, maybe you could make reference to a grimoire and link Dathomir Magic instead, which is still a very comprehensive term. You can always have this pulled out to make edits through a Submission Modification Request and add on it once its approved.

In case you are ever interested in subbing Pom's grimoire in the future, here's a link to an approved grimoire codex sub: The Book of the Briar.

Pom Stych Tivé Pom Stych Tivé
 
Fevris Derzelas Fevris Derzelas | Pom Stych Tivé Pom Stych Tivé

This is looking good guys, good job so far. There are just a few little things that I'd like clarification on before I pass this through to approval.

1) Role

Following Sisterhood First Dogma, Loyalty is to their Mistress Pom Stych Tivé. Coven serves without question, in matters she deems worthy.

This doesn't actually tell us what the role you envision for unit to be. While understanding their loyalty is important, this is something that should be covered in the affiliation or description categories. The template for the role field is as follows:

Role: [ Is this unit serving as protective detail to your character? Is it a portion of the rank and file of your faction? Is it a strike team for your company? Explain the IC role this unit will fulfill. ]

What role do you see this unit as having?

2) Combat Function

Combat Function: Provide front line military support to The Sith Empire. The Coven is not going to be known by most Sith. They will not be involved in any battle they are not called upon directly to participate in by the Emperor himself.

'Front line military support' can mean a lot of things. According to the wiki article, 'the term combat support refers to units that provide fire support and operational assistance to combat elements. Combat support units provide specialized support functions to combat units in the areas of chemical warfare, engineering, intelligence, security, and communications.' As you can see this is a very large field to be covered by a single coven of nightsisters. What type of support, in particular, do you see them providing?
 
Collector Collector Thank you. Ready to go!

LIST OF CHANGES:

Out of Character Information:
ROLE
is altered, tapered towards my character's personal story and to provide protection.
Added to LINKS

General Information:
AFFILIATION
is changed, dropping faction obligation altogether.
DESCRIPTION strike affiliation to any Sith Emperor.

Combat Information:
COMBAT FUNCTION
is changed as this character stirs chaos, omitting originally planned structured military involvement.

Historical Information:
Added link to the Bone Temple Location
Background story edited to reflect the history as it naturally evolved in RPs.
 
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