Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved Planet Vylmira

Status
Not open for further replies.

Ylla Caeli'runa

Guest
Y
Kyyrk Kyyrk I will wholeheartedly admit that I've read this a few times as it's been revised and added upon and I love where it's ended up so far! That being said, there are some changes that I'd like to see before passing this up for secondary:

Image Credit | The link to the Head Banner image doesn't lead to an image and it's unavailable. Is there an alternate source that you can use for that specific image?​
Links | Please update the link to the CIS faction page to the updated version that coordinates with the site move. In addition to this, please add a link for the Luka Sene for readers that are unaware of what they are.​
Major Imports | Various Metals could be taken as anything and everything that someone can find, it's too broad. Please list specific metals that can be found on Vlymira. Per the template requirement for this field, "Common materials and ores should just be listed (Ex. Durasteel ore), while anything special or rare should be linked".​
Force Nexus | This section is missing a few fields. Namely, Nexus Name, Nexus Alignment, Size, and Accessibility. Would you mind filling in this information using the info in the quote below?​
Intent: [ Provide the reasoning and motive for this force nexus. A request for a force nexus may be denied on this premise alone.Nexus Name: [ Name of the nexus if applicable. ]​
Nexus Alignment: [ Light, Dark, Neutral, Other (explain). ]​
Size: [ Small (A small location on a world much like a grove or oasis. Ex. Dark Grove), Medium (A moderately sized area, large compounds, lake, etc Ex. Great Temple), Large (A location that spans a large area, a valley, mountain ranges, etc. Ex. Valley of the Jedi). Planetary (Influences everything on the planet. Ex. Byss). ]​
Strength: [ How strong is the Nexus? How much influence does it exert on those near it? Weaker nexus are easier to overlook, while stronger ones are impossible to miss. Stronger Nexus will be more closely scrutinized for balance and fairness during judging. Choose one: Weak (A weak influence on the area and the people on it. A fragile nexus that can potentially be altered by people or events, i.e. a lightside nexus could be corrupted by atrocity or a dark side nexus cleansed by the actions of a mass of Jedi.), Moderate (A moderate influence on the area and the people on it. Could be altered with a great enough event.), Strong (A strong influence on the area and the people on it. Powerful enough to be renewed in the event of a great cataclysm, and unlikely to be altered.) ]​
Accessibility: [ For Small, Medium, or Large Nexus only. Describe logistical information on how easy it is to find/access this location. Is it hidden? Is it isolated from society or is it in the middle of civilization? Is it guarded? Open to the public or private access only? Keep in mind that the Strength of the Nexus above must be reflected in this field. ]​
Effects: [ What sort of effects does this Nexus confer? An aura of fear? Reinvigorating those on the world? Perhaps it induced tricks of the mind, to test the visitors. These effects can be positive, neutral, or negative, and should reflect the nature and history of the Nexus. ][/LIST]​

All of that being said, if you have any questions/concerns or just want to give me a heads up that edits are done, feel free to give me a tag anytime!
 

Ylla Caeli'runa

Guest
Y
Kyyrk Kyyrk Thank you for those edits, however, there are two things still missing:

Image Credit | I noticed that the link to the Head Banner image was still the same. Within the URL that you had, there was an Artstation link that lead to the image source. Would you mind adding this source instead of the broken Facebook link?​
Links | Please add a link for the Luka Sene for readers that are unaware of what they are and what they do, as they play a large role in Vlymira.​

As always, feel free to give me a tag when edits are complete and I'll have another look over this!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom