Approved NPC Toka Spaga

[Darth Vyrassu]

Source: https://m.vk.com/sith_emperor

Name: Toka Spaga


Loyalties: Darth Vyrassu & Order of the Jen'ari

Role: Toka Spaga was a citizen of Dromund Vatsu's Vatsu City, Vyrassu sensed his presence through the force and took him to the Sith Academy to train to be a Sith with the goal that Vyrassu will take him on as an apprentice once he graduated the Sith Academy.

Development Threads: N/A

Age: 18

Species: Human

Force Sensitivity: Acolyte

Appearance: Toka Spaga wore the Traditional Sith black Robes of the Jen'ari with black durasteel shoulder players with his hood up at all times. His skin was pale with red eyes.

Personality: Toka Spaga was had no sense of humor, took everything very seriously and with a grain of salt. He lacked patience but it is something he is coming to learn within the Sith Academy. He was usually seen as a quiet one, spoke only when spoken to and when he spoke he was polite unless in the face of an enemy. His voice however was always just above a whisper.

Weapon of Choice: Lightsaber & the force.

Wealth: has a low amount of money from a day job working at a store in Vatsu City until joining the Sith Academy

Combat Function: Toka Spaga was learning lightsaber combat faster than most students due to him taking marital art sword classes as a child. He is very acrobatic and quick making it difficult for enemies to focus an attack on him. His slender and agile body allowed him to move with a swift quickness and acrobatic grace. His force powers do not exceed basic knowledge of push/pull and weak telekinesis.
(He will further develop his powers through roleplay)

Skills: Toka was gifted in sword combat due to lessons as a child.

Notable Possessions:
Red lightsaber

Other Notes:
Toka Spaga grew up in a broken home. His father abused his mother beating her. When he was only 11 he killed his father with the force not meaning to. Instead of turning her son into the authorities she abandon him at an orphanage. Once he reached the age of 18 he could no longer stay at the orphanage. He lived on the streets saving up for a home of his own from a job he had obtained. Toka won a contest his work held for a tour of the Sith Imperial Citadel. While touring the Citadel Vyrassu felt Toka's presence in the force and came out of his throne room to meet the boy. Vyrassu offered toka the chance to train to be a Sith in the Jen'ari. Toka gladly accepted and moved to the Academy after resigning from his job where he began his training to be a Sith.

Intent: A permanent Apprentice to Darth Vyrassu and aid him in combat situations

 

[Coryth Elaris]

Under Review

 

[Coryth Elaris]

shoulder players

I'm going to assume that's a typo.

His slender and assume bodily allowed him to move with a swift quickness and acrobatics.

Typos here and the sentence would probably be best if you rephrase it a little. 'move with a swift quickness and acrobatic grace' works a bit better than what you have.

Other than really those typos and that one sentence it looks fine. Oh, and under development threads if you could remove the template text and instead leave it blank, or put N/A or none there instead. That would be great.

[member="Darth Vyrassu"]

 

[Darth Vyrassu]

[Member=coryth elaris]

Edited

 

[Coryth Elaris]

agile bodily

I think body is what you mean here.

As for shoulder pad blades, I'm not sure what exactly those are. Could you try and give me an idea of what those are, or maybe an image of what you are thinking of? Just so I can make sure we are on the same page there.

[member="Darth Vyrassu"]

 

[Darth Vyrassu]

[Member=Coryth Elaris]

Edited, sorry I meant pauldron but I could not remember their names for the life of me, look at the characters picture that are on his shoulders

 

[Coryth Elaris]

No worries, I had wondered if that was what you meant. I couldn't remember the name myself until another judge mentioned it.

Toka Spaga was had no sense of humor,

Need to remove was here.

Development Threads: [Please link to threads where this character has played a role. Not mandatory, but helpful, especially when powerful or skilled NPCs are involved. Master level NPCs will require at least one development thread, the length dependent on their powers and skills.]

If you can remove the template stuff from here. Just put N/A or None in its place, please.

Last thing I really need, for your combat function, I assume he will always be by your side. So I need you to add that he is there to aid his master in a fight under combat function in addition to what you have there.

Also I overlooked that you don't have a history for him. So if you could please add a brief history for him under other notes, I think we'll be able to wrap things up once that is done.

[member="Darth Vyrassu"]

 

[Darth Vyrassu]

[Member=Coryth Elaris]

Edited

 

[Lucien Cordel]

Hi [member="Darth Vyrassu"]

Krissy is unwell so she asked me to cover for her. We are almost done just a few last bits for clarity/appearance then you'll be good to go.

serious with a grain of salt

I think this should read "Seriously and with a grain of salt"

His slender and agile body allowed him to move with a swift quickness and acrobatic grace.

could you move that to combat function, it's not really a personality trait .

was gifted in lightsaber combat from marital art sword classes as a child.

Martial arts sword classes would not grant a gift with a lightsaber, lightsabers are hard to use because they are unbalanced and function nothing like any other weapons. You can say he is / was taking quicker to the saber due to his experience with the dedication needed to learn ,but he would not be gifted because of sword classes.

after writing his job

"To his job" "To resign"

begun

should be began

Thanks,

Callum

 

[Darth Vyrassu]

[Member=Lucien Cordel]

Edited

 

[Lucien Cordel]

Approved pending secondary



[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Approved, but note as always that an NPC will never better a PC.