To Blindly Follow, To Walk The Thorny Path

[Kaden Farr]

Gray left them to talk... pushed them to it. This needed to happen. The future was uncertain, and the two had been holding onto this, this... nightmare, for so long without actually talking about it. Yasha had been right. They had seven years, and for seven years Kaden had not said a word. He could have spoken sooner, but how could he. Kaden could see it. Yasha's heart broke knowing Kaden had seen it, had watched.

"I don't expect you to find comfort in the fact that I saw what happened. Sinner's Rue made sure neither of us got that. I saw it all before you told me to close my eyes... the pounding... the crack... that was all me. It let me see what HE was doing to you... all of it. I BROKE THROUGH... I broke though to save you... to rescue you. Where did you think that pounding came from... the crack. I broke hell to save you."

That was the power of their feelings, their bond, and yes love. It was the right word and the wrong word all at the same time. There was a strength to them that could not be put into any form of language. Kaden did not have to wait to wrap his arms around Yasha's waist, not when her admission disarmed him. She had gone through the list of those who had been there, but not. There were those who should have been with her in this room, others that had given her conditions, and one who pretended because of what he could gain. Kaden was there for one purpose... Kaden was there for Yasha.

"You did not harden these eyes, nor did you harden my heart. I did that, I did that to protect myself Yasha. Don't you dare blame yourself for the choices I made. You do not get to carry my choices along with yours..."

Love... he couldn't bring himself to say the word unless he said it in a way Yasha had difficulty saying. It was the unpronounceable thing.

"Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum..."

The phrase meant more than I love you. It spoke of a never ending, undying, unyielding, eternal love. Kaden would always feel this way, and nothing Yasha would ever say or do could change that. He was hers, she was his. They knew this. It was why Kaden continued to ask himself why could not get himself to say the words... the riduurok. Their bond was stronger than that vow. It should have been so simple, but it was not. Kaden knew it was not.

He did not want to admit it, but Kaden had not let go of the nightmare... not yet.

"That baby... Yasha... I think it..." Kaden didn't want to say, but it had followed them around the Netherworld where none of the other Nightmares had. It couldn't have been what either of them though it was. He didn't know what to say, so he continued to hold Yasha, and since Gray could not see, he did what he should have done when she spoke of her love.

Kaden kissed her, deeply.

[member="Yasha Mantis"] [member="Gray Raxis"]

 

[Gray Raxis]

The two had begun to talk things over together and were clearing the air between them. This got a satisfied smile out of Gray as he turned and headed in the opposite direction of their voices. Perhaps this would be good enough for Baiko to call his word to her fulfilled. It was not the end as far as he was concerned, but then again it never would be. The Resol'nare and Manda demanded everything from him to see to it that the next generation had things better. He was willing to make that sacrifice for them as well. He just walked back to his chair and sat back down. That water never had been brought out to him. Perhaps they didn't think he would be around for this long? That made sense given the current state of Mandalore. Few were filling to weather the storm at home and went to fairer pastures elsewhere. Not him. It was folly and he was a fool, but he couldn't abandon Mandalore or her children anymore now than he could before.

It was in this quiet moment as [member="Kaden Mantis"] and [member="Yasha Mantis"] were expressing their feelings to each other in the complete privacy that only Gray's blindness could give them that he began to focus his attention onto that disturbing feeling from earlier. The whispers, the hatred, the.... He had to shake his head. A word for it couldn't even come to mind. What was going on here? There was something far more happening than just negativity clinging to them. In particular it seemed to follow Yasha. Dathomir had something to do with it. He could sense it. Then the whispers. Those awful whispers. And the hatred. It wished to consume Gray. It couldn't seem to claim her so it would settle for him. He had dealt with this kind of thing before though. It was what he had been dealing with. His own darkness was stronger than it and he had overcome it. But it was only stronger for him as it was his. Whatever this was it was her's and could never effect him as strongly. But what was it?

Then words being spoken by the two reached Gray's ears. A child? Yasha spoke of a child from the Netherworld horrors and then something about a man.... It began to fall into place. The Netherworld. Dathomir. The Warlock Gate. The whispers. What it was made sense now, but he still needed to figure out why. The two were force dead so the effects of the other side should not be lingering like this. No, not the two of them. At least that was not the sense he had gotten. It seemed to be about Yasha but not Kaden so something was different about her. But what? He stood up slowly and faced the direction the little bits of sounds were coming from. He hated to do this but he needed some answers. " Do either of you hear some whispers? Maybe something along the lines of 'mommy?'"

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“Comfort! Shame, maybe. That thud was you…” Yasha’s eyes shut and her face fell. She turned around in Kaden’s arms and hugged herself. “You… you wrecked Sinner’s Rue… it’s supposed to be an individual hell, Kade’ika… but… you broke the Netherworld to bits for... for me?”

Hand pressing against her mouth, Yasha stopped a stutter by pressing her forehead into Kaden’s shoulder. “I was so weak… what you must think of me.”

Her lips pulled away from Kaden’s kiss, yet her fingers remained stroking along his jaw. Why had it taken the inseparable duo four extra years to wed in the Mandalorian fashion? The Riduurok was a promise of family, of furthering future generations and in that… well, neither were ready. Yasha could not fathom facing such a process, and Kaden could not fathom raising a child not his own. She deflated, turning to [member="Gray Raxis"] with a hard exhale.

“No... no, not here. Not here, too.” Yasha stumbles backward, and sat firmly on the throne. She covered her face with her hands, voice garbled by skin and bone.

“He’s my son, Gray. He... he was born in Sinner’s Rue... A baby boy part of my nightmare and torment in the Rue. He followed us out and kept calling, every day, every night, just… calling… but every time I’d even think about going to get him, it was a trap. His.. HE would be there, trying to lure me in… tell me you can’t hear him… Manda, tell me it’s not real.” More shame, more opportunity to feel the horror of her sins compiled in one little humanoid form. Peering up at Kaden through her fingers, her black painted lips wobbled.

“I’m sorry, Kaden. I’m sorry he wasn’t yours.”

 

[Kaden Farr]

Kaden sighed. The shame of it all was a thing he did not want Yasha to bear. It wasn’t real, but it was. Sinner’s Rue was a psychological help they had not been able to escape. Yes, had they died in the Rue they would have not returned. Had they died anywhere they would not have returned, but the Rue...

”Shame!? Weak!? Yasha listen to your own words... never. My Yasha has lived thirteen years of her life in a place most do not survive. You’ve defeated it, twice. How can you be weak? How can you feel shame when what happened in the Rue... it wasn’t real.”

Kaden had never uttered those words to Yasha, but he did now. It was clear he beskar liked heart had kept him from saying what he needed to long ago. She needed him to say it wasn’t real. The child hadn’t followed them through the Rue. It wasn’t there. The child had stayed with Aditya. A child which Kaden had been forced to interact with, a son that was not his, but out of love for his mother...

He was loathe to let her turn to Gray. Her hand on his jaw felt like a Heaven he could remain in for all eternity. Gray heard the boy...

Gray heard the boy...

This could not be possible not unless... Kaden shook his head. He couldn’t be real. He should have never left the Rue. Had Kaden caused this by breaking through to Yasha. It wasn’t supposed to happen, and rifts in Sinner’s Rue didn’t heal. Whatever Kaden broke, it was going to stay that way.

Yasha explained. This couldn’t just be a son. The child hadn’t come with them through the gate.

”Are you sure Gray... I cannot hear... Yasha cannot...”

It dawned on Kaden there was only one difference between them and Gray. Gray could use the force. It was an observation he was going to put to voice when Yasha said something he was never sure he’d ever hear.

He stopped all thought. His eyes drew Yasha’s in.

”I know,” he said after a long silence which Gray was not going to break. He led them to a place of healing, anplace where Kaden could admit another truth. ”I have desperately wished for so long that he could have been mine...”

Kaden took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

”I would have... I...” How was he supposed to admit to Yasha they had not made a riduurok because he couldn’t get over the child. Kaden didn’t want to make her relive that, but he wanted her to Mother his children.

He reached for her. Kaden wrapped Yasha in his arms like he had the first time the child called for her. His hand pressed her head to his shoulder.

”Yasha do you know the riduurok? Do you know what it says? We will raise Warriors is how it ends... I’ve been trying to reconcile with that last line from the moment I was eighteen.”

Kaden looked at her. Gray knew what the words meant...

”Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde. We are one when together, we are one when parted, we share all, we will raise warriors. They are simple vows with a deep meaning, but no where as deep as what we already have, but I want every part of it...”

[member="Yasha Mantis"] [member="Gray Raxis"]

 

[Gray Raxis]

Gray got his answer. Both of them reacted to his question in a real way. Yasha broke down again and Kaden was struggling to comfort her. He just waited and listened to them. It was related to the Netherworld and their time in it. Both had seen it then and now it was calling out to [member="Yasha Mantis"] and she seemed to be able to feel it if in the most subtle of ways. What settled the matter for Gray however was [member="Kaden Mantis"] reaction to it and his own words. He was not aware of it since they returned to this plane. The young man was aware of something weighing down Yasha, but both were convinced it was just the trauma of their experience. There was more to it than that. Gray could feel it. He could feel the call of the Manda once more as well demanding action from him here. He would answer.

Once the pair had gotten to a quiet place after all their words, Gray said in a tone leaving no room for doubt in his words, " The child isn't real." With that he began to slowly approach where he hoped they were at. He was blindly moving forward. It was his way. It was what was demanded of him. He said yet again in the same tone, " The child isn't real, but this thing is no illusion either. It is the dark side. It has lacked onto a piece of you Yasha that you lack now and Kaden has always lacked. It has lacked onto your sensitivity to the force." He stopped once he finished speaking. He didn't know how close he was to them. All he knew was something inside told him to stop here. He followed it. It was impossible to know how either of them would react to what he said.

With a deep breath taken in and out slowly, Gray continued on. " The dark side is dangerous, but not for the reasons most think of. It is dangerous for this very reason right here. It seeks out your strength and cracks it. It finds what you want most, what you most fear, or what you pride yourself in the most. It finds it then it twists it. It perverts it until you no longer see it as a strength but a weakness. It keeps at this until you feel desperate and powerless. Then at your lowest, it offers you what you feel you lack. It whispers offerings of power and security if you submit to it. And once you do, it consumes you. It twists who you are until even your outward form is effected. Blue eyes become yellow. Your skin wrinkles up. Black veins all over your body. Any sign of a Sith that you can imagine is sign of this submission to the lies the dark side has whispered to you. This child calling out to you Yasha is one of those lies. Ask yourself what it is you want most, but I think all of us already know the answer to that. This child is nothing more than the parasite that is the dark side preying on what should be a fully honorable desire." He had to stop here. He had already said so much to them. It was all true and something only those experienced to some degree with the force would know about. Everyone thought that the dark side was about power and ambition, but that was wrong. The dark side was about submission to selfishness and the worst kinds of emotions when in its purest form.

But they had no reason to believe him on this. Not without some proof that Gray knew what he was talking about. No that was not it. They probably would believe him he imagined by this point, but they deserved to know it could be overcome. So after too long a pause, Gray said in a somewhat somber tone, " I know all of this because I have experienced it myself. Once long ago before I was even aware of my sensitivity, I went through something like this on Dagobah. I entered a cave and the dark side invaded my being. It showed me what I feared most. It showed me bloodied with red eyes standing over.... Standing over dead children. And I was smiling. This image spoke to me and tried to convince me that this was inevitable. It tried to tell me that I was already like that because I had killed before and because I had already lost myself once before. Then when I began to reject that idea even though I still had doubts in myself about it, the image changed again. I saw a burning home that was clearly just a battlefield. Two images stood before me then looking towards the home. It was my family. From their words it was clear I had betrayed them and they put an end to me. They cursed my name and the sense of betrayal kept any satisfaction in the action from them. The dark side presented me with my fears as it tried to break me. It tried to twist me and my sense of self. It is trying to do this to you Yasha through that connection to the force you must have had. Maybe the Netherworld was filling the hole left when you lost it or perhaps you left it in the Netherworld and it is being preyed upon. I don't know. I just know that it wants to twist and pervert you so that you submit to it's influence. It wants to destroy who you are using your own hands. You shouldn't let it and you can prevent it."

Gray reached up to the scarf around his eyes. Pulling at the Mandalorian fabric, his hands shook a bit. As the scarf fell around his neck, his eyes were finally revealed to the pair of them. It was only the second time he had shown another this sight. Burns from extreme heat and electricity surrounded milky spheres. Scars from scratches and cuts mixed in a chaotic away all around his sightless eyes as well. In a voice like the one from before but more sunken, Gray said, " You might have to sacrifice something, but never lose your sense of self. It is the most important thing you have. And it is why you can never trust the Sith. They embody and practice what the dark side is in it's entirety. What Kaine did to Isley is proof of this."

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“It wasn’t real, but it still scarred my skin.” Kaden knew of the scars Yasha spoke of. Her palms, the soles of her feet… a line of scar tissue on her stomach.

The oddity of the Netherworld was lost on neither of the three living beings in the room. Yet, what became even more expressly clear was the ability for [member="Gray Raxis"] to see it, feel it, and speak pertinently of the Dark.

Kaden did what he’d always done each night for the past seven years. He covered Yasha’s ears with his hands. She pressed her hand to his, seeking upward into his eyes. Her Kaden. Her shield against the horrors and the dark.

“You… you have?” Kaden’s silence filled her with the idea that he required nothing more from her. Their kiss was a promise to fulfill, but Yasha still did not understand that he wanted her as the mother of his future children. But Kaden?

Baiko taught her of the Mandalorians and their marriage vows, of the Resol’nare from an Echani perspective, flawed and unclean. Yasha was to be in the Mando’ade, but not of it, she was to keep herself separated from the entirety of Mandalorian law to create positions for alliances. Yet it never settled well on Yasha’s skin. “You want to, what, Kaden? What do you want, Kaden? Say it.” Yasha stared in his eyes, needing to see the desperation and passion which lied in there, in this, this safe space.

Gray’s next words broke any chance Yasha had of concentrating on Kaden’s near-proposal. She looked up at his face as he brought himself to the Throne, feet nearly stepping to the dais upon which Yasha sat.

“The Dark Side, but… I have no sensitivity to the Force. I'm dead to it.” Yasha rubbed her eyes and frowned, as Gray’s words broke upon her as a dawning sensation flickered into her belly. Was this what Ember noted in the Field of Blades? Was this what Zambrano looked for with hungry jaws? “Daddy would have snapped my neck and pitched me into the Netherworld himself if it came out his little girl was a forcie.”

The hatred was so strong in Preliat and Aditya toward the Force, that it broke their daughter. Bound her to half-lives and scant living… yet how vicious a life it was. Gray continued to speak and it reminded Yasha of wisdom. He spoke a dangerous tale, his own personal history. At the outset, Gray’s eyes were milky, burned. He could not see the wince on Yasha’s face as she stepped off the dais and, taking off her crushgaunts, touched her fingers on Gray’s face. “The Sith did this to you… the Dark Side… but Gray, I have no powers. I have nothing, I am just a… survivor of Hell… if I asked myself what I want most, it is the throne behind me.”

The throne was a weight in obsidian around Yasha’s neck and ankles. A terrible responsibility built around the idea that if she did not take it, the one who wore the title of Mand’alor next would destroy them all. No. The throne was not a desire, but a duty.

“That was a lie. I don’t want the throne most… I don’t know what I want most.” Feeling Kaden’s proximity, Yasha knew part of her desires were for the eventual joys and stresses of Motherhood. “Truth is, I haven’t stopped to think about what I want in anything. I’ve been consumed by what others wanted of me, by duty and responsibility. I don’t know what I want. Kids, a family, a battle cruiser, a life with my hands in the soil… I grew flowers once, on Quez’ farm… I think it was the happiest I’d been, to see those buds open up the first time… I thought my mother was coming for me, I’d watch the horizon every day knowing Mama or Daddy would be there, ready to pick me up and carry me home… but they never came.”

Taking her fingers off Gray’s scars, Yasha hugged herself and shrugged. “I’ve never stopped to think about what I wanted. I’ve always done what I was told, or survived. If my sense of self is my most important thing, we have a problem. I know Kaden’s in it… I know Mandalore is in it. I could run to Panatha, take up my mother’s place in the temple to Nussyn… maybe all I want is a garden and a couple of kids… but I think about wanting kids and all I can see is Sinner’s Rue, and it makes me sick to my stomach and I want to be sick and… if the boy isn’t real, then I have nothing to fear of letting his cries fall on deaf ears.”

 

[Kaden Farr]

Kaden was afraid to say it, but he had come this far. He knew it might be a surprise to Yasha, and it might not. For years he’d never mentioned the idea of the child being his because of the nature of how the child came to follow them. There was part of Kaden that despised the child because of it, and he wished that he didn’t. It wasn’t fair to Yasha, but the memories of what he witnessed in the Rue made him fear what Yasha would think if he said he wanted children with her. It wasn’t because of the resol’nare either.

”I want to marry you, Yasha. I want you as my riduur. When I think about having children you are the woman beside me.”

Gray had said the child was not real, but that didn’t change the fact both Yasha had Kaden had wished for the child to be real for different reasons. Yasha had wanted Kaden to say it, and now he had. He looked deep into her amber colored eyes.

”When I explained the riduurok, I also said it Yasha. I want every part of what that means with you. You don’t have to return it, I want you to, but I want you to want that also.... and when you want to... when you’re ready.... I would have you, us, one.”

Kaden knew no one had ever asked Yasha what she really wanted, it had never come up. Aditya has told her what to do. Baiko told her what to do. Preliat, Malika, and Ra, had all told her what to do. There were times Kaden even told her what she needed to do, but only when she asked. This was the first time Yasha spoke of what she wanted, and it was... simple. Kaden liked simple. If she were Mand’alor he would be her Warmaster one day. He would always be beside her.

He listened to her, he listened to Gray. The force was a thing Kaden had never known, but from what Gray said... would Yasha have been force sensitive? Kaden was a smart young man, and he had learned to read between the lines. It was when the conversation turned to that of the Dark Side, that Kaden shivered.

”Yasha, I will be with you no matter what you decide you want. If you want to lead I will be there. If you want simple I will be there. This dark side stuff though, it scares me. The force I don’t understand it. This child that isn’t real but is... the Dark Side... is that why we can’t hear the child now? Because we are force dead?”

[member="Yasha Mantis"] [member="Gray Raxis"]

 

[Gray Raxis]

The two had plenty to say in response to Gray. It was a mixed bag. On one hand they were focusing on what he said before and another on issue he had interrupted. It made things more chaotic for them or at least that was how it appeared to Gray. He was getting in the way right now. They needed room to sort things out between them before they could move on to something else. If he was here for them then it was his duty to let them have that space. With a light sigh and reaching up to the back of his head with his right hand instinctively, he resolved himself to figuring out what to do next. He couldn't exactly wonder around the palace after all. That might cause more of a stir than anyone wanted right now. No, he just needed to get out for a bit.

" It will take time to sort all of that out for the both of you. You don't have to know what you want right now. You don't have to have found some sense of acceptance about what happened in the Netherworld. You don't have to do anything right now other than be together. Be with each other now and sort out the rest later." Gray said to them as he let his hand drop back to his side. He really was in the way right now. " But just know that if you run to Panatha you are turning your back on the Resol'nare and on Mandalore. You will no longer be Mandalorian but Panathan. Just like Kaine. And before you ever try to sit on that throne up there, make sure you know exactly what you want. You can't follow others if you are taking the mantle of leadership. All you can follow is the will of the Manda...or your selfish desires. Now talk. Be together and when you are done let me know. I will be around. Somewhere."

With that said Gray turned back towards the table. He got his helmet and his gauntlets. As he headed for the door he came in from, he put them back on. He wasn't going to leave the palace grounds. There would be no point in that right now. He just needed to give them space to be together and ponder over things on his own. His only issue was where exactly he could go to do that. This would have been a lot simpler if he had just come with Baiko instead of rushing off like a fool.

[member="Kaden Mantis"] [member="Yasha Mantis"]

 

[Baiko no Kaho]

[member="Gray Raxis"] did not have more than a step to go before a pair of shuffling feet rushed him. "You have the fastest ship I've witnessed in years, Gray Raxis!"

She stomped her foot and exhaled sharply, panting to catch her breath. "Where are they? Did it work? Ambrose is off growling in the corner, this either turned out well or... you're not dead... oh thank the goddess it worked."

Deflating, Baiko took Gray's hand and pulled. "Come, I shall make a spot of tea and you can tell me everything... please come with me."

One did not say 'no' to an Atrisian educated Echani when they offered one tea.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“You would be the one to carry my fear, wouldn’t you? I can’t hear it, but… somehow I know it’s there.” Yasha shrugged and looked to the marble walls of the throne room. Kaden had the right to be scared. So did Yasha. Gray made an uncanny amount of sense, which also intertwined with what Ember said. Was Yasha going to have to find an Ithorian Priest?

In the absence of [member="Gray Raxis"], Yasha felt the size of the throne room waft around them. There was no more Netherworld hemming them in. No more family members rushing to defend the ‘boy’ from the anger of [member="Preliat Mantis"] at the gaul of any male touching his little girl.

Preliat didn’t care.

As far as Yasha knew, he’d never care again.

“You want to marry me.” The trouble with Atrisian nannies was the discussions on marriage as a contract for the good of a ruling class. As a Lady by Atrisian and a Citizen by Panathan standards, Yasha grew up hearing that her spouse would be selected, groomed, and politically advantageous.

[member="Kaden Mantis"] was not, nor would he ever have been, approvable to those circles.

“I want to say it.” Yasha said, black lips pursed as she took in the sight of the man. “Teach me how to say the words, I want to say it, Kaden… I’m probably going to stutter a million times, but I don’t want to wait another minute. Riduurok me. Do it. How does it go? Mhi solus t-uh… t-marry me.”

 

[Kaden Farr]

”All of it. I’ve been carrying it since we met twelve years ago.”

It was a fact. Kaden had been there for Yasha since they had met. They had been joined at the hip for the better part of that time and it had led to this. This was a moment which had been a long time coming, but delayed because of their time in the Netherworld. Without Gray would this moment have ever come? Kaden didn’t know and was unsure where anything would be right now, other than the kissing.

Gray left. They were alone. That’s when Yasha asked her question.

”Yes, I do. I have since before we went into the Warlock Gate, though I didn’t quite know that’s what it was.”

Kaden knew that if Baiko were there to hear this conversation she would freak out. Yasha didn’t know it, but Baiko had tried to eliminate Kaden from the picture. She had told him he would have to allow her hand to remain free, but Kaden didn’t want that. It was selfish he knew it, but Kaden loved Yasha. He loved the idea of them. Kaden loved the dream of them.

She wanted to get married. Baiko wouldn’t want this.

”Mhi solus tome...” Kaden paused so she could repeat it

Mhi solus dar’tome... mhi me'dinui an... mhi ba'juri verde.”

With each phrase he stopped to allow Yasha to repeat it. He coached her.

”And if you can’t get it... just say it in Epicant. I don’t care if it’s in Mando’a. We’re us.”

Kaden was just haooy they were making a riduurok. It was what they both wanted. It was what they already had.

[member="Gray Raxis"] [member="Yasha Mantis"]

 

[Gray Raxis]

Like a wish granted, [member="Baiko no Kaho"] suddenly was dragging Gray off somewhere as soon as he left the throne room. He didn't fight against the action either. Not that the woman was about to let him if he did. No, he just followed along until she had them wherever it was she was taking them. As much run of the palace as she had it could be anywhere in it. Gray was not familiar with it at all. He had come here a handful of times before and only went to the old room used by the alor council or a small garden. So he was glad that he had someone who knew the place to lead him around like the blind man he was right now.

Finally alone, Gray sat down. Baiko had said something about tea so he assumed that must be coming. There was no real sense sitting their quietly or making small talk though with how excited the woman was, so he decided to jump right into things. " When I arrived no one was around. I assume that was thanks to you. The first thing I did as soon as I entered was removed my gauntlet and showed them my left hand." He repeated the action for her as he spoke. " I asked them 'Do you see this? Mandalore mourns her children.'" After a moment of silence he removed his other gauntlet and set the pair down onto the table top. He removed his helmet from his head and set it down there as well. The scarf was still resting around his neck leaving his scars exposed. He pulled the scarf off and then recovered his sightless orbs. It was something he was sure she did not want to see.

Gray made sure the scarf was on tight then went on. " Kaden remained silent through this, but Yasha responded to me asking why she see was speaking with witches and Sith about Mandalorian matters. From there I just got an idea of what the two knew of our ways and tore it all apart. I need to rebuild the foundation of their understanding of our culture. What they know now is just.... It is too flawed and one sided. They see part of what culture is but are missing out on the rest. They need to know the rest." He had to pause here. As confident as he was with them earlier and even was sounding right now, he couldn't help doubting that he was making the right choice. Did even he see all of his people's culture? If he did then he could help them move forward but if he didn't then he could be doing more damage than what had already been done to them. Even more than the Netherworld had done. He reached up with his right hand to the back of his head and rubbed it. A soft sigh escaped his lips before he continued. " It got emotional fast. Even Kaden was getting heated up. Yasha eventually broke down though so I hugged her. She fought it for a second then gave in and hugged me back. My neck still feels a little wet from all the crying she did into it." He tilted his head to the side so she could see where he was talking about.

[member="Kaden Mantis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“You’re right… you have been carrying my fear for twelve years…. You can keep it, thanks. I don’t need any, when you have it covered.” Yasha ducked her chin and glanced at her Kaden.

He’d been her Kaden since the day after they cauterized Silas’ arm. “You keep holding onto everything until a Mando Wizard comes to drill sense in our heads, and it might get a bit tricky, cyare. Promise to talk to me more? Let me in.”

Her bare hand pressed on Kaden’s chest plate, as her eyes meandered to his face. “I’m your riduur, Kade. I’m your wife.”

Baiko would be livid. If only Malika was here… it occurred to Yasha out of all her family, her mother would be cheering them on. “Mhi s-solus tah-tome… I’m going to screw it up.” She winced and shook out her fingers, before placing them back on Kaden’s chest. Taking the words as slow as Kaden gave them to her, Yasha fought with the gargle of her mouth in Kaden’s home tongue.

“Wi oli ami vuim dabiduil, vi oli ami vuim noldik, vi ruoli oss, vi vess loeri vollealr.”* Her voice in her native tongue flowed upon the words with a lilting giddiness, choking only slightly at the idea of raising warriors.

“Someday I’m going to conquer Mando’a without a s-st-stutter.” Yasha groaned, “I love you, Kaden Mantis, who once was Farr. You went through the Netherworld to keep a promise we made as kids, when the galaxy was a terrible place… and it’s still terrible, this whole… reality is terrible but… We belong together. Yasha and her Kaden. Don’t hide from me anymore, for the love of Manda, we can’t hide. Not here.”

Cupping his cheek with her hand, Yasha pulled a hungry kiss from Kaden’s lips. Then another, and another. Her hand went to the crease between his chest and back plates, reeling him in. “You know… Baiko would have disabled the sec-cams in the throne room while [member="Gray Raxis"] was here…” dipping her lips to the side of his cheek, Yasha nibbled on Kaden’s ear, whispering in Epicant of certain energetic delights.

“Mhi me’dinui an, riduur.”

​

*”We are one when together, we are one when parted, we share all, we will raise warriors.”​

 

[Baiko no Kaho]

“No one but Ambrose Vizsla knows you are here. I have made certain no one will see you upon Manda’yaim.” Baiko nodded, busying about with a tray, ceramics chinking on its’ surface. The sound of water, running from containment in a tea pot to a small ceramic cup. Baiko placed the cup gently into [member="Gray Raxis"]’ hand after he finished covering his scarred eyes.

“Hiding your scars on my account is unnecessary, Alor Raxis. I assure you I have seen far worse… not the least of which was Aditya, Yasha’s mother and my project to create prosthetics for veterans, after the Atrisian war with the Fringe.” The teacup was pleasant in its’ temperature, warm without scalding the skin. Baiko’s hands folded around Gray’s while she gave him the tea, sliding off to settle back on her lap. Unlike her dainty appearance, Baiko’s hands were the calloused digits of the swordswoman, tough and hearty. “We knew many darksiders who tortured their victims, and Aditya would not go another day without discovering some new method of healing the wounds… it was the most altruistic the woman got.”

Another ceramic cup chinked, then crashed back down to the wooden tray. Dropped. “You… you got Yasha to cry?!”

The rustling of fabric, a warm body sitting beside Gray on the bench. A light, dry cloth pressing on Gray’s neck, held there by steady fingers. “You are a messenger from Manda if you achieved such a thing. The only time I have encountered tears from Yasha Mantis were her newborn state, and the day [member="Silas Mantis"] took her into the battle for MandalMotors. She killed her first Mandalorian that day, at eight years old. Silas said her tears haunted her… you got her to cry? Without violence?!”

Baiko’s lungs huffed out a loose noise, most closely associated with a near-chuckle. “And Kaden didn’t spill your vital organs for touching her? Gray, you are a worker of miracles. The flaws in Yasha’s education are my own. I am the product of a Kiffar mother and Echani father, born and raised in the Atrisian Empire. I took charge of Yasha’s education on all that Ra did not.. and I must admit my failings as a wicked Echani soured by cultural distaste for the Resol’nare I had yet to understand. Forgive me?”

 

[Kaden Farr]

Kaden heard the words and smiled. Yasha was his wife, no, his riduur. In every sense of the word it seemed as she ensured she could make the vow. A chuckle escaped his lips as she spoke the saying in her mother tongue. Kaden couldn’t help but remember how much she used to stutter and it still happened at times. It was her most endearing quality.

”I promise,” he shrugged.

She was right. He hated it, but she was right. He nodded. They couldn’t hide. It was wrong and selfish, but Kaden had been afraid. He carried enough fear for them both, so she could lead. Yasha would be Mand’alor, but because Kaden carried her fear. Kaden would burry the consequences too. They belonged together and were stronger together.

”This reality we are in is rotten. I can’t help but wonder what would have happened had we not gone through the gate. We did though, both us being foolish, but now you know. You know what Kaine did, you know what you need to lead. I would follow you again.”

Baiko. She would have turned the feed off, but she also would be the first in to stop them if she thought for one second they would have done this so quickly. The woman told Kaden and Yasha not to do this in secret. They had, and it felt right, it felt Mando’ade. Kaden and Yasha embraces each other as his people would. Yasha would lead them, and as a Mando’ad.

”You mean...” Kaden eyed the throne where they shared their first kiss.

Kaden presses the mag lock on Yasha’s armor as he kissed her. She had kissed him first, over and over, each kiss deepening. They were married, this was right. Kaden picked Yasha up off her feet and carried her to the throne. It was time for another memory, another first.

[member="Yasha Mantis"] [member="Gray Raxis"]

 

[Gray Raxis]

Gray was expecting the tea from the sounds and visuals he got through the force, but he did not expect for her to touch his hands like she had. It had been awhile since he had such intimate interactions with someone. It had been some time since he had really interacted with anyone new in general though. Maybe turning into a Mandalorian hermit contemplating his people's culture and the place the force could have within it was not the best idea after all. Granted it had come in handy today. No, he definitely needed to get out more again. Things just progressed though as [member="Baiko no Kaho"] spoke about Yasha's mother.

As unexpected as the hand touching had been for Gray, Baiko moving next to him on the bench to wipe his neck caught him completely off guard. It seemed he had done something amazing and magical from the way she spoke. The topic had moved from Aditya to Yasha and even her admitting her own shortcomings in the culture. It was not pleasant to hear any of it. After she finished speaking he turned his attention to her fully. " I wouldn't say the fault was in you on her learning how to be a Mandalorian. Her family is responsible for that. Also you might not have been properly taught either. So don't blame yourself. She asked me to teach her so I will teach her how to be a Mandalorian." He offered Baiko a smile and patted her should with his left hand. After a gentle squeeze, he added, " I'm more worried about the darkness trying to take her over. Thankfully she is force dead or I don't think she would be sane after the Netherworld." He knew she would want to know about this. He didn't know if she had sensed it before, but in case she hadn't he wanted to let her know.

[member="Kaden Mantis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“Let’s remake it. Reality, it can’t be too h-hard to remake reality. Let’s make it ours.” Yasha knew she spoke utter nonsense, but between vows and courageous Mandalorian Force Wizards, it seemed the day for a bit of nonsense. “You may need to… I never want to go back… if we hadn’t gone through the Gate, Baiko never would have been worried enough about us to call forth [member="Gray Raxis"]. I’m a bit perturbed that was her first option.”

Options… Baiko would be livid with this one. A gentle grin brushed across Yasha’s face. “In for a gram, in for a pound… Ambrose is already furious.”

Yasha’s armour fell on the ground in pieces, each thudding and rolling with the trajectory of the inevitable gravity between two young bodies. Hitting the maglock on Kaden’s armour, Yasha watched as a brace clattered to the throne room ground.

“Kaden!” Yasha laughed, swept up and carried to the throne. The past and its’ horrors were done. New memories would replace old nightmares… If Ra had been alive, they’d be dead.

Fade.​

14/100. No babies! Woohoo!​

 

[Baiko no Kaho]

He seemed to twitch or balk at her touch. From the way it seemed on the world Baiko first spoke with him on, [member="Gray Raxis"] was estranged from his wife or lover. Far be it for Baiko to use such a complication to her advantage. Yet, when one dealt with the blind, some things, such as personal space, had to be sacrificed for decency, clarity and etiquette’s sake. Baiko continued to keep some form of vague contact, both as a test of the waters, and as a method of keeping the man guessing.

“I am no Mandalorian.” Baiko’s alto voice was silk in the air, peppered as it was by Baiko pouring herself another cup of tea. “If the task had been left to me, I would have bundled Yasha up and taken her to her family estate on Atrisia, or further still to my people on Sabarene. An ancient Echani Forebearer and healer lives on Sabarene, [member="Manu Xextos"]. They say his skin glows permanently with the Light of the Force. Perhaps there she would be protected from her state. I promised her mother to care for the girl, yet I did not expect her father and uncle to allow her in battle so quickly.”

A deep sigh exited Baiko’s nostrils, carrying with it a scent of exotic flowers on the breeze. From the scents around them, and the rustle of leaves, it appeared Baiko had taken Gray to a garden in the sun. “[member="Aditya Mantis"] was a Panathan Citizen, and priestess of Nussyn, the Goddess of Love and War. [member="Preliat Mantis"] was the first of his family to become Mando’ad… besides the lessons Preliat did teach, Yasha’s entire education on being Mandalorian came from sitting at the feet of Mand’alor the Undying. It is not difficult to fathom her miseducation, given her environments. Thank you for teaching her… I am still of half a mind to remove her from Mandalore completely… now, before anything permanent takes place.”

The fabric of Baiko’s kimono rustled as she tilted her head, a stick or two of jewelled hair pins clinking together like wind chimes on a calm day. “Darkness? Of what do you speak? Are you speaking of the horrors she discovered, or a specific event?”

 

[Kaden Farr]

It had really been a decision to move on and go forward. [member="Gray Raxis"] had given them the nudge they needed. Kaden knew Baiko would have never sent him if she knew this would have been the result.

His lips were going to be wearing a permanent smile for a long time. At least that’s how it seemed as Kaden held his riddur in his arms. His fingers brushed through the messy ebony locks of hair which were no longer contained by what was supposed to keep it in place. Kaden was laughing as he thought about many things, chief of which being they could be caught. Poor Ambrose had caught them kissing on the throne, had he now become aware of their newest experience?

Kaden’s chest heaved up and down. He was breathless. Who knew something like love could so... vigorous?

”Remeber when I said we had to kiss a lot... I’m adding to that. We have to do this a lot too.”

He laughed again. His lips pressed to Yasha’s. There was a craving for her that had been dormant under the surface. It was fully awake, and Kaden feared it would never be satisfied.

A deep breath was drawn in and let out slowly. His mind thought back to [member="Baiko no Kaho"]. ”Baiko... I know she didn’t send Gray her to make this happen. If she had her way I would have been sent packing the day she met me. She told me as much... I wasn’t good enough for you. I think she’s not going to be happy...”

Kaden stopped just short of telling Yasha that Baiko had to told him that Yasha’s hand has to remain free. He was certain Baiko had told her the same. For all the meddling, Baiko still loved them both. Kaden knew it. She just didn’t understand them, and if Kaden were pressed, Baiko didn’t understand Yasha. How could she?

”What are we going to do about telling Baiko? She’s a good woman, and when we have children I want her to be there for them... but she isn’t going to be happy, not at first.”

[member="Yasha Mantis"]

 

[Gray Raxis]

As [member="Baiko no Kaho"] spoke, Gray took a drink from the cup of tea that had been brought him earlier. It was good. It made him realize just how thirsty he was as well. He continued to drink as she spoke being sure to listen to every word. This woman was no fool, unlike himself, so it would be beyond foolish not to. He was learning more about Yasha's situation and the more he heard the more his heart went out for her. So much pain and conflict surrounded her and none of it was her own fault. Why would her own family do some of those things to her? The best influence on her life it seemed was sitting next to him right now. As she finished speaking, he had finished the cup of tea. He definitely needed to introduce this woman to his sister [member="Lady Kay"] sometime. They could enjoy their tea parties while talking politics. Although the galaxy might not be able to handle it. He set his cup down with a light clink and turned his face towards Baiko.

What Gray took away at the end of Baiko's words was that she wasn't aware of the situation. Was it because she had to be shut off and hide her sensitivity while on Mandalore? Or was it just something only Gray could tell having to be so connected to the living force so deeply and so long? It didn't matter. He had to tell himself that and refocus on the matter at hand. " I'm not talking about either. Yasha has a darkness following her around. The dark side is clinging to a piece of her that she must have left behind in the Netherworld. I suspect and even told her that she must have been born force sensitive. It would make sense that the dark side would grab onto that and try to corrupt her through that part of herself. Thankfully she is force dead now and can't hear the whispering or feel the.... I don't even have a word for the feeling. It is just bad and wrong." Maybe he was going too on that line of thought. He had no evidence to support any of this outside of his own thoughts and feelings. It could very well be he was being lead astray from the truth of things.

Gray remembered something that Baiko had mentioned earlier. Maybe getting on that subject would lighten the mood down a bit. " You said Yasha doesn't have anything permanent keeping her here. That is wrong. She is eyeing Ra's throne and has [member="Kaden Mantis"] as well. By now those two should have exchanged vows or at least gotten frisky. I would be if I was in their shoes and I'm not as young as they are." He chuckled a bit and grinned as a thought crossed his mind. " Can you image if someone walked in on them right now while they are being together? I don't see either of them reacting well to it. It is why I left them alone though so they could have their time together in privacy." There mood certainly was lightened.