Private The Sands of Ophus V

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"But how do I know who's the good ones?" Colette pleaded. "This galaxy is full of liars and cheats, and I'm just some… Some dumb little girl who has seventeen years of catching up to do."

Oh god, just the thought of it caused the realization to smack her across the head like a dump truck. It hurt, she could feel her head begin to spin as the stress kicked into high gear and began to chomp down on her nerves. Colette tensed up in her seat as she stared out across the dunes, her eyes seemingly glossing over as she floated away.

It was ironic almost that the true shock of how small she was wouldn't strike until she was back home again; once her perception of her own homeworld as a whole had been shattered into dust. She was nobody, nothing she ever did mattered.

It wasn't a bad realization, but it wasn't a comfortable one either.

"P-" She exhaled. "Please stop the car." Colette mumbled before the panic got a hold of her and she erupted in a scream. "STOP. PLEASE."

"I can't breathe."

 

[Valery Noble]

Ophus V

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

"You will always be able to tell, even if it sometimes takes a while," Valery said, and this visit back home proved just that. For many years, she had held a perspective about some of the people here, and only now she saw the truth. But Valery was quick to realize that her words didn't quite reach Colette — she was staring out into the dune sea like her soul had left her body. Valery blinked, and already slowed down to see if she could help.

Then, she felt a shift in the Force.

With her foot on the brake, she rather abruptly brought them to a standstill underneath the hot sun, and reached over to place her hand against Colette's cheek. She tucked the woman's gaze to her own, and tried her best to seem calm and composed. In reality, Valery was fighting hard not to panic — she was obviously worried about her Padawan.

"Colette? Stay calm, and focus on your breathing first. Everything will be okay," she said, hoping that her Padawan would catch her breath again before she'd have to try something a little more serious.

"I'm here with you. Squeeze my hand if you need to, but stay calm." Valery used her free hand to reach for Colette's, and gave her a chance to squeeze as hard as she needed to, if at all.

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

It was a journey through the highest of highs and lowest of lows. The emotional turmoil made Colette curl up into a ball. She couldn't handle the feedback of her mind suddenly realizing just exactly how insignificant she was and how little she knew. At the back of her mind she knew that she had lost her home which had been a sort of grounding factor to her, but now the only thing she had was an ideal and a whole big galaxy.

The kid nodded but struggled to keep up with the breathing. Pure emotion like this was another one of those entirely new experiences. Eventually however she would manage to find the rhythm and one breath after another began to fill her lungs and she felt able to calm down.

"I've lost my home, Valery!" She exclaimed as the tears flowed. "Everything I was before the Jedi, everything I thought was real turned out to be a lie."

"I-... I am-" She stopped and got back into the breathing again so that she could get the reemerging panic under control. "I never—"

"There was never a home, I was never—"

 

[Valery Noble]

Ophus V

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

When Colette's breathing steadied, there was very visible relief in Valery's eyes. But she still leaned in closer, and offered Colette a shoulder to cry on, or just a pair of arms to fall in between for a tight hug. The situation about her homeworld was a tricky one, and Valery knew that no words could really change the way things were. However, after listening to Colette, Valery felt like there was perhaps a little bit of wisdom that might help.

"There's a saying that goes Home is where the heart is," Valery said after a moment. "I know that today has been difficult, and that the people here have broken your heart. But you decide where your real home is, Colette, and it doesn't have to be a place. To me, it has always been the people around me, no matter where I am." She had changed homes several times already, but each time, Kahlil and Vera had been there with her.

Now, Aris and the triplets were part of the family, and they just made home feel even more like home.

"You'll always be loved, appreciated and valued with us, and with so many others." Valery pulled her closer and gently placed a kiss atop Colette's head.

"You'll never have to be afraid that it will change. I will always be there for you."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Home is where the heart is. Arguably the heart was in the chest, but the meaning of the saying wasn't lost on Colette and the kid seemed to listen to her master with a keen ear despite her fractured spirit. And in further spite of how cold the world had suddenly seemed to become it only helped make the hug and kiss all the more warmer.

"I know." Colette whimpered and sniveled and tightened the hug. "You've been more kind to me than the ones who were supposed to be my family has been."

The kid sniveled and let in a deep, wet inhale. There was a brief moment of silence as Colette allowed her tears to run down the sides of her eyes for a moment before she let out a weak chuckle and another wet, almost guttural sniffle. She swallowed it for a moment and then wiped at her eyes. A very appreciative look set on Valery and the kid smile turned even wider.

"I'm a mess right now." She said and laughed again, mostly out of embarrassment. "But I'm lucky that you are here."

"I still love you, Valery. You're still one of the most important people that I have and I am…"

Another sniffle.

"I am just so thankful that you are in my life."

 

[Valery Noble]

Ophus V

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

"The people who have loved me the most, have also been the ones I've chosen into my life." Valery's parents had actually loved her, but her old family had been the Jedi back in her own time. They had cared for her, sure, but it wasn't anything remotely close to Kahlil, some of the friends she had made post-stasis, or her little ones. Her family offered a type of unconditional love that kept her heart beating forever.

It was a way of showing affection that Valery shared towards Colette as well.

"Don't worry about being a mess. Sometimes, it's good to let it all out, hm?" She patted the girl on her back and reached up to playfully ruffle her hair a little. Vera loved it when she did, Aris got annoyed when she did, but now it was Colette's turn to feel that weirder side of her motherly side.

"I'm also not going anywhere. You're family, and we'll be there for you." Kahlil, Vera, Aris and even the triplets — they all loved having her around.

Finally, Valery's eyes turned back to the sand dunes ahead, and she let out a soft little sigh, "Do you feel good about continuing our little mission here? If you're not feeling ready for it, you can tell me."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Chosen family was a bit of an alien thought yet not really. The truth was that in a way Colette had chosen her tribe as her family at one point but she just didn't recognize it. The issue then was that her tribe just never chose her back, and it was this realization that was oh so slowly dawning on her. Despite the pain she quite clearly was undergoing because of it, Colette still nodded her head up and down at Valery's question.

"If we don't find them, they'll be dead, and that's even worse." The kid frowned. "After that we can head home again and we can pretend this never happened."

Of course, that was more than likely not going to happen. Given how central everything on this planet had been in forming who Colette was she wasn't going to be able to just drop it all and move on. It would take time, but she didn't know that yet.

"I think we can keep going for an hour before we should make camp." She said and looked at the setting sun. "The nights can get cold. We'll want to get the tent up before then."

Unless spoken to, Colette would spend most of the remaining time in silence as she sorted through the thoughts and emotions in her head. She leaned against the door of the speeder with a tired stare at the long road up ahead and tried to figure out where it was that her old clan had tried to find protection from the winds.

 

[Valery Noble]

Ophus V

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

"Mhmm, we're not going to let anybody die." Even if these people hadn't been kind to Colette, they didn't deserve to die for it. That's what sometimes made for hard decisions as a Jedi — having to help bad people, or people who didn't really cooperate or respect you all that much. A Jedi had to always remain selfless.

"I don't think pretending this never happened will work either. Whether good or bad, this planet has had a lot of impact on who you are now. You have to accept it for what it is, and move forward," Valery then added before she looked at Colette with a softer smile, "Which is easier said than done, but I will help you." Valery had gone through a lot of difficult things herself, so learning how to move forward wasn't something new to her.

In some cases, though, even Valery struggled to do that.

"Alright, let's find a good place to stop, then." Even if they had an hour, she'd rather stop closer to a landmark, than in the middle of an open dessert. It'd help with orientation, and perhaps it offered some shelter or protection too.

"I think I see some rocks up ahead. Or maybe... something else? It's hard to say, but it looks like a bigger object."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

“We need cover. People aren’t a danger, but you can never tell with some groups or wildlife.” Colette said and looked out across the desert and found a spot. She raised a finger and pointed towards a small valley in the distance. It would be able to hide them from the elements and people.

As they reached their spot and began to set up the camp it was like her memories just came back. The act of putting up a tent, to get a fire started and to sit by it to stare up at the stars, wondering what they meant and what was out there. Funny to think she actually had the answer to some of those questions now.

“Sorry, I think I’m going to be a bit quiet.” Colette said and yawned. “This has been a long day.”

Her back leaned into the sand with another lazy yawn.

“But I can’t deny that this is something that I’ve missed…”

The beauty of it all.

“The stars…”

Her eyes were heavy.

“The space in-between…”

 

[Valery Noble]

Ophus V

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

Valery was mostly quiet while they set up camp as well, just to give Colette a moment to quietly enjoy something all too familiar to her. Valery herself had gone camping many times, and sometimes survival needs in jungles or desserts had forced her to learn these skills as well. Right now, though, she couldn't really enjoy it as much, even if it made for a good distraction for Colette. No, after listening to Colette's struggles, the only thing on her mind was her Padawan.

What if camping out here just made her feel worse?

"Don't worry about it. This has been a long day," Valery said with a soft smile, as she got settled herself. Keshian eyes then turned up towards the stars, and she just watched.

"It's a beautiful night, too. I'm sure we can see-" Valery stopped as soon as she looked over, and noticed Colette dozing off. She smirked, and turned her eyes back up to the stars. The stars, the space in-between — it truly was something beautiful. Hopefully, it would be one thing she could always remember fondly about being here.

After a while, Valery closed her eyes as well, and drifted asleep.

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"What is that, Elder?"
"Well, you see, this is a rifle. It is a very dangerous tool…"

"What's wrong Colette?"
"Red! I can't find Perry."
"Well, where did you last see him?"

"You found him! You found Perry!"

"Oh, it's you."

"You know the way, Victor. Once she is old enough to take care of herself…"
"We vote her out, yeah."
"No, she's family. I say we let her—"
"Now isn't the time. We'll talk more later."

"He's taking her with him, huh? Guess that's one way to solve it."

"Take care out there, okay?"

Colette woke up with a gasp. It took her a moment to get her bearings straight. The night was turning into dawn and in an hour or two the sun would have risen enough to no longer rest upon the horizon like a bead of water.

The kid turned over towards Valery with several deep breaths to regain her center.

"Morning." She said and exhaled for a moment of peace. "Sleep well?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Ophus V

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

Valery was already awake, staring up at the sky.

"Not really. Maybe I'm getting too used to my comfort at home, but sleeping outside alone doesn't work as well anymore." It sure didn't compare to her own bed, with her husband's arm wrapped around her. She sighed at the thought, but pushed it aside rather quickly. She felt rested enough, and there was something far more important on her mind right now.

"Nightmare?" Valery asked, as she sat up and started tying her hair into a ponytail.

"I uh, heard you a little. You okay?" She smiled softly, but allowed Colette the choice to talk about it or not. Nightmares were a very personal thing sometimes, and it wasn't her right to make Colette open up about hers.

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

The kid dragged her hand across her face. Her body was perhaps a little sore, but that was to be expected when sleeping out in the wilds like this. She rolled her shoulders one at a time and stretched her back with a groan.

"I don't know." She said and sighed as she stood up. "I dreamt about things from when I still lived here. The good and the bad."

"... Did you ever have someone when you were small that made you feel unwelcome in the Order or anywhere else?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Ophus V

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

"I did," Valery admitted before finally standing up to stretch her arms and legs a little. "As a younger Padawan, I really distinguished myself with combative skills, and everything was fine because Jedi my age looked up to me. But I changed a lot after my face was scarred, and really lost my arrogant and overconfident attitude. Some other Padawans picked up on that, and I was bullied." She didn't sound too sad over it, nor did it really bother her too much to talk about it.

All of those memories were lessons she had long accepted, and even very directly shared with her husband once, when their Dyad had allowed him a way into those memories.

With her consent, of course.

"No matter where you go, there will always be people who make you feel unwelcome, or people who you likely just won't get along with. It hurts a lot more if they were supposed to be close, but..." she shrugged. "It's just the way things are."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"That's a load of bantha crap." Colette muttered. "Causing pain in any form is never 'the way things are', Valery, and you know that."

"In my clan we have a man named Victor." Colette began to explain. "Remember that story I told you about with the man who got mauled by an animal because of me? That was his brother."

The kid began to pack up the tent and the other supplies as she went on.

"He held me responsible for that. Treated me like dirt. Openly spoke up against me because it was easier to do than accept that his brother was dead. Every chance he had to try and get rid of me was a chance he took, and even as Keer offered to take me away he was the one who pushed everyone the hardest to accept it."

It wasn't a man that Colette had much respect for, but she still knew why he was treating her as he was. Or well, so she thought. It made it easier for her to accept why he was being a butt.

"You good to go? The next stop is about half a day away."

 

[Valery Noble]

Ophus V

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

"No, it very much is the way things are sometimes It doesn't make it right, and it doesn't mean we won't try to stop it, but there are places in this Galaxy where betrayal, violence and self-centered behavior is the norm to people. You have to learn to look beyond your old clan here, or the better situations you'll find within the Alliance," Valery said a little more seriously.

"I'll even give you an example. Ever heard of Boz Pity, the graveyard planet? There was once a species that lived there called the Gargantelles, and they were known for their large statures and six arms. The Hutts discovered them, and believed them to be an ideal species for their slave campaigns."

"But the Gargantelle population resisted, and repelled so many invasions that the Hutts convinced a neighboring world where a type of battle droid lived, to exterminate the entire species."

"I get your example, and it's a valid one that shows a more complicated story. But do not try to tell me that I don't know what this Galaxy is like in some places. Don't neglect the fact that there are millions of people who still live in a society where violence is constantly used to intimidate them, or break them down. To them, it's very much the way things are, whether we are trying to help them or not."

Only after that, Valery dipped her head lightly and moved back over to the speeder to get ready. They still had a long road ahead of them, so it was best to get going. If she so desired, they could always continue their discussion along the way.

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Learn to look beyond the clan. Colette's brows sank and they sank pointedly at Valery.

"I don't care about the Gargantelles." She began with a hiss. "I don't care about the Hutts, or the droids, or the— the stupid fething chit the whole galaxy seems so hellbent to kill itself over!"

"How can you stand there, talk about a million people and yet not see that right here, right now, you are asking a single person, me, to forget the only thing that keeps me going?" She fired back and kicked the speeder with an angry scowl. "That maybe the idea of refusing to believe that's how the galaxy works isn't because I truly believe that as much as I need to believe that?"

The girl pointed at the burnt out campfire, her arm shaking as she extended her index finger to point at it.

"THIS was my reality a little over a year ago." She hissed at Valery. "THIS is all that I knew or ever thought that I'd be."

"DUST AND ASHES, VALERY." Colette broke down. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she cried. "I have NOTHING without that hope."

"You have had a whole lifetime to come to terms with how uncaring the galaxy is, I have only had THIRTEEN months. So ex-fething-scuse me if I have to find some dumb way to deal with that."

 

[Valery Noble]

Ophus V

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

Even though none of what Colette really made any sense to her, Valery wasn't going to push the subject. She'd have to come to terms with what reality was like in the Galaxy at some point, rather than linger in fantasy, but now was not the time. Not after she had felt betrayed by her own people, and needed to find comfort in her Master.

"I'm sorry," Valery said after a moment.

Her hand carefully extended before entering the speeder, hoping to gently squeeze the young woman's shoulder. It was never easy to see a Padawan be this emotional, especially not after what already happened. Now, the only thing Valery really cared for was comforting her.

"Come on, let's go sit down, alright?" She opened the door of the speeder. "We can take this slow."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

This whole trip was starting to feel like a mistake. From the very start and up until this very moment it felt as if the world itself was working against Colette. Well, not with Red and Nix, but that was just about the only exception. All the places that she had once called home and that had felt welcoming to her just didn't feel the same anymore and she the kid wasn't quite sure how to handle that.

Colette took her seat in the speeder and let Valery drive. Not because Colette couldn't drive, she sorta could, but because just like all other forms of travel she got extremely nauseous unless she had a landmark to focus on. That made oncoming traffic - as rare as it was - very hard to notice.

"Look, I get it." Colette would eventually speak up after a moment of silence to gather her thoughts. "I don't appreciate it, but I get it."

The wind blew through her hair as she leaned her elbow against the door with a sigh.

"I won't stop fighting for the galaxy to become what I see it as, but…" Her eyes set on the blue sky above as if to try and spot the stars beyond it. "Yeah, people aren't doing well out there."

"I just don't understand why people can't seem to get along."

 

[Valery Noble]

Ophus V

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

"That's all I wanted to say," Valery said with a nod. "We fight for what we believe in, but we can only do that if we accept what we're up against." Even if that reality was harsh and something that offered little hope. Still, Valery didn't want to go into it too hard right now, not after Colette's outburst. If she needed time to really accept it, or just acknowledge it the way it was, Valery would allow it. As long as it didn't cause issues during their missions.

"As for people not getting along..." she let out a soft sigh.

"From our perspective, it will always look dumb. But a lot of people do crave power, and it's never a balanced thing. Money, drugs, or just conquest are all very important to some people. You've seen it with the Mandalorians, and in the Outer Rim it's way more about credits and influence."