With every step further into the cantina, regret clawed its way up her insides: starting in the pit for her stomach, then clawing its way into her diaphragm, lungs, heart. Its cold fingers constricted the base of her wind pipe when Reggie led her to the storage room, but she managed to collect herself. She glanced at his extended hand before looking back at him. She forced one of her signature, tight-lipped smiles for the sake of faux politeness, paired it with a judgmental
hmm, and showed herself into the room.
Her personal bodyguard, Damris Inkari, had all but begged her to escort her here. Mal knew she had done the right thing by denying him that. At best, another presence would have thrown off the already precarious vibe of the meeting; at worst, Damris would be somehow exposed as a former CSF detective, and then things would have really gone downhill.
Reggie would probably be able to tell that the headmistress was breathing more shallowly than she had been when outside, but the difference was difficult to spot. She clearly reacted like this at least every so often to clandestine meetings like these, and had assumedly learned quickly to hide it by shifting her weight in a certain way, fluttering her eye lashes slightly more often, inconspicuously wetting her lips—all to appear less like a lost damsel in distress.
Not doing so quickly made a girl into a target in scenes like the ones she frequented, one which was bound to be taken advantage of sooner rather than later, and this place had yet to prove to her that it was as safe as he said it was.
As he mused about verbiage, Mal listened passively, patiently, crossing her arms to further distract from the irregular rise and fall of her chest.
She jumped on her chance to speak. "
Because the third time's..." The charm? "
...my limit." She smiled again, this one as bitter as the first but not directed at him. "
Three times enslaved, three times freed." Her voice was even, distant, as if she wasn't talking about herself. In fact, she remembered, or had worked to recall through psychotherapy, each and every major experience during those times, but she was not here to beg pity from a spirit, kindred or not. "
I'd rather not see the cycle continue. Not for me, not for others."
She paused, taking time to breathe in and out a sigh. "
I'm of the opinion that as much is up to us." Us was a new concept. She had always had partners in her freedom business—Kandra, Damris, Iayn, Sonti—but had never considered the other individuals unaffiliated with her directly saw to similar outcomes. "
The law is too friendly with slavers."
Her last two comments she took time to enunciate clearly. Had she not, she might have very nearly growled those words. Her take on the law didn't apply nearly intergalactically, but it held enough places, she felt, to make the generalization a fair one. Malcoma was a criminal herself, yes, but she felt that her ends justified her means. In that she had good intentions, arguably the best, she tried to be fair when appropriate. After all, fairness was the value she had clung to the tightest all throughout her years enslaved. There was something magical about cultivating a behavior that was so desperately lacking in hutt palaces and the dank cargo holds of bounty hunters' ships.
But, the law. It rarely directly protected slavers or encouraged their trade, though it could reinforce the cycles of vulnerability. Other times, corrupt authorities could all but deliver victims back to slavers who they had recently escaped from. Both traps were ones a younger Malcoma had fallen into out of no fault of her own.
She wanted to fill the holes with the bodies of dead slavers so that no woman or man fell into them ever again.
Her breath began to even out.
Reggie