Private The Lingering Light

[Lossa Darcuhl]

Following Shadows of Departure

Tags: Briana Sal-Soren
Location: Jakku Enclave, Green Room
Wearing: Traditional Robe, Echo Stone

<Bri.
I got something you might want to hear. Nothings on fire, just. I could use some advice.
♡ Lo>​

Lossa's message encrypted and sent to Briana almost the same hour as Romi's droid had appeared.

Putting on a face that spoke nothing of what she'd learned until she could have a moment of silence to herself. Ill spent wondering if the woman had been in her right mind to leave her with such a task. Chewing on a nail that could spare no more of itself to her rampant overbearing thoughts.

Taking a walk along the corridors now to find something to ease her mind.

The green room offered little comfort in light of that droids visit. The recorded form of Romi sharing a final trial for the Zeltron when the woman herself could not. It hadn't settled in completely yet.

Right hand gliding among the greenery required for the Nexu Mending Balm. She'd never put much thought into what was needed for such things, the intricacies of certain practices well beyond as her mind searched for anything other than the reality she'd found herself thrust into. Some great distraction to let her process this at another time.

If ever.

The memory of Gatz Derrevar and his insight flitting across her mind. An irony behind it now as she laughed at the words he'd said. At how soon she had needed to use his wisdom.

But Romi was gone, and that pillar for Lossa gone with it.

The sting of her eyes prompted action. Not wanting to remove her hand from the greenery to dab at her eyes with a sleeve as her left shoulder rolled. Reminded that reality was something she could not escape from again as the phantom limb gave nothing but the feeling of failure. Dull eyes settling on the empty space. Waiting to hear back from Briana with her latest message.

It made her feel childish to reach out so soon after receiving Romi's message.

With everything Briana likely had on her plate concerning Naboo, it felt like drawing from a pitcher already dangerously close to empty. Perhaps something they could talk about rather than silently wonder. She'd expected to take over the final steps to rebuilding the Enclave, not overseeing it. A lesson in remaining still wasn't a lesson that was all that appealing to her.

Perhaps it was better that Romi had been taken so suddenly from the picture. Responsibility for the Enclave and it's students was a good a reason as any to be still for a time.

A lingering touch against the plants gave her little peace to think with, hearing her steps echo against the walls that seemed to close in around her. The lonely steps reminding her once more of the conversation, that there were people she could call upon.

She just needed to reach out.

She'd taken the first step, waiting patiently as she could to hear back. Managing to sit down, resting her chin against the hand she had with a troubled sigh.

"Hope she's okay." A lingering thought as she settled into the quiet.

Tsk tsk tsk. What was Romi thinking leaving us in charge? We'll just run like we always do. Couldn't make knight when it was easy and now-

The silence around her was unbroken, but the quiet of her mind felt like the ocean rolling from a great storm that had yet to reveal itself.

Now we have to play catch up the hard way. I mean. It's just her daughter, and a few other well known names for students. What could go wrong?

"We'll do fine." Her head curled into her arm, the cool table wonderful against the headache that had bloomed.

We know ourselves to well for that. But the bravado is adorable.

"Shut up." Her arm curled tighter around her head, as if it would shield her.

I thought we'd gone over this-

"Shut up." Hand balling into a tight fist as her thoughts grew louder to meet her physical voice.

Can't stop-

"SHUT UP!" Her hand slammed against the tabletop, rising out of the chair as her own thoughts cackled and faded into the surrounding quiet. Her body settling once more into the seat as she laid her head down. Ha d sliding into her robes.

The Echo Stone she clutched a dingy smear of dark stains that clear strands pushed through.

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

Wearing: XoXo | Equipment: Lightsaber | Location: Jakku | Tag: Lossa Darcuhl ​

When word of Romi's vanishing act reached her, and Briana received the consequent message that followed that news — which sounded a lot like the last request of someone who'd already resolved they were about to meet their maker, which was needless to say, alarming— she'd nearly been knocked from her feet.

Nearly, because how many earth-shattering revelations could one person endure in a single year, before learning to firmly anchor themselves to the ground? Yes, it was difficult. Nerve wracking, even. But instead of crumbling, instead of sinking into the suffocating emotions pushing into her sternum and demanding attention, as she might have done when she was younger — Briana pulled herself to her feet, cleared the moisture from her eyes, and went about the remainder of her day with the same resolve and routine as she would with any other, albeit wrapped in a protective layer of numbed detachment to keep herself separated from it all. Focus on what she could control, even when it took considerable effort just to keep her knees from buckling.

By the time Lossa's message arrived through her communication systems, Briana was already enroute to Jakku, having been charged with helping her run the day to day happenings there. Knowing her cousin, Briana doubted that Lossa had taken the news well. After all, stillness wasn't typically in her nature. A trait that she and all her siblings likewise shared and struggled with, in varying degrees. Briana previously thought this was a characteristic they'd inherited from their Corellian father, but was slowly starting to believe that perhaps the Aureus bloodline was the stronger culprit.

She leaned back in her chair, pushing slightly away from the console to stare up at the ceiling, the stark silence of hyperspace pulling her farther down into her thoughts. It was difficult to not question Romi's judgment in all of this, to wonder if it was something that either of them were truly ready for.

To try and fill the shoes of Romi Jade was a tall order.

For Briana and Lossa?

... Sigh.

There could certainly be no going back to the old days, now.

----------------------------
​

By the time she landed down on Jakku, it took little effort to locate Lossa. She was well attuned to her cousin's signature, finding it just as familiar as her very own heartbeat, a blaring beacon she could pick out of the most dense crowd if she needed to.

In a thinly populated desert Enclave? Childs play.

Following that signal all the way to the green room, Briana paused outside the door as Lossa's voice, high-strung and intense, filtered through. Was this a bad time? Briana rocked back on her heels, wrestling with whether or not she should give Lossa the space to deal with whatever predicament was at hand, or try to help.

The cacophony of crashes and the screaming that followed made the decision for her, taking it upon herself to intervene least the situation spiral out of control.

What she found was startling. In that, there was nothing actually startling to be found. No one. Just...Lossa, alone.

Briana's brows drew together as she considered her next words and what to say, her mind already trying to make sense of it, to rationalize what seemed irrational. Grief could do funny things to people...but this wasn't... there was a pervading sense of darkness pushing in around her, freezing the area.

And it was coming from Lossa herself.

"Hey, Loss..." she started cautiously, dropping her hands casually into her pockets as she strode into the room.

This whole time, she'd been worried about Brandyn, about Romi, but perhaps she should have been paying more attention to her cousin instead. "Got your message, thought I'd come by in person..." She reached up, scratching idly at her cheek. "Who were you talking to just now?"

 

[Lossa Darcuhl]

Tags: Briana Sal-Soren
Location: Jakku Enclave, Green Room
Wearing: Traditional Robe, Echo Stone

She hadn't heard the turbolift. Hadn't heard anything to warn her about someone coming. There wasn't any flicker in the Force to suggest someone might have been near. Had she been that wrapped up with herself to fail at such a menial thing?

For the second time, Briana gave Lossa a start, table thumped with a leg as she tried to keep from jumping out of her own skin. Face screwed up in pain as she caught herself.

"Bri!" Relief at first that gave way to confusion.

Who had she been talking to?

"N-no one? I," Eyes searching for an answer on her cousins face before she made the connection. Briana had heard her. How much wasn't clear but she'd heard. "I haven't been sleeping well. I probably started dozing off and..."

The hand moved up to the missing arm, trying her best to appear embarrassed to push past the topic. Worry staining her presence in the Force as the dark presence around her seemed to grow in a looming shadow.

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

Wearing: XoXo | Equipment: Lightsaber | Location: Jakku | Tag: Lossa Darcuhl ​

There were many things that Lossa Darcuhl could do and get away with, antics that Briana willingly ignored for the sake of the love that bound them.

But attempting to lie to her? That wasn't something she could lightly dismiss, and the idea that Lossa would even try, unsettled her. Brandyn had hidden behind his lies for months, and look where that had gotten them. Surely, Lossa knew better. Surely, their shared ordeals had forged a bond solid enough to merit some modicum of trust between them.

For a long, silent moment, Briana's stormy blue eyes narrowed on her cousin, full lips pulling into a disapproving frown.

"You want to try that again?" she asked, an unusually hard edge taking to her voice as her spine straightened and shoulders squared. Both hands came down to land on her hips, eyebrow cocking. It was a classic Briana standoff pose. One that'd so often landed her in hot water with her parents and superiors as a child, but typically got her to the result she desired. In this case, the truth.

​

 

[Lossa Darcuhl]

Tags: Briana Sal-Soren
Location: Jakku Enclave, Green Room
Wearing: Traditional Robe, Echo Stone

The silence stretched, drawing a nervous shift from the Zeltron as she watched her cousin stare her down.

A lie was a lie, and even knowing the most recent troubles with the Sal-Soren's, Lossa had only realised the extent of her misstep when Briana verbally backed her into a corner. Her cousin wasn't stupid. Forgiving, more than willing to feign ignorance, but she wasn't stupid.

Her shoulders hunched, visibly flinching at the harsh tone. Her hand clenching at her robe as her lip trembled.

How to even explain what she was feeling? She'd wanted to avoid this. Had wanted to put this off for as long as possible until she maybe understood the depth of the issue. Had a solid word and even just a hint of how to fix it. Instead, finding her hand clasped around the Echo Stone.

Working it free from its hiding place in her sleeve to look into. A thing that was supposed to grow with her. Help her focus. Help her understand.

Only confusing and troubling an already burdened mind.

Holding it out for Briana to take and examine before she spoke. The crystal swirled with plain dark side influence that permeated the otherwise clear crystal.

"I'm sorry." She choked out an apology, feeling like the world around her was going to break apart with what she was about to say.

Briana only used that tone when she knew better. Had used it when speaking of Brandyn and his ordeal. Had expressed great disappointment with that tone. And now it was directed at her. A thought that centered itself at the back of her mind and festered into something it wasn't.

"On Corva Yag. The Sith. A Healer. I didn't tell everything. I didn't think." Pressing the sleeve to her eyes to catch the burgeoning tears. "It was when that, started happening. I don't even know what it is. I don't know if they messed with my head, or what they even did. I haven't. I can't figure it out. I thought. That I could figure it out with Romi but..."

Shaking with the admittance. Fearful to share that something had been plaguing her so deeply. A fear she was less than capable. That she couldn't stand on her own. That she'd always be someone's problem. All tangible along that bond they shared, the air seeming to chill as the fear began to take hold.

The dark around Lossa swirled violently. There and gone as that mental voice bent her ear once more with a single fleetting word.

Dis. a. ppointing.

Mental wounds, ones she thought had scarred over, made themselves known. Her arm curling around herself tight. Fear began morphing into desperation.

"I'm sorry."

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

Wearing: XoXo | Equipment: Lightsaber | Location: Jakku | Tag: Lossa Darcuhl​

The revelation of her encounter with the Sith on Corva Yag and the subsequent mental turmoil she'd been experiencing since then, made Briana's heart bleed and ache at every broken word she laid bare. The firm stance she'd taken moments before, melted away almost immediately, concern shading her eyes. How had she not seen this sooner? They shared a bond, a connection that was supposed to alert her to these kinds of struggles. Perhaps she'd been so wrapped up in her own challenges, in the larger problems facing them, that she'd missed the signs in one of the people closest to her.

Something that was becoming a distressingly familiar pattern.

"I... I didn't know," Briana whispered, her expression becoming the dimmed ache of a woman filled with regret.

With tentative steps she bridged the space that separated them and gently took the Echo Stone from Lossa's trembling grip, examining it closely. She knew that Echo Stones reflected one's alignment with the Force; shining white for those in tune with the light, and black or red when corrupted by the influence of the dark side. Observing the stone, the unmistakable presence of the dark side was clearly evident, causing Briana's heart to sink even further with the realization of the impact and toll it must have taken on Lossa's psyche over these last few months.

Quietly, she placed the stone aside on an adjacent table, removing it from view and thought, and rested a reassuring hand on the other woman's shoulder. "You don't need to apologize for not understanding what's happening to you, and I get why you might have felt the need to keep this to yourself. I'm sure you did what you thought was best at the time...But this is the kind of stuff that family is for, Loss. We support each other and we struggle together." She moved to embrace Lossa, carefully wrapping her arms around her as she allowed the Force to flux around them, pushing the light against the oppressive shadows shrouding her until everything that felt cold seemed to fade away, even if only temporarily.

She pulled back a fraction to look at Lossa again, pushing some of her own resolve and strength down their bond to try and bolster her. "Whatever this is, we'll figure it out. Romi trusted us to run the Enclave together, right? Obviously she thinks we work best as a team. So, we're going to do what we do best and confront it head on." she smiled slightly, "Now, tell me everything. Every detail about Corva Yag, the Sith healer...The more I know, the better I can help."

​

 

[Lossa Darcuhl]

Tags: Briana Sal-Soren
Location: Jakku Enclave, Green Room
Wearing: Traditional Robe, Echo Stone

Regret seeped through the bond between them. Words she barely caught from her closest relative and friend as she scoffed at the idea of her knowing something that Lossa had so adamantly kept locked deep within herself.

She had certainly let slip a time or two that a deeper matter was involved than what was in the moment. But easily enough it had been brushed aside. Pushed off on another worry to keep the true issue hidden until Lossa had been able to find the one she had wanted to speak with. To keep some of that gnawing worry from someone that had come to matter more than anything she could possess or hope.

But it had come to light, and in a way had been made all the worse.

"Bri. You can't..." Her whole body sagged with guilt at not only seeing the effect but feeling it between them. "I, hid it. I hid it from everyone. You couldn't know."

A plea blended with desperation as if it would smother that feeling that tinged the air.

There was no true way to rid her of that guilt. To mend the attempt at hiding besides learning and taking better strides forward. She had curled into herself, feeling ever so small once again as the stone in Bri's hand settled on the table. That hand moved to her shoulder and was met with a wobbly smile as she tried to sort out her emotions before they sent her into a spiral.

Flitting between the need to cry in her own damning shame and the want to scream in frustration before Briana expressed the purpose of family.

For both of them, it meant very different things. For her own side, family was a strained affair of filtered words and emotions that left everyone she spoke to bruised or angered in some way. For Briana, and what Lossa had been able to observe and understand through context. Even with everything going on in her life, it had been the one bastion of hope and fulfillment available even in a storm ridden world.

Briana herself always held in high esteem by her cousin as a sort of paragon to that topic. Especially with the welcome that had been made for the wayward Zeltron so readily and often.

"Sanna. She said the same. About family. And you show it. Force do you show it." The reminder that family existed well outside of just her mother and father brought a sting to her eyes as her lip quivered. Shutting them tight to keep from tearing up as Briana held her and began to push back the dark around her. A reassurance through their incidental bond that she hadn't thought of but welcomed. The tension in her shoulders and back easing finally.

Not mad. Came the mental assurance to herself as Bri took a look at her.

That push of resolve and strength giving enough to let her pull herself free of the rampant confusion brought on by the battling tides of feelings. The mention of facing things head on getting a sharp but short laugh from Lossa as she shook her head. Even through the twist of tear bright eyes and downturned smile she managed to take a jab at humor.

"You're the billy big stepper. I just stick my foot in my mouth and look pretty." Even if the humor didn't land, it made it easier to laugh. Easier to smile and wash out the fear of sharing what had happened. The shame of hiding what should have been aired out well before now and move forward instead of always glancing over her shoulder.

"Yeah. From the beginning. And what I can remember." A deep breath in with a gusty sigh out before she frowned. "I wasn't awake or... coherent for parts of it. I remember that fething gator though. Stupid lizard."