Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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The gardens(Open to everyone)

Dagos Terrek sat cross-legged in the garden as he had every day since arriving at the temple and marveled at the peace a beauty that surrounded him. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon leaving the world in haze as if it had just awoken from a dream, a light fog set over the temple grounds and the tiny noises of the nocturnal creatures native to the world could be heard, it was the definition of tranquility. But what ever tranquility could be found here in the garden could not be found in Dagos. He’d had another sleepless night here on Voss and had come to the gardens hoping he could find the peace of mind that had been eluding him for weeks but try as he might he found none, there was just too much weighing on his mind.

Dagos closed his eyes and tried to calm himself as he had been instructed to do but to no avail, his mind and heart were clouded and in conflict with one another, the decision to leave his home in the way he did troubled him, as did his short comings in his training which were most likely a result of his inability to focus properly and his frustration in that regard were clearly not helping matters. Dagos wished he had someone to turn to but he didn’t know any one here aside from his master and Caira Zee another Padawaan like himself and he hardly knew her at all and was still too ashamed to admit to his master what had drove him to leave his home with her, Dagos wished his brother were here.

Thinking of his brother hurt, he missed him more than words could ever describe. Dagos had been responsible for his brother’s death literally hours before he left the planet with his master and that knowledge was central to his emotional conflict but he saw no way of changing that and honestly he didn’t want to change it, he did, but he didn’t at the same time and that confusion was contributing to his lack of focus and sleepless nights. To Dagos how ever he didn’t deserve peace of mind not for what he did but if he wanted to succeed as a JedI he would continue to search for it.
 

Jeela Tillian

Guest
J
Jeela walked slowly into the gardens, rings around her eyes, and her brow furrowed in concern and slumped down against a tree. Then she paused and searched through the garden. There was another in turmoil here. Though whom or for what reason, she could not say. She had spent enough time travelling with Matsu that she had never really met many of the other Silver Jedi. She pursed her lips and then stood to pick her way softly through the garden.

She paused once she caught sight of the man. She had never met him before. Looks like it would be a time to meet new people. Excellent. She moved opposite him and paused,

"I hope I have not disturbed your tranquility with my passing through."

[member="Dagos Terrek"]
 
A voice broke the silence
“I hope I have not disturbed your tranquility by my passing through.”

Dagos opened his eyes to see a young woman standing across from him, she was a very pretty young lady who appeared to be around his own age maybe a few years older and she looked nearly as tired as he felt.

“Not at all. Dagos Terrek, pleased to meet you.” Dagos semi-forced a welcoming smile. he introduced himself glad to have her around as it gave him something else to focus on besides his own failings.

“I thought I would be the only one here at this hour.”

@Jeela Tillian
 

Jeela Tillian

Guest
J
[member="Dagos Terrek"]

Jeela returned his smile absentmindedly, showing a half-hearted smile and nodded her head in acknowledgement.

"I am Jeela Tillia. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." She sat down with her back to a tree, arms resting in her knees, and she shook her head,

"No, the gardens usually have at least person within them at all times." She gestured to the rising sun. "There are even more just before sunrise on most days. It is conducive to meditation and contemplation."

Or for earnest and despairing soul searching, which was what she had been doing. These gardens were the closest place she could find to home, but it still was not the bench above the ocean. Or anywhere near an ocean, really, which is what she most wanted.
 
Dagos watched as she took a seat against a tree. He could sense her unease, as far as he could tell it didn’t have anything to do with him but it rolled off of her in waves, she was as conflicted as he was.

He gave her a nervous smirk and inclined his head just slightly “It’s probably none of my business but…is something troubling you?” he didn’t want to over step his bounds after just meeting this woman but he had a feeling that their inner conflicts may have brought them together this morning.

@Jeela Tillian
 

Jeela Tillian

Guest
J
[member="Dagos Terrek"]

Jeela looked up at him, brow furrowed and considered, then shrugged. This could be of assistance in her attempt to deal with her issue. Start fixing it, anyways. She took a deep breath, "You are perceptive. In exchange for my sorrows, will you share yours? A fair exchange among comrades?"
 
Could he really expect her to share if he wasn’t willing to? No, that wouldn’t fair at all. He wouldn’t need to share everything but having some one to talk to would help him immensely.

“That sounds like a fair deal to me.” he gave her a reassuring smile or as reassuring a smile as he could muster.
 

Jeela Tillian

Guest
J
Jeela nodded and tried to figure out what she wanted to say. Or rather, how to say it. How does one explain that one is mostly indifferent to others while risking one's life to save them? It normally didn't happen. But that's what she did. Finally she just decided to blurt it out. "I am a terrible person."

That was a relief. It was good to have that off her shoulders. It didn't make sense bough. So she elaborated. "I am a callous hypocrite who preaches kindness and compassion while feeling neither."

[member="Dagos Terrek"]
 
Dagos was slightly taken aback, he had not expected the bluntness of her statement or the true heaviness behind it. He could see he relax almost as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, it was a weight that Dagos knew well. She had called him perceptive earlier but if that were true he would see some way to help her, but he didn’t know her at all and could not refute he claims with any facts, but he doubted she was as terrible as she claimed to be, people hardly ever were. Dagos sighed heavily and took a moment to think on what she said before speaking.

“Jeela, I don’t know you and you don’t know me. I don’t know what you’ve been through in your life and I doubt my words will carry much weight but if you were to ask me, I would tell you that you do feel compassion and kindness. Why else would you have come to speak to me? It was my pain as much as yours that led you to introduce yourself I think we both know that and I believe it was your kindness and your instinctual need to help others to ask about my problems more than it was for us to be even.”

Dagos paused hoping he once again didn’t over step any boundaries.

“I know what it’s like to be a terrible person.” he stopped again choked up, not sure he wanted to continue. But fair was fair. “before I came here to the temple, I got my brother killed.” tears began flowing from his eyes, he had kept the secret for weeks constantly thinking it but never saying it out loud but now that he had the emotion hit him like a rampaging reek.

@Jeela Tillian
 

Jeela Tillian

Guest
J
[member="Dagos Terrek"]

Jeela shook her head slowly. No, of course he would think so. They had never met before so he would have no idea what she had been like. The harsh words. The arrogance. Writing people off because they seemed hopeless. The shouting matches and what had, at the time, seemed like accurate ways of describing her other order that led to her banishment. Such was the way of things. And it actually had been about maintaining an even and equal relationship. She refused to lean on others. Let them lean on her. That was why she existed. But her lean on others? Never.

"I spoke, but feel nothing. It is simply the correct way of behavior for which all sentients should live by." She winced. There she went again. Then he made his confession, and she shifted uncomfortably. Emotions and tears were never things she had been comfortable with. She forced a small, half smile. "I-I am sorry." And she was, actually. That was nice to know. She could still feel things a little.
 
@Jeela Tillian

Dagos pulled himself together, he felt a wave of relief wash over him after he confessed, followed by a wave of embarrassment at his lack of control over his emotions. He forced a smile of his own.

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I put you in an awkward position. I shouldn’t have burdened you with my problems.”
 

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