Kay felt dead inside. There was no other way to describe it. Every emotion was just gone. It was as though she had died already and that her subconscious was just put into some artificial body for some reason or another by someone that just remained anonymous. Had that really happened? It was entirely plausible given the tortures that she had been put under by Sith Lords and dictators. But there was only one thing that she could think of to be the root cause and that was the sudden death of Veiere; her late husband that she had shared a Force Bond with. His death shattered her and drove her back into her PTSD. Although this time she didn't hallucinate some villain from her past.
Instead Kay wandered like a ghost, unable to feel a connection with anyone, including her adult children. As one of her friends had told her; she had exiled herself so much that everyone else had moved on, leaving her alone. It was of course, completely and utterly true. Everyone had moved on with their lives as soon as she was unlawfully liberated from Purgatory. Her subsequent capture afterwards by a dictator came entirely unnoticed. For the first time in probably her entire lifetime, she had to rescue herself. No one came, no one even knew that she was gone outside of the poor souls that literally lost their heads when she was captured. But it wasn't as though any survivors thought to relay the information about her to anyone. Instead there was silence.
To the Galaxy, Kay was dead already.
And she certainly felt it too.
There was no Force for her to draw from anymore. As she couldn't seem to feel emotions, Kay was quite certain that the Force had abandoned her too. But it wasn't as though she had used it a whole lot anyways.
There was a time when she had wanted to be a healer, or a saviour to the enslaved. But both ideas were just faded memories now. Any grasping of it now would just be nothing more than some desperate attempt to cling to her youth. Those were the days when things were good.
Now instead of leaving the Galaxy in some blaze of glory like Veiere or countless others, she wondered if she would just fade away from nothing more than heartbreak. Padmé Amidala died from that, didn't she? And she was one of the best politicians out there. Kay was a far cry from that, yet her heartbreak wasn't any different. Only she had gone past the sadness and into a state of nothingness.
That could be very dangerous.
Walking into a bar in Chasin City on Commenor, Kay was almost asking for Death to come find her. It was almost as though she dared it. Yet for the moment she just walked over to the counter, starting to ask the barkeep for some tea, yet settled on some Commenori brandy instead. If she was going to meet her fate today, at least she'd do so with a patriotic drink.
Instead Kay wandered like a ghost, unable to feel a connection with anyone, including her adult children. As one of her friends had told her; she had exiled herself so much that everyone else had moved on, leaving her alone. It was of course, completely and utterly true. Everyone had moved on with their lives as soon as she was unlawfully liberated from Purgatory. Her subsequent capture afterwards by a dictator came entirely unnoticed. For the first time in probably her entire lifetime, she had to rescue herself. No one came, no one even knew that she was gone outside of the poor souls that literally lost their heads when she was captured. But it wasn't as though any survivors thought to relay the information about her to anyone. Instead there was silence.
To the Galaxy, Kay was dead already.
And she certainly felt it too.
There was no Force for her to draw from anymore. As she couldn't seem to feel emotions, Kay was quite certain that the Force had abandoned her too. But it wasn't as though she had used it a whole lot anyways.
There was a time when she had wanted to be a healer, or a saviour to the enslaved. But both ideas were just faded memories now. Any grasping of it now would just be nothing more than some desperate attempt to cling to her youth. Those were the days when things were good.
Now instead of leaving the Galaxy in some blaze of glory like Veiere or countless others, she wondered if she would just fade away from nothing more than heartbreak. Padmé Amidala died from that, didn't she? And she was one of the best politicians out there. Kay was a far cry from that, yet her heartbreak wasn't any different. Only she had gone past the sadness and into a state of nothingness.
That could be very dangerous.
Walking into a bar in Chasin City on Commenor, Kay was almost asking for Death to come find her. It was almost as though she dared it. Yet for the moment she just walked over to the counter, starting to ask the barkeep for some tea, yet settled on some Commenori brandy instead. If she was going to meet her fate today, at least she'd do so with a patriotic drink.