Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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The Cosmos: Looking Deeper

http://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=92XVwY54h5k

So it's 2:47 in the morning and I don't sleep that much anymore, a lot of personal issues and what not but it doesn't matter. I had a thought though and I feel like it could use some touching up on. Do we use role play as a way to escape the mundane? Is it just a hobby for us writers? A way to have that power we can't have in our day to day lives? Sometimes I think that to a lot of it's more than just a game, it's a story of not just these characters in this fictional universe. But extensions of ourselves interacting, living, breathing parts of our soul. It's hard to explain so I will do my best to pry my sleep deprived brain to say what I feel.

Our characters are us in a sense, I know all of my characters are extensions of myself. [member="Rexus Drath"] is a lot like me, this morally grey and depressed person struggling to cope with the loss of someone he loved and now gaining happiness meeting and falling in love with a woman he's always cared about. Or my mando [member="Conner Garon"], this pop culture craving teenager who is forced to grow up and accept his mother is dead, he's a geek and a social outcast even in the Mandolorian military where everyone is a brother or sister. And when I was writing the character up I didn't even realize he was like me. [member="Patricia Susan Garter"] is a foul mouth republic agent and woman who loves to party and isn't afraid to cut loose, I've always been this reserved and shy person afraid of partying and having fun and going out and I think I write her because it's something that I've always been afraid to do.

And Dredge. Dredge is my darker side, all that rage and anger that I have in me. He's those nights where I was up screaming and bashing lockers, he's that hatred that I have inside me that wants to punch someone's face into dust. He has that power that I've always craved, he does what he wants when he wants and no one tells him otherwise. And I think that's a big reason why I haven't been able to kill him off or get rid of him, because if I did that it would be like killing a part of myself you know? But moving on to the point

To a lot of people here sometimes people take this role play too seriously, and I think I understand why now. Because when someone from another faction or whatever comes and starts messing with your character it's more than just words on a screen at times, it's like that person is taking a shot at a piece of you. Sometimes when I get a notification my heart skips a beat and I get so concerned about what someone is going to say to my character in this fictional world. I know it sounds silly, but I think that's just me though. But let's move on


I believe a lot of use roleplay as an escape from our normal lives. Most of us go to school or work do our nine to five or if you are [member="Popo"] you continuos loop of work that never ends. But we live these basic lives by day and do our business. But when we step into these characters, these extensions of ourselves we are always doing something exciting. We are at a black tie party with intergalactic gangsters, we are Jedi and Sith fighting a never ending battle of light and dark! We are these warriors and scholars and people we have always wanted to be, and I honestly love the fuck out of it. I go to work and log on, I'm no longer Aaron but an extension, I'm the Supreme Overlord of the Yuuzhan Vong Dredge, I'm a all these different things that all have a piece of my personality In them. It's fun, it's great and you meet a lot of great people from it. You meet some crappy ones too but that's just life.

I'm not sure if I have a point, maybe I'm too tired to or whatever I don't know. But if I did have a point, I think it would be that even though these characters might be parts of us. They aren't who we are. I'm not a mass murdering alien overlord, a lot of my characters might share traits with me but they aren't me individually. Maybe if they all fused together they would but I'd pay a dollar to see that. There's a lot of drama that happens because of our characters interacting with other characters, and we shouldn't get mad every time someone tries to crap in our Cheerios. Try not to take it so personal. Let's all just write and have fun, come together as a community and what not.

Now this part is for you Chaos. What personality traits do you share with your characters? Are they wish fulfillment or are they extensions of you? This is Aaron saying the time is now 3:30 am and I'm pretty tired. Be safe, tell good stories, and most importantly Have Fun :)
 

Jsc

Disney's Princess
I've escaped this type of relationship pretty well by using a completely OOC account. This way nobody ever confuses a personality trait of my characters with me and myself. It also allows my characters to remain just that. Characters. Yeah, it's not perfect? But I enjoy it a great deal more than speaking through an avatar.

On escapism and entertainment? I very much believe that everybody needs a hobby and that all things should come in moderation. Entertainment and daydreaming included. Haha. And I think that being a SWRP writer accomplishes a great deal of bringing out that moderate human in me. I believe that by being a half-decent RP writer? I cause a very small part of who I am to flourish and prosper. Which is something I'm proud and happy to discuss in any social situation.

Now? Have I ever taken my hobby to far? Sure. I've had those weeks. I've also Video Gamed too much, drank too much, studied too much, and drove my car too much, too. I've done a lot of things 'too much'. But when I step back and find my center. Come back down to earth or return from a long vacation. Being a writer and another goofy member of the internet is just a part of who I am. So I strive to master and nurture the best of it I can. Lol. Even at 2 am and sleepy.

To keep a long journey short, (this might get deep,) another RP writer once told me to: "...embrace all good things." And to not muddle about all the shades of grey in this life but to really seek for the brigher shades of white. To own my life and my destiny. To make the most of my hobbies and my associations. To embrace myself and live for what I believe in. To write well and often. No matter the subject.

[member="Dredge"] you might see alot of yourself in your writing and I would commend you for it. It is a sensitivity all great writers learn to possess. You're learning that everything you touch is an expression of yourself. Indeed, it is a tiny part of the potential that you hold as a human being to forge your own destiny in this life and beyond. So never, never doubt your imagination or the even the silliest of your own letters. They are a divine gift from God to guide a child towards what they might someday become. To imagine. To remember. And always remember remember. No matter how far out our stories go? They are always a reflection and a mirror. Leading our audience back to the man sitting in his chair at home, writing. Awakening a doorway into his soul.

So keep on writing [member="Dredge"]. And always remember to imagine greater. *wink* :D
 
*likes that kind of Dredge*

Anyways, your characters are so dear to you because you write them. Writing a story is putting your minds on paper on a computer screen or whatever, so it's logical that we start to feel like it's real life (exaggerated, of course).

If you looked at my characters, you could easily tell what I am like in real life, though none of my characters is an exact portrait of me. Every character has about one personality trait from me and that is because I create the characters. They are my thoughts.
 
Good post Aaaron. It's no secret that I love your characters, particularly [member="Dredge"]. Keep in mind that Dredge isn't just an outlet for you, but interacting with him also creates a terrifying enemy for others to fear and battle with. My character's interactions with him have brought out some of my best and most poignant writing on the site, and turned what could have been a boring Dominion thread into an epic horror story with so many feels. And I believe that it's because you and I didn't allow each other to hold back, and that's a hallmark of a good RP partnership. In other words, write fearlessly and rage on, my friend.

For me personally, the forums are escapism, a chance to interact with other writers, and a chance to improve my storytelling and writing all rolled into one addictive hobby. I've always been a maladaptive daydreamer so regardless of whether or not I put this stuff down on words, I'm making up stories in my head. Might as well put some of those stories to good use as entertainment for myself and others.

As for personality traits, do I put them into Cryax? I'm not sure as IRL I'm nothing like him, of course. But as Dredge may be the monster that you're afraid you might become, I believe that Cryax could be mine. He's seriously flawed, craven, in denial, a compulsive liar, paranoid, driven by emotion, foolish. He embodies not qualities I have, but qualities I fear. And those are fun to explore in the writing.

I've learned a while back to break that barrier of "caring" about my character coming out on top. Maybe it's because I like writing uncomfortable or horrific scenes. Maybe I'm a masochist or a glutton for punishment. Or maybe I just find it boring to win. I'd rather play the loser if that makes sense. The bullied kid who plots his revenge on the bullies. It's a much darker story to write, and I love playing in the darkness. Do I let it get to me when others want to kill him? Not usually, although I have to say there was one evening when over Skype I literally got four separate messages from people approaching me about betraying him or harming him in some way and I had to fight the urge to take it OOC personally. I thought that maybe as a writer, not as a character, I pissed too many people off. But ultimately I think it was just the mood I was in.

One question I get asked time after time OOC is: "If Cryax is supposed to be smart, why does he do all these stupid things?" For example, mouthing off to someone dangling him over the side of a building a hundred stories off the ground, or karking with the wrong people and then not asking for any help when they come demanding his head. And the answer is not as simple as "plot." He is smart, a brilliant slicer with an analytic mind, but he's also young and highly driven by his own emotions and that makes him very, very foolish. He's hidden himself in computers most of his adult life so he's incredibly inexperienced in social interactions with an enormous about of hubris. A bad combination for decision-making. He is usually battling his own personal wars and is too ashamed of his own mistakes to ask for help. He also has an unwavering loyalty to the Red Ravens and doesn't feel it fair to put any of them in harm's way because of his kark-ups. The irony here is that ultimately he probably will but it won't be by choice.

How does someone with so many flaws end up becoming the head of one of the biggest criminal syndicates in the Outer Rim? Put all of those flaws together with charisma, loyalty, naked ambition, and a power structure in support of him, and there you have it. This transition has been one of the most fun character arcs I have ever written my Chiss is an unlikely a leader as they come.

Sorry for rambling...it's early and I'm still on my first cup of coffee, but yeah, those are my thoughts.
 
I, honestly, only write escapism. There's a good reason I focus solely on Silara - she's me in a sort of dark and twisted way. Most people try to play out characters they wish they could be, erasing their faults, but I'm more of the depressed kind of writer, and I've found that I focus almost entirely on my faults - to a fault. I listen to sad music when sad things happen, I write best in fights after a bad day, I take on relationships that I know would hurt me, all because she's a translation of me into this world of Chaos.
 
I definitely do put a part of myself into my characters, and there are those that are easier for me to write than others. One of the characters that I've connected with the most is Keira, and I think part of it's because of what's happened to her lately in her threads. In a way she embodies a darker side of me to a degree, in that she doesn't like to talk about her feelings or anything bad that happens to her, just to spare others from having to worry too much. Of course, she has her lighter side as well, with her always having a comment for this or that and being supportive of her friends.

I guess writing for me has always been a sort of escapism, because it allows me to really get away from whatever's happening in real life and just embody a character completely. Sure, they might have their own problems, but at the end of the day it's a place to get away for awhile. Not to mention the people I've met through this site, and the friends I've made, and that's something I'm thankful for as well.

Writing has always been a hobby of mine, and this is just an extension of that. And I think we'll be seeing a lot of each other in threads, @Dredge. ;)
 

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