The Best Ideas are When Your Drunk, Sometimes

[Hazel Zanteres]

There was no mistaking the satisfied grin on Hazel's face, when the realtor seemed to finally cave and agree to sell them the property. With that see fell back (read: stumbled) to where she had been before, leaning against the wall and watched on. That look of victory and/or a job well done not fading away from the Hapan's expression.

She had little intention of butting in any further, knowing that Joza had it well in hand dealing with the paperwork side of things. Though she did let out a chuckle at Joza's continued teasing.

It left Hazel to her own thoughts, ones lingering towards further celebration in the wake of their success.

That, and she would need to get in contact with some old friends to assist in this endeavour.

-x-​

​

It was several hours later, morning had long since settled into the next day when Hazel awoke. She let out a groan as she pried her eyes open, immediately wanting to close them as a wave on nausea. But it dawned on her that her surroundings were unknown to her, and such her eyes snapped back open to try and make sense of things. And slowly they did, remembering that at some point in the night they had opted to purchase a hotel room - or suite given how expansive it seemed.

Hazel shifted a bit and realized two things, one her feet were propped up on the table in front of them. And two, a pair of pink legs were draped over hers. Hazel's eyes lingered one way, noticing that they were equally shoeless like hers. Then she looked the other way until she realized it was Joza, who was currently sprawled out across the length of the couch.

The Hapan groaned as she lifted her head off the back of it, a painful crick in her neck from how stiffly she had slept. Rubbing her eyes a bit, Hazel finally noticed the two empty bottles on the table, with a pair of datapads resting close by too - one of which she recognized as hers.

"What the chit happened last night?" She groaned, rubbing her temples to stem the inevitable hangover.

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

The Zeltron had ended their night by faceplanting into the couch, after Hazel so that her legs shifted across the other woman’s.

It had been luck that kept her from vomiting while she was out, especially so that in her current position she would have choked and died. Wouldn’t be the most graceful way to go, no.

Hazel awoke first, shifting on the couch and trying to gather herself from the aftereffects of last night. The stirring brought Joza out of her haze and she rolled over out of protest, foggy mind assuming she was in bed. Luckily, she the brief fall off of the couch was jolted her enough so that she had time to brace herself with both hands before her head collided with the floor. An over dramatic groan sounded from her throat, body sinking to the floor comically sans arms before she went through the painstaking motions of propping herself up.

Her head was pounding, gaze squinting from Hazel and over to their datapads.

“Haze, don’t yell.” She groaned again, despite the fact that the doctor’s voice wasn’t overly loud. With the hangover, everything seemed more sensitive.

“Dunno, we got drunk?” She grunted sarcastically, using her hands to drag her body forward in a pathetic demi-crawl to the coffee table. Grabbing her datapad, a few lazy swipes unlocked the device and opened up her messaging app. It was then where her face paled, irritation draining in favor of surprise.

Scroll, scroll. Double-check.

“So, we bought a hospital.”

[member="Hazel Zanteres"]

 

[Hazel Zanteres]

From the corner of her eye, Hazel had seen Joza was about to topple over the edge of the couch.

The Hapan was however too slow and sluggish in her movements, and barely got herself off the seat, arm reached out before the Zeltron hit the ground with a thud. Though thankfully Joza had managed to catch herself from falling too hard.

"I am not yelling, you are." She complained, the sudden act of trying to help sending a wave of nausea through the Hapan.

Hazel let out an equally sarcastic snort at the mention of them getting drunk.

"You don't say...the two empty bottles practically scream it." Albeit, it wasn't exactly a mystery to figure out that they had most definitely drunk a lot more than what was visible to them.

Sitting up a bit straighter, Hazel took a moment to stretch out her stiff limbs before grabbing her own datapad. It took a moment for her to access it, but when she did she was immediately bombarded by at least ten different messages all with replies from the recipients.

"I think I called up some of my contacts last night." Hazel seemed to be in her own little world as she scrolled through the different tabs, trying to discern why exactly she had gotten in contact with them. Then Joza's words finally hit her.

"Wait what! How the kark did we buy a hospital?"

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

It took a while, but the longer she was awake, the more quickly the gears started to turn and clear away the cobwebs. They needed to figure out exactly what the hell they did, so they could either fix it or plan it out in a more sober way. Hopefully too much damage hadn’t been done.

Bits and pieces started to come back to her, mostly them having fun at the bar which wasn’t anything strange, but also left no clues.

“I don’t…ugh.” Joza groaned, rubbing at her eye with the heel of her palm before sliding the whole hand up to cup the side of her face. “I’ve had plans to do the hospital thing, but not for another couple months at least. Guess I decided to jump the gun.” The Zeltron was very picky with her locations and supplies. She liked to plan things out and lay a solid foundation down. What's more is that she wasn't prepared to execute a project like this right now, and banked that Hazel didn't think she'd be spending her weekend doing this.

She glanced through most of her messages, finally stopping on one from Hector. Hector? Oh, the property guy. She was on good terms with him, but he was as picky as she was. It was probably difficult being a realtor on the smuggler’s moon, given the amount of dirty business that went down there. Joza went quite for several moments while she took the time to read, then re-read his message.

“Hazel, did I show anyone my tits last night?” Without looking up, the Zeltron asked in an inquisitive tone. “I think we may have sexily guilted a property manager into selling us the building."

[member="Hazel Zanteres"]

 

[Hazel Zanteres]

Hazel let out a frustrated groan as she reached the end of the messages she had left. Most of them were barely legible, and she was fairly certain at some point Joza had either gotten a hold of the datapad, or had managed to convince her to be more flirty.

Well as much as one could be over a text message, and being drunk as hell.

Thank the Force I didn't end up contact my parents...

That would've been truly embarrassing. Much more so than when she'd eventually have to reply back to everyone.

The Hapan made an attempt to stand up, but the moment she tried the hangover came about knocking, and instead she just slumped back down. Hazel listened to Joza as she rested her head back and just stared up at the ceiling. In the wake of the Zelton's question, Hazel's head rolled to the side to look at her, a raised eyebrow aimed towards her. The Hapan's gaze wandered off a bit, recalling the previous nights events in reverse.

A small smirk appeared.

"Nah, or at least you didn't get 'em out. I think you certainly gave him an eyefull though." She chuckled, "and I do recall the view from my angle wasn't half bad either."

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

The situation was…not ideal. It could be worse of course. Both of them were still relatively alive and intact, and no one had any missing limbs. Joza recalled one drunken night she’d woken up from missing her right arm, finding the prosthetic in a…less than desirable place.

Just to double check, she glanced over at her right shoulder to find the limb securely attached.

“Oh, good.” There wasn’t much relief in her voice. “Glad to know that they’re still useful after all that breastfeeding.” Rolling her eyes, the Zeltron pulled herself back up onto the couch and collapsed into an ungraceful heap next to Hazel. After leafing through what remained of her messages, she sighed and put down her datapad.

“I’ll start up some caf. We’re not allowed to answer any messages before we’re properly awake and caffeinated.” Force knows she wanted to start responding now and clean up any awkward drunken messes, but her bleary state would only make things worse.

She reached out to squeeze Hazel’s hand before making her way into the kitchenette and pulling some grounds out of the cabinet after rummaging around. After managing to get the machine up and running, she meandered back to the couch and reclined back, letting her body sink into the cushions. “How’s the damage on your end? Do I have to take the girls out?” She’d be lying if she claimed that her chest had never been an asset when getting out of trouble.

[member="Hazel Zanteres"]

 

[Hazel Zanteres]

"Mmm, caf sounds good right about now." Hazel murmured just loud enough to be heard. She shifted her head along the back of the couch to watch Joza as she took the moment to check her cybernetic arm.

Which was followed by an amused snort at the Zelton's statement. Momentarily re-remembering the fact Joza did in fact have a kid.

"I can agree with that." She had a similiar mindset to Joza, just wanting to get through with responding to the messages as soon as possible. But right now it would've just been a battle between a lack of drive and the ensuing headache that would come from tackling the situation.

The small squeeze of the hand seemed to keep Hazel from slipping back to sleep, and seeing Joza up and about got the Hapan to finally haul her butt. She stood up from the couch and took the time to fully stretch out her body to get rid of any lingering stiffness.

That and she fumbled about her pockets, looking for her small band; to help tie up her hair, but was unable to find it. So Hazel just resigned to leaving her hair as it was, just naturally flowing past her shoulders.

Once Joza was settled back on the couch, Hazel returned and slipped down beside the Zelton. She let out a small laugh.

"More like they'd rather see me take mine out." The Hapan let that hang for a few seconds before continuing. "But no, just some personal matters mainly. A majority of those I sent messages too are just colleagues; fellow doctors I know around the galaxy. It's the last couple I'm not looking forward to..." It almost seemed like Hazel was trying to sink further into the couch, a slightly mortified look crossing her expression as her eyes lingered towards where her datapad rested. "I uh, messaged a couple of folks from back during the university days. Let's just say, there was a reason why I never got in contact with them again."

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Joza didn’t know much about university. Hell, Joza hadn’t even completed her primary education. What remained of her highschool days were usually out back behind the building smoking deathsticks with a few other miscreants. She knew that smart people went there, and knew that certain adult films liked to advertise women of college age.

“Oh,” Joza would have winced had she been more awake, knowing full well what drunk messaging could lead to. “Was it that bad?” Hazel was an articulate professional, but alcohol certainly did loosen lips. Maybe she’d contacted old flames? Tried to reach over burned bridges? Joza didn’t know, but she hoped that whatever happened wasn’t too bad.

A series of rhythmic dings indicated that the caf was ready, which the Zeltron quickly went to retrieve. She poured them two disposable cups—that was what the hotel suite had in it, after all—and made her way back to the couch, taking a good half a minute or so to sip her drink, reveling in the rich taste of the stimulant. Actually, it wasn’t rich at all and was really cheap and sort of gross. But in this moment she didn’t care, glad to have the familiar quasi-taste of caf to help settle her out.

“One time after a show, I ended up getting hammered and messaged an ex…sort of ex. We hooked up back on Zeltros a lot while I was a kid.” She cringed at this next part, lip curling around the cup. “You ever send nudes to a guy while he’s in the delivery room as his wife is giving birth?”

Yeah, profuse apologies didn’t really patch that one up.

[member="Hazel Zanteres"]

 

[Hazel Zanteres]

Hazel shook her head slightly. Thankfully her university years had not been as crazy as her earlier studies, back when puberty had hit and things had gotten out of control really quickly. The aftermath of that had resulted in a personal stigma that had pushed the Hapan from that side of things for years. Then the incident with the Hutt had occured and it almost threw Hazel into a different pit entirely, one that she likely wouldn't have been able to climb out of.

Thankfully she did have the foresight to have some rope on hand when she did, and eventually found herself unwinding between the more arduouse times during the university years.

"Not entirely, the messages were fine...seems like even drunk me remembered to not be flirty with those in question." Hazel sucked in a breath, massaging her forehead a bit. "It's more the simply fact I contacted them, and they responded."

Hazel groaned softly, emphasising her anticipated lack of enjoyment for the situation. When Joza returned to the couch, the Hapan happily took the offered cup and immediately took a healthy sip of it. Despite the awful taste, Hazel let out a content sigh as the warm liquid settled down and that familiar buzz slowly started ticking away.

She listened to Joza's tale, her eyebrows lifting increasingly high until the end.

Hazel let out a soft whistle. "Damn." Was all she said at first, taking another sip of her caf. "That sounds like it was...ugly. Mine, or rather these two in particular are rather bland. One was particularly clingy at the time, wanting some more than simple stress relief. The other wasn't exactly chuffed we weren't exclusive."

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

“Not my worst, believe it or not.” With a sigh of mild satisfaction, she reclined on the couch and kicked her feet up onto the table. A few slow sips of caf while she digested Hazel’s words before a cringe of empathy curled her lips.

“Been there before. Never fun.” Awkward relationships weren’t really uncommon for most people, but that didn’t make them any less awkward. Force only know what kind of work Hazel had to put into those relations to end them for good, and opening that can of worms was never fun.

“Have either of them responded yet?” She craned her neck slightly as if to gesture to Hazel’s datapad rather than look—she wouldn’t be able to make out much text from her angle and distance anyhow.

For a few moments, this situation reminded her of one she’d found herself in many a time. Not recently, moreso during her teenage years when she’d wake up after a night of partying and find the messages she’d sent the night before. The morning after was usually spent sobering up and trying to do damage control. Luckily she’d grown out of being so uncouth…for the most part. Which meant no more nudie pics or bawdy messages.

Probably.

[member="Hazel Zanteres"]

 

[Hazel Zanteres]

A raised eyebrow was Hazel's reaction to the Zeltron's admission. She was admittedly curious to know what exactly Joza had done in the past that she'd consider that 'not the worst'. But instead she filed that away for another time.

The Hapan mumbled something to herself in response to Joza's question. She took several deep sips of the caf, and just relaxed into the couch. It was obvious Hazel did not want to even think about looking at those message again.

Nonetheless, she eventually pushed herself up enough to lean forwards and place her cup down, replacing it with her datapad.

Hazel already knew the answer, it was burned into mind from not minutes earlier when she had gone scrolled through aftermath of their drunk night out. But some part of her hoped that she had been seeing things, but knew well enough that she wasn't going to get off too easy with this.

"Thankfully only one of them has, but it's also little 'Miss Clingy' that replied." Hazel paused as she looked at the message again. "Don't get me wrong, it had been a lovely time and she had a wonderful ass, but that was not enough to deal with the annoyance."

She traded her datapad for her caf once again, and the moment the device hit the table the screen suddenly blipped to life briefly before fading to black a seconds later. A reply had just been sent to it.

Hazel cursed, believing her luck was that bad right now, that it was no doubt likely who had just sent a message. Her eyes fell on the datapad, then to Joza before she brought the cup to her lips and drank some more.

"Yeah, no. I am not looking at it."

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Joza let out a mock soft groan. “Ohhh clingers. Sorry to hear.” They all had that person or two who was way more into them than they should be—the Zeltron had been on both sides of the equation and neither were particularly fun. Either you were stuck pining after someone who wouldn’t pine for you, or you were trying to shake said piner.

That wasn’t a word, but whatever.

Joza nodded in understanding. “I don’t think that nicest ass in the galaxy could overcome someone who got on your nerves that much. I mean it helps, but still.” Not enough to keep them around for long anyhow.

Hazel’s datapad let out a small blip, both women looking towards it before meeting each other’s eyes.

“No?” Joza shifted on the couch, gaze flickering back towards the device on the table. She could make out the familiar message icon, but none of the text from where she was sitting. “Want me to? Maybe I can get her to back off.” A lazy smirk curled one corner of her lips given that she was joking…mostly.

[member="Hazel Zanteres"]

 

[Hazel Zanteres]

Hazel chewed on the rim of her disposable cup a bit. Deep in thought as she looked back and forth between her datapad and Joza a few times.

The offer was tempting on the simple basis that she wouldn't have to deal with it herself. But at the same time she didn't want to necessarily throw it on the Joza's plate either, even if she was confident the Zeltron would have little issue with it.

That, and Hazel was mature enough to tackle awkward situations like this herself.

Just not right now.

"Nah, I'll deal with it myself...just later." She said, taking one last sip of her caf, finally emptying the cup. "Besides we ought to tackle our current dilemma with the hospital we're supposedly meant to be building. I think it's high time we get freshened up and moving, see the damage with our own eyes."

With that, Hazel pulled herself up off the couch, her eyes lingering over to the kitchenette then the bathroom.

"You want to take the shower first? I'm thinking I need another dose of caf before I walk out of here."

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Joza threw her head back and groaned.

“Please no, this situation will actually be real one we have to do something about it.”

Rubbing her hands over her face, she sighed in admission. Hazel was right, the sooner they started the sooner they could clean up whatever mess they made. Hopefully smashed Hazel and Joza were even better at what they did while sober.

“Yeah, I need one.” She’d been smelling faintly of booze and vomit, thankfully the vomit seemed to be nowhere near here so it was considered a minor victory.

Joza lifted herself up off of the couch with a groan before trundling over to the bathroom and taking a quick shower. When she was done, the Zeltron didn’t bother to finish getting ready there, opting to let Hazel take her shower given that Joza could spend hours preening in front of a mirror. Instead she seated herself back on the couch, wrapped in a towel with her makeup back on her lap and her travel mirror propped up on the table.

“I am never drinking again.” She sighed, though mid-day margaritas might prove her wrong.

[member="Hazel Zanteres"]

 

[Hazel Zanteres]

Hazel chuckled at the moment of exasperation from the Zeltron.

She shared the sentiment of really wanting to tackle the very real situation that was on their laps. But both of them were the responsible type, and knew that trying to delay it any further was not going to do any good.

While Joza was showering, Hazel occupied herself with a getting a caf refill and summarily downing it rather quickly. The taste was still awful, but the Hapan was in it for the burst of energy it gave.

Once the bathroom was free, Hazel placed her empty cup down and made her way towards the door. grabbing her own bag as she passed it. She was about to enter when she caught Joza's comment.

"As if that's any bit true." She chuckled, having said the same thing countless times in the past and yet her she was.

Taking a similiarly quick shower, the Hapan remained within the bathroom to redo her own makeup. Though it didn't take long as Hazel didn't use much, meaning she was soon stepping out of the bathroom dressed back in last night's clothes.

"Well, I guess it's time to face the music."

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Joza finished readying herself as Hazel stepped out of the bathroom, rising to meet the other woman before giving her a once-over.

“Well, don’t we look ready to hit the town.” The comment was sly with some self-depreciating humor given that the two women still looked hungover and exhausted, albeit more put together. Though it spoke to their character given that they elected to deal with their damages quickly rather than ignore them and hope they’d take care of themselves.

Looping an arm around Hazel’s she laughed once. “Oh come now, I bet it won’t be that bad!” Inner Joza bit her lip at that and said nothing.

--

Whoever they’d contacted had worked quickly, as Hazel and Joza were now standing in front of the building they’d purchased last night, a new sign freshly erected out in front.

This time, Real Joza bit her lip as they stared at the sign in silence.

“As much as I love this, I think that we may have to change the name.” She said quietly.

‘Zanteres&Perl One Stop Medical Center for Boob Transplants’ was not the all-encompassing title that it had been last night, nor would it likely help either of them in the long run when trying to make future business deals.

Unless said business deals concerned brothels, which in Joza’s case, might be a blessing.

[member="Hazel Zanteres"]

 

[Hazel Zanteres]

Hazel's headed tilted to the side a bit, eyes blinking several times as if it would make any change at all to what she was seeing.

The Hapan was trying to shift her focus to how quickly the workers had got to refurbishing the once empty building into a medical center. Or maybe it was just the sign they had put up...

Karking damnit Hazel, stop looking at the sign!

There was a moment of silence as the Hapan mentally debated with herself.

It's not like it's just going to go away either!

Hazel closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She remained that for a few moments before opening her eyes and turning to look at Joza.

"Half of me wants to know how on earth we came to that, as our sign." Hazel paused, her eyes lingering up at the sign again before returning. "The other half really doesn't...but yes we really need to get that changed as soon as possible."

Rubbing her temple slightly, Hazel tried to remember who exactly they had contacted about it, but she was drawing up a blank. Whether that was because she had forgotten, or Joza had been the one that had organized it.

"Well, let's see what the interior looks like."

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

“Already on it.” Despite being partially amused, there were notes of frustration lining the Zeltron’s face as she tapped at her datapad like a madwoman. Whoever let them name this sign while they were clearly inebriated had a certain sense of humor.

She paused before looking up to Hazel with inquiring eyes. “Can you actually do something like that? A boob transplant? I know you can do implants and reduction, but like…they’re not organs or something.” This was bordering on the fuzzy edges of Joza’s knowledge concerning medical issues. She was a pretty good emergency medic all things considered but the realm of surgery and titty transplants was all dry reading for her.

Staring up at the building blankly, Joza found that she was a little hesitant to go inside. “Right, let’s get this over with.” She almost held her breath on reflex as they stepped through the doors to find…

…a surprisingly normal interior. It was bare bones all things considered as certain parts of the interior were being remodeled to suit the needs of the hospital but overall things looked ordinary.

“Good news, Hazel. We’re not total failures.” Obvious dry humor there.

[member="Hazel Zanteres"]

 

[Hazel Zanteres]

"Certainly not where I worked or learned, but there's probably a few folks out in the galaxy crazy enough to do it." Hazel shrugged, it was a possibility but you'd be hard pressed to find someone legit who'd do it or even those that desired it, and it certainly wouldn't be at an actual hospital or clinic. Though that was saying nothing for the less reputable people across the galaxy.

With a small nod Hazel followed Joza through the doors into the building itself.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but was pleasantly surprised to find it was normal; a typical interior with an albeit lack of certain specifics as the construction still remained underway.

There were a few signs here and there of the work being left for the night, to be resumed when the workers returned. And it would be just their luck of they ended up showing up while the pair were present.

Hazel gave the Zeltron a sideways glance, a grin on her face.

"I think it's a due reason to celeberate, perhaps a few drinks?" She matched the dry humour with her own. Neither of them needed any more alcohol after last night.

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Joza Perl]

Probably something black market. Though she doubted organic breasts would really…well, there were some strange fetishes out there. Organs were probably in higher demand, but with how far synthetics could reach these days, procuring living tissues probably wasn’t much of an issue.

“It’s probably something you’d see in one of those practices they offer two for one deals on.” She snorted, recalling seeing a similar ad in some sort of circular.

At the mention of drinks, her brows rose above her bangs.

“Isn’t that how we got into this mess?” She joked, but she wasn’t backing down. It was drinks after all, and she didn’t have any important meetings today. “You do know the way to my heart, Haze.” She fluttered her lashes, giving the other woman goo-goo eyes for a moment.

[member="Hazel Zanteres"]