The Annual Review: A 2nd Year Retrospective

[Robogeber]

I preempted this by a few hours, I must confess, but it is but the date on the clock which matters, no? Officially it's another year gone by, and round about six months since my last request for critique, and I'd like to think I've changed a bit since then. Both in terms of characters, and how I write.

So, ultimately, I want to ask you Chaos, the unwashed masses, your thoughts on my characters. Who they are, where they're going, what they do, and how they're doing. But no critique would be quite finished unless there was some discussion about me as a writer, and how that too has evolved since the last time. Would love to hear some thoughts, opinions and what have you about these subjects whether we've written together, or are strangers who've stumbled upon and wish to opine on my work. Please, indulge me.

It's been an absolute cracker of a year, here's to another!

 

[Not Ordo]

[member="Robogeber"]

You write some really engaging post, you've always been easy for me to discuss things with and that time you thought I was new, you were incredibly helpful and down right nice. Overall, you're a good man, Charlie Brown.

 

[Gilamar Skirata]

why are you still a droid.

 

[Natasi Fortan]

why are you still a droid.

This man asks the important questions.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Robogeber"]
I've not interacted much with you IC, but I feel that OOC'ly you come across as quite brash and abrasive to those outside the FO. I've heard several reports or concerns where you have been less 'helpful' than I'd expect from a member.

I just chalk most of this up to reinforcing and including my stereotypes about Queenslanders though, so perhaps I'm overreacting.

 

[Jsc]

Coolest robot space nazi I know.

 

[Gilamar Skirata]

But really. I understand not wanting to let a character go, but grand admiral of the FO as....a droid? Also echoing Val on your OOC reputation. Its been that way almost since you've arrived and its only gotten worse. It makes me fear for your faction...Almost more than a droid running its navy.

 

[Robogeber]

But really. I understand not wanting to let a character go, but grand admiral of the FO as....a droid?

For all the problems the most recent Star Wars Battlefront 2 had, and it had a lot, one thing it did well was marketing. And the trailer, this one here, x, which showed off Operation Cinder, and a cutscene from the single player campaign made my muse strong. Carlyle has always been a man with delusions of grandeur, so I wanted to explore what would happen if he were to die? If it were to all go tits up prematurely. What would be the next step of any plan to secure a legacy?

Now, the reason is sort of simple. Battlefront 2 captured my interest for one, but at that juncture Carlyle had become boring and dull to write. And I wanted to expand somewhat, and test my horizons. See if I could write a simulation of a dead narcissist. Ergo, I killed him off. But as per your second question;

why are you still a droid.

I simply enjoy him like this. I think he's an interesting character to write in this phase of life. People may disagree, and of course they are entitled to do so, what people find entertaining is subjective. But I quite like him. There'll come a time when he returns to flesh, don't you worry. I already have an arc somewhat planned for this. But I just haven't had the time nor the place to elaborate on it. Invasions and work sap too much of my time.

But, it would be disingenuous not to engage the other forms of criticism in regards to my OOC behaviour.

I've not interacted much with you IC, but I feel that OOC'ly you come across as quite brash and abrasive to those outside the FO. I've heard several reports or concerns where you have been less 'helpful' than I'd expect from a member.

Its been that way almost since you've arrived and its only gotten worse. It makes me fear for your faction...Almost more than a droid running its navy.

People talk, and people say all sorts of things about other people. Chaos is a very tribal site. I suppose that is what happens when people compete consistently for what is, at least in the context of this hobby, important. So, on one hand, I'd like to say that that would be the case. That some of the things and the whole attitude business comes from the banter and sort of rivalries which crop up.

But it would totally wrong to say that I haven't been a right pain in my own right. I've said some very bad things to some people over the past two years. A lot of it, I regret on a personal level. You never go anywhere to deliberately make enemies, or try to ruin someones day. But sometimes, you wake up on the bad side of bed. You get a PM at the wrong time, and you lose your cool cos you don't like the things people have said. And that, that totally blows, and if I had my time again, I'd try to fix things up. I'd like to think in the last couple of months, I've improved. But honestly, who knows, and who is to ultimately judge.

Not that, that at all absolves me of anything at all really. But, if anyone I have at all made mad, insulted, pissed off, etc, is reading. I'd like to apologise. Cos honestly, life's too short to get super butthurt about a Star Wars fanfiction site.

 

[Jada Raxis]

[member="Robogeber"]

We had our differences once upon a time. I do agree sometimes you can be abrasive, but on the other side of that coin so can I and everyone else at times. I like your char concept, and that you for the most part are doing some serious writing now and less joke characters.

I've enjoyed writing against you as Silara Varis twice now in different invasions, though one thing I'd like to see you work on is acknowledging everyone's posts rather than just a few. Not sure if this was oversight or what, but that's what I'm chalking it up to for the benefit of the doubt.

Also maybe lose more ships while fleeting?

Still excellent writer, just need a little tweaking in the OOC Department. I was the same way as RC 212 and pissed off a lot of folks. Room to grow, but you're doing good. I like.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Also maybe lose more ships while fleeting?

This is certainly not a sin present in any one writer. I think all fleeters including me expect a lot from our opponents but don't really apply that to the our side. Everyone could stand to lose more ships, but then how would we claim our admirals are supreme war geniuses?

[member="Robogeber"]

I think the important thing is that you recognise the problem and are trying to fix it. I've heard less complaints lately so I think you're on the right track. Keep it up.

 

[Madelyn Lowe]

Originally I was only here to lurk, but I would like to offer you my critique as both a member of the faction and from an administration perspective.

Starting with the negatives first, I am often alarmed by how you present yourself to other factions. As someone who is a high-profile member of the First Order faction, it's your responsibility to conduct yourself as a role model. New members are attracted to us by word of mouth, and unfortunately, I find that more often than not you represent the members of our faction poorly. I know you've changed, and corrected much of your previous behaviour, but it is still an issue.

A second issue that I've noticed is you are often unwilling to sacrifice your story direction for the sake of other writers, which in several cases has lead to too-rigid storylines and conflicts between you and other members. I think you could try to be a little more open to others ideas, even if you have a specific vision for a story.

As for your character, I think Carlyle is an interesting character, and by far he is of all your characters the one with the most effective narrative voice. His mannerisms and actions are consistent and logical, and despite his artificial form it makes him a believable and entertaining read. My only critique is that he is so often doing the same things with the same circle of player characters. The First Order has a problem with writing in cliques, and I think it would be good for you to branch out from time to time, whether with Carlyle or other characters.

In conclusion, I appreciate the work you have put into our faction's lore and resources, particularly in the factory. I admire your dedication to the First Order, and it is clear to me that you care more than most about the goings-on in the faction. However, your behaviour still needs improvement and you could do with writing a little further outside the box (which is rich coming from me I know.)

All in all, I value you as a member and I'm glad you're a part of the faction.

 

[Armand Temi]

While I understand the behavior of a writer does factor into a feedback thread, criticisms of Carlye’s personality is overshadowing constructive feedback on his writing.

So I will attempt to bring it back to the topic at hand. How is Carlyle as a writer?

The positives - your characterizations are extremely interesting, and there’s always something engaging and descriptive within your posts. You have a solid grasp of laying out a story from beginning to end and also being able to throw in those important plot twists. As someone who has written often with you, I have never been bored or frustrated. You write, not only your main characters well, but the NPCs and setting. Finally your posts are humorous, and that’s not the easiest nuance to write.

Room for improvement - at times, your character’s story does tend to overshadow the main narrative. You write combat and action well, but that seems to be a place in which you stay. I’d love to see you break out and write more interpersonal stories or even try to get out of your comfort zone - like writing a woman or an alien.

I haven’t had the negative experiences that others have had with your personality, and I look forward to writing more stories with you!

[member="Robogeber"]

 

[Rick Kaloo]

Remember Hoth!

But seriously, you do owe me two frigates.

I've been offline for a year and a half now, just got back yesterday. But looking back at your posts between that time, I don't see much that needs to be improved. You've always been a great fleeter and a thoughtful writer, keep it up!

Only one suggestion - Sometimes your char's story gets mixed up with his actions and makes it a little confusing to read clearly. Making a little bit more of a barrier between the story and action would help clarify things a little bit.

[member="Robogeber"]

 

[Varian Alaric]

[member="Robogeber"]
While I don't know you that well, nor have I talked with you that much...I would say that you're a very pleasant and funny person to talk to, at least with my sense of humor that is!

RP wise, you're an extremely great rper and I love the idea of a dead admiral being resurrected in the form of a droid body to further his work and his life in the navy, although artificial now. Every post of your's I have read out-stands me and reads like a short excerpt from a novel. I remember when I first joined the First Order and you were one of the few people I first interacted with, though mostly in DM's. You were a great help in getting me to put myself out there more in the First Order and you helped me to further explore my ability as writer and roleplayer on this site and in my own personal work. I'll admit, when I first started rping in the First Order I used to try and mimic your posts because I enjoyed them so much. I love the amount of detail you put into each post!

As for what to improve upon...I'm not really sure. Sometimes I feel you focus more on the current situation than more personal, character feelings and ideas. You can do a lot with a robotic admiral and explore many diffrent avenues of rp that you otherwise wouldn't as a fleshy organic character. I would't say this is a criticism, but more of some advice as to how to add more depth to your character. I know that I myself still need to work on stuff like that, and I would encourage you to do so as well!