Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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 Sword of the Jedi Opens his Heart to Getting Trashed

Major Faction

Ryv

Paragon of Sacrifice
We're about four months deep into Ryv's life on Chaos, and I feel like I've had plenty of opportunities to develop this character thoroughly. He's leagues beyond where he started in some ways, but still struggling with faults/weaknesses that have plagued him since day one. Ryv is probably my favorite character I've written here on Chaos. I'm proud of the stories I've been able to tell with him, primarily when they've managed to impact characters beyond just himself. I'd love it if you folks who've written with him or have followed his writing took this opportunity to give me your feedback on the character and how well I can portray him. Keep it constructive, obviously, but I'm not going to get upset if you genuinely don't like the character and want to express it. I appreciate anything you all throw my way.

The Boy
 
I enjoy reading little bits and pieces whenever I get a tag in a thread I'm not actually a part of, partially because I don't normally go out and read other people's threads unless I'm invited to (generally I just don't know they exist) and partially because I see how often past events turn up again as something that has impacted Ryv Ryv 's story and character development. While I am sure a lot of people on the board change how their character is written based on previous events, usually past stuff isn't referenced quite nearly as well or as often as I've seen with him.
 
The Boy. Absolute raw protagonist energy and easily one of the more compelling Jedi characters on the site so far as I've interacted with him. Always getting involved in everything Ryv has a ton of mileage for just under <300 posts and it shows. Obviously I'm more privy than most as to Ryv's development than most everyone else on the board but even still, its awesome to see the character noticably change and grow from past events just as Hailyn Hailyn said, for the better or worse of the character.

He's a very human character, he has a ton of flaws and you don't shy away from exploiting them on the character whenever possible which of course is a lot more entertaining to read than the standard template gud jedi or evil sith. The fun is always in the grey area and the nuance in between and Ryv shows that in stride. As far as variation to the writing you do as the character, there isn't many boxes left unchecked. We see him in action and in rest in a balance that'd make sense for any SWORD OF THE JEDI and its always a meaningful interaction. There isn't any glaring flaws I can point out with the boy aside from maybe that he doesn't have to do ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING in order to be a great character. One of the few characters I'll go out of my way to read Ryveting content from. Keep up the good work brother you know I'll be reading that HEAT the second you put it up.
 
Ryv has been a breath of fresh air to read and to interact with. He deals with his past, and it only makes him stronger. He reads like someone that you would know and care for. What I love the most about Ryv is that he is super human when he's having fun, you're having fun, when he's sad you're sad, when he's celebrating a triumph, you're right there with him - uplifting him. He's the character you want to see win and overcome whatever is thrown at him. Its been a great experience even though it's short, and I look forward to exploring all the things that make Ryv up as a character.

He's in good hands with you as a writer, and Ryv is up there for one of my favorite characters that I enjoy reading. Thank you for bringing him to life :)
 
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Khagan Harrow

Guest
K
It's been an absolute joy reading Ryv's story of going from a barely recovered spice addict to a paragon of the Light as the Sword of the Jedi. Starting out on Peace as the unofficial administrative assistant to Wyatt who went around taking care of all manner of tasks while simultaneously putting out any and all fires to shouldering the entirety of the Jedi's war effort against not just the Bryn'adul but now also the Sith. Ryv has always been a character who was defined by his intense sense of empathy and compassion to me, always willing to do what others were too afraid or perhaps too prideful to do, no matter his own reservations on the matter, perpetually accented by the incredibly human touch you bring to the character. From the abundantly casual way he speaks to his willingness to always crack a joke and approach anyone as a person, no matter their station or rank, make him feel like a very fresh take on a Jedi, who tend to be too obsessed with attaining or preaching their moral high ground or too aloof to become relatable characters.

Watching him develop has been really great, as already mentioned. His journey from a spice addicted kid s too angry at his late father who died fulfilling his duty as a Jedi to a man who comes to admire his dad for precisely that reason and eventually ends up surpassing all expectations by becoming the Sword of the Jedi makes for a very compelling arc. The first signs of how well he fits that role can be seen quite early on in his development, I feel. He started becoming the emotional centre, the heart, of the Jedi immediately surrounding him very early on. A rubber band that always pulled the group back together and returned their focus on the most important tasks at hand. The early period is the part where I got the opportunity to interact with the character the most and it was always fun to do so. The intense empathy he shows towards other characters makes him a very engaging character to interact with and makes for great posts to build off of. The brief descriptions you always put into Ryv posts about his emotional reactions to other characters, beyond the most basic logical action responses, always lends the reader a good gauge of how much he cares for other people. An example that comes to mind of this is the specific instance of him just sitting back and enjoying the company of his fellow padawan aboard Peace when they assembled to take care of some basic chores for the first time. Moments like these make me want to read his story over that of other Jedi who are too busy expositing their righteousness and moral high ground.

The character's strengths also come almost entirely from his weaknesses, of which there are so many. Rather than stacking excellence in all manner of Lightsabre fields, an incredible intellect, and all manner of Force Powers, you weren't afraid of writing a kid who was almost powerless in many of the situations he found himself in, with only his street smarts and his wit to protect him from ancient Sith Lords who butchered billions if not trillions. The opportunity for growth this presented the character made him stand out above many others and has come to persuade quite a few writers to take a similar approach with their characters. Writing power fantasies is satisfying, but only for their writers. They leave so little room for the reader to connect with that it makes them a chore to read. Ryv, however, has many flaws. He fails, he takes hits, both physical and emotional, but he never lets those failures define him. He grows beyond them and becomes a better person for it. That's what makes him such an absolute joy to read and his story so compelling to follow for people other than you. I'd take a single Ryv over a thousand power fantasies any day.

This text is getting way too long and I'm starting to feel guilty about throwing all my thoughts at the wall, so to conclude I'd like to appropriate a wise savant of our age's words: "its weird how some people sleep differently, I sleep on my back, my mom sleeps on her side, and y'all sleep on Ryv"
 
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Coming in late to the party, I gotta say - I never would've guessed Ryv used to be a crackhead.

I see that you have taken things slow and steady, that's always excellent to see. You are not a lazy writer, you will go far.

The one thing I can think to say is, I don't know if you've written Ryv's dazzling rise from the depths to greatness as having any real downsides. Although since I hear he and Auteme are kaputt, maybe that could work. I'm not saying you have to start unwinding him now that he's reached the top, buuuut I wanna see him get shaken up, or maybe even bring about his own downfall because of his deeply rooted flaws. And that boy has got some deeply rooted flaws, man.

Oh, and don't use that post template where it has the dark green lines going through the background - it hurts my eyes. Anything with lines makes me think I'm looking at an optical illusion. Your writing may be magical, but that's because you work hard at it - it ain't no trick.

Ryv Ryv
 
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