Private Sunshine, Freedom, and a Little Flower

[R'Ruug]

Jedi Temple, Room of a Thousand Fountains
Coruscant
​

This was R'Ruug's favorite place in the Temple, he'd decided.

The Room of a Thousand Fountains was so large, R'Ruug could barely tell it was a room at all. It was like a rainforest, packed with burbling water features, flowering buds, majestic trees, and a thousand other plants the Whiphid didn't have a name for. Even the air felt heavy, full of life, smelling of flowers and earthy mulch. For the first hour of traveling it, all he could do was pause and stare at... well, everything. But eventually, he found a spot on soft, spongy grass, sat down, and extended his senses.

A small butterfly with wide, beautiful wings, perched on his nose R'Ruug had to cross his eyes to see it, chuckling a little. Another found his shoulder. Then another.

After a few minutes of quiet contemplation, a dozen small, multicolored insects had found resting spots on the Whiphid, beating their wings in a gentle cadence as they clung to his fur. He spoke to them through the Force, a hidden conversation held between the massive farmer, and the fragile little butterfly on his clawed finger.

- Rayia Si -

 

[Rayia Si]

R'Ruug
Location: Room of A Thousand Fountains, Jedi Temple, Coruscant

---

For Rayia, the Room of A Thousand Fountains presented an opportunity to think through her problems. She had been there since this morning, spiraling around a whirlpool of an issue that threatened to drag her down into the depths. 'I suppose I feel a kinship to the plants here. Like wild flowers in a gilded cage,' she thought to herself. Even still, she had to say that this was likely her favorite place on all of Coruscant. She made it a point of visiting whenever she came to the hub of the Galactic Alliance. Rayia could feel the faux-sunlight infusing her body with warmth, as dappled light peeked through the trees and plants. It seemed to dance in the clearings and create mesmerizing patterns in the swaying grasses. The vibrancy of life in this small capsule of the wilds reminded Rayia of home. Of running through the wild plains of Weik, or climbing in the dense forests of Vossport and Cathar. 'Or homes, I should say,' she thought and felt a brief tinge of regret at the thought of the latter. 'I wonder what the others will think of me. Now that they know...' Rayia thought, 'Will they let me return? And live amongst them on the Reaper, in the branches of the City Tree?'

Rayia was startled out of her thoughts when she felt someone else enter the room. Her tail bristled as it detected the vibration of motion coming from the large individual currently trawling the premises. She could detect a scent of fresh earth and fresh rain wafting from them. 'The farmers on Weik had similar scents,' Rayia thought to herself. The fur on her tail rippled, picking up each vibration as the large individual finished his rounds and took a seat on the soft grass. Curious now, Rayia crept closer silently across the grass. She had a lifetime of experience as a huntress, and the feeling of stalking her prey through the shrubbery came inherently to her. Rayia paused behind one of the large trees at the border of the clearing, taking in the snout of the Whiphid, the ivory tusks, the blond, shaggy mane. He was clearly a hunter of his own kind as well. Perhaps the most amazing thing was that he displayed a gentleness as a flock of butterflies found a resting spot atop him.

Rayia took in the quiet, rhythmic beating of wings as the multicolored butterflies found a pattern. Even without her Force senses, back just a few months ago when she was just a simple Felacatian huntress helping those on Weik, Rayia would have been able to tell that something deeply mystical was happening. Rayia slunk out from around the tree until she was near the Whiphid's side. She quietly whispered. "You know, on my world, we say that butterflies carry messages of the wind. That they hear everything and act as necessary messengers to the veil beyond. Are they whispering to you now?"

 

[R'Ruug]

It felt good, to talk to beasts like this again.

He sat hunched over, a finger stretched out in front of his long bestial face, his lips moving though they made no sound. The butterflies perched on him flashed their wings in slow, dizzy patterns, the one resting on his claw facing his face. There was no concern, no fear, no secrets, no judgement... just connection.

At least, until he was startled by a sudden noise.

With the sound of someone's voice, the Whiphid accidentally broke the connection, the flock of insects taking to the air, and swirling around the clearing. The only butterfly that didn't abandon him was the one on his nose. It continued it's lazy flapping, as R'Ruug turned to face the stranger. He calmed, and so too did the swarm, which relighted on his form, making a home out of his golden mane.

"You know, on my world, we say that butterflies carry messages of the wind. That they hear everything and act as necessary messengers to the veil beyond. Are they whispering to you now?"

R'Ruug blinked, fidgeting his claws against each other. "Um... yes. I guess." His words were slow, and unsure. Perhaps partially out of nervousness, but mostly due to disuse. "They just talk about flowers, mostly."

R'Ruug stood up slowly, face a little guilty, as he gave the Felacatian a deferential bow. "My name is R'Ruug, Ma'am." The butterflies seemed to pick up on the tall farmhand's unease, rising from their rest to flit around his head. He didn't like appearing... unproductive.

- Rayia Si -

 

[Rayia Si]

R'Ruug

---

Rayia winced as she saw the Whiphid jump with surprise. A rush of conflicting emotions flowed through her: pride at having retained her skills as a huntress for moving without being detected, and embarrassment for having clearly startled her fellow Paladin. This only compounded as the connection the Whiphid had with the insects vanished and they took to the sky. Rayia's glimmering, golden eyes grew wide with the whirlwind of colors hovering just outside her reach. Her tail bristled with the vibration of a small horde of movements. Rayia's ear twitched frenetically, and a faint shiver ran over her frame. Her hands tightened and relaxed repeatedly, as she resisted the urge to attempt to catch the butterflies flying around her.

Instead, she affixed her gaze to the man in front of her, settling her gaze on the solitary butterfly that hadn't fled with the rest. A lazy smirk curled aross her face, full of sharp, gleaming teeth. "Looks like you made friends with a messenger, R'rung," she said, indicating the butterfly with a tilt of her head. She hoped an easing into conversation might help with R'Rung's nerves. His anxiety was provoking her feline instincts, in the same way that a cat toys with their prey.

"Flowers, hmm? I suppose they would." Rayia says studying them. R'Rung's response to her caused her to burst into soft snickering. Rayia had been raised in the Feral Queen's tribe on Weik. Though she was effectively royalty to the tribe, with her in a position of potentially succeeding her mother, such a hierarchy didn't really exist. 'Because we realized we could not do this alone. We all needed each other to hunt and survive the plains of Weik,' But Rayia was familiar with the concept of caste differences. She had run away to Vossport after all.

The central city on the continent had placed a basis of value on the skills one performed. People such as Apothecaries or Engineers were valued quite highly because they were rare on Weik. The apprenticeships were extremely competitive and few people ever received the proper tutelage for such esteemed positions. 'Rayia, snap out of it. Don't let him think you're laughing at him,' she chided herself. She stifled her laughter and raised an appealing hand. "Please forgive me. I am not laughing at you. I was just a mere blacksmith's apprentice before I arrived here, so I never thought I would hear myself referred to as Ma'am," Rayia explained before continuing with a smile, "My name is Rayia. What brings you to this place?"

 

[R'Ruug]

R'Ruug's eyes crossed as he stared at the butterfly, alighted carefully on his nose. "I guess so," he said, bringing up a hand to coax the insect to his finger. It crawled on, and the gentle giant observed it with an appreciative eye. It was very pretty.

The Whiphid's long face obviously fell as he heard the stranger laugh at him. He was brought back to the farm for a moment, could imagine the faces of his employer's sons as they taunted him for not knowing something. His eyes traveled to the ground...

"Please forgive me. I am not laughing at you. I was just a mere blacksmith's apprentice before I arrived here, so I never thought I would hear myself referred to as Ma'am."

"Oh." R'Ruug turned his molten gold eyes on the cat-like being, studying her with the same curious appreciation as he had the butterfly. "Sorry. Miss." He nodded slowly, as if it was the most obvious correction in the world.

"I was a farmhand," he said, finding a smile. Their former jobs were kind of similar, weren't they? "This room reminds me of home. A little. And there are animals." He tapped the tips of his claws together sheepishly. "I am not used to the city yet."

"Are you... a Jedi, Miss Rayia? Like... like me?" R'Ruug almost felt like he was lying, calling himself a Jedi. He certainly didn't feel like a Jedi yet.

- Rayia Si -

 

[Rayia Si]

R'Ruug
Location: Room of A Thousand Fountains, Jedi Temple, Coruscant

---

Rayia grinned again as she saw R'rung cross his eyes and coax the butterfly to his finger. His deftness with the miniscule insect was impressive, especially considering how nervous the rest of the kaleidoscope of butterflies were. Clearly his bond to this particular butterfly ran deeper than most, or... Rayia studied the butterfly contemplatively. 'Perhaps it is more adventurous than the others. Or perhaps it's touched in the same way that R'rung and I are,' she thought. After all, who was to say that butterflies could not be more or less potent with the force. 'According to the lessons, the force does run in all living things,' Rayia recalled.

She winced as she saw that R'rung was lowering his gaze towards the ground. 'So he did take it as me mocking him,' she concluded glad when her explanation seemed to smooth over whatever misunderstanding there was. 'I can't say I blame him. I do understand the feeling of being judged,' Rayia thought to herself. While she had no way of knowing the particulars of the Whiphid's history with prejudice, the fear of being judged had plagued her during her training. It had never entirely gone away either. She still felt so different when compared to other Paladins here. Different in beliefs, in cultures, in dress. Even after she adapted, she still felt the odd one out. She couldn't even escape the sensation in her dreams. She would have occasional nightmares of phantom gazes following her. 'Like an itch on my nape that causes my hair to rise. And that was before this... incident on Ukatis,' she thought, finding her trail of thought interrupted by R'rung's question.

This time it was Rayia's turn for her expression to fall. Her lips settled into a forlorn smile, masking her fangs under pursed lips. Did she think she was a Jedi? Did she dare claim that mantle yet? 'No, I'm not ready yet. I am just a kit, pretending to understand. No Paladin would hide who they are... or let it lash out in a manner such as I did,' Rayia thought.

An old memory surfaced of her mother telling her that exact thing. When she had turned ten, she had rushed to the tribe's Great Tent and requested to lead a hunt on her own. Her mother had refused and Rayia had felt dejected and angry. Angry that her mother thought of her as a burden. In a rare moment of public affection, her mother had actually knelt down and wiped away Rayia's tears with a soft, but firmly insistent hand. Her gravelly, melodic voice whispered to Rayia now. "No Rayia, I do not deny you because you are a burden. I deny you because you do not understand the import of the hunt. You must grow first," it said.

'It is the same way now. I must grow into the mantle,' Rayia thought and answered R'rung's question. Her mane of hair swayed from side to side as she shook her head, "No, I am not. But I am trying hard to be one," she said. Then she motioned to the room around her and said, "I come here to think sometimes. When I need to work through a problem. It reminds me of home too.”

 

[R'Ruug]

"No, I am not. But I am trying hard to be one."

R'Ruug made a low uneasy sound in his throat. "I thought that... if we are here, and learning, then we are Jedi...?" He always had difficulty reading faces, but he could see some kind of kinship in Rayia as she explored her memories. Maybe she had her own Mr. Olivant.

"Well... do you have a problem, Miss Rayia?" She'd mentioned she comes here to think things out. "Maybe I can help. I am not very good at thinking, or words, or letters, but I can work, and lift heavy things."

Maybe her problem was a couch?

Or... a heavy rock...?

- Rayia Si -

 

[Rayia Si]

R'Ruug

---

Rayia's smile grew even more somber. "Yes, yes of course. Please ignore me. It's simply the mood I find myself in," she said. How could she even begin to explain her thoughts about the subject? To judge whether or not she was worthy was something that only she herself could do after all. 'It's very telling. His uneasiness. He must have had some sort of similar thoughts at some point,' Rayia concluded, studying the Whiphid's response to her crisis of the faith so to speak. 'It also says a lot about him that he offered to help,' she thought. One of her ears twitched momentarily, lending her a curious air. 'It couldn't hurt... could it? It's not like I've made much progress on my own,' Rayia thought and shrugged in response. "Why not? Maybe you'll be able to see something I couldn't." She said.

Rayia took a seat before the Whiphid, relaxing onto the soft, lush grass that encompassed this section of the Room of A Thousand Fountains. She could feel the myriad blades of grass tickling her legs, providing a welcome distraction if only briefly. The short Felacatian was dwarfed by the Whiphid, lending her more appreciation for his respect of even the smallest insects. 'He seems to be in tune with the beasts around him. Maybe he might have some insight on reaching my other half,' She thought, and nervously smoothed the front of her leather vest and pants with her palms. The smooth surface of the leather helped calm her nerves and provided something for her claws to bite into as she balled them into fists on her knees. Rayia took a few shaky breaths before she started.

"W-well. Let me see how I can explain this," Rayia said, wincing at the quaver in her voice. "I have another side to me. A side that I've been hiding from others because I've been afraid that it might hurt them. Or how they'd react to it. On Ukatis, they found out. And now I'm not sure what to do."

 

[R'Ruug]

R'Ruug sat back down in the grass as Rayia did, letting out a deep sigh. Some of the butterflies on his form flitted away, on the hunt for nectar, but in their place, a striped caterpillar had found it's way on his robe. R'Ruug let it crawl up his hand passively, devoting most of his attention to the feline Jedi before him.

Something was clearly upsetting his fellow padawan, the Whiphid could tell that much from her nervous motions. He had the same tics, a need to use his hands when he didn't know what else to do. Whenever he felt nervous back on the farm, he leaned on the quiet presence of the herd for strength. He tried to be that calming force for her, sitting still and sure.

"I have another side to me. A side that I've been hiding from others because I've been afraid that it might hurt them. Or how they'd react to it. On Ukatis, they found out. And now I'm not sure what to do."

R'Ruug frowned, saying a line he'd repeated all too often ever since arriving at the temple. "I do not understand."

"Ukatis... is a planet..." He'd gotten that much from context clues. But the rest was proving difficult to puzzle. "What other side do you have? Why will it hurt others?"

- Rayia Si -

 

[Rayia Si]

R'Ruug

---

Rayia scratched her head awkwardly. 'I'm not doing a great job of explaining this, am I?' She thought to herself, seeing the visible confusion on R'rung's face. She felt a flush of embarrassment slowly creeping up her spine. 'You asked for his help and you can't even articulate the problem?' she chided herself, despite knowing that the problem was rather complex. How could she expect any non-Felacatian to truly understand? And even then, other Felacatians had better control of the beast within than she did.

"...Let me try again," Rayia started to say as the Whiphid's body language and statement revealed his clear confusion. One of her ears twitched slightly as she sucked in a deep calming breath. Rayia had seen R'rung stilling his nervous movements and adopting an aura of calm patience for her. She appreciated the gesture. It helped soothe her nerves some. 'He must have some sort of practice at this sort of thing,' Rayia thought to herself. A sense of tension had settled in ever since her secret had been revealed. Rayia felt as if her whole body, her hopes and dreams were stretched taut over a wire. Just waiting for the final piece to be plucked from her, the wire to snap, and everything she was to be cast away from her.

'Stop melodramatizing and get on with explaining already,' she thought, coughing slightly as she folded her hands together. Her clawed fingers tapped against each other nervously, before Rayia smoothed her palms out over the grass again. "Ukatis is a planet yes. One of the recent ones to be caught in the conflict against the Enclave. I was there, fighting to defend the people. It is also... where my secret was revealed. That secret is that my people have two sides... you may think of it as having two unique forms, two souls if you like," Rayia explained.

Making a motion with her hand to encompass herself, she continued, "...There is this one you can see. And there is the beast within which protects us from stress. To make a long story short, I was never trained to attune with the beast within. I had to flee home before I learned such a thing. Which means my beast is wild, impulsive and dangerous. Very dangerous," she finished. Rayia hoped she didn't have to spell out her fear. The one that haunted her in the dark of night when she was alone with her thoughts. The fear that she had hurt people she should have considered allies, and likely could again.

 

[R'Ruug]

R'Ruug kept himself still and calm as Rayia tried to further explain herself. It wasn't all her fault, of course; R'Ruug knew he wasn't very smart, and the galaxy was a new, daunting place to him. That was immediately evident from the first question that came from his mouth.

"An Enclave is... bad?" He also wasn't quite sure what a conflict or an attune was, but he figured he should ask one question at a time.

After that question was answered, the Whiphid looked up, obviously pondering the conundrum. "Well... when I lived on Tanaab, I herded Jerbas. Whenever they did something weird, or that I did not expect, it was usually because they were sick, or hungry, or tired, and I did not know until I asked."

"Have you tried talking to your you-animal, Miss Rayia? To see what the problem is?"

- Rayia Si -

 

[Rayia Si]

R'Ruug

---

Rayia's brow quirked with surprise at the very first question that spilled from R'Rung's mouth. 'Wait, he doesn't know what the Enclave is? I mean, even I know what it is,' she thought, privately delighted at not being the last to figure something of galactic politics out. She could certainly understand the Whiphid's position though. He smelt as if he stayed very close to global matters, truly down to earth. Rayia remembered being like that back on Weik. When she was with her tribe, it seemed like the greater galaxy was so very far away. They could simply lie down on the endless sea of grasses and watch the stars go by amidst fluttering, golden stalks as far as the eye could see.

Rayia frowned and shook her head. "Is the Enclave bad? Well, no. I suppose not. Not like the Maw or the Sith were. The Enclave is a collection of people, Mandalorians, whose views differ from ours. They have come into conflict with the Alliance over territory, at least as far as I understand it. Some individuals may have done some... unsavory things, but whether that means they are bad as a whole? It is not for me to say. Merely to stop them," she explained and in return discovered some information on R'Rung's history. She wondered what this Tanaab was like. Based on his earlier statement of the room of a thousand fountains reminding him of home and his admittance of herding...whatever the heck a Jerba was... Rayia concluded that Tanaab must be an agricultural world. 'Not too dissimilar from Vossport then," Rayia thought, remembering fondly the port city on another of Weik's continents that she had originally fled to. One which the broader galaxy would find rather quaint and dated.

She was more surprised by his implication that he could speak to these Jerbas and even derive whether they were sick or hungry simply by asking. It was a sensation that Rayia had never experienced. Animals were mostly dispositioned to flee from Felacatians. Perhaps, they could sense the beast lurking within. Even these butterflies remained wary of her, congregating around R'Rung's presence or flitting away for food. Rayia sheepishly shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know how. Most animals avoid me and I've never tried to find it inside me..." Rayia trailed off as she made a realization. "...Well, not actively at least. I can sense it now, sleeping within me. But I don't know how to call to it. When you spoke with the Jerbas, how did you first do it?"

 

[R'Ruug]

"..."

"... Maw... Sith..." R'Ruug spoke them slowly, as if that would reveal their meaning to him. And that wasn't the end of the words he didn't have descriptions for. "I... do not understand... a lot of what you just said, Miss Rayia. Except that the... Man...da...lorans... are not bad, but we have to stop them anyways."

"Sorry. I am not very smart." It was the Whiphid's turn to be sheepish once more. If one thing had been drilled into him ever since he'd gotten to the temple, it was that he knew very little about the galaxy. About the Force. About... basically everything.

But maybe he could help her understand something about herself today. Maybe.

When Rayia questioned him about animals, R'Ruug raised his hand, turning it sideways as the caterpillar inched along his knuckles. "Well... I watched them. People sometimes... have thoughts up here," he pointed to his head, "that stop our thoughts down here." He pointed to his chest. "Animals speak from the heart. They feel, and then they do. So, I learned how to show them how I feel. Then they show me."

R'Ruug's eyes sparkled, then he placed the caterpillar between them. "Here. Bugs are easy. Show her how you feel. And then ask her how she feels."

- Rayia Si -

 

[Rayia Si]

R'Ruug

---

Rayia blinked again as it took a moment for R'rung to process her words. She could practically hear the questions sprouting then wilting on the Whiphid's lips. 'Perhaps I underestimated how...down to earth R'rung really was,' Rayia thought to herself, scratching her head in an effort to find the words to properly explain something she also recently learned about. Fortunately, it seemed that the Whiphid had grasped the heart of the matter and Rayia seized upon R'rung's words with a shake of her head. "Don't ever let anyone tell you aren't smart. You might not know something, but you are smart. You just know different things," she said, motioning to the kaleidescope of butterflies still hovering in the area to impart her meaning.

Rayia listened to R'rung's words with a tilt of her head. Somehow she was getting the feeling that there was more to his words. 'Or maybe I'm missing something? It can't be that simple,' she thought. But then again, maybe it was exactly as R'rung had said. Maybe she was overthinking this. Maybe that was what was preventing her from making a connection with the beast within her. Rayia's mouth twitched in a nervous smile as she saw R'rung's eyes light up. 'What's he going to make... Oh. Oh no,' Rayia thought, watching as he placed the caterpillar on a blade of grass between their feet.

"Okay, I can do this..." Rayia said, trailing off as her mind started to race. 'I'm not going to fail and embarrass myself. I'm not. Come on, it's a caterpillar. Cat-erpillar. You're practically related,' the hysterical, abashed part of her mind screeched internally. The more rational part was wringing its hands, as it commented, '...That...makes no sense.' CLAP. Rayia's cheeks stung with the impact as she slapped herself in the face with both palms. She could feel the beast within snarl and roll over in its sleep, but the disquieting voices stopped. Slowly, Rayia reached one clawed hand out towards the caterpillar's perch.

A nervous grin split her face as her lips thinned and crooked upwards. More teeth were visible than what should have been possible. The caterpillar rolled into a ball and fell to the ground, landing sideways on the ground as it sheltered there. Rayia's ears started to droop. 'No, you can't give up just like that. He said this was easy. Imagine how hard it's going to get,' Rayia thought, pressing one hand gently to the earth with a soft thump. Her claws burrowed into the soft, loose soil as Rayia kept her palm flat and her fingers splayed towards the caterpillar. "Come on, little one. Please." She begged, not caring that it was in front of someone else.

 

[R'Ruug]

R'Ruug could only cant his long muzzle to the side as Rayia slapped herself, then tried to connect with the caterpillar. He'd never seen someone else try speaking his langauge before, but... he was decently sure this was be one of the worst attempts he'd ever see.

And Whiphids lived a long time.

"No," he finally said, with a simple finality. "You are letting your head get in the way of your heart. Your worries only keep you from connecting." Then, R'Ruug, considered further, checking in with the traumatized caterpillar. "And... she thinks you are going to eat her."

"Do not... expect it of her. Share how you feel. Reach out. Then she might do the same."

- Rayia Si -

 

[Rayia Si]

R'Ruug

---

It was perhaps the note of finality in R'rung's voice that caused Rayia's shoulders to slump and her ears to droop. Sure, it rankled her pride a little bit to have failed to connect to a caterpillar, but even she was fairly sure that her attempt had been one of the more catastrophic failures. 'Why am I so tense?' She complained mentally, rolling her shoulders as she felt tightness creeping in. The Whiphid's words only confused her and she paused briefly to fix him with her golden eyes. "You're saying that my worries prevent me from reaching her but... that is how I feel. I am worried. I am scared. I shouldn't try to convey that?" She asked curiously.


R'rung's next words as he checked up on the caterpillar caused Rayia to snort. Blowing air out the side of her mouth, she readjusted one loose strand of hair that hovered about her eyes. "Please. She would hardly even make a snack." Rayia responded, attempting to reassure... someone. 'I don't even know anymore, It's not like the caterpillar karking understands me,' she thought. Though perhaps she was also unintentionally unveiling that some part of her subconscious had thought about it.

"Okay, I have failed clearly. Allow me to try again." She said, this time simply laying her hand out on the soft grass. 'How do I send what I feel to her? Maybe if I could just...push an image of a feeling toward her?' Rayia thought carefully, wondering how one could quantify nervous excitement. As she closed her eyes, Rayia was surprised to find a particular memory flooding back to her. One that might actually work. She was standing all alone in the savannah back on Weik. Golden rippling stalks of high grasses and wild wheat danced in the sun, creating ribbons of flickering light as they waved back and forth. The sun tickled her too, infusing her with a brimming warmth that made her feel lighter than air. She couldn't help but grin subconsciously, exuding joy for all to see. She'd played for hours in the long grass, until the sting of the sun had become too much and Rayia had to seek shelter. But as she turned to leave, the excitement slowly waned. Rayia's brow flickered with concern, eyebrows drawing together as she remembered the sadness and the... abandonment she had felt that her playmate, the sun, had departed. The night-time sounds had started settling in as the fauna of the savannah gave one last farewell to the sun and announced their slumber. And Rayia was all alone.

 

[R'Ruug]

"You feel nervous. Yes." R'Ruug's tone, even and sure, made him sound more like a great sage than a farmer from a backwater planet. "But that feeling comes from your head. Your heart cannot share while fear is in the way. It will only hold you back."

Rayia's laughter at R'Ruug's assertation made him smile in return. At least she had enjoyed some part of it. "Try again," he encouraged, an endless well of patience.

Her next attempt was... much better. Vaguely along the connection he shared with the caterpillar, he began to receive impressions. Grass. Sun. Joy. Sadness. The larva may have been the target, but R'Ruug received it all, too, memories shining from her to the caterpillar to him. And he... understood.

The Whiphid blinked, and let sympathetic tears well up in his eyes. "You were lonely." He had been lonely, too.

Fear would stop a connection. But sadness? He knew from experience that it created the strongest bonds. He looked down at the caterpillar, to see if it was as affected as he was. If his reaction was anything to go by... she would be.

- Rayia Si -

 

[Rayia Si]

R'Ruug

---

Rayia's instinctive reaction was to tilt her head to one side quizzically. Even as patient as R'rung was being with her, she still didn't quite understand. 'I think, I am starting to realize how ill prepared I was when I escaped from home,' Rayia thought to herself, even knowing that it was a necessity. She had to have fled that night, lest she face a total upheaval of the world she thought she knew. 'But, that makes it no easier to face,' Rayia thought, grimacing internally at the realization that she finally understood that only one amongst herself and her siblings would ever truly be wanted in the fullest sense. The others would certainly be loved, but their efforts wouldn't sate her mother's pride. And perhaps it was this disconnect, this realization, that truly allowed Rayia to try again.

As the memory tapered off, and Rayia stopped reminiscing, she was surprised to see that R'rung was also tearing up. The fur along her ears bristled in discomfort as the tapering, feline cones started to twitch. Rayia was happy that she had succeeded, to the extent of reaching R'rung at least. And yet, she also felt unsettled. Most fibers in her being protested against the vulnerability that she had displayed in transmitting such a memory. Her instincts as a apex predator conflicted against those of her humanoid self, screeching that she was to be in for a harsh lesson when the flank she had exposed was taken advantage of.

"...I was," Rayia admitted, swallowing around her clawing dread. There was no point in denying it. "I was raised in a place far from here, with very different expectations of what I should be or would be. It has been a bit of a shock, adjusting to life here. I think I was lucky my Mentor found me when she did." Suddenly, Rayia's tail bristled and she sensed the movement near her as the caterpillar slunk its way through the bent grass and climbed up one of the blades that had drooped onto the back of her hand. Until finally, it had reached its destination and seemed to loop carefree around one of Rayia's fingers.

"Well hello there, little one," Rayia repeated, and smiled. "See, I'm not so scary, am I?"

 

[R'Ruug]

R'Ruug brought a clawed finger under his eye, rubbing away the traces of wet beginning to creep forth. Rayia obviously wasn't very comfortable sharing. Maybe she had never been allowed to share her feelings openly before. R'Ruug had done nothing else with the animals on the farm- maybe that was why he connected so well.

It seemed the caterpillar was over her fear, as well, as she crawled up to the Felacatian, and wrapped herself around a finger. R'Ruug smiled gently, the butterflies landing on him, and littering his fur with color. "I think it might be... hard to share. If you are not used to it. But animals know more than people think they do. They... understand being lonely. And lost."

The Whiphid clasped his hands together, finding a shrug. "That is why they are the best friends in the world. Uh, ga-la-xy. Because they know, and they do not judge." He paused to think. A common occurrence in their conversation so far. "You know, I have not been here long. But I do not think the Jedi judge, either."

"Do you think you can try talking with your beast?"

- Rayia Si -

 

[Rayia Si]

R'Ruug

---

Rayia smiled a sheepish smile as she saw R'rung rubbing away the traces of tears. In a way, she felt bad that her presence was causing R'rung to be unable to shed those tears. She felt like she was imposing the very same mentality that had prevented her from expressing her feelings onto the Whiphid before her. "Please do not hold back on my account. If you wish to shed tears, please do," Rayia said scratching at her arm. Being honest, she didn't know entirely how to feel about R'rung's reaction. The sensation was uncomfortable, like a prickling sensation akin to a scratchy wool sweater she couldn't escape. For so long, she had listened to her Mother spout on and on about how pity did not serve a huntress. The words were ingrained into her by now, such that Rayia felt an aversion take hold of her at the sight of R'rung's gaze directed at her. Rayia fought the shudder that coursed through her and stifled the brief flicker of doubt that crossed her face.

Instead she masked her expression with one of curiosity at R'rung's next words. The caterpillar sensing this, dropped away and landed on a blade of grass beneath Rayia's finger. After all, if Rayia couldn't be true to herself, then she couldn't properly connect with the fauna around her. "And she's gone. Still, for a first attempt, I think I managed well enough," Rayia commented, feeling the sense of accomplishment wash away from her. Shaking away her feelings of disappointment, Rayia's brows knit together as R'rung explained that animals seemed to know the sensations of being lost or afraid. He then likened Jedi to them, at least in the aspect that neither group judged the others around them.

Rayia had to agree with him there. "I think you're correct about that. It is partially why I feel so lucky to have met my mentor when she took me in," Rayia said, and flicked an ear when he asked if she had tried talking to her beast within. Rayia shook her head, and paused to think. "...I did not even know it was a possibility until now. I think I will certainly try but..." she trailed off, the words she wanted to say escaping her. "It's complicated... You mentioned you lived on Tanaab herding Jerbas. Would you... ever miss it? Even if you knew that returning there would bring a slew of problems and was a bad idea?" Rayia asked, wondering at how the Whiphid had ended up here on Coruscant.