Private Spring Cleaning

[Malcoma Hesse]

Mal looked up at Judah.

"It's you," she affirmed. "I... I know it's a bit selfish." She glanced down to the floorboards. "I haven't gotten embarrassed by being that before, but I suppose there's time for firsts into your thirties."

Contrary to her carefully crafted and maintained reputation, Malcoma was not an emotionless mobster engaged in one of the worst crimes imaginable. In fact, she herself had been victimized by that very same crime. Her response to it had shaped her, in a way that protected her, yes, but also in one that continued to hurt her. Granted, the hurt was something that she rarely noticed, but today was one of those times.

Her mind had shattered her capacity to trust that real intimacy of any kind was not conditional.

Or most of it anyway. Perhaps a piece of that glass had tangled up in the arteries of her heart and waited there to repair itself.

"I'm not looking for anything serious, Judah," she added, "but I'm also hoping for something... meaningful." If not nonexistent, the distinction may have been unfair, but Mal believed that their was something in that gap of nuance. She was neither economically nor emotionally ready to commit to a relationship that wasn't with her girls, let alone settling down to leave the Guesthouse for a law-abiding home, but she wanted to explore the possibility of something more to this life of hers.

After all, she had successfully empowered slaves for years. Perhaps she could try to be a survivor trying to find love too.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

She did have a softer side, one which wanted something Judah had not thought the woman could want. It was not that he thought her incapable of it, but that her girls left no room for it. The Jedi master knew how she cared for them, and the lengths she would go to ensure they were safe. They had her heart, and not even Malcoma would deny that.

Still.

Judah nodded.

“Me.”

Judah could not recall the last time anyone made him feel wanted in this way. Sonit came close, but their relationship was more akin to that of a father and a daughter. Yes, Judah felt needed when she was around, like his company was wanted even. This was not that, it was more. Malcoma wanted something deeper. She wanted something Judah had been afraid to give for a long time.

Was he still?

His finger tucked under Mal’s chin as he lifted her gaze to his again. Blue eyes searched hers for the truth of what she was saying. The strong empath could not find a lie in them. His smile was small, almost a quick tug at the corner of his mouth before his expression was serious once more. Did she know what she was asking, nothing serious, but meaningful. Judah did. He knew the price that came with it. While she was not looking to give anything up which would see their lives suddenly becoming one, Mal wanted the benefits of it.

“So you do want to give us a try.”

This time it was not a question. If they were going to try, there was something Malcoma needed to know. Neither of them had truly talked about their respective pasts. For the sake of respecting each other and what their partnership had been, it seemed imperative they leave it alone. This was new territory, and his past could no longer be something he withheld from her.

A heavy sigh escaped his lungs. In some ways Judah knew a large weight was about to fall from his shoulders. In other ways, he knew it could have the opposite effect than what he intended. Regardless, Judah was not going to let them try until Mal knew everything that her answer insinuated.

If she wanted Judah, that included his pain.

“I was married. She died. You are closer in age to my son than me. Yet, here I am. If you want to try, then you need to know.”

Judah searched her eyes again. Knowing what he said, did she still want to try?

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

She frowned.

She had weighed the possibility of his being a widow, honestly, more than once, but had decided to leave it alone. Once again, against her better judgement, her self-programming, she had chosen soon after they met that he was not a man that she had to be ready at a moment's notice to blackmail. It was only partially that Sonti had taken quickly to him, the other part being something like wishful thinking.

Except the wish had come true.

Judah was the first free man in her life that she did not have a contingency plan for. For Damris, even Wynter, the same was not true and for those facts she had not lost a wink of sleep.

In her own way, Malcoma respected the Jedi, cared for him, and had begun to long for showing him.

Both of her hands came to cradle his cheeks, fingertips threading through his beard. Her soft gaze was meant to communicate sorrow without her needing to say so. "And I, in some male eyes, am a sullied woman." She trusted that he knew, or else could gather, what she meant. "I may not have much to offer a Master Jedi."

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Judah felt the sorrow his words made the woman feel. They had not talked about his past loves or her men. The Jedi knew what type of woman she was and had been. She did not free slaves because she had been free her whole life. Mal saved them from a life she had once lived and crime was the way to do it. She was not the innocent damsel waiting for her knight to rescue her. For all Judah knew she didn't need to be rescued.

His eyes stayed on hers when her hands cupped his cheeks. A smile pulled at his lips. It fell at the words she used to describe herself… well other men.

Judah shook his head.

"Not sullied… strong."

His hands fell to the woman's hips as Judah moved closer. The intent was clear in his blue eyes.

"And I don't need you to be anything else."

His lips pressed against hers in a soft kiss as a test. He pulled back and smiled, almost shy. Was it okay?

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

After he pulled back, she opened her eyes to his smile. She offered one of her own back, not shy but small, fighting her wariness to show happiness. She'd never say it, especially not now, but there was a part of her that liked being treated as fragile—for she was, even more than she pretended like she was not.

She rested her forehead and nose against his even as she locked her arms behind his neck. A few silent moment passed between them like that, Mal consumed with her own thoughts, namely about how displeased, even more so, Ivory would be. She finally pushed the idea aside, comforted that Judah knew that full well already and it hadn't altered his actions: not now but also not from the moment he found out which crime family Malcoma was involved with.

Her thoughts then focused on his correction. Strong. Damris was the only man that actually had used that word to describe her in a positive manner, but... hearing it from one whom didn't work for her, whether he was sincere or not? It hit differently.

She kissed Judah back.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

For the moment the reason Judah had come in the first place did not matter at all. In fact whatever cleaning they had been up to had ceased. Neither of them seemed to be too concerned with the fact they were not working. Right now it was just them. Judah’s mind swirled with all of the reasons why they should put the brakes on it all, but with Mal’s arms wrapped around his neck, Judah did not care.

There was peace. For the first time in a long while, Judah felt at peace all things considered. Any decision to move forward with Malcoma was not going to be an easy road to walk, but neither of them ever did anything the easy way. He would be just the kind of Jedi to chase after a criminal for more than information. Was that what he had done here? Whatever was happening, Judah at least felt he was being honest with himself to think he had not seen this coming.

She kissed him in return.

Judah kissed her back, again.

He smiled as the kiss ended.

“If we do not stop kissing each other we are bound to make a mess of everything we just arranged.”

Just because Judah was near fifty it did not mean anything about him had learned to settle. The argument could be made he was a much better read of the situation they were in because of his years. Malcoma was a lot wiser in many ways than he was however. Judah may have been experienced in the ways of marriage, love, and commitment, but Mal was certainly the most experienced in this arena between the two of them.

It was not a dig at her. It simply was what was.

He did not care about anything he just said. Judah simply kissed the woman again, and as he did he pressed himself into her, closer. There was nothing more the two needed to say to each other for the time being.

Why use words when actions said so much more.

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

That made Mal laugh.

One of her hands sought out Judah's, which she held as she turned from him and dragged it behind her to the great window. With her other hand, she reached to draw the curtains over an old speeder bike parked just underneath the solid oak sill. The living room wasn't cast into darkness, but the sunlight filtering into it certainly dimmed.

"The bedroom down the hall's kept clean," she suggested as she did so. In her line of work, there was no telling when a space to eat and sleep in secrecy was called for, just rarely for her.

Then she turned back to him, moving close again. "Though I don't much mind if you make a mess."

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

The bedroom down the hall was kept clean… that almost defeated the purpose of what Judah had just said. Malcoma's next comment made Judah feel like an idiot however. He didn't need anymore of an invitation before picking the blonde up and tossing her over his shoulder. It was playful, but also a display of strength. His body may have been aging, but the Jedi kept himself in peak condition.

They would find themselves tossed about and tangled with the sheets and blankets of what had been a pristinely kept bed. Something about the encounter had been different for the Jedi. Perhaps it was the first time since Katara had died he didn't use the intimate moments to think about his wife, or wish it had been her in the bed beside him.

Judah had wanted this… what had just happened and with who he held next to him. It was hard for him to know exactly when this was something he had wanted, he just knew it. The only problem now was that they could not go back from this place. The Jedi hoped they would not regret crossing this line.

The Jedi leaned over the blonde and kissed her again.

"Hungry?"

It was the kind of question a man would ask, especially one like Judah. He smiled as he propped himself up.

"Believe it or not I actually cook…"

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

Clasping the bedsheet to her chest as she sat up, too, she pushed a pillow between the small of her back and the headboard, and leaned back. "You get more and more domesticated by the moment," she teased.

Then she added, "There's not much in the kitchen." Though the small house was an integral part of her Underworld Railroad, and was thus stocked with food, most of it was shelf-stable. The refrigerator was very sparely stocked. "But I will eat whatever you whip up."

Mal had the intention of getting up to re-dress a few minutes after Judah left to see what he could cook, but she only moved to curl back down under the all covers. I'll move when he calls, she told herself instead. It wasn't often that after sleeping with a man she felt like she could stay in bed. With Judah, it wasn't only that she felt safe enough, but also that there was absolutely no need to act against her own desires just to please him—especially not one as simple as resting her eyes and bones for a little bit longer.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Just because there was not much in the kitchen, did not mean Judah couldn't figure out something to make. He was used to traveling and living off little. Life had forced him to get creative. His lips pressed to Malcoma's once more before he got out of the best and pulled his pants on once again. Cooking in the buff was not a good idea after all.

He whistled on his way to the kitchen.

"I am more domesticated than I let on,“ he called back finally responding to Mal's jest.

A stupid boyish grin was on his face. The Jedi had lived a long time without feeling happy. Did he get by? Certainly. That did not mean it was easy or a bed full of roses. The master did what he had to in order to keep moving forward, but that did not mean he liked it. His past was kept all that different from Malcoma's. While he had never been a slave, Judah had been a criminal once. He knew the world she lived in, and what it meant to survive in it.

He knew what they had just done, what they had decided, complicated her life. If it didn't stay between them, Mal was going to have those in the crime family she was involved in breathing down the back of her neck until he was gone.

Did Judah care? For the moment he decided not to think about it. Instead he managed to scrounge up breakfast, even if it was the middle of the day.

"Success…"

His declaration came as the tray of food was brought into the bedroom and set on the bed for Mal to pick at.

"You weren't kidding when you said there wasn't much…"

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

Mal sat up again. She reached over to caress Judah's cheek before picking up a piece of food.

She shrugged. "This is more than my personal antique shop," she said. "It's a safehouse, but I'd be disappointed if you hadn't gathered as much." A smile tried to tell him that she was only partially kidding. "Someone comes through now and then, much less frequently than they once did." Her smile fell. She took the opportunity to pop the morsel into her mouth, and chewed over it and her options.

She settled on sharing.

"This... place isn't the first home I had as a free woman." A sigh. "Well, freed for the second time, anyway. That place was down a few levels, but it's long gone now. Went up in flames one night and took half of a slum out with it." She sighed again. "Some spice traders had the bright idea that arson would get the CSF off their backs rather than doubled down onto it. Good riddance.

"But I'm glad that this place has survived." That was probably due in large part to the house being in a relatively good part of the Underworld for, you know, being in the Underworld. Residents here kept to themselves even though most of them were shady. There was no honor among thieves here, just currently no compelling reasons to screw each other over. It had been that way for just over a decade, so it was a matter of time before the situation changed. Until then, Mal was content to bask in the relative calm.

"It's really the place that I started."

She did, Eve did, and now the Hestia Project was rooted here.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

This was not home, but it was home. Judah gathered the small bit of information with everything Mal had shared. Her past was not an easy one, and Judah knew that. His had not been either. To her he had always been a Jedi, and in a lot of ways an annoying one at that. This, whatever it was they had been avoiding, and what they had just shared, was born out of that reality. Sure, Judah was more than that. He had been there when others would not have been, and he had taken care of Sonti when it mattered the most. None of that changed the fact Judah had a past which Mal knew nothing about.

He sat back down onto the bed once the tray of food was set someplace they could both access it. The quiet was not because he was indifferent to what she said, but because he was more familiar with it than he should have been. A quick cover for it was the food he had popped into his mouth before an answer would be required, but he could not let it linger too long.

“Before the Jedi found me, I worked for a man named Dothan. He got this bright idea one time to pull one over on CorSec when they came in to investigate allegations that he was violating gambling protocols in his casinos. I’ve always been able to read people, the force has come easy to me that way. I beat them so bad as Sabacc that they had to work as his moles in the department to pay off their debt.”

Judah shrugged, waiting to see what Mal would do with the information.

“Cops… they all have a weak spot for their vices. You can exploit them if you know what you’re doing, or what you’re looking for.”

Another piece of food was placed in his mouth, a larger piece this time. Judah was going to let some quiet sit between them as most did not know about his criminal past. The Jedi had spent years attoning for them. What he did with Dothan was the least of his since. His years conning people, that was what still made him feel guilty if he allowed his thoughts to dwell on it for too long.

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

Whatever Mal was thinking as she watched and listened to Judah her face did not betray, but she was taking no precautions to quiet the initial reactions in her mind. Thus, if Judah was empathing even a little, he'd feel her attitude before she spoke. She waited until her had finished both parts of his monologue then let the quiet beats pass. If he was at all nervous that she'd guilt him for this glint of his past, he would soon realize that he had no reason to be, but would her reassurance make him feel any better?

"Good on you for figuring that one out, darling," she finally said, completely seriously because she was. In her experience, pigs so often danced around, and sometimes even died, for that secret of theirs. It would have been cute if it wasn't pathetic as well.

The she added for the sake of the often-divergent paths that they walked currently, "If you're looking for a slap on the wrist, you won't get that from me, Judah."

With that, she stood to begin gathering her clothes from the floor. The vulnerability of having this conversation nude was suddenly too much for her.

"If the Donna was not Jediphobic, I'd invite you to teach a class or two at the Guesthouse."

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

“It did not take much,” he offered in a way that seemed to indicate she did not need to give what seemed like praise.

Everything the Jedi said was more about letting the woman have a glimpse into his past than anything else. Maybe she already knew by his behavior that his past was shaded a little differently than other Jedi. Judah had never allowed that to bother him. His experiences had been what made him a good shadow, an investigator, and whatever the Jedi needed him to be. Just because he had lost his faith in the Jedi as an organization did not mean he had betrayed the light side or his own principles.

One of those principles was that a person’s affiliation did not make them right or wrong. There were groups that did evil things, and Judah could question a person that chose to be loyal to something so blatantly wicked. That made someone a bad judge more than it made them a bad person. If they participated in the vile deeds of a group that made them guilty. The same was true of someone who belonged to an organization that did good. Belonging did not define a person, their actions did.

Mal took steps to ensure her girls were taken care of, even if she did things which were not legal. As far as Judah was concerned that made her even. Judah had killed people, stolen from them, and as a Jedi he did much to make up for that. They were different, but they were the same.

“The Donna has her reasons.”

It was all he said to what he already knew. He supposed that Mal was going to have to get dressed again at some point, but Judah had hoped it did not need to be so soon. The tryst of theirs had been unexpected, and the Jedi suddenly found himself hoping to extend their time at the house.

“There are other ways for me to do that if you really wanted to make it work. Something tells me that we are going to have to find ways to be more intentional about seeing each other anyway. If you and the girls ever found your way to Corellia for example… My son has rebuilt the old home and training grounds.”

Was it an invitation?

Yes.

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

Reasons. Yes, the Donna had plenty of those.

As Mal threaded her arms into her bra and reached behind her back to clip the loops back in place, she caught herself. Talking shop was not a trap she was going to fall into tonight. Instead, she replied, as she stepped into her trousers, "We don't need to think about that now, Judah.

"And I don't actually need to go," she added, climbing back onto the bed while glancing at her watch to make sure she didn't have to check in with Damris yet. I'm only nervous was the bit she didn't say, but she was well aware that the Shadow likely knew nonetheless.

"What'd I'd like to hear about is your son. What's his name?" It was curious for her: the feeling of being ready to remember, but only to connect, not to condemn.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Talking shop or not, it did not matter to Judah. His life with Katara had been one where their professional lives mixed with their personal ones. Granted they had been married which meant that was bound to happen at some point. Maybe this was new territory for Mal, but Judah found that he could easily slip into it all over again. There was just one stark reality Judah would likely have to contend with.

There would never be anything traditional about whatever it was the two were entering into.

Judah was okay with that, but there was a bit of what that looked like the two would need to define later. Were they exclusive, were they not? How would they deal with the fact Judah was often pulled in different directions as a Jedi? He was not always able to be present, and being gone for weeks at a time was part of his life. It had been what pulled him and Katara apart in the end. Judah was rarely present for his family.

He pushed the thoughts out of his mind. Mal wanted to know more about him… about his son. A smile pulled at Judah’s lips.

“JJ,” he answered, “it’s what we called him anyway, Judah… he is a junior.”

That was likely obvious with the answer he had given.

“He is also a Jedi, recently a master himself. Where I am a shadow, he took more after his mother in certain ways, and Judah decided to become a guardian. The boy is much more a soldier and a fighter than even I am. He is a damn good pilot, and an even better person.”

Judah reached for his personal datapad and flipped through a couple holoimages until he found the most recent he had of his son.

“Here this is him. Though for as nice as he is… he has been very unlucky in love, and as far as I know has yet to produce any grandkids so… still working on that. Maybe he should meet Sonti.”

Judah chuckled with the last bit. He was teasing, though part of him was not. He was not above setting up his son.

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

With palms pressed into the mattress, Mal leaned over to see the picture. She couldn't help but smile down at it, her sincerity reflecting back in the screen. Judah was clearly proud of JJ and, while none of the Headmistress' wards were her blood, she could fully understand the flow of parental love.

Then the Jedi mentioned Sonti. Mal's countenance fell. In any other circumstance, it might have because she didn't stand for anyone to matchmake for her girls. She couldn't even bring herself to do it. Any breech of their personal autonomy was grievous to her given their past—and given hers. But, in this case, something even more malicious came to mind.

The New Way.

Mal glanced up at Judah as she sat back on her knees. "I think perhaps he should," she agreed. "His home doubles as a training ground, you say?" Just like that, she was back to talking shop. It was new territory for her, mixing the two sides of her life in a way that was not coolly matter-of-fact and practical, but she could get used to it.

She continued, "Judah, there's a threat in the air that I can't tell the Family about. I haven't even told Damris. It affects Sonti." She extended an arm again, putting her hand on Judah's upper arm. "She's safe for now, but I wonder how long that will last.

"Last month, Onique," another girl, an echani whom he may or may not know, "hired an assassin to get rid of some competition that had been a thorn in my side for the better part of a year." Mal didn't dwell on the latitude that Onique had taken to do so, or the young woman's motivations, because neither mattered now. "Then, a few days into the contract, a man found me and told me who she was: an HRD with connections to the New Way.

"She's been neutralized, but even before she was, she didn't know about Sonti's gifts. Still, I'm worried. She pretends that she's not, but she's worried too. Sooner or later, someone will figure it out and then we'll be fighting a two-front war against whoever does and the caporegime."

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Judah knew of the threat all too well. Malcoma did not have to name it for the Jedi to understand what she was meaning. The shadow had his own run ins with the New Way, and it had been that organization which kept him away from Sonti and Mal for a time. Ironic that Sonti now found herself caught up in it. If he could not keep what was his away from it, then what was the worth of his labor to bring them down?

It meant even more.

"The New Way… they are always sticking their noses into my life and my business."

A frustrated sigh left the Jedi's lungs as he moved away from the bed to look out a window. He had to keep Sonti safe, he knew that. Now he had to keep Mal safe, whether she wanted that to be his responsibility or not. That would be harder if the two remained in the same place.

"Sonti should meet JJ then…"

This time the suggestion was not him trying to set them up. JJ could help protect her as well. However, the best way to protect Sonti was to train her.

"I know the Jedi would not be your first choice, but she needs to learn how to master the force. She needs to learn how to protect herself."

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

As she watched him get up, walk away, and settle by the window, she rearranged her limbs until she was sitting cross-legged. She echoed his sigh. He was right with everything he had just said. The Jedi may not have been her first choice otherwise, but she trusted Judah, Sr. and by association Jr., and any Sith sect seemed like an even worse option. Mal had told a fellow Family member once that she would have been a Sith if she had been born sensitive to the Force. Given her past and personality, Mal was certain that fantasy version of herself would have made it though the cutthroat training, but Sonti?

Oh, baby, no.

The kiffar was much less mad at the worlds and all the evil beings in them; instead, she was disappointed and determined that she could build a better future, if only just for herself and those she had the time to save.

"Yes," agreed Mal from the bed. "When could JJ have us? Soon?"

A mother beyond a shadow of a doubt, Mal was more than willing to drop everything to protect Sonti: she was eager to.

Judah Lesan

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

"He can have us whenever we want to go. Biometric locks are a wonderful thing. I'm still programmed in. I built the place originally after all."

That was the long way of saying they didn't need JJ to get into the house. Granted, they did need JJ to meet Sonti. Whether it was a fit or whether Judah trained her at the compound, it seemed she may stay there for a while based on what Mal had said. If the New Way was after her, the Lesan family would do everything to keep her safe.

"When do you want to leave? I can message him when to expect us."

He turned back to look at her. A smile pulled at his lips.

"I think you might like it there too."