Private Skipping Leg Day

[Lilanna Kelamvor]

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SKIPPING LEG DAY​

Location: Bastion, Unknown Medical Facility​

Tags: Corin Autem​

Equipment: Lilanna's Lightsaber, Lilanna's Armor, BG-400 Blaster Pistol.​

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Light burned her eyes as consciousness first came to Lilanna. At first, it hurt to breath, the first two breaths were more labored gasps than breaths, though she felt something within her back buzz, and the breathing became easier. Her eyes began to adjust, looking about the room she was currently in, and felt confusion trickle into her mind as reality set in. The steady beeps within the room indicated that her vital signs were steady, though the pumps that were linked to her arms were rather annoying to put up with. Her hands felt the fabric of the sheets covering her form, though her right leg felt off. She attempted to move it, unable to feel the fabric encompassing the limb, and received nothing as she attempted to do so.​

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Lilanna frowned, her hand extended forward to pat the space where the limb would be, and seized the empty space. The confusion broke way to fear, as she cast aside the sheets, and found the linen covered stump that had once been her right leg. The limb was missing below the knee, with the faint traces of dried blood speckled across the wrappings. The Warden was silent for a moment, blinking in quiet horror as her hand brushed against the missing appendage. Her fingers trembled, trying to search for the missing part of her leg, and still, nothing came from it.​

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This had to be some sort of sick joke.​

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There was no other way to explain it.​

 

[Corin Autem]

Location: Bastion, Lil's Medical Suite
Tags: Lilanna Kelamvor

Sitting beside Lilanna, Captain Corin Autem kept her vigil in silence. Alone except for her thoughts, the Ultranaut had taken it upon herself to watch over the comatose form of her friend. For hours now she had watched the cyborg, unwilling or perhaps unable to leave. The doctor's had assured her that all was well, that the Warden was going to be fine and if anything happened they'd be straight on it. And, for the most part, Corin believed them. All would be well, given time. Not for Lil though.

Her gaze wandering, Corin grimaced as her eyes fixed on the place Lil's injured leg should have been. Only it wasn't. And never would be thanks to her.

Looking away, Cor closed her eyes, guilt and anger and a little bit of shame threatening to overwhelm her. Thinking back, she could still see the moment she'd cut through the tendons at the back of Lil's knee, could remember how -at the time- she had believed it to be necessary in order to stop her friend from killing her. Or her from killing her friend. Maybe that would have been a mercy?

No, it wouldn't of been, she thought, making a conscious effort to comfort herself. Laughing bitterly, the Ultranaut shook her head. She didn't deserve comfort. It should have been her laid up on that hospital bed. Or, better, she should have fallen with the rest of her soldiers, died an honorable death alongside her friends. Her family. It would've been easier than this, she knew. Much easier.

Stirring, she watched in silence as Lil came to, confusion writ plain on her face. The beeping of the monitors was interrupted by the sound of shuffling as the cyborg began to sit up, looking around. Her eyes passed the place where Corin sat, glazing over her before Lil had the opportunity to get a firm grip on her senses. The Ultranaut didn't mind. Sitting forwards, she observed as Lil threw back the sheets covering her body from the waist down. Frowning, Cor accepted the sight of the stump with a cool indifference she didn't really feel. It was something she had seen before after all, one too many times.

Course, this time was different. More personal.

"Easy now, Lil, easy." The Ultranaut said, climbing quietly to her feet. A few paces saw her sat on the edge of Lil's bed, a hand reaching out to steady her friend as the shock and horror surged to the forefront of the young apprentice's mind. "It's okay. Just breathe. Breathe." Looking into her friend's eyes, Cor tried to ignore how hollow her words had felt. It's okay? Really? Forcing a smile, she nodded as her friend's attention turned to her. "How're you feeling?"

 

[Lilanna Kelamvor]

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SKIPPING LEG DAY​

Location: Bastion, Unknown Medical Facility​

Tags: Corin Autem​

Equipment: Lilanna's Lightsaber, Lilanna's Armor, BG-400 Blaster Pistol.​

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She had missed the presence of Corin in the room, though hearing the Ultranaut's words, the Warden's empty eyes set upon her. There was a blank stare as the soldier approached, her lips moving, though Lilanna couldn't hear what she was saying. It just seemed so, distant, her very body feeling numb. The memories of the battle slowly slotted into place, as did a few fractured thoughts. There was the droning that filled her mind, the presence that she had allowed to take over her body, and...the fact she had nearly killed the woman sitting before her. She didn't move a muscle as Corin neared, the Warden watching her, her hands unknowingly trembling as it grasped the severed limb.​

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No, it wasn't a joke. This was reality striking her once more, her own foolishness had nearly cost her the life of friends and herself. This was a consolation prize, she was lucky to still be breathing.​

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By all rights, Corin should have been trying to wring her neck. Yet, she wasn't. The sensation of a hand grasping her shoulder alerted the Warden for a moment, and with it, the words of her friend finally began to reach her. She realized then that she hadn't taken a breath for several moments, and sucked down air to fill her depleted lungs. Coughing, she ended up leaning into the warrior, tears began to form in her eyes, though she didn't attempt to wipe them away. It was a trivial matter in this moment. Her mind was still struggling to make sense of this new reality.​

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She took several breaths, trying to find a point of stability, though it was hard enough to just keep air coming in and out. She managed it after a moment, pulling herself back from the edge of a panic attack, as she looked to Corin now, her eyes still holding a level of emptiness to it. She attempted to form words, and felt them being lounged in her throat, but she eventually forced them out.​

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'How are you feeling?'​

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What kind of question was that? How was she supposed to answer? Truth be told, she didn't have one.​

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"I'm sorry." It was a quiet sad thing, what she managed to cough out, but the reality was amongst all the pain, and shame she felt at current, the only semblance of anger she felt was entirely directed at herself.​

 

[Corin Autem]

Location: Bastion, Medical Suite
Tags: Lilanna Kelamvor

Corin knew the moment she spoke them that her words wouldn't have their desired effect, and lo and behold, they didn't. Grimacing at her own stupidity, she pulled back everso slightly as Lil's gaze found her. Surprise mixed with worry as her friend suddenly started coughing, deep breaths rattling from her battered lungs. The machines hooked up to Lil kept their steady rhythm as the apprentice leaned into her, tears brimming in her eyes. Pain or some internal strife, perhaps. The medical suite they were in could handle the first, which left Cor to deal with the latter, if she could.

The Ultranaut had her doubts.

"There there." She cooed in hushed tones, a hand snaking up to find the back of Lil's head as she drew the apprentice into a hug. It wasn't easy. Between the tubes and various gadgets hooked up to the Sith, it wasn't long before Cor decided it was time to let go. Giving her friend space, she looked on as Lil seemed to find some semblance of composure. Her eyes were still the same; empty, strangely devoid of the life the captain sometimes saw in them. But who could blame her? After what they'd both been through, it was okay to be a little bit broken, a little bit different.

A little bit guilty.

"Me too." Corin replied, recognizing the shame in the way Lil looked at her. She felt it, too. That and guilt. "You're like this because of me. I didn't mean to cut so deep but you weren't yourself and-... and..." Cor let her words die away. It sounded too much like she was trying to justify what had happened. Mostly because she was trying to justify it. Realization dawned, and was quickly followed by a rage that sought to choke her. Before she could even think to utter any more words, any more reasons why it was okay to maim your friends, she found her voice had abandoned her.

Looking away, it was quite some time before Cor managed to calm herself down enough to speak.

Turning back to Lil, she let her hair fall across her eyes, and didn't risk brushing it aside for fear of what her friend might see in them. "I tried, Lil. Really, I tried."

 

[Lilanna Kelamvor]

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SKIPPING LEG DAY​

Location: Bastion, Unknown Medical Facility​

Tags: Corin Autem​

Equipment: Lilanna's Lightsaber, Lilanna's Armor, BG-400 Blaster Pistol.​

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There was a faint sting in her arm from the tug of the IVs, but the sensation was hardly a thought to the Warden at the moment. For the first time in a long time, she felt arms encompass her, the sensation of the embrace was alien to her at first, but she recalled it's feeling from years prior. Before the time of the Sith, before she had been broken down into the apprentice of Dath Levos. Numb as she was, she could feel the warmth of her friend, and know that she wasn't entirely alone. Fingers found the back of her head, slowly encompassing it and pulling her closer, Lilanna's forehead came to rest on her shoulder. She let the weight of her decisions drop onto her, indeed they were crushing. But she could lay them down here, for just a moment at least.​

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It wouldn't last.​

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Just as she was becoming accustomed to this sensation, it withdrew from her, and the Warden quickly stumbled over herself withdrawing the ocean of emotion that nearly spilled forth. The expression of the Warden looked to her friend, seeing she was just as distraught about the past encounter as herself.​

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Corin spoke, apologies that to the Warden didn't feel on point, rather laced with guilt and regret. It...wasn't like Corin. It wasn't like the woman she had gotten to know. Lilanna attempted to sit up, wincing as the IV tugged once more on her arm, and with the faintest exertion of what strength she could muster, she pulled the line out of her arm, bringing out a small bubbling of blood and angering the IV pump; it's angry beeping was silenced with a faint command from the Warden, though even that was a strain on her. With this dealt with, she moved to face the Ultranaut. "The truth is, I messed up. I lost control, and I-" The words became lodged in her throat once more, Lilanna's hands gripping the fabric of the sheet, before she would attempt to grab the woman's shoulder. "You were the only one who made the right call." She would manage to say, flashes of her mistake still played out in the back of her mind.​

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The pain of losing a limb it...was something to live with, learn by, that sort of affair. Or at least, she would learn to live with it. Though right now, the idea of doing that was...too much to factor. Corin pulled away, and with it, Lilanna's hand was left hanging in the air, before she slowly withdrew it.​

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There was a weakness in her voice, a tremble in her shoulders. Something had broken in her friend. Something beyond what Lilanna had done. Yet, this was the Wardens fault, as her lose of control had lead to this outcome. As Corin came back, face concealed by her hair, the Warden's arm taking the Ultranaut, and trying to embrace her; though she hadn't a clue as to how. "You did what you were supposed to Corin. I'm sorry I-" The reality of her folly struck her, and the final words concluded her thought. "I failed you." ​

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She managed to choke out, her eyes still welling with tears she was trying to hold back. She didn't deserve to shed them, not after what she had done.​

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What she had caused.​

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Corin should have killed her, and they both knew that.​

 

[Corin Autem]

Location: Bastion, Med Facility
Tags: Lilanna Kelamvor

Corin listened halfheartedly to her friend's words, refusing to accept them. They were, after all, lies created to make her feel better. And Cor was nothing if not honest. "The right call? The right call would've been to destroy the Gate as soon as it showed up in Real Space." Cor said, her voice bitter. The bitterness wasn't directed at Lilanna, however, but at someone else, something else. Turning, Cor reached up and brushed her hair back from her eyes, willing or perhaps ready to look Lil in the eye.

Almost absentmindedly, she patted the bed where the cyborg's missing leg should have been, as if to prove a point.

"I find it difficult to imagine what the wrong call is if you consider this to be the right one." Shaking her head, the Ultranaut's gaze stayed locked on Lil. For a moment, she could see the pain of loss writ across her friend's face. It hurt to see, to tell the truth. Hurt a lot. Leaning forwards, Cor helped Lil into the hug, knowing that they both needed it even before she locked her arms behind the apprentice's back. Normally she would've been against wearing her heart on her sleeve, but today seemed just as good a time as any to do so.

Alone with a friend, she could drop the formalities that went hand-in-hand with being a soldier of the Empire, quit acting tough and just be herself. If she was herself. Sure didn't feel like it. "You didn't fail us, Lilanna. We made mistakes is all. Kept on making them. It's only right that we paid the price for it." Closing her eyes, Corin saw flashes of the battle play out in her memory. The struggle against Lil. The drone called the Votary, and the fight for the breach that had been so fierce she'd seen half her platoon killed or incapacitated.

Their return to the Outpost had been heavy hearted, victory tasting like ashes in her mouth. Finding the remnants of her company, her battalion, had been worse.

"Dying alongside my people would have been an honour. I would've welcomed it."

 

[Lilanna Kelamvor]

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SKIPPING LEG DAY​

Location: Bastion, Unknown Medical Facility​

Tags: Corin Autem​

Equipment: Lilanna's Lightsaber, Lilanna's Armor, BG-400 Blaster Pistol.​

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They were both shaken by this encounter it seemed, not that Lilanna could blame her. Corin was right of course, but that was with hindsight. They didn't know what laid on the other side of that gate. They couldn't have known. "We didn't know what was there, and...we know even less about the gateways." The Warden struggled to find anything reasonable to say, let alone what she could work out to soothe this blemish. She caught the patting motion the woman did, and felt a flicker of sensation in the no longer existing limb.​

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Feeling the hug being reciprocated, the Warden clenched her eyes, knowing full well what the right call was in her mind. "The right call would have been to eliminate me the moment I became a hostile." It had been sitting there in her mind long enough. She leaned into the soldier, taking comfort in the joined suffering that the pair were experiencing. She had let her will be violated and warped once again, and the fault was all of her own doing. "I broke you off from your men, I distracted you from your duties." The voice that so enjoyed tormenting her had been silent since the incident, though why that was Lilanna hadn't a clue. Her fingers dug into Corin's back for a moment, the former Sith's arms squeezing tightly. "I almost got you killed. I almost kill-" Her voice cracked. "I almost killed you, Corin." She went silent at that, tears breaking from behind her eyes, and dropping harmlessly onto the Ultranaut's shoulder.​

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Corin's last set of words did little to ease her guilt, nor the shame she was currently drowning in. Lilanna could only summon a weak. 'I'm sorry.', and a pitiful one at that.​

 

[Corin Autem]

Location: Bastion, Med Facility
Tags: Lilanna Kelamvor

"My point exactly." Cor said, refusing to cede the point. "We went through not knowing what to expect, unprepared and ignorant of what awaited us there. We still don't for that matter." Sinking into the hug, the Ultranaut closed her eyes, content to spend what free time she had in quiet conversation with her friend. "Who's to say Omni's the only threat? There could be more of his kind for all we know. Or worse." Letting out a sigh, Cor shook her head wanly. Whatever the case might prove to be, the events that would follow such a discovery were well out of her hands. Well out of the hands of her superiors, too. The Empress had the last word, always.

Cor would do as ordered; she always had. When Tacitus had led the Empire. When Ingrid took over following his disappearance. No doubt the same would be true for her successor.

The Empire was Eternal after all. It would outlive all of them.

When talk returned to matters regarding the 'right call', Cor could only shake her head in disagreement. How deep into her own mind did Lil have to be to see that as the right call? "If that were true, Lil, we wouldn't be having this conversation. 'Sides, you're one of us. Ultranauts don't kill their own." That wasn't strictly true. The Shadow Empire had their own version of Ultranauts; traitors or cheap knockoffs depending on who you asked. Either way, Corin was convinced they didn't count. An Ultranaut who betrayed the Empire was no true Ultranaut. Of that, she was certain.

Hugging Lil tight, the captain hushed the cyborg as her voice cracked and tears began to stream from her eyes. Corin felt Lil's arms tighten around her, a vice grip from which there was no escape. Cor didn't seek one. Smiling, she shook her head, her voice becoming lighter, more playful. "Plenty of people have tried to kill me, Lilanna. You're the first to apologize for it." Trying to find Lil's eyes with her own, the Ultranaut's smile widened in what she hoped was a comforting expression. "Don't be sorry. I'll be with them again sooner or later. Until then, I plan on doing a whole lot of living."

Freeing a hand, Corin wiped a wayward tear from Lil's face, still smiling her gentle smile.

"You should too."

 

[Lilanna Kelamvor]

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SKIPPING LEG DAY​

Location: Bastion, Unknown Medical Facility​

Tags: Corin Autem​

Equipment: Lilanna's Lightsaber, Lilanna's Armor, BG-400 Blaster Pistol.​

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She stayed on Corin's shoulder for a long moment, listening to the woman's words, enjoying the sensation of warmth that she gave off. It felt nice to be vulnerable once more. She felt Corin's arms tighten, embracing her tighter, forcing out the last of her tears. Corin said she was one of them, and knowing just how much she prided her Ultranauts, it made her feel...something. Acceptance? It was an alien feeling, though it certainly felt nice. "I don't plan on trying again." She said softly, finally feeling she was done feeling sorry for herself, the Warden slowly moving back to look upon her friend, blinking her eyes as the remnants of her tears had made a mess of things.​

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She bit her lip, hearing what the Ultranaut had to say. Trying to live? She had heard these words before, though where, she wasn't certain. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, and caught Corin's hand moving to wipe a single tear that stubbornly clung to her cheek. The faint touch brought back memories of a happy time. When she didn't know the force, or hardship, or what a Sith was outside of the horror stories she had heard as a child. Her arms slowly withdrew from Corin, wrapping around her chest, rubbing her arms as the lack of Corin's warmth made her aware of just how cold the room was. That was the hospital for you. "I...do hope we can do that, together, you know? Living, that is." Her voice was soft, sounding almost nostalgic to the former Sith. Her leg was gone, but at least she still had her friend. There where times when she didn't even had that, and it was in that moment she came to a conclusion.​

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She could live with this.​

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She smiled for once, her cheeks taking on a tinge of pink as the pair seemingly stared at one another for what felt like a long moment. She wasn't sure what to say now, let alone what to do. "I don't suppose you have a jacket?" She asked meekly, unable to bring herself to break the eye contact.​

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It was nice to not feel alone anymore.​

 

[Corin Autem]

Location: Bastion, Med Facility
Tags: Lilanna Kelamvor

Smiling, Corin nodded at Lil's words. "Good." She didn't fancy fighting the cyborg again either. Once had been enough. Withdrawing, the Ultranaut leaned back as her friend broke off the hug for good. Despite the tears, it seemed the Apprentice had finally managed to find her center, steadying her emotions enough to at least look Cor in the eye. Waiting expectantly as Lil crossed her arms across her chest, the Ultranaut's smile widened at her next words. Tilting her head to one side, Cor studied Lil. The woman had some colour to the cheeks, and the way she smiled left the captain with a warm feeling in her chest. That was... different.

Welcome though. Definitely welcome.

"Together? Are you coming onto me, Miss Kelamvor?" Grinning, the Ultranaut couldn't help but tease her friend. Something similar had occurred the first time they'd met. If memory served, the cyborg's mentor had been the subject of their conversation then. The image of Lil going a bright red flashed across her mind's eye, and for a moment, Cor was on the verge of laughter.

Fighting the urge, she shook her head at Lil's question, glad for the distraction. "None at hand, no. You could borrow mine." A pause. "Wanna borrow mine?" She asked, already halfway through the process of unzipping her hoodie. "It's alright if you do. I'm warm enough already, and there's a commissary just down the hall in case I fancy another caffe." Sliding the hoodie from her shoulders, Cor held it out to Lil almost reverentially. "Speaking of caffe... Want one? Might wake you up some, make it a bit easier to, uh, mull things over."

 

[Lilanna Kelamvor]

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SKIPPING LEG DAY​

Location: Bastion, Unknown Medical Facility​

Tags: Corin Autem​

Equipment: Lilanna's Lightsaber, Lilanna's Armor, BG-400 Blaster Pistol.​

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It was nice to see Corin smile. The Warden couldn't recall the last time she had seen it. It was nice. Like Corin. She noticed the woman tilting her head to the side, eyeing her, something was causing that smile but what could it be? When those words left Corin's mouth, Lilanna's eyes widened, clicking into place how the Ultranaut came to that conclusion, and immediately her face turned scarlet. "N-No, that was not my intention!" She attempted to defend herself, but the damage was already done. The Ultranaut got the best of her.​

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Regardless, Corin seemed to have heard her question about a jacket, and was in the middle of removing it. Much to Lil's appreciation. "I'd appreciate it. It feels cold enough to put someone in Carbonite." She never could stand the cold. The Warden took the hoodie, and slipped it on, ignoring the mess of wires that were still connected to her and getting caught up on the fabric. It felt nice, a little baggy, but nice. Corin was a bit taller than her, and muscular, so it was to be expected.​

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The offer for coffee prompted a good question for Lil, as she mulled over what she might desire. A coffee might make her mind clear up a tad. "If you wouldn't mind, I could go with a black coffee." She said, moving to sit up, trying to move her leg to the side, but it felt off. Why didn't she feel her right le-. The realization hit once more, as Lilanna's eyes went back to the stump that was were her leg had been. Her smile faulted, reality tricking back in, as she slowly let herself sink back into the bed.​

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This was going to take some getting used to. "I'll just take a black coffee, I'll be alright." She said quietly, her eyes moving to stare at the ceiling, processing the thoughts that slowly came back in. At least she had Corin here to talk to.​

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[Corin Autem]

Location: Bastion, Medical Facility
Tags: Lilanna Kelamvor

I'll be alright, Lil said, the old shock creeping into her voice. Corin eyed her worriedly, disbelief causing her to frown. As good as words sometimes were, they wouldn't help all that much right now. Reaching out for Lil's hand, the Ultranaut gave it a reassuring squeeze, her gaze betraying what she really felt. "I'll go get you that coffee," she said, turning away before her face could reveal just how deep the concern went. Standing, she made for the door. Pausing at the threshold, she gave her friend one last look before stepping out into the hallway.

Leaning her back against the wall, she let out a sigh of relief as the door hissed closed, shielding her from view.

"Well, that could've gone better." Pushing off, she made for the commissary, passing two doctors as she did. They were wrapped up in their work, chatting together like a pair of old-timers reliving the past. One of them held a datapad in his hand and was scrolling through some document, his eyes glued to the screen. Cor had to make way to avoid getting bumped into. She didn't mind. They did important work here, helped people that needed helping. People like Lilanna. Before long, she made it to the commissary. Heading over to the dispenser, she took two disposable bulbs from a stack and went about making coffee- one for her with milk and sugar, and black for Lil.

"Guess she's sweet enough." The Ultranaut spoke into the silence, the ancient joke making her smile wanly. Shaking her head, she picked up the bulbs and headed back the way she'd come, her footsteps loud in the near-empty hallways. Lil was right. It was cold; she hadn't really noticed before. Shrugging, Cor carried on. She had been through worse, and if needs be, they could always crank up the AC in the room. It was no big deal. Knocking on the door, the Ultranaut watched as it opened, an amused glint in her eyes.

"Room service!" She called, walking over to Lil's bedside and taking her seat back. Passing off the bulb with Lil's coffee in, Cor took a sip of her own. The steaming liquid burnt the roof of her mouth as it went down, and a for a moment she was on the edge of swearing. Looking at Lil, she smiled her well-practiced smile. "Credit for your thoughts?"

 

[Lilanna Kelamvor]

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SKIPPING LEG DAY​

Location: Bastion, Unknown Medical Facility​

Tags: Corin Autem​

Equipment: Lilanna's Lightsaber, Lilanna's Armor, BG-400 Blaster Pistol.​

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As Corin left the Warden to herself, Lilanna was left with the sounds of her medical machines to fill the silence. Her eyes remained on the stump, trying to move the leg that was no longer there, and was rewarded with absolutely nothing. She swore she could feel her leg moving at the end of the body part, yet her eyes told her there was nothing there to move. She ceased the attempt after a moment, attempting to sit up now, moving closer to the edge of the bed, and tentatively placing her left foot on the floor. She winced at the icy cold touch of the tile, and recoiled her foot at first, but slowly, she coaxed herself into trying once again.​

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She took in a breath, her hands gripping the rail as she began to lean forward, putting weight onto her leg, and rising. It felt odd, feeling all the weight being placed on her remaining leg, the Warden wincing as she had to balance herself on the single leg, the limb not in it's best shape after who knew how many days of bed rest. She stumbled a tad, trying to maintain something akin to balance, and for a moment forgot she only had the one leg. She attempted to step forward, and nearly fell flat on her face. The woman fell forward, only catching herself on the railing and managing to slam her body back against it. She swore quietly to herself, her monitor beeping at her as the strain of nearly following caused her heart rate to rise. She managed to calm herself however, and as the door opened to reveal Corin, the Warden had just managed to sit herself back into the bed; her one leg still hanging off the side of the bed.​

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She smiled, her forehead slightly damp with perspiration, as she took the cup from her friend. "Thanks." She said quietly, taking the drink and letting the warmth seep into her palms. She wanted to keep the little incident to herself, but perhaps Corin saw through the conflict on her features. The Warden glanced up to the woman, taking an experimental sip from the coffee, and would let out a sigh. "Just....don't know where I'm going is all." She said quietly, setting the drink in her lap, looking to the woman as he hands disappeared into the sleeves of her hoodie. "I feel like I've been running scared for years Corin, now I'm missing a leg and-" 'Don't you dare mention me.' The voice in her head gave her pause, a pulse struck at the back of her head, like someone swatting her in the neck. 'Tell her about me, and I'll kill you here and now.' It threatened, a tension built in Lil's chest, pressure swelled around her heart for a moment, before ceasing.​

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Her eyes widened in horror at this revelation, and the Warden was left at a bit of a loss. "I don't know where to go from here." She managed to stumble out, looking to the Ultranaut once more, a silent plea for help lingering within her eyes now. "Without Nyxie, I'm just alone now."​

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Well, not entirely, but the voice in her head was anything but cooperative.​

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[Corin Autem]

Location: Bastion, Medical Facility
Tags: Lilanna Kelamvor

Corin watched Lil out of the corner of her eye as she blew on her steaming coffee. Alone in the room together, the Ultranaut was content to just sit quietly by her friend's side. No doubt Lilanna would need time to come to terms with all that had happened, figure out a way forward from here. Cor was more than happy to help guide her, if that was even possible. She wasn't sure. Glancing sideways, she gave her friend a gentle nudge with her shoulder. "Me neither, but we'll manage somehow." Sipping her coffee, she let Lil continue on. Perhaps airing her thoughts and feelings would allow the cyborg to get a better grasp on her situation, help ease along the process of recovery.

That was the hope anyway.

Looking up, Cor sought her friend's gaze as she openly admitted she didn't know where to go next. Smiling, the Ultranaut shrugged. "You have more options than you think, Lil. The Empress, for one. She was there in the Nether when you-... when I did that to you." Pointing at the stump that had once been Lil's leg, Corin shook her head apologetically. Feelings she'd thought she'd quashed came surging back up, and for a moment she had to look away. Guilt, plain and simple. Oh, how she hated it.

Running a hand through her hair, and clearing her throat, the Ultranaut looked back to her friend.

"There are companies out there that cater to the needs of veterans who've lost limbs in battle. Cybernetics. Prosthetics. I know for a fact that there are replacements out there just as good as the originals, if you catch my drift." The words felt wrong leaving her mouth, insensitive, but they were out there now. No going back. "I'm sure that the Empress could help you with that. And if I can help? Well, you need only ask. It's the least I could do."

 

[Lilanna Kelamvor]

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SKIPPING LEG DAY​

Location: Bastion, Unknown Medical Facility​

Tags: Corin Autem​

Equipment: Lilanna's Lightsaber, Lilanna's Armor, BG-400 Blaster Pistol.​

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Her head dipped down a tad as Corin spoke, her hand coming up to trace over the burn scars that still lined the side of her face. Yea, they did always manage somehow. Well, she did at least. The nudge from Corin caused a small smile to come over her face. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.​

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Her eyes looked up to Corin, hearing she wasn't alone. She wished she could say something more positive, but unfortunately, she couldn't think of anything aside from dreary thoughts. Poor Corin had to deal with a mopey Warden. "I'm just a mere Warden, the Empress probably doesn't even recognize my efforts unfortunately. Least for you, she's more likely to read the action reports. Your people do the real hard work and me-" She paused, trying to think how to address the limb comment. "Don't feel bad about the leg, please." Her voice faltered, looking back to Corin. "If it was the other way around Corin, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself." That much was true. She knew she deserved it after all, being former Sith and all. "I've done worst to others." She muttered, hoping those words went unheard.​

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Corin tried to deflect, moving to talking about how she could replace her leg, but at a certain level Lil didn't want something like that. But it just wasn't practical to try and get by missing a leg, her duties just couldn't be complete them in this state. "You've already done enough Corin." She said softly, her hands coming together in her lap, coming just short of where the cup rested between her legs.​

​

​

This was just another road that she was going to have to overcome. At least in this case she still had most of her face intact. Though her biggest hurdle by was getting rid of the voice in her head.​

 

[Corin Autem]

Location: Bastion, Medical Facility
Tags: Lilanna Kelamvor

Tilting her head to one side, Cor listened to Lil, a confused expression passing over her features for all of a second before they returned to their natural state of neutrality. "What the hell's a Warden?" She asked, but the cyborg's words rolled over her own, and Cor had no choice but to let it go. It was something they could address at a later date; no doubt she was making more of it than she should've. Drinking her coffee, she couldn't help but frown as Lil told her not to worry about the leg. Bit late for that, Lilanna. I'm here. "Easier said than done," the Ultranaut replied, her tone level, "but I'll try. No promises."

Drawing up her legs, Corin turned so she could sit facing Lilanna. The bulb of coffee clasped firmly in her hands, she smiled a humorless smile at what came next.

"Good thing it's not the other way round, then." Shaking her head, she listened on. The smile remained, but there was a touch of sadness to it now. Fellow feeling for her friend, maybe. Or something more. She didn't bother revealing which. "And so you see this as some sort of punishment, huh? Honestly think you deserve to suffer for past mistakes? Or recent ones, for that matter." Waiting a second for a reply, the Ultranaut carried on. "Hate to break it to you, Lil, but you don't. Least that's how I feel. Course, how I feel doesn't 'xactly change how you feel, more's the pity."

Downing her coffee, Corin placed the empty bulb aside. Words, as it so happened, weren't her strong suit, but she had tried. That, at least, would have to be enough. Probably won't be though, she thought with a resigned sigh. Never is.

 

[Lilanna Kelamvor]

.​

​

SKIPPING LEG DAY​

Location: Bastion, Unknown Medical Facility​

Tags: Corin Autem​

Equipment: Lilanna's Lightsaber, Lilanna's Armor, BG-400 Blaster Pistol.​

​

Lilanna's mind went blank as Corin inquired about what a Warden was, and the woman kicked herself at the back of her mind. Truthfully, she had forgotten about the secrecy of the order with all the gloom that was currently wrapping around her mind in the moment. She went for what her comrades had always referred to their job as, the way to conceal it from their fellows within the Empire. "It's just another name for my work." She stuttered out, hoping that perhaps Corin wouldn't notice. Seeing that Corin was giving her totally undivided attention, Lilanna studied the features of her friend, her sensory abilities detecting the shift towards sorrow as Corin reacted to the leg comment; as if the frown wasn't evident enough.​

​

At least she was going to try. That was all Lilanna could ask.​

​

Corin attempted to comfort her with her feelings of guilt, though it was something that the Warden couldn't accept. Looking to Corin, Lilanna's eyes focused, wondering if perhaps she could explain why she felt the way she did, reveal that little bit about herself that so many others didn't know. She figured it wouldn't hurt. After all, Corin had saved her life when by every right she should have taken it. "I've got skeletons in my closet, a few truthfully." She said softly, her hand taking the cup out from between her legs, and with a small bit of strain, she grasped it with her mind and carefully placed it on the nightstand across from her. Even the small effort left her feeling a bit fatigued. She made a mental note to herself, she still needed to take it slowly. "I don't usually share this with people Corin, but I know I can trust you." She paused for a moment, her words becoming stuck in her throat, though she managed to push through. "I was the apprentice to a Sith Lord, Darth Levos. He was sadistic, his body had been raddled with scars and from that pain, he drew his power. He believed everyone else should share in his mindset, so he made it an effort to routinely punish me, trying to make me tap into the same source as him." Her hand moved upwards, tracing the scar tissue that had been faded away with time and medicine, yet the remnants of past cruelties clung to her still. "Some of the people I killed for him deserved it, but many did not. I want to say I did it out of loyalty, but in truth it was because I was scared of the pain, terrified of what would happen if I displeased him." Her eyes slowly dropped, not wanting to see if Corin's expression had changed towards her. Well if it did, she'd rather deal with it later. "I tortured for him, broke for him, did whatever I could just to go unpunished." She bit into her lip, her hands firmly clasping her legs. "Then everyone wants to call me a hero, and say that I'm on the right side I-" Her voice faltered, though Lilanna pushed through, with a shake of her head she finished her statement. "I just feel like it's because they don't know what I did, who I was, and why I am how I am." She muttered to gaze still fixated towards the floor.​

 

[Corin Autem]

Location: Bastion, Medical Facililty
Tags: Lilanna Kelamvor

"Everyone's got a few of those, Lil. I shouldn't think too much on it." Cor said, keenly aware that her words had no effect whatsoever on the guilt-ridden Lil. Leaning forwards, the ultranaut clasped her hands in her lap. It seemed Lilanna had something to say, and for once Corin decided not to interrupt. Instead she listened as her friend began to open up to her, bit by bit. The tale she told left Corin speechless. That was becoming far too common these days. "I see." Was all she managed to say, and that in a tone that hinted at the complete opposite.

Leaning back, Corin fought to keep the pity and the hatred from her face as she tried to process what she'd just heard. Was it hatred for Lil and what she'd done that made her frown so? Or was it for her old Master and what he'd forced Lil to do? She couldn't say. Hell, she wasn't sure she wanted to know. Using her arms to lever herself away, Cor angled her legs off the bed, sliding until she felt the soles of her feet touch the cold floor. The sensation was enough to ground her -literally- and for a long time she didn't say anything.

The rhythm of the monitors revealed that Lil was having a hard time processing it, too. Her heart rate had picked up somewhere along the way. During the telling? Afterwards? Who could say. "I can see why you don't tell people that." Corin said, her voice toneless as she risked a glance at Lil. The guilt and sadness in her friend's eyes was nearly enough to undo the ultranaut. Glancing away, she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "How old were you when-... y'know?" Cor asked, hardly aware that she was even saying anything. Anger or something akin to it swelled up in her chest as her words filled the near-silence. Like always, it threatened to drown out everything else.

She got it under control before that could happen. Funnily enough, she had practice when it came to controlling her emotions.

"Actually, never mind. Don't answer that." Turning, Corin took the time to study her friend's face, and the anguish displayed there. "You, uh, kill this Darth Levos? Cause it's pretty fething clear to me you're not the monster he tried to turn you into. On the contrary, the Lilanna I know- have known has been pretty adamant in her refusal to accept that as her lot in life." Smiling, Cor tried to hold the expression, all the while wondering if Lil would see how hollow it was. She probably would. "Speaking of which, you've done a better job than most, Lil. Most don't try to change their ways like you have."

Taking the cyborg's hand, Cor gave it a squeeze. That was okay, right? It felt okay. "I don't think there's any justifying what you did, but it seems to me you had little choice at the time. The only alternative was death and, well, that's a difficult choice to make at the best of times. For people like you. And for people like me, too."

 

[Lilanna Kelamvor]

.​

​

SKIPPING LEG DAY​

Location: Bastion, Unknown Medical Facility​

Tags: Corin Autem​

Equipment: Lilanna's Lightsaber, Lilanna's Armor, BG-400 Blaster Pistol.​

​

At first, Lilanna thought that perhaps Corin was enraged at her. Not that she could blame the woman, after all, the Sith had destroyed so many lives. The thought saddened her, knowing that perhaps her past was too much for someone to overlook. Then again, Corin wasn't like most people, so perhaps it shouldn't have been a surprise.​

​

She nearly answered her friend as she inquired as to how old she was, and the memory flashed violently at the back of her mind. Being seventeen, drug through the academy grounds on Korriban, and how they had beaten her as a way to 'welcome' the new recruit to their ranks. Perhaps she could regale Corin about her time as a spoiled little girl living in the Nar Shaddaa high rises, before all of that had been taken away from her. She felt the eyes of Corin be put upon her, though the Ultranaut didn't pass judgement, perhaps sympathy?​

​

"No, I...I couldn't fight him, he was too strong. The last time I contested him, he gave me that lung implant." She muttered. "It was still me who did those things Corin. My hands are soaked in blood." The sides of her lips tightened, repressing the scowl that she wanted to show, though knew that she deserved to feel no such pity at current. An odd sensation snapped her out of these thoughts, the warmth of a hand taking her own. Initially, the sensation was an unknown to the Warden, though as she realized that Corin was the source of the feeling, she relaxed. The sorrow in her eyes broke away, with the illusion of hope seemingly set underneath. "I just didn't want to be like them Corin. They hurt me so badly, even before the slavery-" She stopped, the faint sting of hot metal on her wrists was an all to familiar pain. It had faded with time, as did the marks, though now and again she could still feel the pain washing over her skin. She squeezed the hand back, taking comfort in the closeness that it brought her. "My father was a slaver, you know? It's what got me taken by the Sith but...that's always bothered me, how nice of a life I had while my father was ruining everyone elses." Her eyes remained fixated on Corin, hoping that acceptance would still be there as she opened up on her past, before letting the silence fall, and the droning of her medical machine filling the air.​