Auction Rusty's Custom Arms and Armament Auction: FK-22P

[Rusty]

Force users are hard to kill. Their glowsticks are annoyingly good at blocking blaster bolts, and individual bullets are rarely a threat. There are a number of schools of thought as to the best way of eliminating them, but most of them boil down to either overwhelming brute force, or hire another FU to do your dirty work.

The FK-22P submachine gun is an attempt to find an alternate solution.

Rather than using massive explosive rounds or hiring outside contractors, it uses little bullets hurled in tremendous numbers to overwhelm the Force User's defenses. Individually, each bullet is weak, but that's okay, because you've got a boatload of its buddies right behind it. This sucker can throw out a ridiculous amount of lead in a very short span of time, and because the bullets have next to no recoil, you can control where they go with pinpoint precision, albeit over short distances. Or you can just hose the sucker down and hope for the best.

This week, we're auctioning off 3 FK-22Ps. As usual, we won't be accepting money or goods for bids. This week, the bids are limericks. For anyone who isn't familiar, limericks are short poems made up of five lines, three long and two short. An example (author unknown):

There once was a woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night

All the best limericks are somewhat bawdy, but remember to keep it PG-13. Nothing graphically sexual (which rules out most of the ones about a man from Nantucket) or violent. Maximum of five bids per person. The best three (not necessarily the funniest, though most good limericks are humorous) bids will win. The auction will end on Wednesday (March 3) at 1400 EST.

Good luck.

 

[Kaili Talith]

Once upon a time there was a small droid.
People often likened him to Sigismund Freud.
It was often he'd slip.
And down stairs he would trip.
Little would they know, his warranty's now void.

 

[Maple Harte]

There once was a girl named Uri.

Her blaster bolts moved in a hurry.

At Mimban she lost it.

Her mind's a leaky faucet.

But she still has her staff so no worry.

 

[Jorga the Hutt]

To compensate like a Dark Lord
Acquire a long rigid sword
Become a big shot
Create a dreadnought
As phallic as you can afford

 

[Jorga the Hutt]

The Iron Imperial fleet
Weren't really a salvager’s treat
Cheap, flimsy and vain
But it sure was a pain
To watch their last petty retreat

 

[Jorga the Hutt]

True power will uglify Sith
Though pretty ones call it a myth
If you see a shiny
Or taut rounded hiney
Assume it's a weak Sith forthwith

 

[Matt the Radar Tech]

Kur likes your choice of gun
It will offer him tons of fun
He'd love to play
With this all day
Can Kur now have one

 

[Maple Harte]

There once was a Jedi named Rur

He'd thought his droid would be a hit for sure

The details are hazy

But his droid went crazy

Now Palpatine owns whats left of the cur

 

[Jak Sandrow]

#1

I once told puns to a kid
Working in a hospital in Madrid
I got the whole staff
To help make him laugh
But unfortunately no pun in ten did.

 

[Maple Harte]

There once was a Jedi named Anakin

The thought of a dead wife sent him panickin'

So he burned down his home.

Ended up cooked, and alone.

And these days he walks and stands stiff like a mannequin.

 

[Darth Ophidia]

Did'yu hear about that fella called Rusty?
Oh, his feet smelled awfully musty!
But he makes a neat gun,
And he likes rhymes and fun
So who cares if his memory core's dusty?

 

[Jak Sandrow]

#2

For weapons, guns, trinkets galore
Go check out the RC Double-A store
A gun that goes 'poot'
A sword that will shoot
All of these weapons and more!

 

[ToKola Bakari]

lemme tell you all about my main bot, named [member="Rusty"]

He had alllll the female bots, who were both thin and busty.

He had a date with one bot

and it ended in glee

because the next morning she had to use a plan usb.

 

[Zaiden Dean]

There once was a special auction,
I kid it's a dozen, shockin',
Rusty does love to sell,
Nightmares from hell,
....but frak it what the heck can stop 'im?

 

[Maple Harte]

There once was a fellow named Solo,

He was suave and charmng, and shot Greedo low,

He then met a princess,

And true love led to consensus,

But it turned out Ben Solo just liked too much being Kylo.

 

[Hyben Trasse]

Ronin was looking for some fun
Preferably not resulting in a son
Several drinks later
And a rather rude waiter
And Ronin now had a new gun

 

[Maple Harte]

There once was a girl named Nabarrie,

Who was attracted to bad boys like frats to a party,

One chopped off hand later,

Their marriage a crater,

And now her heartbreak is too strong and hardy.

 

[Mythos]

Twas I was I will be now

But i never did remember how

My heart was broken like a guitar string

faster than autumn leaves by the wind

So to remember how, I now Sing.

-G.V.G

 

[Darth Ophidia]

#2.

Did'ya hear 'bout the Emperor Zambrano?
His wife has got quite the soprano!
But the Emperor himself
Can't quite sing like an elf.
So instead he plays grand piano.

 

[Maple Harte]

To the Millenium Falcon we shall all skip,

At a twelve parsec run, you bet its a fast ship.

Knocked Vader off his game,

Kylo Ren thinks it lame,

But it survived three superweapons, so don't give it lip.