Regaining Memories {Circe}

[Antoir Setrrin]

Ship. Sometimes I forgot the loveable lass was an empath. Placing a gentle hand on her shoulder I leaned forward and planted a little kiss on her cheek before answering. "I'm fine darling. Everything is fine. I love you, and that's all that matters." Mid-sentence my voice cracked, and I had to bite back a swear or two. Letting out a little sigh I took another sip of the drink, trying to do my best to smile. Quit lying to yourself. It's just a possibility, not a fact. That's just what you want to think. That's what we want to think. Neither of us want it all to be lies. I simply have enough courage to face the truth. God, we're the same person. Stop acting like we're different people. Pushing the voice out of my head I sighed again, feeling a tad tired. "I've just been thinking... That's all..."

@[member="Circe Savan"]​

 

[Onrai]

"Ven... don't lie to me. Please, if something's wrong, tell me." While Circe truthfully did not wish for her night with Ven'Rain to be interrupted by psychic backlash, if Ven wasn't doing so well mentally, things would potentially get pretty bad. She knew from experience how awful the mad merc could be when made insane. With that, she kissed her lover on the lips, a soft sigh eliciting from in between them.

"What's wrong, Ven? I want to know so I can help..."

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]

 

[Antoir Setrrin]

Like any other time I was nervous, I bit my lower lip, gently tugging at the skin. Truthfully I didn't want to ruin our night together... but she had a right to know how I was feeling. And preventing a return to insanity was top priority. I never wanted things to go back to the way they were before. "There's... There's this thing in psychology. Sometimes when... when something happens, our brain has to release extra chemicals to keep us from going crazy. A-and it... it makes our thoughts go fuzzy. Often when someone, like me, gets seriously injured, or loses their memories, we start to... to feel distant. Other times we're saved from something. Whoever makes us feel alive again, or saves us, we, well we get attached. Very, very attached. For awhile they become our... definition of sorts. All we want is to make them happy. Many times the injured one starts to believe... that he or she loves their savior, even if they don't really... As time, as time moves on, their brain calms down, starts to function normally again. That's when they realize they never really loved anyone at all..." I quieted, letting her take in everything that had been said. Instinctively I let my hand wrap around hers, knowing she might get emotional after hearing what I told her. After I moment I continued, needing to finish my explanation. "Part of me... part of me is worried that I've only been having feelings for you because you rescued me. From my coma, from my insanity, and from my waking illnesses. Things have been... slowing down between us. I'm sorry Circe... I'm not breaking up with you, just... voicing my concerns... God, I hope I'm wrong. Honestly. I love you. I love loving you. I...I love us..."
That was painful. I kissed her on the forehead before squeezing her hand, nervously awaiting a response.

@[member="Circe Savan"]​

 

[Onrai]

"I love you too, Ven." She smiled, kissing her lover before pulling away for a moment. "Darling... I can tell you that before the accident, you and I had a relationship. A solid one too. Then you left, and..." Her voice fell silent. She felt that Ven didn't need to hear what she would have voiced verbally. "Your mind is still remembering what the Omegans told you. It isn't true, darling..." She sighed, curling up with Ven as a tear began to form in the corner of her eye. "I'm not going to lose you. Not again. Not when you and I have a son together. I have so much of my love in you... and I just can't be without you anymore."

She hoped Ven wouldn't leave her. She loved the woman too much.

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]

 

[Antoir Setrrin]

Our relationship was rocky at best before the accident. At least according to my journals... I wasn't going to tell her, but a lot of it seemed one-sided. Like she had always cared more for me then I did for her. It hurt, stung even, to know. Circe cared so much, and I wasn't even sure that my affection was real. Still I held her, gently stroking her hair as I tried to comfort her. "I don't want to hurt you, ever... But if I really only thought I love you... wouldn't that hurt more? I-I... I'm not going to leave you, not now. I can't guarantee the rest of my life. I can't even assure you I'll be here next week. But I can tell you that I'll be with you today, tomorrow, and the day after. I still care about you. I love you. And I'll never do anything to purposely hurt you, I promise," I said, holding her close.

@[member="Circe Savan"]​

 

[Onrai]

"You. Do. Love. Me. You are the Ven that I knew before the accident, my love. Don't be so negative towards yourself - these feelings you have towards me are real. You were only just beginning to explore such feelings as those when we first became intimate together. Now, though, our relationship has properly blossomed into the joyous coalescence of partnership that was intended for us. We're together, the way we should be, baby..."

Another loving embrace came to Ven, Circe also sharing a kiss on her lips. "Shall we have some fun?"

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]

 

[Antoir Setrrin]

Even though part of me still doubted my feelings, I blushed and nodded. "God, I love it when you talk like that," I replied, happily planting a kiss on her lips. If this love proves to be temporary, it's best to enjoy it while it lasts, and to make sure she does as well. But I honestly do hope it's real... Because I've never been happier in my life... As I pulled away I grinned, feeling so much better then I had seconds ago. "And yes, let's have a marvelous time. After all, that is why we came here, isn't it?" I continued, smile broadening.

@[member="Circe Savan"]​

 

[Onrai]

"So true." Another sip, another kiss, and the two women went back out to the dance floor. The Vinithi smiled, grinding up against her partner as the two women enjoyed one another's company. And yet... Circe felt as though Ven was still worrying about those memories of here that had yet to resurface. Perhaps it was time to end this once as for all...

"Ven... Do you want the answer?"

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]

 

[Antoir Setrrin]

We kissed, we danced, we enjoyed. Though, as Circe seemed to notice, I still held doubt. Very, very troublesome. So when she asked if I wanted the truth, I immediately knew my answer. But how was she going to know? It confused me. But knowing something was better then knowing nothing at all. "Yes... please," I replied. Before she responded I gave her a little kiss, trying to reassure her. It would be alright... I loved her, right?

@[member="Circe Savan"]​

 

[Onrai]

"Then let me repair your mind." That was really the only thing Circe could do for her, after all. If Ven wanted her memories back, the ability to truly determine if she was in love with Circe or not, the Sith woman would be more than willing to do that for Ven. "If it's the one thing that'll give your mind peace, I'll take you in for surgery soon, and we can repair your brain so you don't end up slowly falling into madness again."

That was the one thing that scared Circe most with regards to Ven - her growing crazy again.

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]

 

[Antoir Setrrin]

I wanted to get better, I really did. But I did not want to remember everything. Hell, I did not want to remember anything. There were some things that I had gone through that were better left forgotten. What if it made me go mad again? What if I went right back to the way I had been before? That's not what I want, and I doubt Circe wants it either. Was knowing if I really loved her worth the risk?... And even if I remembered how I felt before... there was the chance that my brain would still love her for making me 'alive' again... Even then it could all be fake... "I don't know. Perhaps we should just wait, let time tell if I really love you? If I do, then everything will be alright. If... If I don't, we'll figure it out. I'll be fine," I answered, smiling softly. I'll be fine. Trust me.

@[member="Circe Savan"]​

 

[Onrai]

"If that's what you want. I love you enough that I respect your choices, and will never try to force something upon you, darling." She smiled, gently running a finger underneath Ven's chin. "Would you be willing to do me a favor? I can tell this place is boring you... What say we go and have some more fun elsewhere?" A smirk crossed her pretty face as she gave the near-human a kiss. Why?

Because they both knew what fun was.

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]

 

[Antoir Setrrin]

Indeed. We had been together long enough to for me to understand what she meant by 'fun'. This was not the time for me to turn her down, nor was it a time that I wanted to do so. Quietly I pulled away from our kiss, wishing to verbally give my answer, even if it was already pretty obvious. "Yes. Yes please. That sounds delightful," I said, giving her another quick peck on the lips. Then I took her hand and started leading her towards the exit. After all, we couldn't have fun here. Well, not this type of fun at least.

@[member="Circe Savan"]​

 

[Onrai]

The two of them had just reached the hovercar when Circe resumed the kiss. The craft automatically returned them to the apartment, the two women kissing and hugging all the while. Circe smiled as the two of them moved to the bedroom. "You know, Ven... We should've just done this to begin with. Gotten a little drunk, started making out... I love it." She wrapped her legs around the larger woman's torso, continuing to kiss all over her face, her cheeks, her lips, and the underside of her neck.

She didn't care. She loved it.

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]

 

[Antoir Setrrin]

Circe had a point... It was better like this. Clubs weren't really my thing. And we could have just as much fun together. All we needed was some time and some alcohol. "I love it to. But I love you more then I love this," I said, trying to win cheesy points. Then our lips reconnected and well... magic happened. Now's not the time to go into detail, but I'll just say it was fun. Better then worrying about emotions and whatnot.
Much, much better.
{FIN}