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Regaining Memories {Circe}

Antoir Setrrin

I've Met My End
Character
Several hours had passed since I woke up. But still I lay here, unmoving except for each quiet breath I take. For in my dreams, something had stirred. Memories. Frames of a life that had been torn from my mind, moving pictures inside my head that I can't remember or place. Some had made me smile. Others had caused me to flinch or cringe. Out of everything they had made me feel, the most overwhelming of all was a swirling sense of confusion. A lack of recognition, understanding, or acceptance of what I saw. None of it looked familiar, yet my brain was telling me it had happened. I had killed. I had tortured. I had burned villages to the ground, never once stopping to regret my actions. And yet I had also loved, protected, and nurtured. Who was I? What the bloody hell had been wrong with me? So many questions and so little time...

The night before I had promised Circe that we'd go out today. Eat at a restaurant, drink a little wine, maybe just take a walk. Something along the lines of a date. Now I was rethinking that, to busy pondering my past to realize it was almost time to leave. Still I was in my sweats, laying on my stomach and mumbling nonsense. It probably wouldn't be long before my lover came in, wondering what was keeping me. At least this time would be better then the last, where I had been laying half naked on the floor due to faulty knees... Or maybe she wouldn't come. Maybe I'd just lay here forever, regaining memories and trying to separate them from dreams.
@[member="Circe Savan"]
 
It's Real to Pretend
Writer
"Well, Ven, what do you think?" The plant-woman had chosen to, for better lack of term, "wear her human skin" today. Her flesh was a nice shade of tan, contrasting well with her scarlet hair as she showed off the backless black dress she intended to wear. She smiled, coming over to Ven and giving her a soft kiss on the cheek as she moved to put on her shoes. Tonight was a night for them to go out, have fun, and enjoy life together. But she seemed downtrodden.

"Ven, what's wrong?"

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]
 

Antoir Setrrin

I've Met My End
Character
A sigh had just escaped my lips when Circe entered. Unsurprisingly, she looked wonderful, making my lips curl up in a hint of a smile. Though it was pretty odd to see her without the green skin. With the lighter... she reminded me a bit of my friend Ventasia, seeing as they were both redheads. Realizing I couldn't lay around and mope all day, I sat up, letting my blanket fall around me. Loose grey fabric hung around my torso, making up my slightly oversize tank top. One of the many I owned. Black sweat pants covered my legs, though they were hidden beneath the sheets. God, I liked like crap compared to her. Not that I usually look any better...

"Memories... And dreams. So many of both that I can't tell what's real and what's not. But there's so much that scares me, so much that feels so real but so wrong. The person I was before was a monster. I killed for fun, ended lives like it was nothing. All those moments that I seemed better, kinder, happier... they all feel so much like dreams, but I don't want them to be that... I want the good me to be real, not the heartless queen I apparently was... God, how the hell did anyone like me? How did I have 'friends'?... I'm sorry Circe, I know today was supposed to be our date night... and hopefully it still can be, I just... need a minute." Or an hour. Perhaps even a week just to comprehend half of what I learned... The more I learn about my past, the more I hate it.
@[member="Circe Savan"]
 
It's Real to Pretend
Writer
"Ven..." The soft sigh passed between Circe's lips as she sat down next to her lover and best friend. "I've known you for a long time now. That person you used to be... you know why you aren't her anymore? Why all those happy moments were real? Because I helped reforge you. I made you into a better person - fixed your implants, gave you a new arm, rejuvenated your flesh... Because I knew that the self-destructive path you were taking was in no way good for you. I love you enough that I would never want to see harm come to you as a result of my actions."

Gently, Circe placed her arm around the larger mercenary's waist. "Just remember that. I love you."

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]
 

Antoir Setrrin

I've Met My End
Character
As much as I cared about Circe, part of her statement annoyed me. It felt like she was claiming that she was the only reason I ever started to get better. That I had nothing to do with making myself a better person. That it was all her taking me apart, pulling out the old pieces and plugging in ones of her own design. A twinge of suspicion hit me for a moment, reminded of all the times I felt like she was just using me. Letting out a sigh I stayed silent, not really wanting to reply at the moment. Mentally I kept telling myself that it would be fine. We'd move past this little bump, and go back to being a nice, happy couple. This was just my old self acting up. And yet I couldn't stop myself from turning away from her, facing the wall with a pained expression.

No... she's not using you. C'mon Ven! Stop thinking everyone is out to get you! There are people that actually care, you're just to thick to realize it. Man up ya whiny little runt. Realize that the person who hates you the most is you. And that ain't right. Grow a pair. Start accepting yourself. Hell, become a karking egomaniac for all I care! Just stop fething things up because you're to damn worried that no one likes you. My mental pep talks never were very enjoyable. Especially this one... But I was right. Circe did care, right? I'm just being a troublesome childe who can't accept her past...
@[member="Circe Savan"]
 
It's Real to Pretend
Writer
"Ven... Are you having memory issues again?" Her question was straightforward as she placed a hand on the back of Ven's neck, attempting to feel for damaged portions of her mind sparking, creating flashes and dreams of "dead" memories. "Come on, Ven... I love you. If you have an issue, tell me and I'll help you fix it. I helped you with your implants, your arm, and your sanity before... if anything's wrong, I'll help you. Trust me, darling." She took her wife's hand, a symbol of her love for the mercenary as she eyed her over.

"I won't go out if you're not feeling up to it."

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]
 

Antoir Setrrin

I've Met My End
Character
Quietly I turned back, pulling my love into a hug. I wanted her to hold me as I held her. To just sit there for a minute, enjoying each other's company. For a moment I just sat there, letting my arms gently wrap around her. After taking a long, deep breath I gave her I little kiss on the forehead before responding. "Just the usual trouble of figuring out what's a memory and what's a dream.... And I love you to, I want to go out today. I just need to get my head together first," I said, trying to smile. I loved her, and I wanted to make her happy. As always I was my own last concern, to busy focusing on friends and family to take a moment for myself.
@[member="Circe Savan"]
 
It's Real to Pretend
Writer
"Let me help you, Ven. I'll know if what you are curious about is true or not. Trust me..." Her arms ran around those of her lover, gently embracing her as to show her empathy with Ven's situation. She cared about Ven too much to let her keep suffering this half-formed memory crisis.

"Ven... There is a chance we could restore your original memories. It's exceptionally dangerous, and would require a significant amount of plotting, but it's doable. If we could transfer your spirit, your soul into another body, we could perform an operation to repair your damaged neural tissue. But you're not Force-Sensitive, and unless I work hard enough to make you that way via Sith Sorcery, you'll never be stable enough to do such a thing. Only a process such as entechment or another Sith trained in Essence Transfer could successfully do such a thing."

Unfortunate, but true. Circe couldn't hold on to Ven's soul for more than five seconds before she expired from the shock.

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]
 

Antoir Setrrin

I've Met My End
Character
Knowing what was real and what was dreams sounded nice. But what if it only made me feel worse? What if most of the bad things were real, and not all the good ones were? I don't know if I'd be okay with that. Even so it was an intriguing offer... Perhaps one day I'd be curious enough to take her up on it. For now, I'd pass. After all, we had a date to go on. "I'll be fine, I promise. Now how about we go out, have some fun, and get ridiculously drunk?" I asked, grinning. It would be better to just get my mind off things, along with making some memories I'll be glad to remember. So before she could even respond I pulled her into a gentle kiss, my way of saying "Hey, I love you to."
@[member="Circe Savan"]
 
It's Real to Pretend
Writer
"Sounds fun to me." Circe's embrace of Ven grew ever more tender as she reciprocated the kiss, greatly enjoying it as the two women sat there, entwined in their own love. Eventually, though, Circe let go of her lover, standing up and sitting down in a nearby chair. "Now, get dressed in a nice outfit so we can go to a club, party, and get wasted. Sound like a plan? I'll be waiting."

She gave a soft chuckle, eager to see how hot Ven looked in her club attire.
 

Antoir Setrrin

I've Met My End
Character
There was a part of me that was greatly disappointed in the kiss' end. But I knew it was for the better, as if we sat here kissing all day, we'd never make it out on our date. Our hopefully wondrous date, to be exact. So pushing my moment of sadness aside I stood up. I wasn't going to go to a club in sweatpants. That would just be a little to weird, even for me. Even for this writer... Er, what? Walking over to my closet I opened it, looking through the clothes. Most of the contents were leather jackets, jeans, and tank tops. Apparently that was all I ever wore... Besides my suit for nice occasions, of course. After a minute I managed to find a cute top (a button up, plaid, and fleece shirt with various reds and blacks on it. One of my favorites), some semi-tight, partially ripped up black jeans, and nice dress shoes. I wasn't going to wear heels, as I was already plenty tall.

Setting the clothes on the bed I closed the closet and started to get dressed. I didn't mind Circe watching. I mean c'mon, it wasn't like she hadn't seen me like this before. In the end I left the two top buttons on my shirt undone and rolled up the sleeves, letting them rest at my elbows. It wasn't exactly a 'normal' club outfit, but I liked it. And hey, it fit both me and my personality. Turning to Circe I gave a little nod and said "Ta-da!"
@[member="Circe Savan"]
 
It's Real to Pretend
Writer
A soft smile hit Circe's face as she watched her partner dress for the occasion. Ven was right - it wasn't standard club wear, but it was something that fit Ven's personality of being the tough, manly female bodyguard. It was that person that Circe felt was sexy, regardless of the skin the clothes she wore revealed. "Well, shall we go?"

Slowly, Ven was led to Circe's speeder, where the two of them would head out to the strip, where all the clubs were. Circe intended for this to be a night she would never forget.

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]
 

Antoir Setrrin

I've Met My End
Character
With a little smile and chuckle I nodded, saying "We shall." And with that I followed my lover, heading to her speeder (likely one of many she owned). A minor part of me was nervous for a moment, remembering how my own speeder had failed me. But Circe wasn't as oblivious as I had been. She would know if something was wrong. Hell, she could use the force and probably prevent a crash mid-crisis. Just one of many reasons I loved her. So I relaxed, leaning back in my seat as we traveled. This night was going to be fun, I could tell. Beats regaining memories any day.
@[member="Circe Savan"]
 
It's Real to Pretend
Writer
Club Vertica was a nearby joint Circe had found to be delectable in her tenure, and with a soft smile, her arm around her lover as the door bouncer let her in. A soft sigh slipped from her lips as the brightly colored flashing lights touched their eyes for the first time in quite a while. Taking Ven's hand, the two women headed over to the dance floor where an upbeat tune was playing. The green-skinned woman smiled as she pressed up against her darling while dancing.

"You know, I'm so glad we have nightcare services for Darren..."

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]
 

Antoir Setrrin

I've Met My End
Character
Grinning I danced with her, enjoying the blaring music. Already a few people were looking at us, either admiring us or staring at my height. Some probably wondered what species I was. After all I was shorter than the average Null, but taller than the average human. Plus, there was the semi-pointy ears (not natural, of course). Eventually people looked away, either thinking they knew the answer or having given up. Didn't really matter to me. I was here with Circe, not them. "Same here. We might not be in the right... state to take care of him after this," I replied with a smirk, winking at my lover.
@[member="Circe Savan"]
 
It's Real to Pretend
Writer
"Agreed." The Vinithi Pureblood gave her partner a kiss, softly smiling as she moved towards the bar. "Two specials. I'm eager to try this place's drinks out." A grin was plastered on her face, growing even moreso as the drinks themselves arrived. Cordially, the plant-woman gave Ven her glass, clinking the two together.

"Here's to us, darling."

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]
 

Antoir Setrrin

I've Met My End
Character
"To us," I said with a smile, clinking my glass with hers. Smiling I took a sip, letting the burning liquid slide now my throat. It had been awhile since I had last consumed any alcohol. Boy, I had forgotten how good it was. Something told me this place didn't have the best, but then again, I could be pretty picky about my drinks sometimes.
@[member="Circe Savan"]
 
It's Real to Pretend
Writer
Circe downed her drink, the tarnished taste of alcohol stinging her throat and lips. She wasn't particularly fond of it, to be honest, though she held no true dislike for it and could drink both Ven and the rest of the party-goers under the table before she started to suffer from alcohol poisoning. Of course, she wasn't the sort of person to do something so brazen...

Even to her lover.

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]
 

Antoir Setrrin

I've Met My End
Character
A bold thought reached me as I finished the drink off, one that made me stop in my tracks. For a moment I stayed silent, trying to will the idea out of my head. No. Not true. Not it. Just a theory. I thought, closing my eyes as I took a deep breath. Another second passed and I relaxed, successfully eliminating the absurd thought. This was not the time to be thinking something like that. It was time to dance, to drink, and to spend time with the woman I loved. Even if it's just the accident talking? Shut up! That's just psychology, none of it makes any- Darling, you have no idea what the kark you're talking about. Which means you don't either. With that I shut myself up, and managed to fake a smile while I ordered another round.
@[member="Circe Savan"]
 
It's Real to Pretend
Writer
But the disconcerting feelings were still picked up. An unfortunate side effect of being an empath. "Ven, what's wrong? I can sense something isn't quite right with you." A soft sigh hit her face as she reached over, taking the next glass of alcohol. The feeling was really starting to prod at her mind, and well... it hurt. It hurt significantly to feel the sadness, frustration, or just plain enigmity of the situation Ven was currently in.

Spectacular, absolutely spectacular...

@[member="Ven'Rain Sekairo"]
 
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