Private Re-Acquainting

[Josh Dragovalor]

TAG: Aayla Shan



Josh had been in and out of the Silver Jedi Order's ranks for a few years now. His journey to find the Syndicate took up much of his time, but he always came back. Now that he was appointed the Grandmaster of the Saber, his third stint as Grandmaster and second time with the Silver Jedi Concord, helping out the Silver Jedi was more important than ever. Their dire straits were why he had come out of his invasion-retirement for one more day to help out against the Bryn. It had been an exhausting endeavor after Josh had risked his life on that distraction, but reports of him being "out of commission" were... Greatly exaggerated. He was tired. Fatigued. He'd pushed himself far too hard, and had paid for it. But it wouldn't stop him from performing his regular duties. Once he had gotten a few days of rest, anyway.

Once he was back in the Rest, he had decided to go looking for one Aayla Shan, asking around for her whereabouts. She'd nearly had her head taken off during the battle, among other things. It couldn't hurt to check in on her.

 

[Aayla Shan]

His questions would've been the same, she was either in the archives reading away, or in the training rooms 'abusing' one of her peers. Aayla as well knew all too much how exaggerated things could be taken around here.

She would've been in the training room when he had begun his search though, wearing a quaint set of training attire, short pants, with what amounted to a sports bra to cover her bits. She had a personal daily gauntlet for herself. Running laps around the huge auditorium, every third lap was interceded by a forty foot rope climb; something she did without using her legs. Instead, she used upper body strength, getting herself up to the platform up above, and falling into a bear crawl immediately.

Sweat pouring from the small woman, she would quickly move in that position until she reached the edge of the platform, kicking off into a front flip onto a smaller platform, one that took more precision to land properly, with each successive jump requiring more precision; the final one was impossible to stand on, and was literally meant to strengthen ones ability to land off center. Even if she missed it, she would recover, able to roll in any direction and pop back to her feet expertly.

Aayla was on her seventh go around, and would move to rest against the doorway for a moment. Stretching her calves and getting ready to continue.

It was only a few hours earlier she had asked Jax about the GrandMaster, she didn't expect him to catch up with her so fast, but she certainly owed him... Not just for essentially saving her life in a sense, but her... Emotions, during the battle. She would never forget that feeling, though she wanted nothing more to forget she had ever been that angry.

She had tapped into the Dark Side of the Force, there was no doubt in her mind. Crushing that Bryn'Adul like a bug... What scared her the most was the feeling of relief it brought. She wasn't scared of it, she just kept moving after it was done. After the fact however, it bugged her...

As far as her emotions regarding almost dying, it wasn't her first time... And she wasn't dead. She didn't need consolation in that regard, if anything she was ready to fight again; she wanted to hit the Bryn harder than they had hit them.


~~~

A few more laps done, and she would move to kneel at the mats that were at the entrance of the training area; closing her eyes and letting herself relax. Unaware that the Grand Master of the Order was looking for her specifically, she again tried to revisit what she was feeling on Charros IV. She had no dedicated teacher, Knight or Master, but had done good for herself. Taught enough to be a self sufficient Jedi that could manage her own emotions. Her first time in a warzone simply tested her...

Josh Dragovalor

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

TAG: Aayla Shan



Well at least it didn't take long to find her. Not wanting to disrupt her routine, the Jedi Master decided to take a seat, blending in with those preparing to use the facilities. He wasn't actually aware that Shan was a Padawan during the battle. She had fought well though, so he'd figured her a higher rank than she was. He'd only found out after asking around. He'd only taken the Grandmaster of the Saber position recently after all, and he was still surprised he'd been chosen by the other Masters considering he hadn't been around. So the least he could do was ensure he didn't disappoint. Still, knowing people were staying in their apprenticeship stages longer compared to years prior was a good sign to him. So many had been made Knights and even Masters well before they were ready to accept the responsibility -- including him. And they had paid for it. If Aayla was still a Padawan, that meant she still had things to learn and despite being in the middle of a war, the Silver Jedi had accepted that. That was made evident in the battle, and it showed the reason why she shouldn't have been Knighted just yet. He was grateful the other Masters had recognized this. That meant he could now move in and try to help her work on it.

She was a rigorous physical trainer, he could see how she'd gotten this far, he noted as he watched. But he'd learned the hard way that physical experience wasn't everything. She was talented, she'd get there. But it'd take time.

Once she had moved to rest, he walked over.

"Your emotions are conflicted. They radiate like a beacon" he brought up as he moved to sit down beside her on the mats. He crossed his legs as he stared forward, taking a deep breath. Was she perhaps revisiting that battle? How she felt during it?

"While I won't pry where my expertise isn't wanted... Would you be comfortable with telling me about them? Preferably sparing no detail."

 

[Aayla Shan]

Now where in the hell had he come from? Aayla had opened her eyes, blinking gray hues in his direction as the GrandMaster of the saber had suddenly appeared next to her. Someone she had no choice but to look up too. In a sense, it was a position she looked forward to someday... Secretly. The few friends she spoke to believed differently In a sense being a shadow was something that stuck out to her mainly because of the strange disappearance of her Master, and of course being autonomous in a sense to strike at the Sith, and other enemies where she pleased.

Perhaps, in her mind she felt as a shadow she could investigate the disappearance of her Master unimpeded as a shadow...

Anyway, the GrandMaster was there, and she felt suddenly... Embarrassed, a brief feeling that washed over her, and had nothing to do with how she was dressed in front of the other. No, instead the feeling of shame stemmed from the guilt of her feeling like he had sensed her tapping into the darkness.

"My apologies Master... The battle on Charros IV... I've never actually been in a warzone.,,

Aayla admitted, observing his actions, she followed suit without direction; sitting criss-cross, and rolling her shoulders to meditate. She didn't guard her miind, and Josh could feel just as she did... She didn't feel out into the Force, but left herself malleable. In a sense, it had been a long time since she had been this vulnerable with anyone...

Who was she to guard herself against the GrandMaster of the saber though? A man whose words from distance had given her such serenity, and peace? He spoke again, and with her eyes closed she would nod once.

"I was so... Excited, when they day started... My friend Ala had been hurt pretty badly by the Bryn'Adul... Forgive me, but I Wanted... I wante-..she paused then, not really wanting to say it, but aware he had told her to spare no detail.

"I had wanted revenge before I even stepped off The Pegasus, Master... Then, when I saw how they... Butchered others, for no other crime that living... I just wanted them all to die, I didn't care how" Aayla admitted, a light warble in the Force could be felt from her then. It was equally anger, and relief. The feeling of going over ones past mistakes.

"You saved me... Your words, if it weren't for you... I-.. I don't think I would be here now.."Aayla admitted, shoulders slouching at the thought, glancing over to the Master with a frown.

Josh Dragovalor
.

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

TAG: Aayla Shan



He casually waved when she finally saw him. He was patient so he hadn't minded her taking her time where need be. When he asked her to elaborate, she first brought up how it was her first time in a warzone. He nodded his head in understanding. "My first time was pretty scary. I ended up crossing blades with Darth Vazela. Not fun. Wouldn't recommend it. He was a jerk" he remarked with a small laugh. He noticed right away that she wasn't guarding her mind at all, and he had the impression that this was intentional. Interesting. She didn't reach out into the Force at all, just left herself vulnerable. Let him sense her feelings as she kept speaking.

Revenge. That was what this was about. Now he understood. It was such an easy feeling to fall into. "I'm sure almost every Jedi has felt the want for revenge" Josh brought up to Aayla. He had saved her? Well, he was glad he had been able to help he supposed. He just did what he thought was right. And what he hoped would help. The honor was his if it succeeded. "Something that a lot of Jedi, from our leaders down to our Padawans need to learn... Is that we are not tools of war, we are not machines. Jedi are people. Are we supposed to hold ourselves to an incredibly high standard for the sake of others? Of course. But that doesn't mean we are meant to look at each other, or at ourselves, as less of a person for feeling normal, human emotions. In the past, Jedi strongly discouraged expressing emotions or forming attachments. But that logic is flawed, and is part of why many fallen Jedi say embracing the dark side felt so freeing, when really... All they were doing was embracing things that our Order once forbade for misguided reasons, instead of the dark side."

As he had found out, the dark side was a far worse set of chains than the Jedi of old could ever be. But they never realized it until it was too late.

"So don't feel too down. I'm sure every Padawan goes through this eventually. You'll never stop feeling that desire when bad things happen, because you're a person. Pretending you shouldn't be capable of feeling it is unhealthy" he expressed in turn. "But there is a difference between being forbidden from feeling it, and controlling it. What you do need to learn is to temper those feelings and emotions. There is a time and place for those emotions. But the most important thing is controlling them... And not letting them control you. You need to find your balance. There are two holes that people fall in. Jedi who distance themselves from their emotions... And Sith who become slaves to them. Find your center. In a battle, a state of calm can be the difference between life and death."

He gave a bittersweet smile.

"But as far as revenge goes... That's something you can feel, but probably shouldn't pursue. That's a rabbit hole you don't wanna go down."

 

[Aayla Shan]

The GrandMaster of Saber didn't disappoint, from the second he had opened his mouth, she was enthralled; hearing his theory, and his view, she could only continue kneeling their, the sweat that was dripping from her eventually slow to a halt. Using both hands, she briefly ran her hands down her face, gray hues peering off at the training room she had just been engaging in a relatively low impact form of Alchaka in. Her scars stung again, and she rubbed her fingers in between the grooves as where the flesh wasn't broken briefly. He made so much sense she wasn't exactly sure how to respond at first. She could've just agreed, but how he explained it seemed like it was worth more than just simple agreement, didn't it?

"Of course... I'm not a machine, I know I can fight; and I know I can fight well... You speak truth, Master Drago'... Its hard to pretend I don't feel, nigh impossible... On Charros Four, I could feel their suffering"

Aayla's head drooped, hand resting across her heart briefly as she shivered at the memory.

"How can anyone keep a blank slate of emotion in the face of such reckless hatred, and destruction... Of course I was upset. I wanted to do more to help the Xi's, and I felt powerless at times. Overwhelmed, alone... I owe Jax as well... Towards the end I ga-.. I gave up."

She said that bit with a of defeat staining her tongue, palpable in her tone; she knew she'd given up, and perhaps out of everything that had happened that day, that was the thing that bugged her the most. The most embarrassing part...

He had mentioned revenge, and told her it was okay to feel, but never something she should pursue, and she wasn't an idiot; she knew that. In the moment though... After all had been done, still she hadn't reached out to Josh within the Force, albeit hadn't hid her feelings from him within it either.

He would note her feeling suddenly, out of place, as if she wasn't supposed to be there, that mental shielding of sorts returning as she began to hide her emotions from the other, kneeling forward to him until her fore head just barely hovered above the ground. After bowing, she would stand, and move to collect her things.

"Anyway... I'm not so helpless that I need you to tell me what I already know. I've read enough of the old texts to know what silly things like vengeful emotion can do to us, who feel the living Force so vividly... I know better" she admitted, holding her robes in front of her, and offering him another nod.

If he stopped her, she would stay, and listen to what else he had to say; if he didn't object, Aayla would leave to think on his words, insightful as they were.

Josh Dragovalor

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

TAG: Aayla Shan



"Master Drago? That's a new nickname" the Grandmaster teased with a gentle smile, doing his best to keep the mood light despite the heavy tone of it all. He was teaching a lesson here, but he wasn't punishing her for making mistakes. He wanted to make sure that she knew that. How could anyone keep a blank slate in the face of all that was before them, indeed? It was a preposterous notion. They were people just as much as anyone else. Allowed to feel and to process like any other normal person. Did you want to get Sith? Pretending you shouldn't be allowed to feel was how you got Sith.

She claimed that she knew all of this already. Perhaps she did, maybe she didn't? Who was he to know for sure? "There's no harm in ensuring a lesson sticks" he responded gently in turn. "And war, experiencing it for the first time... It changes people. This is our reality. But a trap a lot of Jedi fall in is being unable to admit that sometimes... They need help in overcoming what comes of it. So if there's any lesson I can impart at all in all of this... It's to not be afraid to express it. If we cannot help each other, how can we help the rest of the Galaxy?"

He had experienced war and all it had to offer more times than he would like. And he himself had lacked the emotional support needed to get through it. The least he could do was ensure that this Padawan didn't meet the same fate.

"Despite that, you did indeed fight well. Even without a Master on record, you've been able to handle yourself well. Though I see aspects where a lack of one has become a detriment" he brought up then, studying her expression for the ensuing reaction. "These feelings you have. A Master worth his salt would have done their best to prepare you. It wouldn't stop you from taking the brunt of the blow, but helping you at least brace for it. And being there for you when that blow comes. That's our job. But you readily admit to what you perceive to be your skill as well. That in of itself is a flaw. A Jedi typically only indicates their capabilities when they relate to just that -- capabilities in regard to their relevancy in an ongoing, coming or potential situation. Anything else is just bragging. No real reason for it."

He kept his tone calm and gentle, but the point was still made.

"If it may be allowed to ask, is there a reason you do not have a teacher assigned? According to my reports, you've worked without an assignment for quite some time."

 

[Aayla Shan]

She listened earnestly as he spoke, eyes briefly trailing past as a few other Jedi entered the training room and moved to the far side, and away from them. To his first comment, she started to laugh a bit, stating instinctively

"That's what the gi-.. some people call you." a pinkish hue finding her cheeks as she chuckled that near bluster off. When he spoke of her lack of her Master being a detriment, she would take it fairly well; nodding once, eyes faltering to the ground briefly before moving back to lock on his own. He continued, and didn't bite his tongue. Though cloaked, she knew what his words meant. She knew exactly what he was saying to her.

Cocky, Arrogant, Overconfident... These words were garnered between the lines of his soft verbal blows. She didn't mean to come off that way, but knew it wasn't entirely wrong either. After her Master went missing, she had taken a solitary stance, turning to books and holocrons to replace something that was irreplaceable; a teacher. Therein lay pain, and feelings of abandonment that she had tried to confront, but preferred to bury and lay foundation upon, without clearing the skeletons underneath.

When he asked if he was allowed to ask, she could only offer a dull smirk in response; he was the Master here, of course he could ask...

The question however caused her face to return to a blank state, thinking about that... Really taking a few beats to watch the Jedi in the far corner of the room perform a few saber drills.

"I pushed them away... I wanted MY Master to come back, and whenever they tried to create a bond with me, I purposely rejected it... I was rude, arrogant, disobedient... Not because that's who I am, but because somewhere inside... For a long time I expected him to return; to come back up those steps and give me that puzzled look he always seem to have. And he would ask me what I had been doing to further myself in his absence... "

Aayla then calmly pressed her hands together, thumbs fiddling at each other; eyes plastered on the aforementioned clasping of her own hands.

"And I would've said... Everything you taught me My Master."

She scoffed lightly then, a light chuckle leaving her as her eyes raised back up to the corner of the room.

"I held that hope out for so long, like a fool... And all I received for that hope was solitude. A feeling of insecurity, and a healthy dose of misrepresentation. I wouldn't explain myself, and the Masters took that as it came I imagine; leaving me to that arrogance, and solitude... It isn't fair to say they didn't try though Master Drago'- Valor... I just didn't want the connection"

Aayla admitted, feeling as though she had lifted some weight from her chest somehow. She wondered if he could even understand her position really. Though also knew he had lived a full life and had experienced many things in his own right. It would be up to him to discern her true meaning behind the words; and figure out of they held any merit to her situation.

Josh Dragovalor

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

TAG: Aayla Shan



He blinked a few times in confusion as she said that this "gi" had called him that. He didn't know what she meant, and she did not appear to be interested in obliging his curiosity. So he left it for now, as confused as he was. Her story was more important regardless. She seemed to take his insinuation that she was arrogant rather well, given the circumstances. Though he could be reading it wrong too. He never quite made up his mind properly on these sorts of things until they were more clearly set in stone.

Of course he had asked for permission. Being allowed to ask, and if the person was comfortable being asked, were two different things when they weren't on the field of battle. This was not a mission. He was a concerned co-worker doing his best to help someone on his team. It was as simple as that. Common courtesy and respect were a must for any Jedi. Or any person, really. She told a story he had heard several times before across his long career. A student who refused to be taught by anyone but a Master who's teachings they held as sacred. Holding out hope that they would return.

It was one he knew too. He sighed.

"I was 17 when a band of slavers ambushed my Master and I" he began to recount. "I was taken. Strapped with a collar to nullify my abilities. Wasn't physically strong enough to free myself."

He pulled back his long hair to reveal a faded scar on his neck. Imprints from the collar. A reminder that he had once been a slave.

"It was horrible. The things I saw, the things I experienced. I still dream of it sometimes. But after a year of hard labor, they decided it was time for me to go on the auction block. I had developed a strong build after the hell they put me through, and they thought I was now appealing enough -- and obedient enough -- to be sold. For what, I couldn't tell you. But on that day, one slaver who was quite happy to see me go, kicked me down and pressed his boot to my neck. Hard. Decided it was a fine parting gift to ensure I remembered that no matter where I went, I would always be in someone's service. At that point I had been beaten and worked so severely over the last year that I could barely remember my own name, when my collar cracked... I began to feel the Force come back to me, and with it, I remembered my Master. I remembered what had brought me there and I became desperate to get out and get back to Coruscant, to make sure he was safe. To let him know that I was safe, that he didn't have to look for me anymore."

That bond was a something he wanted to make sure to emphasize. She needed to know that he understood where she was coming from. "I ripped that collar open with that crack, no matter how bad it shocked me. I started an uprising, and eventually I was free. My memories were hazy for a little while due to my damaged psyche and I wandered from place to place for a bit, but I was eventually led back to the Jedi and some of my memories returned over time, enough to badger the Council about my Master. And... That's when I found out that he was gone. He'd told the Council he had gone after me. And they never saw or heard from him again. Never found a body."

He bit his lip. It was always a tough story to tell.

"I was just like you. I refused to be taught by another Master. I wanted my Master, and I would wait for him until the end of time. But time passed me by. Another year and a half went on, and he was still gone. I had to accept it, as much as I didn't like it. I was eventually re-assigned, something I agreed to only begrudgedly. Sadly, that didn't work out well either."

He shook his head and sighed in exasperation. "Not gonna lie, she was an impatient, inattentive Master. I saw her maybe once between our first session and her telling me she was putting me up for Knight. A month later. The Republic needed generals for their war. They needed fighters. Soldiers with lightsabers. They didn't care how, they just needed it now. And she was a general first, a teacher second. So I was promoted, with all my flaws. All my issues that stemmed from spending years without proper guidance. Also an injured psyche that came back to haunt me years after the fact, since they never thought to get me help."

He shrugged his shoulders. He was never letting them live that down. Or he wouldn't if they were alive for him to bother.

"I sorely wish I had the right Master to help me finish my training the right way. It's taken me a decade to figure this krap out on my own. I wasn't ready to be a Knight, I sure as hell wasn't ready to be a Master. But there I was. Knight at 20. Master at 21. Was even Grandmaster for a few weeks before internal corruption ousted me real quick. Wasn't ready to handle any of that. Never had the chance to be taught. So if you want my advice? Mourn your Master, as is the right thing to do. But don't let their teachings, their legacy be in vain by letting them stop you from doing what will help you as a Jedi. The best way you can honor your Master is by being the best Jedi that you can be. And that sometimes means accepting some help. Force knows I could have used it."

Oh right, a loose end there... "Right, also. All that Jedi stuff? Wasn't the Silvers, thank kark. Old Order I was in. Corrupt as could be, corrupt... With a C. Small wonder they folded really."

 

[Aayla Shan]

Aayla had long relaxed from her training, and her body had calmed. As he told his story, she would shift the angle she was sitting, facing more towards him and listening to his words. As he spoke, she couldn't help but feel a bit of anger in her own right; being slaved as a young girl herself she knew those types thought themselves superior. Sometimes they viewed you as inferior just because they could subjugate you. It was sickening. His story had hit a soft spot with her honestly. Beyond that, he had mentioned being just like her, and her eyes trailed off again; secretly wondering what he was getting at, though she would silently hear him out and try to crunch that mouthful he had dropped on her...

"I suppose the only thing to gain from looking back, is wisdom for our future... That being said, from Master to Grandmaster in a year isn't something I think I can accomplish. Maybe.. With a good teacher. Though, I don't want to be like the rest of them.

She cast a brief up-nod to the group.

"I want to be a shadow. I want to explore, and uncover the mysteries of the Force. With the Concord, or not; I'm tired of being held back due to bureaucracy. You're right, I have a lot to learn... And yet I am still eager to learn. Still eager to become someone worthy of the title Jedi."

Aayla said then, chuckling once and looking away, ruefully to the corner of the room where the other students were still breaking down saber drills.

"More scars to collect, no doubt... And a difficult path ahead. I wont shy away from that path though... And..

she swallowed once then, clearing her throat;

"And, I wont shy away from those bonds anymore. Charros taught me that. Charros IV, and those Force forsaken monsters known as Bryn'Adul taught me that what you think, is not always what it is. I surprised myself..."

the young woman offered light nods at that, then locked her eyes back on him again.

"Help was needed. then, and needed now. If not for Jax Thio... If not for you, I'd just be another dead Jedi to them. And that reality is hard to face... Master Dragovalor, I'd like to ask if you would complete my training. The bonds I once rejected... I don't want to do that anymore. I would like to do some good for others. Its not to say I haven't so far; moreover I know I have saved my fair share of lives. I would like a teacher to help me unlock the mysteries of the Force, and my true potential. I understand if that can't be you, but perhaps you could suggest my name to another Master."

Aayla said, instinctively assuming he would turn her down as a padawan, but mindful enough to pose an alternative in the same breath. As she spoke these words, her hands clasped together flatly, tips of her thumbs pressed at the points as she dipped her head in a bow. If it were to be taken as anything, maybe it could have been construed as an apology. Nothing like death to remind one of their place. in the grand scheme of things. She would be lying if she didn't consider the fact that he had mad such leaps and bounds at even a younger age than her into effect.

She didn't see him as a slow grind, so to speak. Someone that could hit the ground running in training, and expand on what she already knew; show her the areas where she lacked, and perhaps even show her things she wasn't aware of at all. In the end however, that would all be subject to his wisdom regarding her request. Leaning back to a sitting position once again, she kept her hands clasped, and let her gray hues search him with interest.

His story was one of strife, and pain... And redemption. How couldn't she fall for the bravado of it. At heart she understood a Jedi's need to be somewhat neutral, but Josh also understood how necessary it was for a Jedi to be able to feel. His concepts on releasing emotions resonated with her deeply. How he explained the concept of the Dark-Side, and the purported 'release' that Jedi felt when they fell to it, shone with resounding clarity. It wasn't a foreign emotion, it was THEIR emotion. Something they had been trained to suppress, or simply ignore. In the end, Aayla couldn't help but agree it was nonsense.

Josh Dragovalor

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

TAG: Aayla Shan




To him, the dark side was not the release of emotion. It was a force that manipulated it to chain you. Fooled you into thinking that you needed the dark side to be allowed to feel. When in truth, feeling was second nature. It was an important part of you. To him, the Jedi way in the past had approached it wrong. His students meanwhile, learned a different path. They learned that while the dark side caused you to be controlled by your emotions… The Jedi Way should teach you to exist with them harmoniously. Embracing them, but balancing them. In a way, controlling them. Complete mastery of one’s self… The good and the bad.

“Oh I wouldn’t go so far as to call it an accomplishment. It was far from earned" the Master pointed out with a hoarse laugh. Oh, no. She had completely misconstrued his meaning. "I followed orders strictly, to the letter. Blindly loyal with no thought to consequences or to my own happiness, or if I'm even doing the right thing. I was not a person, I was a tool, a thing. The Jedi was my life and I followed that no matter how corrupt my Order became. They were in shambles and I took the initiative when others would not, so they laid more responsibilities on me. Being made Master, and soon after Grandmaster for that means nothing" he revealed. It was sort of liberating, learning to completely dismiss the person he was back then and the toxicity of the Order that had essentially used him and eventually tossed him aside. "I killed people and I followed their creed without knowing for sure if it was right, and without any thought for myself. I was promoted because I was the perfect tool for a crumbling Order. I was not able to think for myself, and my every being was dedicated only to their whims. I didn’t earn my Mastery until years later. When I learned there is more to life than service, and learned to be my own person. Ironically it was only when I got away from them, started a family... Became a father and learned there was plenty more to fight for, did I find myself and soon after, find the Silver Jedi. Only when I became more complete as a person, was my Jedi training complete in turn. That was the day I could confidently call myself a Master, and mean it.”

She brought up her dreams. She wanted to be a Shadow. He had met many Shadows. He was sure she'd make it if she tried. “Maybe you do need a teacher. One who you know wants you to succeed. Not as a tool. But as a person. The best people make the best Jedi after all.”

She wouldn't shy away from those bonds anymore. He nodded his approval. Good. Then she was already learning. But then came her big request, and he smiled softly.

“Well, congratulations. You beat me to the big ask. Of course I’ll train you, Padawan Shan" he spoke up as he gingerly rose to his feet, before holding out a hand to her. "I'm sure by the time I'm through with you, you'll find those missing pieces."

He grinned cheekily. "So. Rule number one: Don't worry about it. Be confident you'll find those pieces in time. Rule number two: Don't think too much about rank. That's not a measure of a Jedi's worth. I've met Padawans better Jedi than some Masters. And not every Jedi is promoted only when they're ready. You are you. A rank or a title won't change it. Focus on what's ahead of you and the good you can do. You do that, and the days, months, however long it takes? It'll go by fast, I can promise you that. Rule number three? Enjoy this stage of Jedi-hood. Trust me. You only get it once. You also only have this little amount of paperwork once. Don't take it for granted."

 

[Aayla Shan]

So quickly the conversation seemed to be lifted from its somber tone. Even as he spoke of the Dark Times, she couldn't help but smile at his optimism, and his views. He was truly different than any other Master she had met. Then again, had she ever given another Master to show their true sides? No, they were all sort of judged, and brushed off due to their stoic nature at times. Hell when she first met Josh she had lumped him in with the others, and now talking to him, it brought a lump in her throat. He had suffered just like anyone else. Being used by some cult-like sect of the Jedi though. That was something she would remember well after this, something ominous that she would lock away in remembrance. If even he could be used in such a way, then it meant that she should've been mindful to separate orders, and her perceived views on responsibility, to what was moral, and the RIGHT choice.

She didn't comment on that, however... Just offering him a single shake of the head in understanding.

In any case, he had agreed to train her; and that brought her a bubbling feeling of glee. To be trained by him wasn't anything to 'tsk' at. He wasn't just a GrandMaster, or a Master. She knew well he was a Master of the saber, which was an art she was already fluent in; training with him would make her a Force to be reckoned with; albeit looking him over she couldn't help but wonder just how stealthy he was... A smirk dotted her lips, and she glanced away as if trying to hide the fact she was giddy at his words.

"Don't Worry... A Rank is just that... And enjoy this life as is.... Got it"

she said, turning back and falling lightly in his direction, but catching herself on one hand. Her voice lowered, and she offered him one more question.

"So... Do I really still have to do paperwork as a shadow?" the joke came, causing her to giggle aloud. She knew the answer to that of course; but wanted to see if there was a way to circumvent it. Hell if he still did paperwork she realized she was going to be doing it up and until she quit herself. That premise was more harrowing than whatever hellish training laid ahead...

With that, she regained her composure, then offered him a respectful bow.

"Then, I pledge myself to you Master Dragovalor. I am at your service, and command." Aayla would say, the words not carrying the faintest hint of lightness; he would learn in the aforementioned days, or months ahead that she meant what she said, and said what she meant.


Josh Dragovalor