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Approved Planet Raven Prime

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Matho Healb

Raven's Ark General - Katzbalger Class
Character
Images:

02nature_landscape.jpg

Fanastyart.com

Name: Raven Prime [Basic] / Mwonvuli [Talzzi]

Region: Unknown


System: Espada Ropera System

Suns:
  • Schianova - Type A - Blue Giant
  • Szabla - Type A - Blue Giant
  • Asi - Type A - Blue Giant
The three suns of the Espada Ropera system are equidistant apart. They form a triangle in the sky above the planets for most of the year cycle, but eventually, due to the oblong shaped orbit, most planets will experience a phenomena when the three suns will line up perfectly, creating an impressively bright blue oval in the sky.

Orbital Position: On the very edge of the inhabitable zone in orbit around the tri-sun configuration.

Moons:
  • Zweihander - Passes through the uninhabitable zone for half of the orbital orbital cycle. When it is in the uninhabitable zone, the dust on the surface of the satellite reflects the sunlight, bathing the moon in a terrifying maroon halo.

Coordinates: [10,E] Equidistant between the Osseriton and Rhadamanthus systems

Rotational Period: 219000 Earth Hours
Orbital Period: 1 Raven Prime Day


Class: Terrestrial

Diameter: 15645.93 Km - Extremely low density accounts for low gravity

Atmosphere: Type 2

Climate: The climate is split into two distinct biomes, with one being earth-like, and the other extremely frozen.

Gravity: -6.54 m/s^2 - In cities, just under -9.81 m/s^2

Primary Terrain: Mountainous regions make up most of the landscape on the "Light" side of the world. In between these mountains, there were equal amounts of desert landscapes and forested areas. Most of the world's water is held just under the surface on the light side, which is constantly flowing underground to the "Dark" side of the planet. Here, it gushes out of the ground when tectonic plates collide, creating grander and more complex frozen lands.

Native species: Talz

Immigrated species: Human

Primary languages: Basic / Talzzi

Government: Corporatocracy

Population: ~1,000,000 humans, ~2000 Epicanthix, Unknown number of Talz

Demonym: Raven Primesian

Major cities:
  • Falcata - Raven Prime's largest city, it serves as the primary manufacturing center of the planet.
  • Makhaira - The planet's main spaceport. This section of the metropolitan system handles all shipping needs.
  • Xiphos - The central hub for the bloodsport arena.
Major imports: Livestock, Metals, Fuel, Water, Mechanical Equipment, Meleenium, Neutronium

Major exports: Weapons, Ships, Zweihander Crystals, Raven Contractors

Affiliation: N/A

Culture: The Raven Primesians are extremely competitive in nature, often competing in the bloodsport arenas to rise in the ranks of The Ravens, a specialized sect of Raven's Ark personnel. Once a Primesian reached maturity at age 16, they were free to choose which path they wanted to pursue, higher education, or war. Most Primesians enjoyed the bloodsport, whether from the cities, or the badlands, the bloodsport united them together. These games took place in grand arenas which allowed for thousands of spectators. Several arenas dotted the cities, with the largest being in Xiphos. During these games, Ravens would compete, not for the favor of the gods, or fame, but for rank. Only the strongest of the Ravens would be allowed to participate in missions through Raven's Ark. The most respected of these Ravens were the ones that reached Zweihander, named after the moon that circled the sky. These accomplished warriors were contracted out to other factions offworld to deal with their problems. Most Zweihander-Class contractors never lived past their first year, as the missions they were sent on were difficult to impossible to complete, and they would give their lives to complete them. When a Primesian dies, his blood is drained and fills many phylacteries. These vials would be distributed among his friends and family, allowing the warrior to protect his family after death. One vial would be saved, and added to a pool of blood beneath Falcata that held the blood of all the Primesians that have died after The Ark fell. The man's most treasured weapon would be given to his first son, and would be expected to be handed down to his first son. This practice led to some families having expansive armories of valuable weapons decades old.

Technology: The first city on Raven Prime was constructed out of the remains of The Ark. This is why many of the current structures in Falcata resemble starships, seeing as they were literally constructed out of one massive starship. Due to the lower gravity threshold, these structures are able to be assembled much easier. When the planet's gravity threshold is so low, you can lift heavier objects with much less complicated machinery. Having this effect, coupled with the massive spaceports of Makhaira, allow for extensive manufacturing prowess among the Primesians. With the reduced gravity came complications. Artificial gravity generators were created for cities, allowing for comfortable living at just under -9.81 m/s^2. In the off months when the moon, Zweihander is inside the inhabitable zone, some Primesians are sent out to excavate the Dust Caves. These caves hold special crimson colored crystals, which produce a menacing maroon glow when assembled inside jewelry sets and other regal wear. Unfortunately, these excavators are blasted with heavy radiation given off by the tri-suns, which combine with the dust to create the crystals. Most excavators will die within the first three years of their careers from cancer and radiation damage. These Zwei-Crystals were used to construct intricate and beautiful jewelry that was bestowed on political elites and accomplished warriors alike. The moon was also rich in deposits of carvanium, lommite, carbon, and zersium.

History: Raven Prime was discovered many years ago, when The Ark was still a grand structure, 5km in length, and carrying the last remnants of The Ravens. These warriors were known for their exemplary skill in combat, and as such were synonymous with trouble. All Ravens were rounded up and exiled from the inner regions of the galaxy and forced to find haven in deep space. The Ravens, being highly adaptable, decided to settle on the arid half of the planet that would be known as Raven Prime. The massive Ark was disassembled and its vast supplies of metals and pieces were erected on the spot that would become Falcata, the capital city of Raven Prime. As time went on, the Ravens moved from a life of blood, to one of civilization and expansion. The ranks of the Ravens thinned, as more and more offspring were pushed into manufacturing, sciences, medicine and exploration. The remaining members became even more dedicated to continuing the Raven bloodline, breeding the most skilled warriors The Ark had ever seen.

As the people settled into the world and began to start families, many of them retired from the ranks of the Ravens, becoming farmers, politicians, construction workers, and manufacturers. This dichotomy of new culture vs old culture created uneasy feelings between the Ravens, which were considered blood-crazed warmongers by the more "refined" denizens of the bustling cities, and the people who retired from that line of work.

This uneasiness led to a civil war between the people. The warrior Ravens laid siege to the sprawling cityscapes, and eventually the political leaders waved a white flag. The leaders of the two movements agreed to meet in order to end the violence they were inflicting on their own people. After several days of heated debate, the two came up with an agreement. They knew their people would not thrive if they were not capable in combat. They also knew that political dealings and manufacturing was essential to their survival on the planet. They established a separate sect of government, where bloodsport was used to solve issues between leaders. These two factions co-operated to create education systems that taught young Primesians the intricacies of political dealings and society as well as the intricacies of severing a man's head from his body. This system was called the Black-Gold Concordat. This action united both factions under the notion of progressing their excellence through combat and politics.

Eventually Falcata expanded out to Makhaira and Xiphos, the former dedicated to the new culture, and the latter dedicated to the old ways of the Ravens. Jack-O, the leader of the Ravens, sent out an expedition team to the moon, which shone a sickly blood-crimson in the sky half the year. The adventurers came back with Zweihander crystals, and news of the other side of the planet. Because Raven Prime is so massive, the members of The Ark had no need to expand to the dark side of the planet. Another team was sent to investigate, but never returned.

On the dark side of the world, the Talz, over many years, have begun to carve into the ice and snow, creating massive structures inside of excavated caves. Often, these structures will be fully developed as cities, however, the entrances to these cities are usually concealed by snow, and explorers to this region could miss these structures easily. This lead to the Dark side of the planet being considered completely dead.

When a large expedition team was sent to find anything of use to the Primesians, a blizzard split the team nearly in half. One half froze to death along the landscape, and the other was lucky enough to happen upon a small settlement of Talz. These explorers were able to communicate with the Talz on a very basic basis. The Talz took them in and began to nurture them back to full health.

This sect of Primesians, over the years, evolved to be resistant to the cold, and helped the Talz excavate grander and deeper cave systems, eventually linking all the major cities together with underground cave systems.

As Falcata continued to thrive, the leader of The Ravens left for the stars with his finest soldiers. They remade The Ark to serve as their main facility for transport and training off-world. The Ravens offered their services as mercenaries, providing a steady stream of credits and blood for the homeworld. Eventually, the leader passed away of old age,

Notable PC's:
Matho Healb - Leader of Raven's Ark - General - Katzbalger Class
Bracar Rhade - Officer - Khmali Class
Kassk Kry'Lya - Contractor - Khmali Class
Icarus Khel - Contractor - Kopesh Class


Intent: This is the main operating base for Raven's Ark and Ark Industries. This will be the capital planet for Raven's Ark, as well as the home planet of Ark Industries. The facilities on this planet will manufacture weapons and crystals for sale across the galaxy, an operation headed by Ark Industries. Eventually, the cities on Raven Prime will expand to the edges of the dark side, leading to excellent RP opportunities as two species meet for the first time.
 
the bedbound bard
Writer
Hey there, @[member="Matho Healb"] - a few things need to be sorted before this can be approved.

Firstly the Rotational Period and Orbital Period need seeing to: Rotation is the length of a day, Orbital is the length of a year - Please measure the former in hours, the latter in days. Can you also put a measurement on the gravity, rather than a fraction. Also, where gravity is concerned, you've stated it to be extremely low, yet later on you say the planet is massive - and this is a direct contradiction. The higher the planet mass the greater the gravitational pull. So either it's lacking in gravity or it's a very small planet given the present gravitational fraction you've provided.


Then I'd like you to build upon the Culture - remember that your planet submission is here to build upon the lore of the site, and culture is a vast aspect of a civilisation, which is what you're creating. I'd also like more information on the mentioned bloodsports. As well as the culture could you build upon the History - you've mentioned that the Ark weren't the first people there, so could you mention a little about the history of the Talz.

Ontop of this can you please tone down the technology, especially the crystals - aside from restricted items or event prizes crystals are only really differentiated through their colour, not 'power level', and as for the super-fast construction can you mention how the gravity would help (As mentioned above you need to clear up whether there is such low gravity or the planet is smaller than suggested)

Another issue I have is that you've stated this to be pretty much dead-land, through mention of salt-flats, deserts and snowy icelands - so how can you have the resources to produce the exports, and even your every day supplies and food-stuffs, when all you are importing is soil? I'd like this to be cleared up.

Please see to these issues and @ mention me when you're done, not before then. Thanks.
 
the bedbound bard
Writer
@[member="Matho Healb"] : a few more things;

We still have the issue of gravity-to-size ratio. In order for it to achieve such polar opposites of size-vs-gravitational pull it would have to be pretty much hollow. Please choose between size and gravity - either have it a lot smaller or a much higher gravitational pull

A lot of the "Primary Terrain" and "Culture" sections should be under the History section. If it's telling the backstory of the planet/its people then put it into the History section. It also still doesn't explain how you're able to be mostly self-sustaining, and there's much more resources required to build what you're exporting than what the planet/your imports provide. And you still haven't explained how the gravity helps with building the structures in the Technology section.
 

Matho Healb

Raven's Ark General - Katzbalger Class
Character
Sections pertaining to history moved, Size adjusted, terrain redone, gravity adjusted, imports added.

Also, if there's less gravity, it would take less effort to lift heavy objects. That would mean that you could put together buildings with less advanced equipment.

@[member="Kära Vi'dreya"]
 
the bedbound bard
Writer
@[member="Matho Healb"]
I was asking you to state that in the submission.

Also change this to the new gravity: "living at just under -9.81 m/s^2"

I'll check over the rest of it fully tomorrow, it's late here.
 
the bedbound bard
Writer
@[member="Matho Healb"]

Okay I've checked it over and it seems fine save for the affiliation; you'd have to wait for RA to his Major before you can claim this planet as your capital. For now you can put N/A and hope no-one tries to claim it (which if they're nice they shouldn't since it's clear you've made this with the purpose in mind) Do this and I'll pass it over to the RPJ's with my approval.
 
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