Peer thru the shadow of past void

[Ronin Wendigo]

As it was like before Ronin sort found himself in the Temple archive which on its own was highly unusual Being that he wasnt quite the scholarly type. At best hell, he didn't care much for reading or study for that matter that the Master usually knew all too well during is early year back. To make it part his daily chores which he absolutely hate but seem in time he kinda got into as time passed. Especially now he sort been able piece together things he had not in the past. And so whenever time permit it to he found himself sneak in more out of habit rather than anything into the archives.

Past some the section his current rank were allowed to at time it seem. Even now despite all the training and aid he'd been given part of that old self was hard let go nor die out. The one that just went for and searched for things thought his mind at that moment had no idea why .....walk down one the rows of shelves he went. Cautiously and well quickly as he could while the images still linger fresh in his mind. of what bits or piece he could gather from his session he'd been doing on his own behind the healer notice. As part him so desperately wish learn the truth behind his dark dream sooner than later despite what the healer advice him against.

 

[Jairdain]

Ever since her mental duel with Lord Lykos, Jairdain had been plagued with nightmares sometimes. They were random, some nights she would sleep fine and the next the dreams would come. It had also been her first real battle, mental or physical. She didn't know if her symptoms would ever go away, but she wanted to find out. Maybe she could at least figure out a way to control them more.

She asked the Master in charge who pointed her in the direction of books where he thought she would find the information she wanted. Shaking her head to herself, she took out her reading device and walked to where she had been directed. The Jedi was busy and she could understand that, but it would have been helpful to have somebody there to read the titles to her.

Giving a mental shrug, Jairdain held her little reader up to scan the shelves and titles they each offered. Almost to her surprise, she found the correct shelf her first try. Passing her device across the titles, it read each one to her and when the one she wanted was there, Jairdain pulled it off the shelf and went to find a place to read it.

Instead of paying any attention to where she was really walking, common sense told her the path between the shelves would be clear of anything. She was opening the book to find the first few pages when she got to the end of her row and somebody was in front of her. Before she could stop, she ran into the person and she dropped what she had been holding.

Surprise and shock would show on her face, "excuse me, I am so sorry." Squatting down, she would start feeling around for the book and her reader hopefully they were nearby and would be within reach.

[member="Ronin Wendigo"]

 

[Ronin Wendigo]

[member="Jairdain"]


It was then that with his attention distracted looking thru the books as he did that he dare not seem notice when she came in. So focused was he as the desired grew to find the answer to the shadows in the darkness. When it happen that he found what he was look for up on the side shelf across from her. At which time he grabs it and was about make his escape when a miss step cause him cross path with her.

Only barely keep himself for fall over her as she drop to the ground and he would have caught her if not for the book fall onto one his foot. And he lets out a oooff at the same time she then came speak as well. Leaving him somewhat stun and didn't quite note that she was without sight as he spoke.

" ummm......my bad sorry miss,,,,,,"

He then drop by her side pick up the book and try help her up as he stood.

"You ok....."

His words then soon sort cut short as he could not help feel some familiarity to her as he paused to hear her reply.

 

[Jairdain]

They both blamed each other for the collision and Jairdain couldn't help but smile a little at the situation. Accepting the book she had dropped when he brushed it against her hand, she didn't see that he offered to help her stand up. Instead, she kept feeling for the reader. It had been knocked behind her and she rotated slightly to pick it up. Standing up, she looked in the direction of Ronin.

Her eyes while clear, would be unfocused, but he would be able to know her attention was on him.

"I am fine. Is your foot ok? I heard the book drop on it."

She had an apologetic, but still friendly look on her face. He felt familiar so she knew they had met previously.

"Accidents happen and you were in my meditation class. I don't think you were there at the start, but I might wrong. I'm Jairdain though."

[member="Ronin Wendigo"]

 

[Ronin Wendigo]

[member="Jairdain"]

"I am fine. Is your foot ok? I heard the book drop on it."

It was then when she spoke that he put two and two together which sort pause in his track. Torn between what do next now that he seem been found out though this thought soon slightly was take over. By shooting pain from his foot and look up seeing still friendly look in her face that he replied back.

" Hmm well i'm fine .......guess other than bruised ego.....yeah well i know shouldn't be keep my eye on way ......"

Was then that she replied no sooner silence over took him as sort lost for word show how he felt at that time. And was sort in between try to back off make his leave before she was none the wiser but then.

"Accidents happen and you were in my meditation class. I don't think you were there at the start, but I might wrong. I'm Jairdain though."

To which caught all he could do was fess up and reply.

"Yeah i guess and well guess was thought join in later that the first two. ......:

He then try to not seem extend a hand adds.

" .....Guess introduction is in order Master Jairdain......my name Ronin Wendigo."

He then pause note the strange device not far off from her and seem using the force pull it to hand. Then turn hand it back to her while saying....


".....think you drop this? "

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain couldn't help but chuckle a little at his humor about the bruised ego. She nodded her head in understanding. There were many times when she had felt that same little bruising.

"I think we both need to pay more attention to where we both are going."

His feelings showed he was slightly nervous and Jairdain wondered why. Other than an accidental bump in there wasn't anything to be nervous about.

"Oh, it's ok. Open classes are like that, people kind of come and go as they want. I hope it did help you though. Seem to recall you having a difficult time for some of it. Have things gotten easier?"

Paying closer attention to Ronin, she knew when he said his name he had his hand out to shake. She took his hand to shake.

"Oh please, I'm no master yet, Ronin Wendigo. Just a Knight. Call me Jairdain. No need for formal titles or anything of the sort."

She her​self had been raised to call people formally, but had never enjoyed it. Not wanting to force it on anybody else, she didn't enjoy being called by them either. Situations made it demanded, but this wasn't one of them.

Ronin handed her the reading device and when he did, her face lit up thankfully. Placing it on top of the book in her arm, she smiled at him.

"Yes, thank you very much."

[member="Ronin Wendigo"]

 

[Ronin Wendigo]

[member="Jairdain"]

If anything Ronin was never one to let opportunity or moment let loose bit wisecrack pass just that easy. Not so much out of anything that he reckons bit old habit he had yet break. Steam from his time away on his own at any rate note how she nods her head soon after told him. His bit of humor, however bit dry it might be for some was not lost on her as he reply with a nod back.

"I think we both need to pay more attention to where we both are going."

To which he then did his best play coy and shift the book behind her nervously hope she didn't take notice of it. As with his other free hand soon rose to rub the back his neck. A sort tell he remember the healers told him so about whenever catch him not being truthful at any rate he instead turn his attention to her speak.

"Yeah I guess......that we umm should....."

At which time he slightly fell silent which he assumed she'd pick up on as she continued on to speak.

"Oh, it's ok. Open classes are like that, people kind of come and go as they want. I hope it did help you though. Seem to recall you having a difficult time for some of it. Have things gotten easier?"

Which in return he sort been hesitant at first but eventually replied.

" I see well haven't done much attended any of the other class so reckon it just needs some getting used to. But I guess it did in a way .... help me to connect to things I had been having difficulty with. But in regards to it getting any easier not so much but eventually in time I hope so. "

It was then soon after extending his hand and addressing her so formally she then, in turn reach over to take his hand. Shake it in greeting as she did as spoke back.

"Oh please, I'm no master yet, Ronin Wendigo. Just a Knight. Call me Jairdain. No need for formal titles or anything of the sort."

Which lead a slight grin on his face as he replied back just as their hand lets go of the shake eventually. And he sort began to feel become at ease with her presence as replied back

"Hmm, I see well guess Jairdain it is then.....not been really one for formality or titles myself but sort still tries to get used to not being an apprentice. As I not too long ago got knighted...."


As the conversation shifted once he handed her back odd device she drop and she thanks him. At which time he then seem out of curiosity with the book slowly but surely slip back into a shelf nearby by him replied.

"It ok......don't mention it ....so .....ummm....what you here for....that is if I can figure out where here is?"

 

[Jairdain]

With a smile still on her face, Jairdain nodded when Ronin agreed with her. His words were hesitant though like maybe this was a common thing for him.

"Do you often run into people?"

It was meant more as a joke question then a real one, but it came out anyway and hopefully he would hear the smile and humor in her voice. He did answer her question on meditation and said that he had not done it much and when he had it was no easier. There were some that just couldn't meditate and maybe he was one of them.

"Given the opportunity maybe I can help you with that."

Her voice was pleasant and she meant her words seriously. They shook and let go of one another's hands. He then spoke of formalities and not liking them much.

"I totally agree there, Ronin. Sometimes situations are there where they are needed. I was raised to use proper titles so when I first meet somebody I do the same thing. You and I are in the same situation, I recently got Knight as well. Congratulations!"

Really meaning what she said, he would hopefully be able to tell that if he was empathic at all and it was plain on her face. Then he asked what brought her here and her face fell slightly before she answered. Holding the book she held for him to see.

"I've been having trouble meditating as well and nightmares waking me when I sleep. You?

[member="Ronin Wendigo"]

 

[Ronin Wendigo]

[member="Jairdain"]

It was then noted the smile on her face sort help put his mind at ease giving him a nod.That he sort felt a bit embarrassed that his reply back seems slightly hesitant as if anything. Old habit seems to be a hard break just as well never been one who was much of a conversationalist.

"Do you often run into people?"

Came to her question seem at certain point view innocent enough but then again remind him of something that made him slightly chuckle in response. As he pick up on slight jest in her tone as he replied back

"Well, I guess....your one of the few as I reckon as one the Master use to tell me. That I tend to be rush round well too much..."

As soon after their talks began a shift to something pertaining to one the class that he nod as listen. And soon after reply back as best he could to her question as she in turn spoke

"Given the opportunity maybe I can help you with that."

To which he replied back.

"Perhaps.....as the opportunity present itself."

And as the talks turn to something else he listens to her.

"I totally agree there, Ronin. Sometimes situations are there where they are needed. I was raised to use proper titles so when I first meet somebody I do the same thing. You and I are in the same situation, I recently got Knight as well. Congratulations!"

In which time he replied back.

"Well, dunno guess that too can be true though it also helps from past experience help avoid trouble.As once found while navigating the back streets of town during my travels ... gain passage or work move from one planet work on one those transport ship And oh I see well guess congratulations are indeed in order as congratulate you too.."

As next she then spoke.

"I've been having trouble meditating as well and nightmares waking me when I sleep. You?

And he, in turn, could only nod.

"Well in a way it does......shadows can be troubling from time to time meditating. "

"Given the opportunity maybe I can help you with that."

 

[Jairdain]

"So you need to learn how to slow down and maybe smell the flowers as something like to say."

Even though she could see with the Force, it was rarely Jairdain rushed around. There were times though. Right now, she had been too engrossed in her book to have been paying attention to where she was going.

The conversation continued on its natural path and the talk of meditation. A mutual need of assistance may be needed and she gave Ronin half a smile.

"Of course, if the opportunity presents itself."

He mentioned a little about his past and she wondered what he had done in his life. Congratulating her as well, they shared another smile.

"My troubles have sprung up since I was engaged in a battle and it left me scarred. With a connection to the person I dueled."

Her skills were mostly mentally based, her attacks and defenses. Jairdain was a Force fighter and since that fight on Vjun, things had not been the same for her. She hoped the book she held in her hands would help her with that.

"That would be nice, Ronin.
May I know what brought you here?"

[member="Ronin Wendigo"]

 

[Ronin Wendigo]

[member="Jairdain"]

"So you need to learn how to slow down and maybe smell the flowers as something like to say."


She then came to reply which in passing brought a faint smirk on his face as mention of flowers reminded him of a certain someone in his somewhat recent past. Whom although he misses dearly he did not feel ready to face....not yet that is till he felt himself ready or worthy face her again after what happened last. But in any case push, this thought aside as talks thankfully turn towards meditation and the class he had early engaged in under Jairdain not too long ago which although he had been grateful for. Had on the flip side, even more, question than an answer at the same time did little to help ease the dark nightmares that plague him so since as far his memory permitted him to recall. That he couldn't help but give out a neutral yet guarded reply as he did. Which she seemed had taken well as replied back ...

"Of course, if the opportunity presents itself."

And soon came the exchange of congratulations for the other gain of Knighthood and exchange of smiles as she shares a word or two about her own troubles.

"My troubles have sprung up since I was engaged in a battle and it left me scarred. With a connection to the person I dueled."

To which he could only nod and show some semblance of empathy as best he could only recently learn to do openly. As despite it not outwardly showing he too kept hidden scars inside. Most of which he barely knew why or where it steam from for he felt himself not strong enough yet to break thru even begin the journey to work at them. But for now, all that he could recall was it involved some sort battle which hears her speak sort help him to further empathize with her. Enough to trust her with the truth regarding the shadows seem to kick up when he tried to engage meditating.

At any rate with her question posed as to why he was there that he felt torn.....say the truth or let out a little white lie as before with the other that caught him here in this part of the Temple. He no less decided with a slight sigh at first before speaking.

"Well....I was sort doing some personal reading. See if could make sense of things....like the planet Master, Coci found me in.....or maybe some clue about this person they say I was. Which I know sound kinda strange but .....it is as if there this void.....a part me that there that isn't.."

He then sort gave a nervous chuckle which tired hide his embarrassment as well relief. In the thought that since his return she'd be one of a handful, he felt comfortable enough to talk to. That is really talking to without any apprehension or hesitation. Despite the fact, he didn't quite know her other from the meditation class or passing glance of meeting her within the temple halls.

 

[Jairdain]

Her comment about the flowers had brought a small smirk to his face and Jairdain wondered what it meant, but kept silent. If he wanted to tell her he would. He did appear pleased to have run into her though and that was something.

When Jairdain answered his question about why she was in the library and this section, she felt a sense of sympathy from him and that somehow he could relate to her issue. Both of them having difficulties meditating or sleeping, it made sense.

She asked her question as to what brought him here and for a moment, Ronin hesitated in replying. Maybe taking time to pick his wording, that was something she would do from time to time. His answer confused her a little and she looked at him questioningly as he spoke.

"Part of your past is hidden from you?"

Her voice held no sound of disbelief or criticism, but an honest curiosity.

[member="Ronin Wendigo"]

 

[Ronin Wendigo]

[member="Jairdain"]

It was then as the two spoke he could quite help wish she'd not taken much notice about his reaction When the talks of flowers came up. As for what it's worth it was if anything a memory closest to his heart. And was not something he often spoke of candidly with anyone else but in time perhaps he would. Thought it if it would be now looking at her he figured it wouldn't much hurt to so he turns her speak. thought his thought shifted once he gazed back at her of what was said soon after that he ended up starting things off by.

"Yeah, I know....judging from the look on your face. It may not seem quite curious to one say it but for a while back. As far anyone from the temple knew I was dead and as far I myself knew there been this gaping hole in my memory about who or what I really was. A drifter no less I was out in the universe on my own. Till Master Coci found me in this darken planet out in farthest reaches of the galaxy not knowing the how or why...I guess in a way not really care back then as my thought been quite distracted with find a way out there. That it has been only lately that I come realize the only way I can move forward to seek the clues to where i came from. Thought i know the Master & healer mean well that i take things slow i just can't help want push forward so i come here try piece together place i've been to make sense of it all...."

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain got the feeling Ronin didn't speak easily about his past. He didn't open up much and was maybe reluctant to speak with her. She never had any issue speaking of her past since it had made who she was. To think that somehow a piece could be missing from her own memory was boggling and she didn't think that was the case.

"So you want to figure out what this hole is? What and who you are?"

She would try to help if he wanted it. Sometimes a different perspective was all that was needed before things clicked into place.

"What are you looking for exactly?"

Tipping her head slightly to the side. He would clearly tell he had her full attention.
​
[member="Ronin Wendigo"]

 

[Ronin Wendigo]

[member="Jairdain"]


It was then embarrassed and somewhat reluctant was he to speak of his dilemma to her as he did at first. Bu then again as he was no less well reminded by one the healers. That trust was more easily gain the more it was given so with this in mind he began open up speak to her a bit more easily as time pass. And he did not sense any untoward or negative feedback from her other than a brief yet curious.

"So you want to figure out what this hole is? What and who you are?"

To which he in turn unable find the words just nodded in response.And she then continued on speaking.

"What are you looking for exactly?"

At which time he slightly shrugs and replied.

"Well am not sure .....just maybe a name to the planet see if can backtrack see if could find my way back as far I can. Find clue why or where I had gone last before my disappearance. And maybe why I left ....to where it is I was."

"So you want to figure out what this hole is? What and who you are?"

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain listened to what Ronin had to say and wondered how she could help him.

"If you're looking for a place name, did you try to look it up on the holonet? You could type in like what information you have and see if it can find something."

She wouldn't be able to really help him with that since seeing what was on a screen was impossible for her. He may not have noticed her handicap, but there were times like now she wished she could see normally.

"Come on, I can show you where they are if you want me to. Where you can try searching."

[member="Ronin Wendigo"]

 

[Ronin Wendigo]

[member="Jairdain"]

It was then with seeming genuine interest she then seems come forth to then reply him soon after.

"If you're looking for a place name, did you try to look it up on the holonet? You could type in like what information you have and see if it can find something."

To which with a nod he continued on to speak.

" Yeah guess that would be so .....but then again after one too many misadventures, the archivist sort curtail my use of the holohet. Least they note I go on some ill-fated adventure which is why was sort well.....here now. I was not too keen to hang around back then so it took me while piecing things together but eventually sort have a rough estimate where look. I just need to confirm a few things....that all."

It was then seen something in the air clue him on something he sort seem missed initially. Although it would be perhaps all too obvious to someone else or perhaps staying here in the temple sort had its effect on him. But whatever the case he seems tried not state the obvious the more he spoke to her. That she in a way had her own impairment that as such brought an old saying come mind. About the blind leading ...and how the one-eyed man was king or such he passingly recalled. At any rate, she then came forth anyway to reply back him soon after.


"Come on, I can show you where they are if you want me to. Where you can try searching."

He then smiled and with a nod replied.

"Well guess in any rate that is a good start......besides reckon with you along the archivist won't mind much."

 

[Jairdain]

"Usually those misadventures make the best stories, Ronin. I'd like to hear some of yours, I mean if you're willing to share."

Jairdain had a few of her own that if he shared his, she would hers as well.

Her eyes lit up with her interest as she spoke, but as always they were not focused on anything. He had yet to make mention of her blindness and she figured it was more out of being polite than anything else.

Taking the lead, Jairdain went in the direction she knew the information could be looked up.

"You'll have to look it up yourself, but let me know if you find anything."

[member="Ronin Wendigo"]

 

[Ronin Wendigo]

"Usually those misadventures make the best stories, Ronin. I'd like to hear some of yours, I mean if you're willing to share."

She soon came say to which with a sheepish grin and one hand raised to rub the side his neck that Ronin replied back.

"....well I guess they do especially when it involves other Master and umm...students thought in hindsight. Yeah maybe be something we could talk about...thought it sort involved a certain Master daughter.....and a trip or two I found myself in."


At which time as thought turn to her he sort pause a tad bit unsure as memories of those times came to mind. As he then somewhat takes a hint of her unique situation of being one without sight. Which was something he was a tad bit reluctant bring up fear it might offend her or very least make her any more uncomfortable being that? He knew all too well how hard it was at the time be different or not like the others....to fall behind and have to adapt as he had during his time alone. But just the same he nod......to then speak,

"...not that we meant to cause any trouble.....as it was all an accident.....we sort happen to meet up in the archives as well. Was sort caught not paying attention in class so the Master in charge assigns me an extra reading assignment? To well help me focuse....we sort got talking and she came help me out and I wanted to make it up to her so when mention she wanted to travel. I kinda invited her to come slip out one day try out this ship was fixing up to take out for a spin. Got to test it and reach a not too far planet but unfortunately, we sort ran into some engine problem.

Took her mom and some the Master couple weeks find then get us back to the temple. Not to worse for wear but we did get back eventually.....but in any case, I was so keen to get off that rock that didn't quite pay attention what it was called. Got some idea or recollection that it was dark and further from any civilization or big trade point. Which been trying to see if could look up using those clue but then that where sort got lost......and might need some help looking for the section for near or outer rim settlements planet section....."

By that time she then seems to take a hind sort slowly did her best to seem recall using the clues given to lead the way as she then spoke lead the way.

"You'll have to look it up yourself, but let me know if you find anything."

To which he followed behind her and spoke.

"Will sure will.....and umm thanks....in advance?"

 

[Jairdain]

As they walked over to the holonet terminals, Jairdain listened to the story Ronin told her about one of his misadventures. What confused her slightly about it was she wasn't sure if this was the planet he was searching for or if it was for a different one. Both planets he said were dark and the one that was in this adventure he had only been gone a couple of weeks before he and his companion were found.

She chuckled as he spoke though about meeting this other person in the archives same as they had and then going off on an adventure.

"Maybe the same will happen to us."

One of Jairdain's weaknesses was wanting to get out and explore. Even though she was blind and couldn't see the sights of places, just staying in one place she found boring.

"Well, here are the holoterminals. Try typing in what you know of its location and physical description. I'm sure you'll find someplace to start."

[member="Ronin Wendigo"]