Private Open Wounds

[Scherezade deWinter]

Summer was quickly approaching according to the weather controls of the Scintilla. Scherezade had spent most of that day in the forgotten playground behind the Tower, her mind reeling over events of the past. There was little doubt as to how well she'd been doing for the past year. Since coming back from the Space Between Dimensions. She wasn't simply functional, for her ability to arrive on a field of battle had never been compromised in any way, not even when she'd been a staggering drunk.

And yet… Not even she could honestly admit that she was fine. Conversations with both Josh and Madalena had helped her dig deeper into it, though that hadn't been needed. Scherezade knew that the events of that night on Coruscant so long ago had left a scar not only in her heart, but in her soul as well. Part of why she was so busy most of the days, was because being busy meant she did not have to think about it.

She could still remember the moment everything snapped, how she had physically heard the cracking sound that spread to every inch of her existence. Fine lines had been present before, but that moment, with Katrine and Gerwald… She thought she had properly buried it, for the longest time. But the mission to Roon had uncovered it, had pushed her face straight into it.

Since coming back, Scherezade had been sleeping even worse than usual. Her nights were long, the seconds ticking by slower than she thought even possible. She would get up and wander around her ship, her glowing eyes looking at the baby pink wallpaper she'd hung to cover the blood magic, but she could still sense it was there, still beating slowly. Her doing. That part, had been entirely her own doing.

It was her protection. Never again did she want to be in such a position again. To know that all those whom she loved and cherished, who treated her like she was more than bantha dung, would not turn around and betray her as they had. Though she did have friends now, the level of intimacy she'd had with either of the original two was not something she had with anyone, for the simple reason that she was too scared. Even Josh, who had once been her best friend, she kept at arm's length, now more so than ever. And even with her actual sister, Madalena…

Scherezade sighed, and ran her hands along the wall of her ship's cargo space. The blood was still there. Old, crackling, and still so full of life, of power, and of pain. If she ever wanted to off herself again, she knew, it was better to just jump off a building and not try it through Blood Magic. Because the Blood never let you die. The Blood always made sure it would be sustained, as indefinitely as it could. She had learned that the hard way.

But…

But if it wanted her to sustain… Scherezade frowned, and walked to the kitchen space. She could feel the Force prickling beneath her skin, trying to seduce something out of her. But what? Her mind was running blanks, but her body knew exactly what to do.

Glowing green eyes continued to stare as her limbs moved of their own accord now. Taking a bowl from the cupboard, placing it on the table in a most mechanic fashion, one of her knives found its way into her hand and she cut true and deep, going from wrist to elbow, letting the blood pool in the bowl. Ripples from an invisible breeze appeared, and Scherezade peered into the bowl.

Sentences sounded over each other, a mumble of voices, one of which she had not heard in nearly two years, the other one for a year. She would recognize those voices anywhere, but she could not understand why she would be shown this, why now, after all this time. The frustration made way for anger and pain now. These were not memories she wanted to relive, not ever. If she had a way of removing them, she would have done so long ago, but she knew it was too dangerous, not if she still wanted to be herself.

With a grumble, Scherezade grabbed a bacta patch and slammed it against the open wound, wincing in discomfort. The memories swirled, going from her bowl to her mind. Her breathing became hard, ragged. This was not what she wanted. This was never what she wanted. Grabbing the bowl, Scherezade slammed it as hard as she could against the wall with a scream, small pieces of glass flying all around, blood spattering.

A moment later, still bleeding, and now crying too, she picked up her commdevice.

"M… Maddy?" Scherezade sobbed.

She didn't sleep 'at home' that night.

Katrine Van-Derveld​

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

Just a couple of years back, Katrine Van-Derveld Hawk couldn't have begun to imagine the life she led now. She had once been the Nightmother of Mandragora, on Ryloth, she had been active within the Confederacy, set to wed and rule side by side a man she'd thought was her perfect mate. She'd thought many things and then she'd discovered something about herself. The Lupine Princess faded from known worlds then, retreating to the one place she sought safety in. It was a thing to process, to understand just what it had meant. At the age of twenty, the blonde hadn't quite pictured her life going the way it did yet, each of them was given a plan, a destiny. This had to had been hers.

For months to come, the future Queen of Figaro Favoura VII remained out of sight, training herself and studying the history of her race to pass the time and better prepare herself. In time of her greatest pain, she'd called to her Mom, desperate to have her at her side. For the first time, Curupira had shown, though she had come too late to help her through her screams, through her pain, the young girl going through the thing by herself, away from others. The humans on the planet dared not to approach her. A wailing hurt Lupine was twice as dangerous, the natives had known all too well. That day, Katrine had cried. Her tears her of joy, pain, longing for a world she'd left behind, for the parents and siblings she'd abandoned in search of her big sister, for the curse she'd broken and a pain locked inside her head through magic though she hadn't understood why she was crying still. Then, eventually, Curupira had arrived at Figaro Favoura VII, just in time to help her in what was coming next.

In the time after, the seemingly former Nightmother had ventured back into the world she'd once been actively part of, participating in events but keeping to herself for the future Queen now held a secret she was willing to die for, willing to kill to protect; and there was nothing or no one that would keep her away from the happiness and fear she'd discovered. With the newly found responsibility, she grew and matured herself. The business of the galaxy seemed less of her problem than it had been. In her absence though, the Confederacy changed. Mandragora changed. Not her Mandragora, not at all. The spirits were still very much with her, with her family yet they drifted from the historical places, from the followers that only claimed they were still Mandragora. The spirits went where Katrine went, never leaving her side.

Now, she'd watched the little one move unceremonially through the sun-exposed room of The Schwartzweld, causing her to smile as she sat to the side, book in her lap forgotten as she'd watched her. "Larentia, come," she called, reaching out her hand towards the child. As wibbly wobbly time had worked, the blonde Lupine had in a moment of confusion told her Mother that her daughter's name was Larentia Satara Van-Derveld Hawk, named after her Lupine protector and the great grandmother that had such a powerful influence on her childhood. From the other end of the room, another blonde stood as the little one ran to her Mother, one of the servants approaching with glasses. Katrine reached for the glass, putting the book on the side just before the glass would fall to the ground, shattering as she'd felt it.

Her eyelids fell at the flash of light. Hand passed against the wall, the metal stripping before her eyes, from perfection revealing scratch marks before the wall too faded and the hands seemed to be reaching out for her. Her whole body shook, causing the little girl to stop and scream as Curupira walked towards her. Blood dripped into the red liquid, causing waves to spread over as images appeared, voices formed clear as voice but words muffled. Katrine recognized the faces and voices, her body continuing the convulse against the strength of her vision. Curupira had instructed the maid to take the little one as she moved closer still.

"My heart is heavy, my truth exhausts my soul, Katrine heard her own voice through the echoes of time, the darkness was wrong, the sound of her voice breaches through again. "My name...my name is Scherezade deWinter of Endelaan," a second voice entered her thoughts as her own voice faded. Nails scratched against the metal wall, blood dripped into the red liquid, faces appeared again, the vision repeated. A girl cried in the distance, before Katrine's eyes opened, white shadows dancing through her sapphire irises. She was looking up at Curupira who was holding her now but she wasn't seeing her at all as she saw here the vision had come, the location vivid in her mind.

Then the whiteness in her eyes faded and tears streamed down her face, looking up at the only Mother Katrine had at this time. "Kat?" Curupira had called to her, her eyes focusing on the golden gaze of the Dathomiri in front of her. "Are you alright?" The other blonde wondered when Katrine said nothing. The girl, now twenty-two of age stared up as she sighed, nodding her head then shaking it. "Yeah, I don't know," the Lupine confessed leaning forward, her palms running through her face before giving the other woman another look. "Where's Larentia?" She wondered after a beat. "I sent her away," the reply had come, making her nod.

"Ready her, I have to leave Figaro Favoura VII," she instructed. Katrine could almost hear the unasked question from the older woman. "I... I think I have to see an old friend." It was the only way she could see herself putting it. "Are you sure?" Curupira questioned as she stood from her seat, on her way out of the court, when she'd stopped, turning. "She belongs at my side. I cannot leave her behind," Katrine pointed out, seeing the other woman nod before she'd turned the other way. The two of them had had a rocky start since Curupira's return but the newly discovered responsibility for the Lupine had made her call out to her Mother all too naturally. She'd longed for the woman that had raised her though, she'd understood that day with the woman who only knew of them not feeling the same. Her own Mother was Lupine, had raised four children singlehandedly for the most part. This woman had had her doubts about whether she was a good substitute, fled from her for so long. Now though, they had, to an extent found common ground, both of them learning how to raise the small child in their care, the responsibility drawing them closer for the first time. It had often made her wonder whether this was the life they'd meant to lead. Mother always seemed so wise, so good with her, Katrine could hardly fault her. Perhaps it was already raising Chloe but now, she wondered. Maybe long before her own children, Curupira Hawk had played a hand in raising her own grandchild; or maybe, this was changing the future in ways neither of them could imagine...

Lost in her thoughts, Katrine gathered necessary things before she'd returned to her chamber, Curupira assisting the servant in preparing her daughter for the journey. Katrine had joined them, planting a kiss on the little girl's forehead, causing the little blonde pup to give her the biggest smile before her focus turned to seemingly nothing. Katrine could see the demon spirit there though, knowing full well the ichor in the child's blood opened her to towards the spirits just as it had helped Katrine long ago. The of them possessed a gift, strengthened by the presence of the spirit ichor, one imbued by it, the other born with it. With the maid helping the little one off the bed, the three departed Figaro Favoura VII.

Her daughter had not been off the planet yet so her excitement was practically dripping off her as they traveled on the speeder towards Nocte Aranea, little one's blue gaze lighting up as it grew larger, the closer they got to it. Katrine kept watching her from the side before she focused on the ship. Katrine rarely used the old ship, a declaration of her power. Her Nightmother MK1, created by Aegis Corporation and House Verd Inc. It once set to announce the greatness of Mandragora. Today, it would serve to ensure the protection of her heir, the weaponry on it far greater than that of other ships in her possession. As the gates entered, several servants stepped out, trained to man the monstrosity of the ship. One person could hardly pilot the whole thing by herself, even Katrine.

The three boarded the ship, Larentia still in awe of the ship, muttering something into the corner. Any other parent would worry but Katrine knew exactly whom she was talking to. As long it was the spirits of the Mandragora, her daughter would be safe. Settled into their seats, Katrine felt Curupira reaching out, praying for their safe return. The next moment, she'd glanced to the little one, reaching out to take her hand as the Nocte Aranea lifted off the ground, departing from the planet...

Scherezade deWinter

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

A few days later…

It was a lazy sunny afternoon. Scherezade sat on Madalena's balcony, knees tucked under her chin, a cup of full fat cream with ice cubes resting near her. Her wound had already healed perfectly, not even a scar remaining, but the weird feeling that had taken hold of her that night had not yet let go. It was almost as though everything she was seeing was filtered, blurry yet sharp, exactly as it were and at the same time nothing like it at all.

Her sister was off, tending to the matters of the Wild Hunt, but Scherezade, having chosen to hold no official position in the Agents of Chaos, had no missions lined up for the day and was basically free to do whatever she wanted. Sleep still mostly eluded her, though sleeping with her sister's arms around her had brought a touch of peace to the long nights.

It wouldn't last though. Her sister was not her babysitter, and she was going to have to leave the safety of the warm penthouse on Eve sooner or later. Probably sooner. Baal padded over, laying his large head on her lap. Scherezade smiled, putting her hands on his head and petting him, letting her finger run through the line between his eyes and up to his forehead that he had enjoyed ever since he was still a tiny pup.

Rising from her seat, Baal stood up too. He now towered over the Sithling, a good few heads. Scherezade smiled, giving him a hug. "Come on," she whispered, "Let's go for a run."

Five minutes later, the two of them were outside of the building, their legs already taking them quickly outside of the city. It was a few kilometers that they had to wade through, and then another forty five minutes of running just to get to the edge of the city, where the forests began. It was a shame that it was right smack in the middle of the day; Scherezade loved the forests of Eve, but mostly at around dusk, when the fairy lights went up and the entire thing looked almost magical.

It was well over an hour and a half since they'd started that Scherezade called for a pause, by one of the lakes. She stopped by the water bank, bending down to take a sip, when the surface rippled again.

The Sithling frowned, glaring at the water. No. Running was supposed to take your mind off of things and make everything easier to handle, but plague you with things that were already on your mind. But the feeling, that prickling beneath her skin, it was there again. Scherezade bent and punched the water, feeling droplets land on her face and arms, but she still was not satisfied. The Force still lingered.

Baal moved, pressing his snout against Scherezade's shoulder. "You bastard," she whispered. Baal probably knew what was going on. Baal always knew what was going on, and he never said a word about it to anyone. She knew he knew how to speak, but he would not talk to her. She was too old. He would love her, and be there for her as a companion, but he would never speak to her. If she had children some day, and he was still around, it would be them that he spoke to.

Sighing, she kissed the top of his head and looked around.

That feeling, that blasted feeling, still lingered. But… Scherezade blinked. It intensified when she looked towards where the Eve Dockyard was. And that.. Was weird. Was her ship calling her back? She looked to Baal again, who shook his head for a fraction of a moment before turning himself towards the docks.

It was going to be another hour or two of running to get there.

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

Further back within the ship, the dotting young Mother colored with her daughter to pass the time, making the most adorable conversations she had ever had in her life, Katrine could swear. "Twis is your color, Mae," little Larentia explained to her as she handed her the purple crayon, making her smile. "Why, thank you, Pup." The use of the nickname made the little one giggle as she'd reached for another one, returning to her own drawing was a mix of figures and abstract, Katrine noted glancing over before she'd returned back to her own drawing.

Once the drawings were completed and hung up onto the wall, they'd engaged in a game of hide-and-seek within the quarters, with a giggling little girl revealing her location all too quickly while Katrine pretended she couldn't find her.

At nights, she would tell her bedtime stories of the Princess' many adventures, which was mostly just stories of her but the little wolf seemed so captivated by what she was hearing, the excitement keeping her away from all the way through the story then her little eyes would close as tiredness had taken her.

Most of the few days on the ship had been used up, her attention with her daughter but when the little wolf went to sleep, Katrine would crawl onto her own bed, eager to occupy her mind in some other way, only to find some fragment of the vision would sneak back in as if to remind her what the purpose of this journey was. Her eyes rolled back, an image flashing before her eyes again, going further into the memory. "Like be being a pebble. How is that even possible?" The same old voice repeated. Katrine, however, felt a blankness to the words even though she knew she'd once felt something towards the girl. The spell once cast made her remember it all but feel nothing, in order to move on. Those memories were buried deep in order to allow the blonde Lupine to live her life the way she'd been sure she would. Now, though as she could see again, her sapphire gaze shifted back to the small bed in the end of her quarters, locks of light brown hair in sight, Katrine thought back on that sentence. To live her life the way she'd been sure she would. It seemed so lovely back then, a beautiful bright future awaiting two people. Katrine had been wrong. When she'd disappeared, she was not followed. When she'd realized her body was preparing for something so shocking and beautiful, it was not felt. There was only her with a growing pup inside her. I was all alone, she thought to herself then.

Tsk. Tsk. A familiar spirit spoke up then from the shadows, causing the Witch to smile. She was never alone.

Maybe Katrine shouldn't have run, maybe it would have made a difference. She doubted that very much now, remembering her parents, remembering all the time Father appeared just when Mother hadn't expected him. He was always there, no matter what. Larentia's Father wasn't. He'd moved on with his life. And that wouldn't be alright completely, if Katrine had not been so sure in a different outcome for them, one that had made her make the choices she had done.

"Your Highness, we will reach our destination in the morning," the voice came through the intercom, startling her. It had been an odd journey, though the type of journey her crew would have been used to, having pointed on the map where their destination had been, only to surprise her pilots of something even being there once they'd looked into. Quickly, Katrine focused back to the sleeping girl, to make sure she wouldn't wake. Larentia had only stirred in her sleep before she'd calmed. Quickly, Katrine used her own device to answer. "Thank you," she'd only muttered into it before getting under the covers for a few hours of sleep.

Her eyes opening sometime after, she'd find two blue irises staring down at her. Katrine peeked up, having felt her near her while still pretending to be asleep before she'd launched her attack, pulling the little one into a giggle war. Larentia was defenseless, giggling away. "Mae!" The girl just kept screaming at her happily. The rest of the time left on the ship, the two had gone through their morning routine, which included clothing and feeding before the announcement had arrived just as Katrine had been brushing Larentia's hair. "Where are we go'ng?" The small child asked, swallowing some words still as she spoke. "Are going to see someone special," Katrine responded, keeping her eyes on the little one through the mirror, wondering herself if that was true. It sounded odd saying it so especially since it wasn't even how it felt.

Just then, instead of her own reflection and that of her own daughter, Katrine saw the mirror crack, cracks slowly spreading from the center. "... see the break of dawn in your darkness... break free from it before it consumes...," her own voice felt so distant as the mirror continued to crack. "Release me, as I release her." Katrine shivered as she watched, unaware that her two-year-old was watching her int hat very moment. "Mae?" Sapphire gaze shifted, the mirror fine as the vision faded from her. A small smile appeared on her face before she'd helped the little one off the chair, taking her hand as they departed the ship, one of the servants running behind them. "We'll be fine," Katrine instructed as they'd walked out into the clear day. City, Katrine noted, while Larentia's eyes went wide at the sight of other ships, people walking around. The Witch leaned down, picking up her daughter before making her way towards the transports.

Once they were in though, she realized she didn't quite know where they were headed. "City Center," finally decided on random, securing the little one into her seat before they'd sped off, leaving the docks soon enough. "Mae! Mae!" Larentia suddenly distracted her, suddenly excited for their surroundings. It was most certainly a forest but it was a different forest from what Figaro Favoura VII offered. "Stop," she instructed quickly. "Wait for us here, we'll take a walk," Katrine instructed, releasing the two-year-old out of her restraints before they'd exited, taking in the sights of very different surroundings. The call she'd felt earlier seemed stronger here than it had been back home but as Larentia sped up ahead someone clumsily, Katrine didn't have time to focus on that, hurrying after her.

Scherezade deWinter

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Katrine Van-Derveld​

Sweat was beginning to pour down her back, some on her face. It had been a while since she'd been out for this type of run.

When she'd lived on Geonosis, every morning would start that way, unless she was out on a mission. People loved to complain about the weather on that planet, and Scherezade had hated it as well, but there was a certain coolness to the air, just around dawn, that she had fallen in love with, even during her drunk days. People who lived close to the dockyard near the Citadel had become used to seeing her there, with her quickly growing loth wolf.

But now, since becoming an Agent of Chaos, her work outs had changed as well. Her endurance was fine so she put more effort on dexterity, litheness, speed of movement, and Force-less strength. Her body had not changed much during that time; perhaps, a little bit more toned, but the overall measurements had remained the same. Scherezade had been born to be a larger woman, much like her sister, and much, she assumed, like some of the other potential siblings.

And yet, barely ten minutes had passed since she and Baal had left the lake, before she sensed something. Coming to a full stop, Scherezade gasped, and with a tiny shriek, stepped aside, using the Force to conceal herself from others who might sense her through it. Baal looked at her with a quizzical expression, probably wondering why the woman was suddenly being weird, but not a sound came from Scherezade as she instead of explaining anything, just climbed on a tree, her arms pulling her up faster than she thought she'd be able to after that run.

Everyone who knew Scherezade knew of her love for knives. Even now, out in the open like that, she still carried two, instead of the usual fifteen blades or more she carried into battle with her. And as she sat high up on the branches, one of her knives slid into her hands. She didn't know why she was holding it, or for what purpose; to date, the only time she'd had to use force outside of training anywhere in the Scintilla, it was because they had been invaded by the Empire of Rannon. But the Empire of Rannon had long ago ceased pestering them, and the Scintilla had gone back to being its peaceful self.

But now… She could still feel the Force swirling around inside her, trying to… To warn her? Krak's sake, Scherezade was a brute strength warrior with a knack for blood stuff, she wasn't some Sith Sorceress who knew how to interpret what the Force wanted from her. Sometimes it tugged and she followed, sometimes she created spells that went wrong, but that was more or less it. And now she was sitting up in a tree like some Hutt on a pogostick trying to make sense of something when all her senses had felt off for days.

And yet, when first a little child appeared, and then followed by a blonde, Scherezade couldn't breathe.

Two years. It had been two years since she'd last lay eyes on Katrine, the woman who had adopted her as a sister and then brought her back to life only to murder her soul. Scherezade had left her ship that night, releasing the woman. She'd seen her, from a distance, once or twice after that, but nothing she could actually count.

Any notion of the child vanished from Scherezade's mind. She frowned, and tossed her knife, letting it land two feet before Katrine Van-Derveld and well away from the child. The child did not interest her, she had no reason to want to do it any harm on Scintillian soil.

"What the skrog do you think you're doing here," came the words after she jumped down from the tree, landing a few feet away, two glowing eyes looking at the shorter blonde. She wished, oh Force, how she wished there was anger in her voice. She wanted to scream at Katrine, even after all this time, she wanted to pull her hair out and do things that would make even Grindalid shudder with horror.

Except for the part where she didn't want to do that as well. The cheese grater, the knives, the pain. None of it. For two years, Scherezade had walked around carrying that, feeling it, even when it was deeply buried. She has faulted Katrine endlessly for her choices, even when fronted with the fact that ultimately had the roles been reversed she would have done the same, even if gentler and spread over longer.

And now Katrine was here. HERE! In the Scintilla! Come out of her hiding, wherever it was, after two years of being considered MIA by the Confederacy, instead running back to Ryloth and claiming back her position as Nightmother, she was here, where Scherezade was. Why?!

Scherezade had tried for so long to pretend it had never happened. On evenings with her actual sister, she had tried to pretend that having her actual sister meant that it didn't matter she no longer had the one who had adopted her, that she had gotten over the need of wanting to be loved by others, that there were people who wanted them around her. It had been so much easier that way.

And the pain… It had never released her. Despite becoming among the top combatants in the Confederacy, despite managing to do so many things with her life, she was still, despite it all, little more than the accumulation of her traumas.

Which was exactly why there was no anger in her voice, none of it.

What was there instead, by the heaps, too tangible to miss, was pain.

Trying to swallow that pain down, Scherezade called for her knife, and it flew right back into her hand.

Pain.

No one loves you. No one will love you. You had two people when you went into the Darkness. When you come out of it, you will have none.

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

"Ren!" Katrine found herself shouting after the little one as she chased after, both of them laughing, unaware of others around them. Her whole face change as she felt something. It came as a chill on the back of her neck, like something, was just behind her, watching her. The Lupine spun at the sensation finding nothing and no one. Could it be a wild animal, she wondered as she looked back to the toddler, moving towards her.

Ahead of her Larentia was carefree, happy to be running through the forest again. Though the pupper had years before she'd be able to change to her wolf form, she'd spent the only life she'd known on a planet filled with so much nature that she even a few days on a spaceship had confused her so much; which was why Katrine had opted to spend her entire time with her to ensure she was more at ease with the whole thing. "Larentia, stop," Katrine carefully moved ahead, summoning the Force to her before she'd prevent the child from going on further. She acted on instinct even though she knew full well the little one would be startled but her need to protect her only child from whatever was watching was far greater than anything right now.

Considering what she had been feeling, high in alert, summon the Force to her as she walked ahead, forcing Larentia stop in her movements just as the knife had fallen before her feet, quickly followed with someone dropping right in front of her. Katrine froze, stared, her pupils dilating in evident shock of a face she hadn't expected to see. The Witch knew exactly who the girl had been though she was more surprised by the fact that she hadn't felt her in proximity when she knew she was more than familiar with the other girl's signature. She'd taken her in, she had trained her. Her signature should have been as familiar as any Witch on Dathomir, even after so many years.

So, why can't I see you? She wondered to herself, still looking at her.

Scherezade deWinter spoke to her, swearing as she did. What did she think about what she was doing here, Katrine had heard the question though the question despite the words didn't seem like an angry one. How odd, the Lupine thought, the words and feelings didn't seem to match. Weirder still, without question, was that Katrine Van-Derveld still, even this very moment, could not see the girl that had once been in her hare. "Larentia, walk back to Mae," Katrine instructed the child in the distance, fighting against her hold while her sapphire gaze focused oh Scherezade. "Ok, Mae," the little one finally said after many fights, slowly, coming closer but her confused little expression observing the brunette.

While Katrine was wary about her daughter coming near the girl, well aware of their history, she also knew Scherezade was in a way a person that would harm Larentia, and it was far better for the two-year-old to toddle back closer to her than wander off on her own, which she was liable of doing. "Scherezade," Katrine had said back as if addressing a comrade she didn't really know all that well. Even though Katrine knew, she didn't see. Even though she knew what she felt once, the girl in front of her was just a girl. The notion of Pebble was just that, a notion. Like the first word of a book, she didn't enough to care about. Once, there seemed a purpose for that, now eye to eye to the girl whom she has released once, she didn't care to recall.

"Scherezade," she heard herself repeat the name, inhaling a sharp breath as she did, the feeling of mistake sunk in suddenly. Nails scratched into the metal wall, the image flashed over her eyes. "I didn't know you were here, on this planet." There seemed nothing she could possibly say to her, Katrine realized as the toddler started circling the stranger, still making her way back to her Mae.

Scherezade deWinter

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Katrine Van-Derveld​

For several heart beats, Scherezade had forgotten that there was a child there at all. Only when Katrine called out to someone named… Larentia? Scherezade blinked. Somewhere in the back of her mind, the name rang familiar, but she couldn't focus on that now. Not when Katrine was standing right in front of her, looking at her like a stranger and not like one of the two who had taken everything from the little bit that Scherezade had ever had at that point in her life.

She groaned, and shook her head. "The child is safe," she half spat out, "No one will harm her here, and I have no interest in her." Oh, she understood very well what the Mae meant. But even as the daughter of Katrine, Scherezade wouldn't hurt her. Didn't mean she wouldn't let her die if she caught in the fires, but she wouldn't intentionally go after her. There was no fun or satisfaction in undoing weak foes, but a toddler wasn't even a foe by any stretch of imagination.

"And it's not a planet," she added. Try as she might, every word still came out with that pain, with that hurt. It was by luck or by Force that the breeze didn't go from Larentia to Scherezade, or she would've understood immediately who the father of the child was. Sometimes the Force did take pity.

Her second knife slid into her other hand. "Do you remember the last promise I made to you?" Scherezade asked. Those who listened very carefully might have noticed the incredibly slight tremble to her voice, though she hoped it would remain deeply buried, hidden, "I promised… That if I ever saw you again, I would kill you."

That had been her promise. Made right on Katrine's ship. It was also a promise that she had broken - more than once, if memory served right, though the previous times there was quite a distance between them, and Scherezade had used that as the excuse to not doing it. To not just throw a knife and have it land between Katrine's eyes. But not even to herself had she admitted that the reason she hadn't done it was because she couldn't.

But Katrine didn't need to know that.

Scherezade blinked and looked at the blonde. The last time they had met, Scherezade had been an entirely different person. In pain, breaking, crying, falling apart in every possible way… And not a blood hound yet. It was only months later that she discovered the Tome of Blood which unlocked her existence as a Blood Hound.

So there would be no knives.

Without moving from her place, Scherezade used the Force to call Katrine's blood. Not enough to hurt her, not enough to make her bleed, but only to warm it up ever so slightly, with the hopes of getting Katrine to worry and be afraid. She knew she had the power to clean her body of the blood entirely, but that was not the goal. Just… Just scare her, unless she had a way out of it, scare her into going away.

Some wounds could never properly heal.

And this, Scherezade knew too intimately, was one of them.

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

Sapphire gaze narrowed ever so slightly as she heard Scherezade speak of her daughter, claiming she would be safe and unharmed. ...and I have no interest in her, the other girl had said and the Lupine unintentionally looked to the toddler still making tiny steps towards her, before she'd looked back. Appearently, they were not on a planet at all. "Right." A single word left her mouth as Katrine recalled what she'd been told once she'd pointed where she wanted the ship to go. A Sphere Space Station thing, something of it. It wasn't what the Lupine had dwelled on at all at the time, more focused on the destination itself, on the vision that had clouded out her.

Did she remember?

The promise was a vague memory, far in her mind, like the words had been said to someone else.

"I remember," she still said, though if Scherezade knew her at all anymore, she would know full well this wasn't word said by Katrine to Pebble. These were words of a stranger to a stranger. Even the Witch knew this, still keeping her sapphire gaze to the other girl, watching her. Larentia moved closer, still keeping far from the woman she didn't know. She'd been taught to be wary of strangers, to never approach them and even hide from them and most importantly, keep to eithe Katrine or Curupira if trouble arose.

Was Scherezade going to be trouble to her and her daughter, despite what she had said?

Even with acknowledging what had been said in the past, the deWinter girl still reminded her of those words. Yes, that was it. Death. Her expression hadn't faltered still. The threat had it been said to her or someone else who had stood in front of Scherezade deWinter that day? Katrine remembered the words, she didn't remember the pain that had followed, the pain of loss, the pain of betrayal she had committed. They had both loved, and the choice had been made. The wrong choice had been made, but a choice never the less. Katrine had chosen the love of a man over her own sister. A Witch would have never betrayed her blood, she would never betray her clan. It was her that broke a promise, a bond.

And for what?

For a love that didn't last.

Light flashed against the sapphire and her vision blurred just as the mirror cracked just a little further.

Just then it had happened. The inside of her body begun to warm and her whole body shifted slightly above the ground as if her insides were starting to escape. Her head rose and arms gripped against the air as she tried, oh, she tried to break free, fighting against the pull. Cold sweat dripped against her face, her need to protect her pup forcing her to fight against.

"S...st...stop," Katrine barely managed. Against her fighting, the image of the mirror cracked a little further as she pleaded.

Her body still fought against it, her face showing signs of wincing against the pull. It like her insides wanted to escape and even though she couldn't feel the presence of the girl within the Force, she knew it was Scherezade that was doing it. "I... I'm...," Katrine struggled against the pain. "..I'm...sorry," the Lupine managed against the pain.

It was hard to tell though whether she was beginning to feel or if she was fearful of not being able to protect her pupper. The wolf kept fighting to protect, the Witch felt the glass shattering against her skin. On the inside, her blood urged to escape, causing her pain and on the outside, the glass, chafing against the skin as the mirror inside her vision parameter cracked. The Witch and the Wolf struggled against each other, inward and outward, two different pains crushing against her being.

Scherezade deWinter

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Katrine Van-Derveld​

Scherzade blinked. Even through her own emotional turmoil of seeing Katrine in the last place she'd ever expected her to, she had not thought she would be so quickly successful against the former Nightmother. The woman was a Witch, a trained Force User, who had taught Scherezade a lot of abilities in the early days during which they spent time together as sisters.

For a moment her gaze moved to the child, but she couldn't focus on her now. She'd told Katrine the truth - she had no interest in her spawn, not for good, not for bad.

But then her attention returned to Katrine. Katrine… was not fighting her. She was pleading for her to stop, but she wasn't actually doing anything.

"What is this?" Scherezade demanded, taking a step closer to the witch, "Is this some sort of trick?"

She could see the pain on the blonde's face, had heard her words of I'm sorry. She knew Katrine theoretically didn't lie, but people would be hard pressed to say anything when they had their blood getting warmer and boiling from the inside. It was never a pleasant sensation, and Scherezade could be out right brutal when she executed the trick.

"Stop that!" she said, and released the blood, "There's no satisfaction if you ragdoll through it. Fight me!"

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

Her insides still struggled but the cracks from just inside her skin grew stronger. The mirror had shattered before her eyes, falling towards the darkness as glimpses of light danced against it. Scherezade spoke, questioning, moving closer. Katrine could feel her but in her own turmoil, she didn't; she couldn't do anything. I will swear with blood upon it. Through the veil, she heard a whisper. I'm right here if you need me. Her own voice came through. Katrine knew the words came out of order, out of context but they still belonged to them; Scherezade and Katrine.

"P...please," the blonde muttered. Despite Scherezade telling her to stop, she was pleading with the Force more than she was pleading with the girl now. Pain broke through first, enveloped her through the warmth of the insides, the burn from within.

You shouldn't limit yourself before you've tried, another memory followed, as the sapphire irises glowed stronger against the visions. For me, damage is all I do. The mirror in her vision kept falling, shattering further. Her skin felt like it was being cut by a thousand daggers. Cut. Cut. Cut. For a moment, in reality, the cuts appeared against the flesh of her arms, like the glass from her vision pierced through, visually appearing as the spell broke. Pebble.

Heavy heart, broken soul.
Heavy heart, broken soul.
Spirits, Mothers, Gods, restore the hidden.
Remember, never forget.
Remmeber, never forget.​

Inside her, the ichor, like razor boiled. In the distance, the spirits had chanted against the veil, chanted against the presence of the two sisters once. Three spirits, threefold the magic.

Katrine screamed. Her scream turned into a scream of the Force as the cuts continued, green ichor shining through them, breaking the spell, shattering it. Images flashed against Katrine's mind. The woman with green eyes, the pebble, the training, Gerward, the threat, Larentia's birth. It all came crashing down at her at once, tears streaming down her face. It had been the missing link, the missing piece of her heart Katrine hadn't known to unlock when she had left, not fully understanding it had meant. The spell had worked too well, a mirage of awareness but keeping her from seeing the truth. Katrine Van-Derveld had betrayed her kin for a love unworthy. Her eyes had shut at the scream, only to widen widely.

Scherezade deWinter

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Katrine Van-Derveld

She'd released Katrine from her assault upon her blood, but Katrine was still taking damage. She saw the cuts open, and while it was ichor that came through them, the opening allowed her to smell Kat's blood inside her body as well. And now that it was open, ther were many things she could scent about it. She could feel Katrine's species, the Lupine, and she could feel the amounts of magic that had coursed through her body during all her years, some of them leaving a mark while others a simple echo. The Blood Hound couldn't tell one spell apart from the other, or even tell which one was what, but it was more than enough to take her by surprise and make her freeze.

No, it was still not fun. Katrine was supposed to fight Scherezade, not herself.

Her eyes darted to the girl, the girl who could only be Katrine's daughter, since even though Scherezade had often thought Katrine was babysitting her, she'd never actually seen it happen with other people. Perhaps she was wrong, but the age, the... The everything, really. And though Scherezade didn't see children as something that requires a different sort of attention than adults, she still didn't think the kid had to see what her mommy was going through.

With a sigh, she raised her arms, and the earth around her and Katrine began to rise, forming a circular room around them, blocking them from the little girl's sight. SHe would be safe in the forests, she knew. This was just something… Well. Damnit.

And then the Force scream came. Standing at such close proximity to each other, and not having sensed that it was coming, Scherezade was thrown backwards, her back flattening against the wall of the earth before she fell to the ground, blinking in confusion. She wanted to jump right back in and slice Katrine's throat from ear to ear, but something was stopping her.

She groaned, and forced herself back up to her feet. No. The scream was part of the damage that Katrine was taking.

"Okay, chill," she tried to calm her down in that horrible way that only Scherezade was capable of, "I can't kill you if you're triggered. I want you at your best before I do that."

Closing her eyes, Scherezade dove into the blood again. The ichor had to be coming from somewhere, and short of nails, blood was present in quite literally every part of the body. She tried to touch it, to swim within through the Force.

"Let me through," she said softly, "I can help…"

If Katrine would let her, Scherezade had every intention of diving into that blood and to help her - to separate the ichor from the blood, to make Katrine's life fluids as pure as they could be from whatever it was that was affecting her. Even in the best of conditions, she knew it would not be completely clean - she could remove effects by the separation, but whatever scars and marks would remain could not be removed by the Sithling. But she could that if, and only if, Katrine would choose to let her.

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

The blood inside her was no longer pushing forward, ichor was still cutting through her. She could still feel Larentia near as if that was reminding her she needed to stop this herself; be strong for her daughter. Then she became a little more distant just before her scream had come in, her body shaking involuntarily; followed by intense breathing.

Stop this, Katrine ordered herself, she needed to pull herself together. Okay, chill, the ever-familiar voice spoke, now clearer than it had been just moments ago. Pebble was here, next to her. After she had wronged her, she was here; she was telling her to relax.

Scherezade couldn't kill her if she was triggered. Triggered.

That was the very wrong word to describe what had happened to her but the pieces of the shattered mirror were still coming together in her mind and heart, repairing themselves as the ichor kept cutting through her flesh, razor-sharp; forcing her to recognize it inside her. Truth. No shield, no fake reflection. Only the truth.

I can help... Her vision cleared as the sapphire gaze looked up, met the green gaze. Greener than it had been in her memories, Katrine realized before she saw the walls raised. "Ren," she muttered between deep breaths before pulling back from the offered arm. "No, stop," she pleaded again, drawing back into the wall as she tried to focus her breathing. "The ichor is part of my blood, it's responding to a spell broken."

Katrine remembered making the spell, she remembered there was the purpose to it once but with the spell cast, it had been a footnote in her memory, something just beyond her reach. It shouldn't have been, she should have remembered everything about Scherezade, just love her a little less. Instead, it had become that thing just at the corner of her eye, something she didn't want her to see. It made the Witch weaker in many ways, locked away from the truth of her emotions. And emotions made her strong, they always had.

She was staring at the green-eyed-girl now. "I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling it crash into her, the light against her cuts pulsing weaker now as her senses regained. "I was horrible to you. I thought the love was true, I thought he did love me." The truth was, she'd wondered but never admitted. Even looking at Larentia, whom she held on so tight that she didn't even trust Curupira with her back on Figaro Favoura VII when she traveled this far. She was so terrified of losing her too when she had lost him but she had never had him.

Larentia, she thought, her head moved left and right, seeing the walls. "Where is she? Where's Ren?"

On the outside, the two-year-old had been staring at the scene, her Mae clearly in pain and then the walls had risen. She still knew Mae was behind it, she could feel her. She'd panicked somewhat but then knowing that Mae was right there settled her. Ren had hardly ever been apart from Katrine since the day she had been born. "Mae?"

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Katrine Van-Derveld

Katrine didn't want her help. Scherezade folded her arms across her chest, a grumpy expression appearing on it. Well there went that. It was absolutely rude of the witch to decline the help being offered, especially after she knew that unless the situation was solved, Scherezade wouldn't be able to kill her.

Well, technically, she could, but where would be the fun in that?!

Sighing, Scherezade ceased to stop trying to clean the blood of the active ichor. KRAK. She just wanted to punch her face now. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that after all this time she finally had the chance to do what she promised to do, but the situation didn't allow for that to properly happen.

And why was she here anyway?! The dog had told her that she'd cast a spell to forget Scherezade, she remembered now. Was that why Katrine was here? Because she'd forgotten, and thought it'd be fun to come to a place full of people willing to murder her uncle? It made no sense. Absolutely no sense.

I'm sorry.

Scherezade blinked. What. What the heck was she sorry about? About not wanting help to deal with whatever it was that was cutting her body? For not wanting the ichor to get out?

"I was horrible to you. I thought the love was true, I thought he did love me."

Her mouth went dry. Why was Katrine apologizing for that? She hadn't cared. Not at the time and not when she cast her spell and - oh. Ichor draining. Spell going away. Was that what she was seeing? The return of Katrine's conscience?

Part of her wanted to kick the blonde witch where it would hurt the most. Wanted to scream at her, rip her hair out, bury her alive. Part of her wanted to hug her and pretend that it's okay. Hadn't that, after all, been what had eaten at Scherezade for so long? She could've chosen any moment, truly, any moment since that horrible night, to just come after Katrine and kill her if she so desired. But she hadn't, and it wasn't due to being a passive person. Scherezade was anything but.

She remembered now… She remembered often knowing where Katrine was during missions, and actively avoiding getting near. Actively trying not to see her, because to see her would be to either kill her, or to become an oathbreaker. She remembered her heart hurting so over the events that had occured that day, and not just that day, but for the while before that as well.

She remembered being so suspicious, not believing that the other one and her keen Lupine nose hadn't known anything at all. The one with the whispering spirits who also spied on the other witches and could inform the nightmother about anything they saw at any given time. She remembered… For so long, both wanting to kill her in the most horrible of deaths posible, and at the same time wanting to just go back to the days in which the two would sit in Katrine's kitchen and just talk about stuff, or just try new things out that they hadn't yet before.

So many words had run through Scherezade's mind since that day. Much of what had happened, of what she had seen, of how even despite her promise, she had escaped from those who would offer her help, because that help came with the price of delivering Katrine's head on a platter at some point in the future.

Sisterly relations were never a simple thing. There were too many layers, too much complexity. Scherezade knew of the onion speech, but not even the onions came anywhere near what was happening now, what had been unfolding, step by step and heart beat by heart beat, since the moment Katrine found the pebble in the nightlands of Ryloth.

She loathed it. Scherezade had never been good at speaking, at striking friendships, at any of those things that had always come so naturally to Katrine. She knew the galaxy wasn't black and white but came in many shades of gray, but there had been more than a single kernel inside of her that wanted to paint Katrine the blackest of blacks that was ever possible, to continue to put so much of the blame on her. And if only those kernels were alone, if only they were the only ones that existed regarding the whole mess, it would've made it simpler. It would've translated directly into the galaxy having one less Lupine to shed its fur on it.

But she couldn't.

For Gerwald, Scherezade had simply forgotten. She had come to see the progress of him, seen what he had become - and what he always had been. There were so many realizations with him that in summer, had ensured that she would never again care for him, that to kill him if he attacked her would be as simple as killing any of the hundreds of thousands of faceless enemies she had killed on battlefields before. From being the most influential person in her life, he had become the same as air, and she didn't have any anger even left for him because of how unimportant he had become. But that had been a process. She'd not had the opportunity for anything like that with Katrine.

And Katrine was now apologizing. But… For what?

Hearing Katrine call for her girl, hearing the girl… Okay, that was what mae meant.

Scherezade sighed, the fight leaving her shoulders. As easily as the earthen walls had come up, so did they now come down. "I keep true to my word," she said, "She would not be harmed. I thought it would be better for her not to see… This."

And now what? Did she just say oh yay I forgive you and pretend it never happened? Did she sent her away when…

"You were horrible to me," she said quietly, knowing that Katrine would have no physical issues with hearing her, though she didn't know for certain whether her mind was entirely focused on what Scherezade would have to say, "And you say… You thought he loved you. So if he did, would've it been worth it?"

It was a hard question. It was an unfair question, and Scherezade knew it. She had nitpicked Katrine's phrasing, knowing how truths were so often used to cause more pain to others. Not knowing if that was what Katrine was trying to do, if there was… Anything.

This entire afternoon had become so confusing.

"Why here?!" she shot her next questions, "Why now?!"

 

[Katrine Van-Derveld]

It washed over her, like a wave crashing against her consciousness. The pain, the fear, the damage, the threat. Even as Katrine had apologized, she was seeing her own mistakes. Things she had done, where she had been blind. Mother always joked love was blind, Katrine had believed it to be a silly joke, a fun little play on work. Love could be blind but it could be true.​

Were Curupira and Satara and so many others proof of that? Was this not what she'd always been taught?​

Then it had come, like a wave of its own; like a bolt of lightning on her system. Katrine had never thought of those words thinking she had found the one. Mother did, Nona did; why not her? It had seemed so simple, so right. Scherezade's affections for Gerwald hadn't seemed as powerful, not when Gerwald was swearing his love to her. He wouldn't have lied to her, she had thought. There was no reading, no warning. Katrine had hung on every word, believed everything the large wolf had told her. Whatever he said was true. He always seemed to care for Scherezade, what they had done; felt remorse, Katrine could swear. While it was weighing her down like a boulder pressing against her chest, she could swear he too cared for what they had done. It shouldn't have happened.​

It did happen though.​

She did this. Not even him. It had been Katrine who had been the blind one, who had not seen the truth. Not even when she learned she was pregnant and her natural instinct had been to run away; a part of her that in the beginning he would come after her, come find her and then it would truly mean that they were forever.​

He never came. He never learned the truth of why she had left. Katrine might have been the one to go, but Gerwalrd was the one who had abandoned her, abandoned all the promises.​

Katrine's head was starting her heart with all the realizations, a headache long postponed. The truth hurt, and in Kat's case, it hurt tenfold because of the spell cast meant to allow her to move on. The spell should have made her know all things but not feel the way she had felt but as time progressed, it progressed her common sense as well. She could no longer see that what she had done had been wrong, wasn't worth it. Father always found Mother, no matter what; no matter where she was or what they were going through. That was the true love Katrine always aspired to have. Even when it hadn't started with mass murder or an explosion as she had always dreamed, it was what she had aspired to have in her life. To be happy, to be whole the way her parents were. Curupira had Ket had been perfect for each other, both on the less sane specter of life, both bold in aways many Witches would never understand. Katrine wanted that, long for that; perhaps that had been her mistake, her desire so strong that it had blinded her.​

Her head lifted at the words. Scherezade kept true to her word, she would not harm her daughter; the walls were so she couldn't see what was happening to her. "Thank you," she managed. "Mae?" Larentia called again. "I'm okay, Ren. Just stay there." Katrine called out to the little one, she could vaguely feel her just outside the wall despite her own pain.​

Scherezade spoke, catching the attention of sapphire eyes back to her; calling Katrine out for her behavior towards her, trying to understand why thinking she was love was worth it... She sighed, fist-raising to the side of her head as the headache raged inside her head, so much all at once, so much right now. Scherezade was right, Katrine knew that now more than she had ever known. In the end, it was no excuse, not for what had happened between them, not for the way Katrine acted. "I didn't see," she admitted finally, "I didn't know." Again, it wasn't an excuse either. "That doesn't justify it either. Mother told me many times when I was growing up that life is blind but I had never taken those words as a warning. I should have. I was blind; maybe even too desperate to find the true life she's always had that I couldn't see." That was probably the worst thing about her that Katrine had ever had to explain, even when it didn't justify her, it just seemed so weak now.​

"I thought he loved me more, I thought our love was true. I'd never seen what he was doing to you. When you left us, I could have sworn that he cared too for what he had done, that he had as much guilt over what had happened as I had." Her guilt had taken a toll, all the plans the two had made for their future had never materialized because of it, Katrine just kept pushing them away until they simply never happened, until she was alone and pregnant. "When I cast this spell, it was so I could be with him, so we could live the life we had always talked about because I couldn't make the step towards it. I was meant to know everything but simply feel less. In the end, the spell took over everything, it had brought an emptiness I should have known I had since you left me. I just couldn't see it."​

Katrine considered it, that her truths weren't for Scherezade; it wouldn't help her in any way and part of her knew they didn't have to either. They were her truths but everyone had their own side of a story, and every story had at least two sides. In their case, there were three.​

Why here though, and why now. "A vision. I had a horrible vision that had told me to come here. I hadn't known at the time it would be you that it would lead me to," Katrine admitted. It must have been time for her to see the truth of things, the truth of matters of the heart.​

Scherezade deWinter ​