Private One Eye Open, Both Eyes Blind

[Loomi]

One Eye Open, Both Eyes Blind
Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

Loomi was sort of walking around the temple in a daze. There was all kinds of buzz around lately of different happenings, all which seemed far out of her reach. That gave her more time to think, too much if she was being honest. That was plenty of time to process what the memories she had received back in the burning neutral zone of Indoumodo were suggesting, and she didn't quite like the conclusion she came to. She had been used for... something against her will, torn apart methodically and cruelly by a terrible force she didn't know. They had taken her legs... her eye... It was strange to think that in her past life she hadn't been free, but deep down the Godoan wasn't actually surprised. It was though she had known it all along, mostly because she had. Her mind was simply hiding it from her.

But what did that make her? A Jedi? A fool who wasted her youth unwilling to free herself? A twisted form that had been torn apart and put back together simply to prove some terrible person's point? Loomi had always been self conscious in spite of her friendly disposition, but now she struggled to imagine that anyone may want to interact with her, let alone look at her disfigured face.

These intrusive thoughts kept her in a trance, walking with no purpose, no direction, and no attention spared for the world around her. It was only a matter of time before she ran into somebody she shouldn't. This, of course, is exactly what happened. Loomi found herself bumping face-first into the side of a taller woman, jamming her nose ever so slightly. The Godoan was quick to look away, attempting to hide her face as she stepped back.

"S-sorry," she muttered. "I-I'll pay better attention."

The padawan had yet to recognize who it was she had bumped into.

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

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Outfit: HR Outfit | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Loomi

Valery's return to the Jedi Temple had been a lot more pleasant than she originally believed it would be. Kahlil Noble had felt it was a bit soon, and he was likely right, but finding herself surrounded by so many friends also had a positive impact on how she felt again. But she knew that it wasn't all fun and games — going back to the Jedi meant heading back to duty, and a lot of that work was catching up with paperwork.

A lot of paperwork.

She was already pushing it a little with how much time she spent at the Temple again, just reading everything and catching up on the things she missed. If she went too far, her husband would undoubtedly find her and drag her back home, so she had to be careful. Tonight, she'd be home for family dinner, and that thought alone made it far easier to get through the boring reports. This one, in particular, was about-

Valery stopped and blinked, when she felt someone walking into her. Turning sideways, she spotted a Padawan, clearly embarrassed and even trying to hide her face. Then, as she apologized, Valery just began to smile, "It's quite alright. I've run into people here many times," she said with a chuckle.

"I hope you're not hurt?" Valery tilted her head and leaned to the side a bit, trying to take a look at the girl's face. Had she hit her nose and was it bleeding? She wasn't sure, but the protective side of the Jedi Master wanted to find out.

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

Loomi practically melted when she heard the woman ask if she was okay, the movement of her shadow indicating she was trying to get a look at her face. The Godoan felt so terrible. Here she was feeling so low about herself and how others may see her, and yet the people at the temple still treated her so kindly. How did she deserve any of this?

"I-I'm okay," she insisted, hesitating a moment before turning to look up at the stranger's face.

Where her scarred eye could be seen.

To her surprise, Loomi recognized the face she saw, causing her eye to dilate. Self loathing had become embarrassment in an instant as her yellow face became flush red, her antennae curling up nervously. The Godoan hadn't run into any old Jedi. This was the Sword of the Jedi, the most respected of the Jedi Council. In that moment, time seemed to both stop and spin around her, making even her mechanical legs feel uneasy.

"Woah..." she muttered, unfortunately unable to keep from staring. "You're her..."

As soon as she had been glued to Valery's amber eyes, however, Loomi had averted her face again.

"Golly, I'm so sorry," the padawan backpedaled. "I-I didn't mean to make it weird."

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

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Outfit: HR Outfit | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Loomi

The moment Loomi turned to look at Valery, the Jedi Master's smile only brightened up. The single eye, thr flushed cheeks and clear embarrassment she felt through the Force - none of it mattered to Valery. She just offered a friendly smile and dipped her head, "I'm glad you're okay," she said, before she also noticed that Loomi was staring a little bit. When the Padawan noticed it, she quickly turned away, drawing a soft chuckle from Valery. She could still remember the days when she met the Jedi Masters of her own Enclave as a Padawan, and how that made her feel.

These reactions were only natural, and eventually, she felt confident that the nervousness would fade away.

"You're not making anything weird," Valery then assured her before bowing her head. "I don't believe we've met before though, so allow me to introduce myself. I'm Master Valery Noble." She smiled, hoping to draw the Padawan's gaze back to her.

"What's your name?"

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

"I don't believe we've met before though, so allow me to introduce myself. I'm Master Valery Noble."

Loomi frowned a little at her introduction. Didn't everyone around here know who she was? It was friendly enough though, which did put her nerves at ease. She was indeed correct that they had yet to meet, though Loomi had at least been in close proximity to the sword a few times.

"I'm Loomi," she introduced. "I wasn't here for very long before you, er, left."

Kidnapped fit better, but that seemed like a sensitive topic. The Godoan was in no position to pry. She'd leave all that vague so that the Master at least knew when it was that Loomi had spent the majority of her time at the temple, if not to give a timeframe for why they wouldn't have met. It was all very strange, being here with a decorated hero of the Order. She was so larger than life, yet seemed so approachable. Maybe Loomi was nervous for no reason at all.

Oh right, she was looking at something.

"I'm... uh... not keeping you from anything, am I?"

That would be awful if she was.

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

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Outfit: HR Outfit | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Loomi

Left, right.

Valery didn't want to make anything uncomfortable by going into her disappearance, so she just offered a warm smile and looked at the Padawan. She seemed a little intimidated perhaps, but that wasn't an unusual response. Once they got to knew each other a little bit, Valery felt certain that the nervousness would fade away a lot more. So, that's exactly what she wanted to do.

"Not at all. I was just about to take a break and relax a little bit," Valery said with a warm smile. "Would you like to join me? I've got some tea ready, and we can just talk a little bit."

Valery paused, and then decided to clarify, "I like to get to know my fellow Jedi better whenever I have some time. Don't feel pressured if you have something else scheduled, though."

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

"I like to get to know my fellow Jedi better whenever I have some time. Don't feel pressured if you have something else scheduled, though."

Tea? That did sound nice. Loomi could respect a leader who wanted to get to know her people better, so who was she to turn down such an offer? Besides, it was probably a good idea for her to sit down and relax, at least to get a hold of herself. The Godoan was all over the place, so much so to the point she had no idea where she was walking. For someone with innate tracking abilities, that was no good.

"I'd very much like to," she nodded, a warm smile finally coming to her face.

It was a start.

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

​

Outfit: HR Outfit | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Loomi

When Loomi accepted the offer for tea, Valery smiled brightly and held up a hand to gesture in the direction she wanted to go. There were a lot of options for rooms where they could share a cup of tea, but considering the nervousness she had felt earlier, Valery figured somewhere private would be better. So they could talk freely without being interrupted, and without having to worry about the perception of others.

"Right this way," Valery then said, before they'd walk through the hall and take an elevator up. She guided the young Padawan to her meditation chambers — a decently sized room but with minimal furniture. It did have quite an amazing view across Coruscant, and comfortable meditation chairs.

"Have a seat, and I'll get the tea," she told Loomi. Valery then walked over to the small kitchen area, where she prepared some hot water first, and began making their tea. "So Loomi, how long have you been with the Jedi? I hope it has been to your liking here at the Temple?" Some simple, casual conversation would be a good start.

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

"A few months now," the Godoan responded, taking a seat in one of the meditation chairs. "I've really liked the temple. W-well, I guess I don't really have any sort of reference to what having a home is like, so maybe I'm just easy to please, y'know?"

She was at least trying to be honest that her thoughts were definately skewed. Loomi hadn't ever known a safe roof, or a meal twice a day, or the decency to be able to clean herself before this point. Before it had just been the streets of Coruscant, and even before that had been...

The nightmare in the back of her mind, which still lie shrouded by the vail of amnesia. It wasn't a safe environment as far as she was aware, at least.

"I think it's been good," she reasoned. "There's been a lot of good people here, and I don't think the food is as bad as everyone thinks. But... uh..."

A frown came to her face. She was having some trouble, mainly performance out on missions. Loomi was having very little success out in the field, generally being a hinderance to the people around her.

"Missions have been rough," the Godoan admitted.

Her mind nervously wandered as she pondered how in-depth the reports from those missions had been. Loomi hoped they didn't record panic attacks.

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

​

Outfit: HR Outfit | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Loomi

Only a few months?

It explained why she seemed a little nervous, but there was more to it, Valery quickly learned. This was the first time she has ever been in a place like this, and adjusting to Jedi life at this age was not an easy task. There were some disadvantages to the old traditions of Jedi starting at a very young age, but there were certainly advantages too. Being acclimated by the time true training started was one of them.

"I'm glad the people have been good. It'll make things easier," Valery said with a nod, as well as a warm smile. The comment about food even got her to chuckle, but she did notice the frown that followed.

Valery then walked over and offered the cup of tea, before sitting down to continue the conversation, "Missions will always be a little difficult, but you get more used to it as you gain experience." She paused for a moment to gently blow into her cup of hot tea.

"Have you been able to work with some more experienced Jedi already? To observe and learn from them?"

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

Loomi accepted her tea, continuing to listen to the master. Would missions get easier? Maybe if she did them enough and got used to all the random sources of negative stimulation her bouts of panic would decrease. It was a hopeful thought anyways.

"I have a master," she stated. " Caden Evesa . Oh, and I met with... uh..."

Her training session with the chancellor, Auteme . She wasn't actually supposed to talk about it, given the circumstances of their meeting. Loomi didn't fully understand it, but she wished to respect the woman's request for secrecy.

"I can't actually say," Loomi told Valery. "She asked me to keep our meeting confidential... but she taught me how to Mist Weave. I... think the skill has saved my life a few times now."

These mentors were great, but there was still an itch in the back of her mind. The Godoan knew all too well that they could only help her so far. Eventually, all there would be in her way was a wall of her own construction, composed of the pain she her broken mind had locked away deep within. That didn't seem like something her guiding figures could walk her through. Not without driving them insane along with her.

"A lot of masters have been keeping an eye on me," the Godoan admitted. "I... when I came to the Temple, I was diagnosed with amnesia, I guess. Yeah." Loomi frowned nervously as she cradled her cup, tapping the sides. "Do you think they want to be my mentors, or are they just here to keep a pulse on my condition?"

Loomi became flustered, her face becoming bright red.

"S-sorry," she apologized. "Golly, I-I didn't mean that to be negative. That's probably not an appropriate thing to ask."

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

​

Outfit: HR Outfit | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Loomi

"Sounds like you have some good people helping you already, then," Valery began with a gentle smile. Having a Master helped, and learning something like mist-weaving was no small feat. She just wondered who taught her — Valery knew only a handful people skilled enough with it to teach another. But she was respectfully not going to pry if they wanted that meeting to remain between the two of them.

But despite learning so much already from some clearly excellent mentors, there was still a lack of confidence that Valery could pick up on. It was hard to tell where it stemmed from beyond it coming from deeper inside, but Loomi soon explained her amnesia, and Valery began to piece things together.

She couldn't imagine how hard it must be on someone so young.

"Oh no, it's quite alright," Valery quickly assured her when she seemed flustered about asking her question. "It could be a combination of both. If you have a Master, they'll respect that but perhaps still offer you training. But Jedi also tend to look after each other, so if you have something on your mind or if you're just having a difficult time, they want to help." Valery smiled warmly and gently placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It's important to know that, no matter what, there's no obstacle in your training you have to tackle alone. We're here for you and even if it seems like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, we'll still help guide you through it in the end."

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

"I... guess I never thought about it being both," Loomi sighed, taking a sip of her tea.

The matter was rather embarrassing. Of course masters at the Temple wanted to help her. Why would they have taken their jobs otherwise? Loomi couldn't help but wonder what else her perceived outsideness skewed. She was beginning to wonder how many of her issues were truly just self inflicted.

A quick glance at her legs brought her out of the thought. Self inflicted maybe, but her problems had a source. Her recent bout of memories proved as much.

"How do you do it?" she asked suddenly. "S-stay so composed, I mean. I-I feel like I've heard countless stories about your struggles, but here you are all calm and stuff. I had one bad dream and now I can barely focus on where I'm walking..."

Bad dream was an understatement. It was real after all.

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

​

Outfit: HR Outfit | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Loomi

Valery blinked at the question for a moment but then began to smile, "Well, I wasn't always able to stay composed like this, and some things can still be difficult for me too. But... that's life. You grow as a person, as a Jedi, and learn how to process and deal with certain issues, fears, or obstacles," Valery explained with a calm smile before she sipped from her tea again. There had been a long time when she feared the creature that had scarred her face, and before that, she struggled with difficult things.

These days, all of her fears were related to her family and the thought of losing them.

"It's just important to know that you'll change as a person and that it's okay to be afraid or struggle sometimes. As long as you keep working on yourself, and maybe allow others to help, you'll always come out stronger. So that when something new happens in your life, you're just a bit more ready to handle it."

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

As long as you keep working on yourself, and maybe allow others to help, you'll always come out stronger.

Loomi didn't know if she could believe that. Everything about the situation she had come out of, the one that was clawing it's way to the surface of her mind, seemed so overwhelming. Was effort really all it took to be stronger on the other side of it all? Her youth and lack of expertise made it hard to discern of that was a way forward.

But then again, why would the Sword of the Jedi lie to her?

"I... kind of understand," she sighed. "What you're saying, I mean. I just..."

A frown came to her face as she dipped her head down, her antennae flattening.

"I don't know if my brain wants to."

 

[Valery Noble]

NJO Temple

​

Outfit: HR Outfit | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Loomi

"It's not something that you'll really understand from one moment to another," Valery said with a slight dip of her head, "It's something you have to... experience. Becoming a Jedi is choosing for quite a difficult life, and it will take time before you really have it all together. That's why the Jedi have the system of a Master and Padawan, so they can help guide you forward." Valery also knew that a lot of Padawans didn't have a Master, but that didn't mean they were alone.

So many Jedi Knights and Masters were still more than willing to help out, herself included.

"That said, it's always good to look at obstacles or problems and dissect them into smaller things. Something that you can really work on to overcome or improve on. It also lets you ask for help more easily."

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Valery Noble

Loomi took a sip of her tea as she listened to the Master. Time. All things took time, and the Godoan liked to think she was good at waiting... but she couldn't help but feel antsy every now and then. How long did all of these things take? When would she finally be comfortable in her own skin?

But Master Noble had really given the only answer that made sense.

"It's not something that you'll really understand from one moment to another,"

She'd just know in the moment. Maybe it wasn't satisfying, but it was honest. That was better than nothing.

"Okay," she agreed, "I... I'll do my best."

All she had to do was dissect her problems and better understand them, right? Oh, she should wait a little before hand though, at least to give herself some time to clear her mind and settle back down.

"Eventually," Loomi added with an awkward laugh. "I... think I need some time to clear my head. Things have been... hectic lately."

A part of that was because of Valery's absence, right? Maybe things would become more normal with her back.