Old Man River

[Ben Watts]

Failure.

The word echoed in his head as he trudged through fog and mud up to his knees. He could barely see his hands in front of his face as he desperately tried to move thick vines that seemed heavier than normal out from his path. Ahead, there was a light, and he was not sure why but he knew he needed to get to that light in order to escape whatever hell he had found himself in. His head glanced behind looking for whatever was chasing him but he could not see anything, all he knew was he had to escape, so he kept moving forward. Each step seemed harder than the last and he felt himself running out of energy. How long had he been at this? He felt like he was moving no closer to the light with each step, in fact, it seemed to be moving further and further away from him.

FAILURE!

The ship shook as it made its final approach to Kashyyk and his eyes snapped open. It took a moment but he was able to ascertain that he was arriving at his destination as the people around him began to stir. A grey hood covered his face and the only thing others could make out was his thick grey beard, disheveled from no grooming, and occasionally his grey blue eyes as he glanced around. His hand went to his hip to feel for his lightsaber, the metal unfamiliar on his hip, it was still there. He was taken back years to when he was but a Padawan and he was constantly feeling for it to make sure it had not vanished or been stolen. This was different, though, this was more for proof than anything. He doubted anyone would know who he was and the only proof he had was with that weapon on his hip.

That is what it was. A weapon. A weapon he had used for many years to defend the innocent, those who could not defend themselves, or at least that is what he told himself at the time. When it all came crashing down on Coruscant, he left everyone behind, telling no one of his whereabouts. Living in secret, he hid himself from the galaxy, floating around and offering his expertise in order to save lives and not take them. Hospitals, poor planets, anywhere someone needed a guiding light he was there. Truth be told, it was all an excuse, a feeble old mans attempts at making amends for everything he had done. As the years wore on, however, the nagging feeling in the back of his head continued to attack his mind. He had to go back, he had to show himself, and he had to answer for all of his failures. He had to, at least at the end, make up for his shortcomings in letting the Sith take what he had worked so hard to build.

As he stood up, his bones ached, and his knees cracked. Ben Watts was not what he used to be. Once a proud and towering presence was now simply a worn down old man. People paid him no mind. They walked past him without a second thought and he did nothing to change their minds as they did so. He preferred it this way, to be no one, to be just another person in the galaxy surrounded by heroes and villains. However, even in his old age, he still walked with purpose. Never allowing his aching bones to slow him down. He stepped off of the ship and looked around. How long had it been since he had come to Kashyyk? He could not remember, all he knew was the Jedi were here, and he was going to present himself to them. However they wanted to deal with him was their own business and he would gladly accept whatever they wrought down upon him.

Silver Rest was where he found himself after a short travel. A beautiful Jedi sanctuary that filled him with a sense of hope. A hope that he once did not think was true. How vain and proud he had been to ever think that the Jedi needed him. He was but a man, a prideful and arrogant man, who others looked up to. He wished he could go back in time and tell all those who thought him more than what he was how foolish they were. If they knew how weak he truly was they would have never considered him anything worthwhile. That was his hope for today. To make up for his wrongdoings.

"My uh," He stammered as he spoke to one of the guards? Greeters? He was not exactly sure who they were but they seemed to be directing people around. "My name is Ben Watts and I am hoping to.... well to be honest I am not sure what I am hoping." He chuckled slightly as he spoke realizing how vastly unprepared he was for the occasion.

 

[Asaraa Vaashe]

It sometimes felt like Kashyyyk had been the only home she'd known, Asaraa had grown up in a Jedi temple not too unlike this, a small monestary set out in the middle of the plains. It had been an idyllic childhood really, but it had just been a childhood, as soon as she was ready to be taken as a Padawan they'd shipped her off from the only place she'd ever really called home. But..she'd made a new home here amongst the trees and the wookies, a new family with the Silver Jedi. It hadn't always been easy, sometimes it had been the opposite of that, there had been trouble and trials but honestly there was no-where else she'd rather be. The Jedi had accepted her, they were her family in more ways than one, after all she'd managed to get adopted along the way...she still wasn't entirely sure how that happened. Not that she was complaining.

Still, it was a nice way to spend the time on guard duty, enjoying the feeling the the warm sun on her skin and daydreaming about the past. The pink-haired jedi had already doffed her jacket, draping it over a nearby tree as she settled herself on a branch kicking her legs slowly in the air as her mind wandered. In that moment, Asaraa didn't look anything like the battle-hardened Jedi she was, she just looked like any other teenager sitting in the sun...by a spaceport. People did that right? She'd seen it all the time.

Eyes closed the girl leaned a little further back, fingers clenched around the branch of the tree as she stretched her legs out infront of her, balancing a little precariously before she let herself fall forward again. , legs curling up under the branch. It hadn't been that long ago that she'd almost killed herself trying to face the might of the Sith. She could still feel it, the cool welcoming embrace of hte force settling around her, welcoming her in. It was maybe why she was so obesessed with enjoying he sun on her skin, soaking up it's warmth. In the end her friends and family had pulled her back. It had left her...drawn. More drained and exhausted she'd eve been before, even touching the force had been agony. It still was, it felt closer, stronger than ever before but...Asaraa held out a hand, finally opening heself to the force, a collection of pebble levitating up into the air...and holding there.

Crystal blue eyes flicked up to the sky, as he pebbles seemd to thrum in the air in reaction to the girl's emotions. Something was coming. No, someone, a signature in the force, a strong sensation. The pebbles fell to the floor, bouncing and clattering away as she span, gesturing to guards to get ready as her commlink slapped into her hand. "Dad...I think you need to get to the spaceport, someone's on the way." She'd have seen it sooner if she'd just opened herself to the force, but...well she knew now.

The man who arrived, stepped off the shuttle wasn't what she'd expected, btu then appearences were often decieving. There was something though, something about his eyes, about how he held himself that spoke of history, of the weight of experience seen. The Knight couldn't help but bow her head in respect. "Welcome to Silver Rest Master Watts," her head looked back, a mischevious grin pulling at her lips, "that was pretty much my reaction when I first arrived."

[member="Ben Watts"] | [member="Yuroic Xeraic"]​

 

[WelshGuy]

"Now, come on, you need to eat your vegetables darling." Yuroic stated in a soft tone as he raised the fork with a piece of broccoli at the end of it. His 2 year old daughter shook her head violently, stubbornly refusing to eat her vegetables. "Please! For daddy?" His daughter still shook her head. "For mommy?" She then eagerly ate the broccoli. Yuroic sighed, seems he was not the favourite one here. Leaning back in his chair, he smirked, and ruffled his young daughter's hair. It was tough looking after such a tiny person, Jairdain was of course doing the majority of the work but Yuroic ensured that he made time to be there for his child and helped her become a strong girl. It was nice to be there from day one with their child, Asaraa was already a young adult when he adopted her and Marcus was 5 when he started dating Jairdain so having the chance to be there from day one was a challenge and something Yuroic would never look back on.

He helped his daughter finish all her food then placed the plate back in the kitchen. He grabbed an ice cream and handed it over to his daughter who eagerly got to work eating it. Seems she was much more interested in the ice cream than the vegetables. Very typical, seems as a family they had a sweet tooth since he knew Asaraa and Marcus preferred dessert to main courses. Though Asaraa just never refused food, especially a home cooked meal. As he watched his young daughter, a comm from Asaraa came through. "Speak of the devil, I was just thinking how much you and your new sister are alike. Hmm, powerful signature, well hopefully it will be friendly. I will make my way now." Yuroic called to Jairdain and left, grabbing his jacket. He tapped his comms messaging the other members of the Assembly of the presence of someone approaching the Temple.

Walking down the halls, Yuroic was curious to see who would come to Kashyyyk. It was unlikely a foe, since the Mandalorians were in a lot of trouble from the other factions and Silver Jedi's pushing them back to Mandalore. However, he knew that the Sith were still the biggest threats they had to face and reports were they were getting to SJO border. Stepping out of the Temple, Yuroic saw Asaraa greeting a hooded figure. She seemed relaxed so he knew it had to be a friendly face. Letting out a sigh, Yuroic relaxed, adjusting his jacket, he stepped down and nodded his head in respect to the newcomer. "Greetings, I am Yuroic, member of the Silver Assembly. Anything you need help with?"

[member="Ben Watts"] | [member="Asaraa Vaashe"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

He knew that presence.

Josh couldn't count how many years had passed since he had sensed that force signature. At the time, Josh had been a fresh-faced, clean-shaven Jedi Knight. Still hopeful, still bright and unknowing, still... Blind, seeing the galaxy with rose-tinted lenses. Josh was a little less freshed face now, he was a little older, a little more bearded, and a little more grizzled. Yet he felt... Happier, now. It had been a long time since he had felt he was at a place where he truly felt home. Not since Ben's days had he felt that way. But he had managed to carve a niche for himself that was his. He felt free now, able to see the galaxy and all it was in of it's good and its bads, and with the Silver Jedi Order he had finally found where he belonged.

But that presence brought a sense of nostalgia. One that drove him to curiosity. He knew that it was possible he was merely mistaken, but he didn't want to take the chance. He had been walking down the halls of the Rest with a six year old at his side, almost attached to his hip. He had been showing Jason some parts of the Rest he hadn't seen yet when he had sensed it. Soon after, Yuroic contacted the Assembly to report. Well, that was convenient.

Josh and the child strode down the halls until they came to the entrance. Seeing [member="Yuroic Xeraic"] and [member="Asaraa Vaashe"] greet the same presence that he had sensed, while the man was hooded, and much more worn down, far past the days of being the pillar he had been... Josh knew for sure that he was very much looking at the same man who's Jedi Council he had sat on, as their Knight representative. A man he held much respect for, and had always wondered the terms of his disappearance.

All he could do was smile. He then bowed his head in turn respectfully.

"Ben."

[member="Ben Watts"]

 

[Ben Watts]

The young, pink haired, girl before him bowed and he put his hand forward quickly and gestured for her not to. "Please, my name is Ben, no need to bow to me." He pulled his hood back and revealed his face, wrinkles tried their best to hide the war torn features of Ben, but when one looked close enough they could see that he was more than just a simple old man. Despite his age and withered state there was still something behind his eyes, something he had been repressing for many years, but it was still there none the less. He smiled warmly at her comment about her reaction when she arrived. "You seem to have grown into your role since then from what I can tell." She looked formidable, full of spirit, but he was absolutely sure there was a kindness inside of her that she dared not believe in. His eyes darted to the side as he felt more powerful presences closing in on him. Offering another smile he quipped "Has me coming here caused a stir? I hope not."

Another man made his appearance, a powerful man, with the force flowing through him at an incredible rate. However, it was controlled, which lead Ben to believe he must have been a higher rank within the Silver Jedi. Ben bowed his head to Yuroic and offered his reply. "My name is Ben Watts, many years ago I was a Jedi, as you can see," He smirked and lifted his arms and looked down at himself before he returned his attention to the man. "The years have been less than kind to me." Though he offered a bit of self deprecation, it was all in good fun, not meant to be taken in a sad way. Which was most peoples initial reaction to meeting him these days. "I abandoned the Jedi and for years I hid in dishonor, and I have returned to face what has long since been coming."

In the middle of his speech another presence washed over him, this one though, familiar. A smile crept across his face as he turned his head to face Josh, much changed since the last time they had met, he had aged and from the looks of him he was now a powerful Jedi. Pride swelled in him for a moment, after all these years, the young man he had once believed in was now standing where Ben once stood. He could have almost hugged the boy.... well.... the man, but he chose against it. "Josh? My, look at you, strong enough to take on the galaxy." He ushered forward and he reached his hand out and put his hand on his shoulder and firmly gripped it, as if he was testing to see how strong he really was, when in fact he was just swelling with pride. "I can feel how strong you have become.... you are....." He paused before looking back to the other two and he took a step back, more than likely breaking some sort of protocol with his actions. "Ahem.... nice to see you again."

[member="Josh Dragonsflame"] [member="Yuroic Xeraic"] [member="Asaraa Vaashe"]

 

[Tracyn Ordo]

So there they were all were-

The old men, the old guard. The fools, the has-beens.

The ones who returned.

Tracyn stood behind the group, arms crossed. More wrinkles, more lines. He had not much to say, in fact- he had nothing to say. What was there to say? Ben Watts was a memory to him, and the same the other way around.

But-

Something felt good, as if everything was coming back.

They'd all been hiding for so long, complacent while the galaxy could have used a helping hand, a guiding light.

Master Watts- certainly could do that.

 

[Asaraa Vaashe]

The pink-haired Jedi straightened, that playful smile still dancing across her lips as she let her fingers run over her top, smoothing and straightening it as she shook her head, a faint flush rising to her cheeks at his words. "It's all about respect." There was little need to say that the man's face showed the tension and travails he'd been through during his life. Asaraa let her shoulders roll into a small shrug, "If you feel someone deserves respect, then it's always best to show them, till they prove otherwise at least."

She'd been lucky, in her life there had ony been a few people who had betrayed her trust that badly, but those that had, well they'd done it in the worst way. Betrayal, attacks and running to the dark rather than facing their actions and consequences. A small sigh slipped from her lips as the girl forced her mind back to the present, banishing those thoughts and memories for another day. She knew a Jedi should be above them, should be able to move past the past but she could still remember holding a friend's body in her arms, shot by someone she'd thought of as her best friend.

A deep breath in, a deep breath out, one following the other as she offered Ben a small smile, "I hope so but, it's not always easy," she admitted. She was still shying away from touching the force more than she had to, it was no longer agony to reach out to the energy, but that din't mean it was comfortable, not yet. Instead of shards of glass flaying at her it felt like she was walking barefoot over the glass instead, not enough to stop her or severly discomfort her, but enough to make it still unpleasant. Better than it was, and a lot better than it used to be. She'd get better, like the healers were so fond of saying, it would just take time.

Even without the force though, she still had the rest of her senses, honed and pressed through combat and years of training could hear the footsteps closing on them as she twisted around, the smile on her face broadening slightly as she stepped slightly to the side as she glanced back at Ben, "You know, I think it just might have, a tiny bit of a stir but hey...guard duty was getting a little boring." Although that didn't seem like it was going to last with both Josh and Yuroic here now, the young Jedi's eyes flicked guiltily over to the jacket folded over the nearby tree, still neither of them could complain too much right...it's not like she was wearing robes anyway. Although, it seemed like all their attention was focused on the man she'd met...which annoyed the girl ever so slightly as much as she understood it. Still, to see Josh acting so subdued and respectful...crystal blue eyes flicked over to stare at Ben again. More than just hte old man he made out to be.

[member="Tracyn Ordo"] | [member="Ben Watts"] | [member="Josh Dragonsflame"] | [member="Yuroic Xeraic"]​

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

It still felt surreal, if he was being honest. While he wouldn't go so far as to call Ben a relic, Ben's appearance here was a nostalgic glance back into the past. A past where things seemed so much simpler than they were now. His days as a Padawan were always days he remembered fondly, as well as his earlier days on the Council when Ben was in charge. But honestly, it was just really nice to see Ben again. The old Master, one of the most down to earth, humble and friendly Jedi he had ever met, had disappeared without warning. Ben had been what he had aspired to be. He didn't know if he had reached that point, or if he ever would, but Ben's presence had still lingered with him all these years, even if the Jedi Master wasn't there physically. But seeing him here physically just felt so... Right. Like a missing piece had returned from a long respite.

Still, he wondered what Ben had meant when he had mentioned something about hiding in dishonor, just before Josh had arrived. He had overheard it, but he wasn't sure if he knew how to answer it. Where -had- Ben been all these years? What had caused him to leave as he did? Josh was no stranger to dishonor, he had done things he had regretted... Honestly, at least two of the three Jedi that stood before Ben had done so. But they were here, making a difference, doing their best to atone for any kind of dishonor they might have conducted.

Perhaps that was why Ben had come? To do the same?

When Ben approached him and placed his hands on his shoulders, Josh almost felt like that fresh-faced young man all over again. Ben's praise meant the world to him, and he hung his head a moment. "Thank you" He spoke softly, his smile broadening in turn as he stared at Ben, just... Honestly just unable to believe what he was seeing. "That means the world to hear."

Ben appeared to be a bit apprehensive, reserved... As if thinking the situation were like he was stepping on cracked glass. A thought came to him then, and he looked to Asaraa.

"I hope my former Padawan hasn't been causing you too much trouble" He remarked, that mischievous glint in his eye from all those years ago returning as he shot Asaraa a teasing smile. The best thing he could do, he felt, was help Ben understand that he was at home here. He could be comfortable here. Nobody was going to harm him, or judge him for what may have occurred at some time before. With that though, he remembered that there was one here that hadn't had a chance to introduce themselves to Ben just yet. Gingerly moving to the side, he revealed then the six year old child that was hiding behind the Jedi's leg. Short blonde hair with brown eyes and a Padawan braid hanging from his hair, he was almost the spitting image of the Jedi Master. Josh placed a hand on the child's shoulder, as he knelled down to placed both arms on his shoulders as a method of comfort. Jason was still a bit timid with strangers, and Ben's presence was probably overwhelming him as well.

"Jason, this is Master Ben Watts. He is a very old friend of mine" He spoke gently to the child, who stared up at Ben with big eyes. "Why don't you say hello? He is kind, you will be okay" He promised Jason, though made sure to keep his own breath and words calm despite the situation in hopes of conveying a great calm to the child. That seemed to help at least, as Jason would bow his head in mimicry of his father from earlier, seeming to think that was the way he was meant to greet the man. With that, he spoke up, though stammered a bit.

"H-H-Hello."

Josh chuckled a bit, but brought a hand down to Jason's arm to squeeze gently and continue to bring confidence to the child that everything was alright. He then looked up to Ben.

"Ben, this is Jason. My son."

[member="Tracyn Ordo"] | [member="Ben Watts"] | [member="Asaraa Vaashe"] | [member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[Ben Watts]

Respect

Not that he deserved any but he smiled warmly and nodded his head. Her comment about things not being easy gave him pause, he knew those feelings of doubt, and he also knew how he had conquered them. It was through arrogance that his doubt had been erased. Stupidly believing it was some form of clarity given to him by the force. He had often thought of how he could have done things differently, and he had no good answer, nothing besides doubt being a necessity. Without it, people charged recklessly into danger, but with it they sat back with trepidation. There must have been a middle ground they could have found along the way, but he was no expert, and was unable to tell anyone how to achieve it. "If it were easy, everyone would be a Jedi Master, you must embrace your self for who you are and do only what you can do. Which is your best." He nearly rolled his eyes at his corny little comment, but there was truth inside of it, if one was willing to read through the context. For years he propped himself up as the model Jedi, but inside, he was nothing but turmoil. He pushed down those thoughts for as long as he could until he was faced with nothing but death and destruction.

"Of course not," Ben said to Josh as he commented on his former Padawan. "I can feel the force flowing through her veins, she is a wonderful Jedi from what I have seen." He smiled brightly at her.

Then Josh stood aside and behind him was a small boy. Immediately, his insides turned, and the images of Corran flashed through his mind. Another of his ultimate weaknesses and his failures as both a Jedi and as a parent came crashing down on him. He wondered, for a moment, how the boy was faring. He was strong, it was why Ben had left him, but the decision haunted him greatly. "Hello," Ben said in a friendly voice as he bent down to one knee. "Wow, look at you, you are a spitting image of your father. You are going to surpass both of us one day aren't you?" Ben smiled and he lifted both of his hands in front of him and waved them around with an air of magic. He flashed both sides of his hands before he reached one behind the boys ears and out from behind it popped a small silver coin. "How long has this been behind your ear I wonder?" He smirked and handed the boy the coin. It was a simple act of the force. While the boy was distracted with his hands he used the force to hide the coin with a bit of illusion and it hovered behind his ear. It was a small token, it had a little sigil of the Jedi Order on it, and it meant nothing but it was fun.

Standing back to his feet he turned to Josh. "You're wondering where I have been, no doubt?" His voice turned serious and the pleasantries needed to be set aside. "All those years ago, when Coruscant fell, it was under my leadership. My ego caused me to wage wars the Republic had no reason being in." He paused for a moment to allow the words to set in. "Now, the Republic is shattered, and the Sith are more powerful than ever. Was it all my fault, I would like to think not, however the failures wrought upon me forced me into exile. The Jedi no longer needed me as I was no leader. I hid, for many years, and now I have come to make up for my misfortune. I wish to serve the Jedi in whatever capacity they will have me in hopes of redeeming my failures."

[member="Josh Dragonsflame"] [member="Asaraa Vaashe"]