Private Of the Underlying

[Allyson Locke]

//: Madelyn Lowe //:
//: Edgefield, Varonat //:
//: Attire //:

The speeder hummed softly as it moved, jostling occasionally over jungle debris. Afternoon light filtered through the thick canopy, the planet's star peeking between towering trees that blanketed the world.

Allyson leaned against the driver's side, navigating almost expertly through the tangled green toward the smaller sister city, Edgefield. She'd been on Varonat long enough to memorize the routes between both cities. It was the longest she'd stayed anywhere in a while, and though strange, it was starting to feel almost natural.

A glance at her passenger stirred that familiar flicker of annoyance, one she'd also grown used to. Lowering her old aviators, Allyson smirked. "It's not that bad." Her gaze lingered before sliding back to the road. They were getting close now to what she was most excited to show the blonde. Sure, she'd helped secure the planet and removed the previous official to open a seat for Madelyn, but that wasn't the real gift. "I promise all of it was worth it," Allyson said as the speeder slowed to a stop a few meters from the surprise.

She shut off the engine and climbed out, sliding across the hood with practiced ease before opening Madelyn's door with a playful bow. "My lady." Another cheeky grin. The door clicked shut behind her. "Come on."

Out of habit, Allyson moved to take Madelyn's hand but stopped, remembering they were in public. Her eyes darted away, and she started toward the hidden path ahead.

The river rushing nearby grew louder as the house came into view, carefully tucked into the jungle's embrace. The lights inside were low, but no one was home. Allyson kept walking, hoping Madelyn was still behind her. When the ground crunched beneath her boots, she turned and smiled.

"Welcome home. I did my best to keep everything how it was, how you'd remember it." Her grin turned sheepish as her mind flashed the memory of falling off the roof into the river. That particular adventure had been quite interesting. Allyson gently reached for Madelyn's hand, taking it into hers without hesitation. Slowly, she led the woman up the steps, letting her have a chance to fully take in the gift.

"I programmed a new security system. Basic AI, you can tell it to turn on lights and do whatever. And, biometrics to unlock." She held two fingers to the nearly invisible panel hidden in the frame, and quietly, the lock clicked open.

Allyson opened the door, pausing. She let go of Madelyn's hand, wanting to give the woman the space to cross the threshold alone when she was ready. Slowly, the Corellian slid off the sunglasses, then carefully slipped the eyepatch back into place over her fading black eye. "I'll remove myself from the system when we add you. It's your home now, and it should only answer to you."

Leaning against the sofa, arms loosely crossed, she looked up at Madelyn. "So," she asked, voice casual but tinged with something warmer, "good surprise, right?"

 

[Madelyn Lowe]

In the passenger seat of the speeder, Madelyn was steaming. Allyson Locke, ever the enterprising agent, had taken it upon herself to liberate a prized jewel for Madelyn, and despite her protests and threats. It seemed she had delivered. Varonat was free of the doddering drunk who had ruled it in a clumsy imitation of classical Varonati Imperialism, and all it had taken was for Allyson to strike off on her own, and ignore every single thing Madelyn said to try and stop her.

Madelyn knew she was supposed to be grateful, and she was, but she was also pissed off. Allyson was her inferior, and even if she had given Madelyn a gift that was both incredibly useful and sentimental, she had also shown she neither feared nor respected her enough to listen. That angered and scared Madelyn, but it also impressed her. The woman who had visited her in her office that evening continued to be full of pleasant surprises, even if she reliably gave Madelyn a headache.

Her complicated relationship with Locke aside, it was nice to be back at least. There was no arguing that her home was beautiful. The flickering dappled light filtered through the canopy, casting dancing patterns on her skin and clothes, as well as Allyson's. It reminded her of simpler days, chasing childhood friends through the shallow brooks that ran around the base of the old house. Her old house. Was that where they were going? Certainly they were in the area, and Allyson had been bold enough to send a photo from the dilapidated shack during her escapade. Madelyn hoped not, she didn't want to see the dusty, crumbling structure. It was a potent symbol of how far her family had fallen. They were all gone now, the noble ones of House Lowe, aside from her. What were left were watered down traitors and losers and half-wits, not even deserving of the name.

They slowed to a stop and Madelyn pretended to examine her nails as Allyson slid across the front of the vehicle and opened the door for her. She raised a brow, bemused at how the agent always managed to combine Imperial etiquette with Corellian flair. She felt the brief brush of Allyson's hand, but when she looked down Allyson was moving brusquely forward.

"Welcome home. I did my best to keep everything how it was, how you'd remember it."

Sure enough, they had arrived at Madelyn's old stomping ground. But it did not look as it had in the grainy video footage Allyson had sent to her before. Apparently, dismantling the Varonat government was not the only thing Allyson had been doing here. Madelyn's house had been transformed, its rotting pillars replaced with fresh cut beams, roof re-tiled, a new coat of paint accenting the wooden structure with dark green. Soft light poured out of the sparkling windows, and she had even managed to replace the tattered curtains with the same pattern she remembered from her childhood. The work it must have taken was astounding. Her vision wavered a bit and Madelyn blinked, confused, before realising her eyes were welling with tears. How very strange.

"Allyson." said Madelyn, having composed herself. "This is... Marvelous."

She followed Allyson up to the door. Emerald eyes found hazel. She regarded Allyson curiously.

"It is a good surprise." Madelyn agreed. Then, after a beat. "Why did you do this for me?"

Allyson Locke ​

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Madelyn Lowe //:
//: Edgefield, Varonat //:
//: Attire //:

Allyson felt her body tense; the tiny bits of praise felt like a mountain. She wasn't used to it, especially from Madelyn. However, hearing them from her made the feeling and their weight more important. Allyson smiled stupidly, her smile lopsided, as she didn't know what else to do with the praise.

The moment was brief, followed by a question the Corellian didn't expect. She had repeatedly played the moment in her head as she fixed the roof and sewn the curtains. None of them prepared her for that question at that moment. And yet, when she thought seriously about what she knew of Madelyn Lowe. The question was common sense.

A hand rested on Allyson's neck as her eyes fell from her Minister's gaze. "Well," she started, knowing that there were several reasons why she had done this. Her mind trailed, remembering the quiet look of embarrassment when they had entered her apartment. Everything that was Madelyn's past life was gone. It was a moment that Allyson learned something new and something she could resonate with.

"I look terrific in a tool belt," Allyson grinned smugly, but her smile faded as she shook her head. "Nah, I did it..."

Not wanting to bring up that moment, knowing that Madelyn probably had hoped the perceptive spy missed that moment. Allyson shrugged. Her answers could be anything, all dangerous for her to admit. She had done the act because she knew she cared deeply for her? Because she knew what it felt like to lose something. Because -- "Because I wanted to see you smile." she admitted to the least dangerous of her emotions and reasons.

Allyson had often daydreamed about how the blonde's lips would curl into her smile. The moments of that smile were few and far between, but when it was because of Allyson, the Corellian could feel her heart melt, skipping a beat. Admitting just a fraction of that could ruin everything. It was a small crack in her mask that she would most likely pay dearly for.

Allyson could feel the sway of power drifting from her as she revealed the most minor reason she had done what she did with the home. In reality, she had done it because she wanted to give Madelyn something from her past that she could hold on to. So, Madelyn no longer had to stare at the empty walls of her apartment. Allyson wanted to give her the thing that she, herself couldn't have anymore.

The Corellian she knew was gone, and so was her family. There was no rebuilding, no remaking—it was gone. Her home was the epicenter of the disaster.

Pushing the thoughts from her mind, Allyson looked back up again and to Madelyn. Another smile masked the confused emotions she felt for the blonde Minister. It was easier to deflect despite the small revelation of her feelings. "Come on, don't just stand there—you gotta see everything." Allyson stood from where she was leaning and crossed towards Madelyn, offering her hand.

"Show me around. You know this place better than me," Allyson smirked, teasing Madelyn.

 

[Madelyn Lowe]

Madelyn gave an unimpressed look at the comment about the tool belt. While she certainly didn't doubt that Locke would make a very attractive tradesperson, it hardly counted as a reason for doing something as involved as this. Thankfully, Madelyn didn't need to open her mouth to admonish Allyson, she was already correcting the record without being prompted. Madelyn leaned forward while Allyson while she hesitated. Her look was not unkind. Tell me, it seemed to say. Admit to me your secrets.

"Because I wanted to see you smile."

It was touching, in its own way, but even Madelyn could sense that there was more to the matter than that. She saw the way Allyson seemed to be grappling with her own intentions, and for whatever reason, she was unable to admit them to Madelyn. Fascinating. She would have to dig into that. Madelyn had her own secretive feelings about the agent, but she didn't risk exposing them with such... Bold gestures. What was Locke's play here? Perhaps she just hadn't thought that far ahead, or she was playing some greater game...

Or, as she'd said, maybe she just wanted to see her smile. Madelyn raised a questioning brow, but ultimately she also granted Allyson her stated wish. Her lips curled into a smile she couldn't help.

"I see..." said Madelyn, obviously not believing Allyson's reasoning. "Well, I can't pretend I understand it, Locke, but there's no arguing you've done a fine job. It looks just like I remember it." It was as if she was standing in a memory, her bags packed for the Imperial Academy, moving out and saying her goodbyes to the family. The details of the refurbished place were not perfect, but they were close enough that the experience was visceral.

"Come on, don't just stand there—you gotta see everything."

"Very well." said Madelyn crisply. "The Lowe family tour. Come along." The situation still felt entirely strange, but she owed it to Allyson to honour this service she had done for her with some enthusiasm, even if some of her gratitude was overshadowed by the enormous bronze statue in the capital. A 'protected monument' by law. Preposterous. Locke had outdone herself. She had given Madelyn her planet back, and sealed her place in it. Though, she hadn't imposed herself on her home. There were no monuments here. Madelyn appreciated that. She indicated for Allyson to walk beside her as they started down the hall.

"Master bedroom, where Mother and Father slept." said Madelyn, whisking past the largest room. Her parents had been unimportant people. Minor officials of the Order. Unambitious and bad with money. But, they had a strong Imperial spirit, and though the life they lived was modest and uninspiring, they were ultimately rewarded for siring Madelyn. After her ascension they lived out the remainder of days in the lap of luxury, using this house as a holiday home, hardly seeing their daughter.

She moved along, through the small living area with its low circular table for family meals, to the trio of small adjoining rooms. "These were our rooms." said Madelyn, pointing to the three equally sized rooms. "My sister Eleanor, tragic thing, and Karina- She was a Legionnaire you know- and then me. The eldest of three." Madelyn walked over to the furthest room, squeezed into the corner, retrieving the family photo Allyson had teasingly held up on call before. "This is them. All dead now." said Madelyn with a sigh, her face pulling into a tight expression. "Though Karina did have a daughter, Elena." Madelyn never had a great relationship when they were alive. She had never regretted that then, but now that they were all gone, she found herself wishing she had acted differently. She found herself wishing a lot of things were different.

Emerald eyes fixed Allyson once again. "Thank you for giving me my home again, Allyson." said Madelyn. "Whatever reason it was for, I am grateful."

Allyson Locke ​

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Madelyn Lowe //:

The moment she smiled, Allyson felt her breath hitch. She hated it; she hated how she reacted like this every time. Maintaining a nonchalant attitude when she was face-to-face with the minister was hard. However, Allyson said that this was what she had done it for. In the end, it was entirely her fault. Hopefully, she could hide it, letting the sound of her weakness fade while Madelyn's mind worked through loops and bounds to try and figure out Allyson's angle.

Unfortunately for the soon-to-be governor, Allyson had no angle. Everything was just the Corellian's way of being a shameless romantic. Though, if asked, deniability was the lie she told herself and the galaxy.

Allyson returned her offered hand, figuring that the woman was still irked for the statue. Thinking to herself, Allyson wondered if it had been a little too much. It wasn't her idea, so the Corellian reconciled her guilty conscience. She followed close and quietly. Out of habit, her footsteps were light and unheard, and she looked around as if she had never seen the dwellings before. A part of her had already figured out which was Madelyn's room, but it was nice for the confirmation.

Something chewed at Allyson's mind: the way she introduced her parents. Tilting her head back towards the master bedroom, Allyson wondered if the relationship wasn't as close as other families. That was another conversation for another time - not now. Looking back to Madelyn, Allyson watched the way her face moved, betraying the slightest of her emotions. Again, Allyson wouldn't point it out - she figured she was already in the dog house, and only so many houses and planets could get her out of it.

Before Allyson realized it, Madelyn caught her stare and thanked her. And, without any semblance of control, the stupid lopsided smile appeared for a second - before Allyson composed herself and nodded. "I'm happy you like it."

The sudden silence stretched between them as Allyson empathized more with Madelyn on the nature of the family. As far as she knew, John and her aunt were all that was left - even then, they weren't as close as they were. Her immediate family, though, had all died. She closed her eyes, feeling that searing pain in her chest, remembering the two planetary bodies colliding with each other. Coronet City is taking the brunt of it and has been the center of the impact.

She kept her composure as her eyes opened. She looked towards the photo she had initially found; now, Madelyn was holding it. Stepping closer, she reached as if she wanted to take another look. Instead, she let the tips of her fingers caress the back of the hand that held the blonde's family photo.

"I…I'm sorry for making you worry." Her voice was quiet as they were a step or two closer than before. "I never asked, but how was your trip?"

Allyson slowly pulled her hand back, realizing she had let herself linger a little too long.

"I missed you, by the way."

 

[Madelyn Lowe]

"I'm happy you like it."

"It's perfect." said Madelyn, truthfully. She wondered if there was some way to repay her for her kindness, some piece of home that she could restore? A shame, her little spy lived a secretive life, with all her records erased, and Madelyn had never dared to ask her about anything beyond the superficial, though. Somehow, though, Madelyn sensed that even if she knew all about Allyson's life and past there would still be little she could give that would repay this.

That made her indebted. How irritating.

Gazing at the photo, Madelyn felt the skin-on-skin sensation of Allyson's hand on hers. Her eyes flicked down to examine the spy's delicate digits a moment, but ultimately she allowed the touch. She had earned it, after all, and Madelyn was feeling weak.

"I never asked, but how was your trip?"

"To Varonat?" Madelyn asked. She paused thoughtfully. "I was so mad I threw my clothes all around the cabin and then I passed out." Madelyn snorted and shook her head. "Hah. I missed you too, I guess." she admitted. Stars when did she become so sappy? The Madelyn who had dumped her girlfriend at the Imperial Academy so she'd have more time to study for finals would kill her right now.

And annoyingly, she really had missed her. In between the anger and the worry she had longed for Allyson's touch and her fine company. It was frustrating, to be beholden to something as fanciful as mere feelings, but here she was, and Allyson at least was a subject worthy of her attention.

Almost too worthy, doing these wonderful deeds, placing her life and livelihood in Madelyn's hands, and performing stunts to keep her entertained and earn another evening in her bed. It was disarming and warm-hearted, and that worried Madelyn.

Madelyn let Allyson guiltily caress her hand, watching coolly as her fingers retreated, gliding over Madelyn's supple skin. The moment their touch separated, Madelyn reconnected it, wrapping her arm around Allyson's waist and pulling her close. She spun Allyson as shd drew her in, sinking into a lingering kiss. Her much-alluded-to reward, with the rest to be delivered later in the evening. After a few blissful moments, Madelyn forcibly broke away, she regarded Allyson seriously.

"Allyson." said Madelyn, in a tone that commanded her to stop laying kisses on her neck and listen. "I am not a good person." She stared at the Corellian, emerald eyes unblinking. "I am not a good person, understand?"

Allyson Locke ​

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Madelyn Lowe //:

Allyson couldn't help but laugh. Imagining the typically collected Minister throwing her clothing in a fit till she passed out was a sight she wished to see. Hearing words she wanted to hear made the Corellian continue to smile, but not the smug smirk she had back in the office. She smiled softly, letting herself live the brief moment. Despite being at odds and Allyson enjoying tormenting the Imperial woman, a moment like now was all she could think about while away.

When the touch ended, Allyson hadn't expected anything else. Madelyn often set the boundaries and allowed Allyson moments of passing them - but they were always there. She adhered to them as an unspoken rule - if she didn't, she wouldn't be allowed to continue with her daring reaches. However, the stunt she had pulled with the planet and the home had softened Madelyn's guard.

Allyson found herself being pulled back in as quickly as she had pulled back her hand. Feeling their lips crash together, melted the Corellian as she held the woman's face as they kissed. Everything she had done was for this, to find herself behind the walls that Madelyn had put up between them. She wasn't the only one who did so; Allyson was also guilty of this. The more time they spent together, the more Allyson wanted Madelyn to see what was under the mask, behind the confidence and the sarcasm. This want scared her, it exposed too much of who she was.

The kiss broke, and Allyson's grip on the lapel of Madelyn's uniform tightened in protest. She felt herself follow, wanting to return to that moment of bliss. Instead, her lips caressed the curve of the woman's neck.

Allyson didn't stop at the first mention of her name, but the tone behind it broke the spell she was under, and she paused. The following few words were ones that she had questioned about the Minister. Ones that had crossed her mind on Anoat, among other times, were when she had escorted the woman as her aide. Reality hit the shadow as her eyes met Madelyn's.

She repeated it, but Allyson didn't say anything. Allyson also didn't pull away when her mind caught up to the situation. "I know." She answered quietly. Being alone on Varonat, completing the mission she had laid out for herself—even being tempted by a Sith Lord—she had time to think.

"You think I am?" Allyson questioned, "Madelyn, I don't care." Allyson Locke rarely told the truth, but with Madelyn, she had been more honest than she had ever been with anyone. There was no point in lying to the woman, nor would it get her anywhere. "I didn't have to do what I did, but I wanted to - because I know you wanted it. That was enough for me."

Allyson had been Jedi, but she wasn't a good Jedi. She was the one they sent to kill, maim, and destroy. She was taught to lie and cheat—to do whatever got her the information she needed. More often than not, she used her charm and her pretty face to gain secrets. Allyson was not a good person either, but they could both understand that.

"Whether you're a good person or not doesn't matter to me," Allyson furrowed her brow in frustration. "I'm still loyal to you; I'd still chose you. I told you, You own me because I want you to." Her grip tightened as she pulled the blonde into another kiss for a moment before she pulled away breathlessly again.

"I'm here for it, all of it - all of you."

 

[Madelyn Lowe]

"You think I am? Madelyn, I don't care."

"Hmm."

Madelyn considered the question thoughtfully. Did she think that Allyson was good? She supposed not, or at least, it was more complicated than 'yes' or 'no'. There was a difference, after all, between doing bad things, and being fundamentally sick in the heart. And Allyson was not. She cared, in a way that was not self serving or shallow. She did what she had to do to survive and make her way, and she relished in following her impulses. But, was she hateful? No. Cruel? Certainly not. And yet Madelyn was both in abundance.

That was why they could never make it as an actual item. Not because of something as petty as station. Madelyn did not care about that, not really. No, it scared her to subject Allyson to the person she had become, lest her her moral corruption rub off on her, or worse, she extinguish Allyson's flame. So long as they were just fooling around, teasing, denying their attachment, Allyson could be kept at a safe distance, and Madelyn could not take root inside her.

And yet, could she not see that careful control slipping with these gestures? Allyson was proving her loyalty, her place at the table, her attachment and Madelyn couldn't help but feel it too. A dangerous feeling, to be suppressed.

"I didn't have to do what I did, but I wanted to - because I know you wanted it. That was enough for me."

"It pleases me that you want to do so much for me." said Madelyn. "But..." The syllable hang in the air. "It is concerning, as well." Madelyn pursed her lips, apparently struggling with how to put her feelings into words. That had never been her strong suit. "You are a remarkable person, Allyson Locke." she said eventually. "I don't want to ruin you."

She had been expecting Allyson to pull away at her remark, but she didn't, so Madelyn just held her there, staring into her hazel eyes, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other resting on her hip. She should have dismissed her already, she knew, but Madelyn had become weak. So weak.

"I'm here for it, all of it - all of you."

Despite her misgivings, Madelyn felt relief wash over her. Allyson's words were reassuring. Perhaps she could allow her to fill that aching void in her core, maybe just for a little while longer. She had offered an exit. Allyson had not taken it. That was that then, she supposed. Madelyn would not be strong enough to offer another one. Whatever foggy path stretched out in front of her, she'd just have to walk down it with Allyson by her side.

Madelyn smiled and leaned in for another kiss. "If that is what you want." she said. "Then that is what you shall have." Madelyn's eyes gleamed in the dark as she held her reckless lover. "What else do you want, Allyson?"

Allyson Locke ​

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Madelyn Lowe //:

All of Madelyn's words sunk into her like knives. A personal realization of what the Minister was to herself and how she saw her agent. Allyson held her breath, waiting for the words she didn't want to hear.

They never came; instead, she felt Madelyn lean in closer, almost accepting the words she had said, accepting that this was how things would be. A sense of relief escaped with the soft breath the Corellian let go, feeling the woman lean in, drawing closer to her.

Then Madelyn spoke again. Allyson glazed back, losing her senses in the depth of the woman's verdant gaze. At that moment, she never wanted to look away; she felt seen, something the spy had always desired. With each defiant action, this was all she wanted, and at this moment, Madelyn gave it to her.

The question lingered, stretching in the silence, waiting for Allyson to surrender her answer. What did she want? What more did she desire from this? Her eyes watched and, for the first time, didn't search for an escape.

As much as Madelyn saw herself as a monster, Allyson didn't cower or fear what was underneath the pristine mask of the Minister of Order. There was a softness in Allyson's heart when it came to Madelyn; it was more than affection - it was understanding.

Gently, Allyson reached, letting her fingertips brush the curve of Madelyn's jaw. The same hand cupped the woman's face and let her thumb absentmindedly caress back and forth as she thought about the answer to the lingering question.

There was too much that she wanted, but all of them began and ended with one common factor.

"You." Her voice was quiet. "All of you." Her head tilted slightly as their eyes met once more. The infamous liar. The spy. The traitor. And still, every truth fell easily from her mouth when it came to this.

As often as she had mulled over her choices about the danger this constant interaction brought, Allyson would fall into the arms of the woman who held her now.

"I know what you are, I know what you're capable of, and like I said - it doesn't stop me from wanting you." Her hand slipped from Madelyn's cheek, letting her fingers thread through the woman's soft blonde hair. She drew closer - close enough to feel the rhythm of Madelyn's breathing against her skin.

"I want you, all the versions of you, even the ones you think are too cruel, the ones that you think will ruin me," And before Madelyn could answer, she pulled her into a kiss, deep, slow, and heavy with something far beyond desire. It wasn't just hunger. It was recognition. A promise. A vow to meet her completely, exactly as she was.

Pulling away, Allyson let her lips trail, kissing the corner of the woman's lips, to her cheek, and then to the base of her ear.

Whispering, Allyson clung to her dangerous lover. "I want you to ruin me."

 

[Madelyn Lowe]

"All of you."

Madelyn nodded, considering Allyson's words, taking them as seriously as the woman's raw honesty warranted. After a time, she gave a small nod, apparently satisfied, and ran her gaze up and down Allyson's figure unashamedly, taking all of her in.

"Then I will give you everything that I am." said Madelyn. Allyson was serious about what she wanted, and that meant there was no shame in holding anything back, not even the cruel, ugly, honest parts. That was scary to Madelyn, a woman who had never been known for opening up to others, but it was freeing as well, to know that there was somebody to see her as she was.

"I want you, all the versions of you, even the ones you think are too cruel, the ones that you think will ruin me,"

No doubt Allyson could feel Madelyn's smile spreading through the kiss. She couldn't help it. The words made her skin sizzle with warmth as electric excitement rolled across her body. Allyson was hers. Not hers to control, not to be directed by a leash, as she had teased back on Jutrand, but hers to be with, to defend and be defended, to confide in and to listen to, to touch, and be touched. Her true, and only equal.

What a fascinating development.

"I want you to ruin me."

Madelyn's grip tightened around Allyson, and she found herself arching her back, her fingernails digging into Allyson's skin, willing herself to be nearer, inhaling the scent of her, suddenly ravenous. She couldn't have pulled away if she wanted to, what with Allyson's fingers entwined in her hair, but she didn't want to. She wanted to be close. They were each locked into the other's embrace. Their physical proximity no different from any other time they had been seized by passion, but their emotional closeness different than before.

Madelyn closed her hands, gathering fistfuls of Allyson's leather jacket in her fists. Gently, but insistently, she began to push Allyson backward a few steps, and still holding her tight, began to lower her onto the fine leather lounge, the muscles in her slim but undefined core straining under their shared weight. Still, she managed to be gentle as she lowered Allyson down, and she had no doubt her spy was enjoying the sound of Madelyn panting by her ear.

"In that case." purred Madelyn in a voice she knew would make the hairs on Allyson's neck stand up. "I will make it unforgettable."

Madelyn extricated herself from Allyson's hold, propping herself up so that she could gaze down at Allyson's face while she straddled her. She looks her best from up here. Madelyn thought to herself, giving the Corellian a wicked grin and leaning down to kiss her passionately, first a lingering one with their lips smashed together, then another, and again and again more messily until Madelyn found herself perched atop Allyson, laying kisses into her neck while her fingernails raked a set of parallel lines across her shoulder. She'd have to make sure the spy covered up appropriately tomorrow, otherwise the staff would talk. But for now, she would mark her lover as she pleased. She groaned and ran her hands across her waist and hips, sinking deeper into her.

And then, like a switched had been thrown in her brain, Madelyn smiled pleasantly, and straightened up. Rising from the lounge and walking back towards the centre of the room as if nothing had happened at all, leaving Allyson breathless and waiting.

"Staying for dinner are you? I'll have one of the assistants bring it over. What do you feel like?"

Madelyn's eyes flashed with mischief, gleaming in the light of the sunset streaming in from the windows overlooking the creek. This was a game, of course, a sort of test, repeating her move from the office on Jutrand. What would Allyson do this time? Fall in line and comply? Or see if she could break Madelyn's will this time. She had an idea, but she very much wanted to see it play out.

After all, an agent as loyal as Allyson deserved to be rewarded.

Allyson Locke ​

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Madelyn Lowe //:

​

To feel wanted was a powerful feeling—a feeling that the Corellian had sought after for what felt like her entire life. To be wanted to the point of breaking was new and intoxicating.

Madelyn's hold tightened, and Allyson melted into her, shattering whatever boundaries she had kept up. There was no need to hide behind her charm or sarcasm. For once, she had let the truth drip from her lips; for once, it meant something to someone.

Her fingers laced through the woman's soft curls, her arms draped over her shoulders, keeping Madelyn as close as physically possible. Yet, she wanted more. Something had broken and rebuilt itself into something new, drawing the Corellian ever closer. The rest of the galaxy outside of this meant nothing to her; everything came down to one person: Madelyn. Allyson let herself want, desire, and crave the woman who held her tightly as she guided her back. Each step moved in tandem as she was guided back onto the lounge.

Madelyn pulled away, taking everything that the spy wanted with her. Allyson followed as if bound by a thread, desperate not to break. She watched her, admiring how the setting sun cascaded against her porcelain skin. At this moment, Madelyn Lowe had captured Allyson's attention. She met her in the middle, their lips crashing against each other. Her hands pulled Madelyn as close as she could once more, the need to feel whole, a need only Madelyn could give the Corellian.

With each kiss, Allyson found herself pressed into the lounge, the cushion being the only thing keeping her grounded. Breathless pleas whispered between each kiss as everything she could have ever wanted was being given. With each kiss against her neck and each drag of the woman's nails against her skin, Allyson buried her face in the hollow of the woman's neck - letting each gasp vibrate against Madelyn's skin.

Euphoria was close; everything was set and perfect. All that Allyson had done led to this moment when she could have the one thing, the one person she had wanted with her entire being. Suddenly, it was no longer there. Madelyn had paused, stopped, and pulled away, and Allyson's grip on the woman was released.

Her half-lidded gaze suddenly widened as Madelyn acted as if nothing had happened. Allyson leaned up, resting on her elbow, her jacket half off, the collar of her T-shirt stretched and disheveled from roaming hands. Her skin burned, and her face flushed—she just watched Madelyn. Finally, she inhaled deeply as her senses slowly returned to her. The high of almost fully surrendering herself lingered, and Allyson looked around the room, trying to find her voice.

Madelyn asked about dinner and what she had wanted. Allyson didn't move or speak as she let her eyes fall back on the Minister of Order. Once more, the woman was composed and was a picture of perfection. Was everything that just happened a dream? Did she hallucinate everything from walking into the door to now?

"Dinner?" Allyson repeated, her throat feeling thick. She slowly sat up, adjusted her clothing, and pulled off the eyepatch that had already started to fall. She pinched the bridge of her nose as her blood was still rushing from everything. How was Madelyn so good at turning off what they were just experiencing?

She remembered Jutrand, everything about that last moment in the office. Then, Allyson had complied, agreed to dinner, and left the woman alone. It took every ounce of her self-control not to stay, to now want to peel every layer of fabric from her body. Allyson remained silent as she weighed her options. One, she was kind of hungry—a steak and a potato would be lovely, but there was something more tantalizing she could have.

"I'm not hungry." She finally said, slowly rising from the lounge. She let the words hang as she slowly removed her jacket, letting it fall to the ground, forgotten. Allyson stepped forward, crossing the short distance between them quickly. She didn't stop till Madelyn's back was against the nearest wall, and Allyson's hands blocked any escape attempt.

"I behaved last time, I listened last time, I refuse to now." Her voice was low, like that night in Jutrand, Allyson's hand found the collar of the Minister's pristine uniform. Her fingers wrapped around the delicate fabric tightly. At the same time, her other hand searched for the bottom hem, sliding her fingers gently against the smooth skin.

"I told you I wanted you, all of you, and in return, I'm giving you everything I am." Allyson leaned forward while pulling Madelyn to her, their lips brushing gently as her voice lowered to barely a whisper.

"I am yours," she paused, a smile curling at the ends of her lips.

"And you are mine."

 

[Madelyn Lowe]

"I'm not hungry."

Madelyn turned and looked over her shoulder, a knowing smirk worn on her face. That was it then, the spark of resistance that made Allyson so special, the confirmation that she would not fall for Madelyn's ploy again, that in reality she knew both of them wanted this just as much as the other. It was perfect, and exactly what Madelyn had intended.

"Is that so?" said Madelyn, turning to face Allyson just as the spy brushed up against her, hands grabbing a bunch of her white silken shirt, pressing against her shoulder. Madelyn laughed as Allyson pushed her back, offering no resistance except enough to enjoy the tension of Allyson's muscles forcing her against the wall. Madelyn's hands roamed across the firmness of her abdomen and shoulders as she was pressed backward, sighing softly as she was fixed in place and Allyson's own hands began to caress her skin, searching beneath the material of her shirt.

"I behaved last time, I listened last time, I refuse to now."

"If there is one thing I can trust you to do, Ally," said Madelyn softly, looking down into her hazel eyes. "It is to misbehave." In actuality, what she was counting on was one of her agent's many talents, to instinctively read Madelyn, to understand what she wanted and never shy from the task, even anticipating her needs before she voiced them. No doubt she had learned it over her years as a Shadow, undercover, reading people. Allyson had understood Madelyn's challenge perfectly, and she had risen to it without a moment's hesitation, taking hold of the control that Madelyn had so willingly surrendered. It was no surprise, for it seemed like Allyson Locke could never disappoint her.

Madelyn rewarded Allyson's forthrightness with a fleet of kisses delivered to the bridge of her nose, and down her cheek bone, pausing for Allyson to speak, her lips hovering a breath away from her lover's.

"I told you I wanted you, all of you, and in return, I'm giving you everything I am."

She felt her body being pulled against Allyson's and she leaned into it, eager to touch her, to feel the contact of their skin, the warmth and the breath. She struggled for something to say to the sweet words but her mind was suddenly fuzzy, blood rushing to her head, nerves tingling with anticipation, the desire that she had suppressed so careful minutes earlier shattering her carefully crafted defences. Madelyn Lowe, always so composed, always so careful, so above it all, melted into Allyson's arms.

Madelyn pressed her hips to Allyson and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her in tight, wishing her to be closer than the physicality of their bodies would allow. She began to kiss her again with the passion she had on the lounge. Across her neck, along her collarbone, smashing her lips against Allyson's hungrily. The difference was that this time it was wholly uncontrolled. She had become a starving, needy thing, reliant on Allyson's touch to sate her, fully within her control should she pull the same stunt Madelyn had.

"Oh..." sighed Madelyn between kisses. "I can't resist you."

"I am yours, and you are mine."

"I am yours." Madelyn whispered, repeating Allyson's words as if sealing a pact. "You are mine." She affixed Allyson with a meaningful look, suddenly serious. "It is us, against all of them." she said. "You are the only person I trust."

"I want you with me tonight." Madelyn whispered softly. "And, in the morning, I want you to stay." Madelyn tapped the chin of her loyal agent, prompting her to lift her head, and sunk into a long, deep kiss. When Madelyn pulled away, her emerald eyes shone with life. "Tell me you will stay with me."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Madelyn Lowe //:

It is us, against all of them.
You are the only person I trust.​

Madelyn's words bled into the Corellian. People often tossed the word trust around so easily without realizing how precious it could be. Trust was something Allyson never held, something she could never give. For the spy, the word carried the weight of lifetimes. It was a word greater than love itself.

Because to love, you first need to trust.

Allyson listened, her eyes searching Madelyn's face for something that told her this was either a desperate dream or a game.

No one ever trusted Allyson Locke. She was a liar, a cheat, and a spy. Her entire existence was kept in the shadows as her heart sacrificed everything. And yet, Madelyn held her and whispered things she had always wanted to hear. They weren't lies; they were sacred prayers spoken between them. No one could ever know, and no one would ever penetrate the bond they created at that moment.

It was them against the rest of the galaxy.

Finally, Allyson belonged.

It was surreal, she had never expected these words to spill from the woman's lips. In the morning hours, there were times when night still claimed the sky that Allyson had stopped. Her eyes had watched the peace that lingered on Madelyn's face.

A useless wish. A foolish hope. Yet still, she clung to the idea that peace, aching peace, only ever came from the Corellian's touch.

So often, she reached without meaning, brushing delicate strands of gold from her face with reverence as though they were sacred remnants of something half-remembered and desperately missed. Like a shadow caught in sunlight, her fingers lingered only for a moment, never long enough. That hair, sunlight spun into silk, was both a blessing and a curse, a mark of the warmth she craved and the bitter truth that the light always meant she was leaving again.

Their agreement kept their secrets safe from each other and protected them from the darkness that lingered in their wake.

Allyson saw past that because she wanted someone to look past her thorns and see her for who she was.

Madelyn's kiss anchored her, returning to the moment they shared. Allyson melted, surrendering to the emotions that shattered her soul. This was all she ever wanted, but something always told her she wasn't allowed to have it - forever the shadow, the ghost that only sacrificed - never to be seen.

Allyson's chin was caught gently, her head lifted until verdant eyes locked with her own. The weight of the words that had just been spoken lingered like incense in the stillness between them, and her chest ached with the force of her heartbeat.

"Yes," she whispered, her voice laced with a rare sincerity. "That's all I've ever wanted." Her lips curved into a smile. "I only trust you, too."

The truth rose in her throat like a tide, catching, choking. So many times, she had come close to saying the words that now danced just beneath the surface. Words too easily said, too often emptied by circumstance. But not here. Not with her.

Instead, Allyson stepped back slowly, fingers still tangled in the silken fabric of Madelyn's shirt as she pulled her forward with her. "Us against all of them," she repeated, softer now, like a vow spun from the air between them.

They sank together, and Madelyn hovered above, framed by the low light and the intimacy of the moment. Allyson reached up, brushing blonde strands from her lover's face, her touch adoring. "No one will ever touch us," she breathed. "You… I swear it. No one will ever hurt you. Not while I'm still breathing. I won't let them."

It was all she knew how to prove what she felt. There were no other loyalties that mattered anymore. Madelyn no longer held her leash like a master to her faithful hound. Instead, she held Allyson's heart. Something that the Corellian had forever safeguarded behind sarcasm with one foot already out the door.

Her eyes no longer searched for the exit; instead, she held the woman's gaze. They were no longer competing for control; Allyson was willing to give everything—she didn't care anymore.

She wanted Madelyn, and in that same breath, Madelyn wanted her.

That was enough.

Pulling Madelyn closer, she slowly removed the remaining barriers between them. As the silken shirt was discarded off the side of the lounge, Allyson whispered into her lover's ear, "Ruin me; remind me I'm yours."

---

The late evening breeze cut through the cracked windows. Outside, the sound of the city had died down and given way to the jungle, which kept it hidden.

Allyson remained silent, letting the sounds of the cicadas fill the space of the house. A hand smoothed the loose shirt she had recently tugged back on as the breeze had cooled down the heat that they had shared.

A small smile curled as she kissed Madelyn on the forehead. She let her fingers lace with the woman's. It always surprised her how delicate Madelyn felt in quiet moments like this. It was quite the contrast she saw outside of their private meetings.

"I-" Allyson stopped and buried her face in the mess of golden hair as she stopped herself. Now wasn't the time, and she was getting ahead of herself. Allyson exhaled and then sat back up to hide what she would say.

"I do trust you, and I want you to know about me…I want to know about you..." Allyson's face softened, and she could feel her chest tighten. "I've never wanted someone to know me like I want you to."

 

[Madelyn Lowe]

Madelyn sat upright in the darkened living room, her weight leaned against Allyson, enjoying the proximity, the warmth that radiated from her body. She had a thin blanket pulled up to cover her bare skin, with her shoulders peeking out, the right one dappled with a larger, splotchier version of the birthmark under her eye. Allyson could count herself amongst the small group who had seen those marks up close, and that felt right.

"No one will ever touch us. You… I swear it. No one will ever hurt you. Not while I'm still breathing. I won't let them."

That is what Allyson had said, before they had fallen into each others' embrace. The echoes of their intimacy still lingered pleasantly in the stiffness of her limbs, the warm heat of her skin, and sleepy satisfied fog in her brain. She basked in the feeling, and let Allyson's words run through her mind; Absorbing them, tasting them, committing their glorious truth to memory.

Allyson would fight for her, and she would defend Madelyn and the strange and unspoken bond the pair had formed. That was a new and special thing. Madelyn had always had protectors of course. Bodyguards and mercenaries, but seldom anyone who actually cared, seldom anyone who saw Madelyn as more important than her station. Worth protecting in her own right.

The words set Madelyn's mind abuzz with bizarre, seditious, disloyal fantasies. Ones she did not dare to consider to deeply, let alone voice. Not yet, anyway. Not while she still held a semblance of control over her life.

Her heart filled with a profound gratitude, and with it sense of guilt. She had taken Allyson on mostly out of curiosity, as entertainment, as an asset. But, she was so much more than that to Madelyn now. She had dismissed Allyson as just a passing fancy, someone who was as useful as they were exciting. She had assumed the Corellian had felt the same way, but now that she thought about it, Allyson had showed up for her numerous times over, and not just because she was a loyal agent.

"After I left the Malsheem, I was convinced I would never care for anyone or anything again." said Madelyn, her voice slightly gravelly as she broke her silence. "But you have made me care. I'm sorry if I act... Strangely, about that."

"I do trust you, and I want you to know about me…I want to know about you..."

"I'm glad." said Madelyn, indulging the tenderness of the moment by resting her head on Allyson, instantly soothed by the gentle rise and fall of her shoulders with her breath. "I want to know about you too. "And-" Madelyn continued haltingly. "Nobody really understands me. But I think you could." The words were hesitant. Madelyn had not opened herself up to another in years, and this time around it felt wholly different to how it had in decades prior. Less calculated, less controlled, more vulnerable. She was teetering on the edge of a thousand different versions of oblivion, and she was giving Allyson the choice to steady her or push her off. The feeling was intensely uncomfortable. But she had said she trusted Allyson, so she swallowed her fear and went on.

"How about this then? A question each, back and forth, until the both of us are satisfied. Until there is nothing left to tell." Madelyn straightened, and pulled on her discarded shirt, not bothering to button it, and repositioned herself on the lounge to face Allyson. She pursed her lips and appeared to think for a few moments, before continuing.

"Since you're my guest, why don't you go first. Ask me anything that you have wondered, and I will reveal it." Madelyn intended to present an open book to Allyson. If the agent had earned anything, it was her raw, unabashed honesty. Allyson had already told her she wanted Madelyn with all her baggage, so it was high time she found out what she was getting into.

Allyson Locke ​

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Madelyn Lowe //:
//: Attire //:

Allyson watched closely, studying every subtle movement in Madelyn's expression. It was enough to tell her that she was trying. The subject made them both uncomfortable.

For Allyson, that was familiar. People quickly decided what she was, either untrustworthy because of her work or unworthy because of her past. The reputation she carried followed her into every room: the heartbreaker, the one who never stayed, the liar. There was some truth to it, but not the whole truth.

Her features softened when Madelyn spoke about being misunderstood. Allyson knew that feeling well. Even as a child, no one understood why she gave up everything just to chase the stars.

She let Madelyn finish, watching the woman slip the silken shirt back on. Allyson noticed the wrinkles gathered at the front, places where she had clutched the fabric earlier, trying to hold herself together.

The shirt stayed unbuttoned, and Allyson's mind started to wander.

Once Madelyn settled, Allyson let out a quiet breath and smiled. She leaned forward and shifted her weight until she was seated on the Minister's lap. Her voice was calm, but carefully commanded.

"Lean back."

Her hands moved with care as she buttoned the shirt slowly, leaving the top few undone—just enough.

"You're a beautiful distraction," she said with a quiet smirk, her tone lighter now, teasing.

Being close grounded her. It helped steady something inside that always felt uncertain. She never thought they would get this far. In her mind, this was supposed to be fleeting—a moment and nothing more—a brief spark before life returned to what it was.

Her hand came to rest gently against Madelyn's cheek. She let the quiet settle around them before speaking.

"I feel the same way," she whispered, letting her hand fall as she leaned in, resting her head on Madelyn's shoulder. "No one's ever really understood me. But with you, I feel like I don't have to explain anything."

She stayed there for a moment longer, letting her words settle, then leaned back slightly to meet Madelyn's eyes. Maybe that was why this felt so natural—why it hadn't collapsed under the weight of everything between them.

Two people who were never supposed to fit—somehow did.

When this started, she didn't know if it would last but wanted to believe it could. Maybe that was why she did what she did, almost wanting to prove to herself and Madelyn that this was worth everything. As time progressed, Allyson found herself not wanting to let go.

Still, one question kept rising in the back of her mind. Madelyn had mentioned the Malsheem. Allyson knew little about the ship beyond its connection to the Kainites. It only came up briefly when they arrived for the meeting. Madelyn's earlier comment lingered—something about it didn't sit right. It felt heavy, but important.

Something happened there. And for once, Allyson wanted to know more.

Her eyes stayed low, fixed on the fabric between her fingers as she worked up the nerve.

"What happened on the Malsheem?" she asked quietly, not looking up. Her fingers stayed busy, turning the edge of the shirt in slow, repetitive motions. She didn't want to assume the worst, but part of her was afraid to hear the truth. Fearful of what it might mean, of what history might be between her lover and someone who had once been her enemy.

When she finally looked up, her gaze met Madelyn's. A small smile pulled at the edge of her mouth, quiet reassurance written across her face.

Whatever it was, whatever the answer, she wasn't going anywhere.

 

[Madelyn Lowe]

Madelyn swallowed. She had been expecting this to come up, in some way, eventually. She had even thought she had an adequate answer prepared. But after meeting Allyson's dark eyes, with the directness of the question, the words just seemed to melt away from her mind. All the neat explanations, the downplaying, the careful allusions were gone. All was left was an ugly truth that she had to share, even though it shamed her.

"If- That is what you want to hear" said Madelyn haltingly. She did not pull away from Allyson, and as the agent toyed with the fabric she would no doubt feel Madelyn deflating a little, shoulders sagging. But she stayed by Allyson's side, cleared her throat, and fixed her eyes on the middle distance as she recounted the story. "Before you lay judgement on me, I need you to understand I was at my lowest. I was broken, and all I wanted was to be remade." She was relieved they were seated side by side, because Madelyn's eyes couldn't have raised from the floor if even if she wanted to. Her voice, usually filled with vigour and authority, was flat. She seemed lost, but she muddled through the story as if wandering through a dream, airing repressed and half-forgotten memories as they surfaced.

"At the centre of the Malsheem, there is a chamber. Its floor is covered in thick cables that crisscross it like arteries, and the whole space is bathed in red light that pours down from the ceiling, which is lost in a grey fog. It feels like you are standing in the worldcraft's heart." Madelyn's eyelids had fluttered closed, lost in the experience. "At the Heart's centre, there is a lake of blood- only, it's some sort of protogenic fluid, a pool that strips away flesh, fuelled by lightning and Darkness."

A pale hand reached out, the flesh cold, gripping Allyson's tightly for support.

"I was there because I had lost everything, and everyone that had ever meant anything. I was hopeless, and grey, and alone. I needed a salvation." Madelyn's breath caught but she pushed through the choking sound and fought to continue, words spilling out of her that she had never dared to utter to another soul. "So I went to Him, willingly. Embraced Darth Carnifex as my God. Forever."

Madelyn grit her teeth. "And in that pool the flesh sloughed off my bones, took with it my grief, my terrible sorrow, but also my compassion, my conscience, my love. It left me an empty, youthful vessel. Perfect. Beautiful. An echo of what I was."

"Don't pity me." said Madelyn, finally affixing her gaze on her lover again. "Salvation is not without its costs, Allyson."

Madelyn leaned her head back and pulled Allyson closer, the warmth of their bodies together driving away the lingering chill the memories had left in her. Luckily, the chance to move the conversation forward had landed in her lap by virtue of their game.

"My turn, then." said Madelyn softly. "I have wondered. You had a home, like mine here." she gestured to the lovingly restored house. "Before the Sith, before the Alliance. What was it like? What were you like?"

Allyson Locke
​

​

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Madelyn Lowe //:

Allyson listened, doing her best to take everything in and understand Madelyn's position. There was no judgment on her face. Allyson had known that helpless feeling and wanting to just start over. Unfortunately, that ability was never offered to the Corellian, and she wondered if she would have done the same thing as Madelyn.

Every word that told the tale of the transformation made Allyson's jaw tighten, and her throat clench. It wasn't said outright, but Allyson understood most of the implications. Carnifex never gave anything away for free, even to his most loyal servants.

It was almost comical how things had gone full circle for the Corellian. The man had vowed to bend another to his will when he had captured the spy so many years ago - he didn't accomplish the promise then. But fate had made sure he did it now.

His words pierced her mind, the long-buried memory surfacing as if it happened yesterday.

Allyson could feel her mind, herself, being ripped away from her body, hovering and watching everything play out. Yet, the moment Madelyn's hands grasped hers, she returned, noticing the chill on her delicate skin. It made Allyson wonder if it had always been there, but more often than not, the woman's touch against her skin burned with life.

The hand that held hers was slowly brought to the Corellian's face. Lips brushed carefully over reborn knuckles and fingers. Madelyn's voice did not want pity, and Allyson nodded, understanding what she was saying. She didn't pity the woman, but it broke Allyson's heart, knowing she would sacrifice so much for her salvation.

Carnifex was Madelyn's God, but could she see the devotion Allyson gave her?

Despite the price, Allyson had already begun working out how to give Madelyn her freedom.

Allyson let Madelyn pull her in; it would be a lie to say she didn't desire this closeness right now. It was a reminder that while Allyson feared that Madelyn wasn't entirely hers, she was in this moment. Leaning into Madelyn, she gave her a gently kiss along her jaw and sighed softly,

"You're not empty; you are beautiful - you still have everything you feel you've lost; you just have to take a moment to find it again."

She smiled while her fingers brushed back the stray gold strands of Madelyn's hair from her face.

The subject changed, Madelyn, claiming it was her turn, and Allyson didn't push the previous subject more despite wanting to. She didn't let go of her hand while listening to the question. It was simple - one that someone would often ask a potential partner to get to know them better.

Yet no one ever asked Allyson about the time before. No one ever wanted to know who she was before she was something to be coveted and owned with power. It was almost hard to recall the memories she had buried, trying to forget them. Still, Allyson tried - she wanted Madelyn to know who she was and where she came from.

Allyson wanted Madelyn to know her more than the tool she had been forged to be.

"Wow, I should have expected that question, but I didn't." Allyson laughed softly as she bought herself some time.

Looking up, Allyson tried to focus and remember who she was before everything. She hummed to herself before finally finding the courage to open herself up that much to someone.

"I had a normal childhood. I grew up in Corellia. Both my parents were Republic officers, and my mother - she was retiring - wanted to open a restaurant while my dad was becoming the head engineer for the Republic Fleet."

A hand rested against her chin as she continued to think; it was odd mentioning the Republic. Her youth was at the tail end of the Republic's power in the core.

"I had siblings, a twin sister, and a younger brother. I was the oldest," A little sly smirk spread across her face as she had never told anyone that she was actually from a set of twins. There was a part of her that wondered how many of her enemies would lose their minds knowing that there had been two of her running around the galaxy at one point.

"Their names were Christina and Bastian. My father wanted to name my brother after Bastion - I never understood why until later, after everything." She mused about it, knowing she'd eventually get to it - but not yet.

"Like I said, our childhood was simple; Christina was more inclined to whatever mother was doing while my father liked to drag me around the shipyards, asking me constantly about different ships, and like a good girl, I'd regurgitate everything I was learning at the academy I attended. Everything was planned out for me; to him, my affinity with technology, particularly ships, made me some prodigy - his greatest creation." Another laugh as she shrugged.

"I could care less. I only like starships because they are a means of escape. I had always wanted to travel the stars and see every inch of the galaxy. I didn't want to be some engineer my dad conditioned to be his shadow. I didn't want any of that, but I didn't say anything - we were raised well," Allyson paused and shrugged. Her father made their household like the one that he grew up in.

"You know how I said Jorryn was the reason for my proper Imperial manners?" Allyson's grin widened as she leaned back and straightened her posture; it was more than just practiced; it was nearly natural for her. Her lips parted, and the cadence was easily recognizable as the accent she used while masquerading as Rae Cooke.

"My father, a good Imperial man from Bastion, fell in love with a Corellian girl at his university. Our home was run with Imperial values despite being fully integrated within the Republic's thinking." The accent faded as Allyson returned to her typical improper spacer and Corellian tone.

"After Corellia broke, I did everything I could to break the accent. It was something I developed being so close with my father—Chris was lucky and sounded more like Mother, but even she had a tad bit of an influx at the tail end of her words." Allyson felt herself spiraling off course, but she cleared her throat and continued.

"Anyways, I was always rambunctious, but I was good at listening and following what my father wanted. I went to school, daydreamed of the stars, excelled at the academy, and corrected my father's interns' work. I was everything he wanted me to be. I would have easily stepped into his position, and the fleets of Republic would be my designs, not his."

Allyson smiled and kept her hands holding Madelyn's. "I think he would have liked having John as a son more than me as a daughter, to be fair. John Locke, by the way - of Locke and Key, he's my cousin."

She nodded and covered her face momentarily out of embarrassment, wondering if Madelyn had ever encountered some of John's early product magazines.

"If you ever looked at any product magazine from when Locke and Key first started, my impoverished twenty-year-old self was front and center modeling some armor or weapon John's brain had devised."

"But yes, I was happy, naive, and just wanted to see the galaxy's beauty. I had a fight with my father; he had convinced the dean to have me skip the later courses of the academy and graduate early. I had already been a child in classes with students who were twice my age. Yet, it wasn't fast enough - I was never fast enough for him."

Her eyes fell from Madelyn's as she sighed, "So we fought; I ran away and snuck onto a ship I had seen several times port when I was daydreaming. I already figured out what was wrong with its thruster output, so I fixed it. That was when Ember found me messing with his ship." A faint lining of a smile curled her lips as she tried to keep the memory happy.

"He liked what he saw, I told him I was an orphan, and he took me on. The day I left Corellia was when I watched it from a viewport collide with another planetary object because of Akala." Tears welled at the corners of her eyes, but they didn't fall. She squeezed her lover's hands gently, trying to keep herself going.

"I watched my whole life shatter - my lie became the truth. I was an orphan; I left hating my family because they didn't understand me and what I wanted."

A hand quickly moved against her eye, wiping away whatever threatened to fall. Allyson refused to cry; she didn't deserve to - they were the ones who lost their life, not her. She had been the unlucky fool who chose the right time to run away.

She was a coward, and she knew it.

"Years later, I did some investigating because while in the SIA, I had come across some recovered files from old Republic records. My father was a double agent from the One Sith. He turned against them so he could be with my mother. They were requested to return to Bastion to infiltrate and figure out what my grandfather was working on. My father found it and then came to Corellia, and he continued his life till Corellia broke."

Allyson sighed and forced a laugh. Her whole line was filled with traitors and liars. No wonder she had become what she did. The only person she found to be good was her mother. Still, even then, the woman was just as mysterious regarding the sealed records from her Republic career.

"I wish I would have stayed and worked things out with my dad, at least tell him I'm sorry. But there's a part of me that is happy I ran away. If I didn't, I'd be dead with them on Corellia."

Her eyes met Madelyn's as she finished, "Instead, I returned, helped bury the dead, helped whoever survived, and did what I could because I-" She paused. She wanted to say because it was right, but instead, "I did it so I could try and maybe not feel so guilty."

It was out there, and Allyson felt a slight weight fall from her shoulders. She finally revealed how foolishly selfish she was.

"I was fourteen, one of the youngest recipients of Second Class Corellian Blood Stripes for my rescue efforts. I found them, and I buried them with my own two hands. Carried each of their bodies from the wreckage, most unrecognizable, but I just knew it was them. I felt it in my gut."

Allyson leaned forward again, burying herself into Madelyn's shoulder; she was too exposed. Each wound lay open to the cool air of the room.

But she wanted this - she wanted someone to know her. Allyson inhaled sharply as she did her best to find a way to ground herself. She clutched the delicate fabric of Madelyn's shirt as she fought the urge to scream, not knowing fully how to direct the emotions she was feeling. For too long, she had buried them; it was easier than actually feeling them.

And now they were there, in the open.

After a few moments, her grip released, and Allyson again fought with herself. It was easier to try to distract Madelyn with intimacy, to end the game prematurely. It would allow Allyson to lose herself to someone who made her feel good, but it wouldn't be fair to Madelyn. So, instead, she leaned up and smiled.

"I'm okay, but now it's my turn. I want to ask something lighter maybe?"

Allyson mused momentarily, "How do you think things would have gone if I had tried to learn your secrets, Madelyn Lowe - while I was Rae?" A mischievous grin spread across her face as Allyson tried to push down the swell of emotions she had just let herself feel after almost fifty years.

"Do you think things would have been any different?"

A part of Allyson regretted not trying to take a chance with Madelyn that evening. Maybe things would have been different—or maybe they would have changed the course of their current situation.

Either way, Allyson was curious, which prevented her from asking about the issue of Carnifex owning the woman that she was slowly falling in love with.