Too Stubborn To Die
Hey.
I've had quite the month, or at least, quite the beginning of the month. Rapid fire posts, threads that were popping, and the general enjoyment of writing with talented writers.
But, recently, it's felt like all that dried up. All that writing I was enjoying, every thread, just stopped. People I was writing with either got busy, or just got bored. Some of them are still writing, just not with me. And hey! That happens! We've all been the person to give up on a thread, and we've all had threads given up on. Not everyone meshes with everyone. That's how RP goes, more often than not. Life gets in the way.
But for me, it just happened to nearly every thread I'm in. That's a lot of writing—and a lot of things I was trying to build up to—suddenly just stopped. Stuck in limbo. And again, that's just how it goes. I understand that. I certainly don't blame anyone.
But I can't pretend that it isn't one hell of a motivation killer.
I tried to ignore that. Told myself I was being stupid, and that the motivation was still there. Told myself that I was just letting a minor annoyance get in the way of what I enjoyed. Told myself that a thread would pick up soon enough, and that I would feel like an idiot for ever thinking this way.
But I still caught myself thinking that way.
So I wrote a blog post, as a way to remind myself that I still enjoy writing Gatz. An experiment to get my creative juices flowing, and to convince myself that I was being dumb.
And it was like pulling teeth.
That was all the proof I needed. The truth is, my desire to write here just kinda… died with those threads. And knowing that those people are still actively writing, but have grown bored with writing with me, well… it’s a bummer. But still, I convinced myself to suck it up, reminded myself that this shit happens, and hoped that maybe that motivation would come back. So I slept on it. Twice. Woke up this morning and was still indecisive. Kept thinking about it, and spent a little time browsing the board, trying once more to spark some interest in myself. Then the site died, which got a good laugh out of me.
So after work, I poked around again. And, suddenly, I wasn't indecisive anymore.
It's plain and simple: I’m just not feeling great about my writing, or about writing here. Sorry to those I’m in threads with, dead or otherwise. Maybe that’ll change, and I'll be back again. Maybe not.
Either way, I wish you folks the best. As we often say in this fandom: live long and prosper.
I've had quite the month, or at least, quite the beginning of the month. Rapid fire posts, threads that were popping, and the general enjoyment of writing with talented writers.
But, recently, it's felt like all that dried up. All that writing I was enjoying, every thread, just stopped. People I was writing with either got busy, or just got bored. Some of them are still writing, just not with me. And hey! That happens! We've all been the person to give up on a thread, and we've all had threads given up on. Not everyone meshes with everyone. That's how RP goes, more often than not. Life gets in the way.
But for me, it just happened to nearly every thread I'm in. That's a lot of writing—and a lot of things I was trying to build up to—suddenly just stopped. Stuck in limbo. And again, that's just how it goes. I understand that. I certainly don't blame anyone.
But I can't pretend that it isn't one hell of a motivation killer.
I tried to ignore that. Told myself I was being stupid, and that the motivation was still there. Told myself that I was just letting a minor annoyance get in the way of what I enjoyed. Told myself that a thread would pick up soon enough, and that I would feel like an idiot for ever thinking this way.
But I still caught myself thinking that way.
So I wrote a blog post, as a way to remind myself that I still enjoy writing Gatz. An experiment to get my creative juices flowing, and to convince myself that I was being dumb.
And it was like pulling teeth.
That was all the proof I needed. The truth is, my desire to write here just kinda… died with those threads. And knowing that those people are still actively writing, but have grown bored with writing with me, well… it’s a bummer. But still, I convinced myself to suck it up, reminded myself that this shit happens, and hoped that maybe that motivation would come back. So I slept on it. Twice. Woke up this morning and was still indecisive. Kept thinking about it, and spent a little time browsing the board, trying once more to spark some interest in myself. Then the site died, which got a good laugh out of me.
So after work, I poked around again. And, suddenly, I wasn't indecisive anymore.
It's plain and simple: I’m just not feeling great about my writing, or about writing here. Sorry to those I’m in threads with, dead or otherwise. Maybe that’ll change, and I'll be back again. Maybe not.
Either way, I wish you folks the best. As we often say in this fandom: live long and prosper.
